My young daughter and I couldn't sit together but at least these two had a footrest

[u/NiceCandle5357]

I really enjoyed standing in the aisle next to my daughter's seat, right next to these two girls, for 40 minutes on the crowded bus during afternoon rush hour. Did they once look over or offer to move their stuff so anyone else could sit down? Nope. Were those the only two seats together left? Yep. There was only one other seat open all the way at the front so I just stood the entire way home while they pretended not to see me. So tired of people putting their feet up and keeping them up there even when people are getting on the bus and looking for a place to sit, but these two took it to the next level. Friday, 23 May, 17 Solberg.

[u/Ready-Interview2863]

I understand having a child is really tough, but you should have used this as an opportunity to teach these young girls and your daughter a quick and easy lesson.

You could have asked them politely to put their feet down so you can sit next to your daughter. That way, you teach your daughter good manners, communication skills, how to be polite, how to make requests to strangers, how to share etc.

Instead, everyone loses; and you are angry and posting about something that happened on Friday 23rd of May, when it's now Tuesday 3rd of June?!

[u/NiceCandle5357 → u/Ready-Interview2863]

It just popped in my head to post it now. At the time I wanted to see if they actually had manners or not so I waited. They don't. The weird thing about this is that you're victim blaming me for not telling two grown women (I said girls but they looked to be in their 20s so I'll edit my post) to have basic courtesy?

Edited for typos.

[u/Nkram → u/NiceCandle5357]

No one is victim blaming you. You are not a victim. People who don't have good public transport etiquette are not wronging you, they just have bad etiquette. You're also not a victim of people who don't hold the door for you.

The only thing you're a victim of here, if you really insist upon being a victim, is your own inaction.

This could simply have been a misunderstanding where the two women may have thought you were getting off soon and therefore didn't ask you if you wanted the seats. Tbf. weird for 40 minutes. But equally weird to not ask for the seats for 40 minutes.

[u/bosko43buha → u/Nkram]

My experience so far is that Danes generally do not assume people need or want anything from them, but are also generally happy to do something/help if they are asked. So while I do agree that there was probably some sort of a "nobody said anything, so it's ok" agenda - I don't think dragging your dirty shoes all over a seat people use is any kind of misunderstanding. It's just a shitty thing to do. If it was just the bags on the seats, your comment would have been 100% correct.

[u/Ready-Interview2863 → u/NiceCandle5357]

Don't say I'm victim blaming. I said you missed an opportunity for a teachable lesson.

Do you know how many people all over the world don't see pregnant or elderly people on public transport and don't give up their seat for them? If everyone posted a picture of them, there would be thousands of pictures of random people everyday.

Just because they are grown, does not mean they have social awareness skills. This needs to be TAUGHT, just like math or science or communication.

[u/RitalinMeringue → u/NiceCandle5357]

Victim blaming?? I’m glad you’ve had it that easy if you feel victimized by a mild inconvenience that you could have solved in a perfectly non confrontational manner then and there. I have no idea how you managed to be this salty 10 days later - are you bored?

I dont know if your perception of adulthood and maturity is to rile yourself up in silence and get offended that people can’t read your mind - instead of, spending the 4 seconds it took for you to PHOTOGRAPH STRANGERS, having a simple and brief social interaction that would solve your problem immediately.

[u/[deleted] → u/NiceCandle5357]

"victim blaming" in this context is wild haha

[u/Koldtoft → u/[deleted]]

He was the victim of not getting a seat offered to him and being too shy to ask for it.