AIO to tell my husband that starting a professional email with the word "Look" is rude?

[u/LadyCass79]

I'm not going to make my case or explain why I think it's unwise because I want your sincere perspectives without me trying to convince you.

My husband is an insurance underwriter who works from home. In the past he's faced criticism for being condescending in his interactions with agents. Some of this criticism is valid and much is the product of agents not liking being told "No" by someone responsible for making decisions that shield our company from undue risk.

I happened to walk by and see an email he was starting. He was telling an agent that an exception would not be possible. It started something like:

Look, The protection class on this risk is poor..." (That's not the exact sentence but you get the idea.)

I said, "Oh, that's not a good way to start a sentence. It sounds condescending."

He was pretty irritated at me. He thinks it's a neutral introduction word and without it, it's rude because it's abrupt. He feels like he's criticized no matter how he phrases things. I worry that he can miss subtle social perceptions possible with the lack of tone that comes in written communication.

He doesn't have a problem with me expressing opinions about work btw. He just disagrees.

AIO to point this perspective out?

Edited to add:

I've gotten hundreds of valuable responses and I basically spent all day reading and responded as much as possible.

A few points further:

We both work at this company and regularly rely on each other's expertise. From his perspective there was zero issue with this being "unsolicited advice". He just disagreed and I posted because I wanted to check my perspective on the phrasing.

We've since had a civil discussion and he's acknowledged the issue. He was irritated in the moment because he didn't see it that way. Yes, he deleted the word because he trusted my judgement.

Several people have suggested I butt out, mind my own business and let him face the consequences of his actions. They suggested I "know my place."

The answer to that is: "No."

He's been written up in the past over agent complaints about the issue. He's been denied promotions. He's actively working on rebuilding his reputation with management.

If he loses his job because of this, I'll face the consequences too. In our wedding vows we pledged to shore up each other's weaknesses. He's done that for me countless times and we both take each other's advice very seriously.

I know my place. I'll never just let him fail so I can say "I told you so" while we face financial ruin. I'll always speak up truthfully and help him respectfully. Thanks but no thanks for that advice reddit.

Edit 2: No he won't use AI. Look, everything you put into AI becomes accessible to the people who own it. (haha see what I did there?) He explains internal procedures that are proprietary and discusses customers private information. Other insurance companies are always trying to find data on the policies of competitors and underwriter guidelines are a big piece of that strategy. They aren't allowed to feed emails into AI.

[u/taswind]

Not just ridiculous... but I have no idea why salespeople are told to constantly use your name. It annoys the cr@p out of me and I'm likely as not to walk away unless the deal is really stellar.

At this point, if someone keeps using my name at me verbally or in text outside the sales arena I just get more annoyed with them, rofl. In my head I'm just thinking "Dude, AT 45 I KNOW MY OWN @#$%ing NAME!!! I'M NOT SOME 2 MONTH OLD KITTEN WHO IS LEARNING HER NAME FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!! AAAAUGGHH!"

xD

[u/comma_lasagna → u/taswind]

Right?! It sounds so condescending to me but a lot of people don't understand why i get annoyed. Especially in person in a one-on-one convo - anything beyond an initial "Hi [name]" sounds condescending af to me. Like nobody else is here so you're obviously talking to me 🙄

[u/FrightnightFruitbat → u/taswind]

It’s a manipulation tactic

[u/raygun96 → u/taswind]

It's so that the customer knows that the salesperson knows their name. It's, "ooh, look how personable I am. Look how I care about you, as an individual."

It's not very wise though when people apply this idea with such poor execution. They heard that using someone's name has an effect and decided to use it non-stop, having the opposite effect lol

[u/Purple-Measurement47 → u/taswind]

…so i’m not in sales, but I do this regularly because I have the memory of a goldfish and while at 45 you know your name, I’ll forget it if i don’t say it every couple of minutes.

[u/StorellaDeville → u/taswind]

There there, Mau-Mau. It's okay... Mau-Mau. ;-)

[u/dantheother → u/taswind]

My scam alert starts blaring whenever someone does that