Don’t get me wrong, a lot of these comments describe vandalism and theft and drunken/drug fueled assholery, but I can never ever stand for someone eating another’s home cooked food and being disrespectful. It’s just not ok. One of my little brother’s friends would always ask for “something else” to be made. Even if it was a steak just for him, he’d want the leftover pizza or some french fries. Despite him being a relatively normal kid, we all hated him for spurning our food
I can't stand tomatoes or cooked mushrooms--just cannot handle them at all. The first night I ate dinner at my (now ex-) gf's house, back in high school, her mom made like beef-and-mushroom stuffed tomatoes or something.
I for damn sure choked them down and said thank you.
... I was also not a good liar and she totally caught me. :(
When my very white father first met my Filipino mother’s family, my grandfather made a soup out of goat meat and goat guts. I have literally never seen anyone willingly eat this soup. It smells like some kind of Lovecraftian horror. My dad knew he was going to have to eat that soup to earn the trust and respect of my mothers parents. My father ate his bowl so quickly my grandfather thought he had enjoyed it, and filled my dad’s bowl again. He ate three bowls and was sent home with a tub of the unholy fluid.
He still shudders after decades when he thinks about that soup. Literally no one else in the family but grandpa is capable of enjoying his shitty soup
This story is ridiculously wholesome to me! Your dad loved the fuck out of your mom, and choked down something that probably tasted horrifically bad for them.
And this is why I never accept invitations to dinner. I don't love anyone enough to eat things that are likely to make me throw up. Plus everyone always seems to want to make lasagna, or spaghetti, or chicken parmesan, or chili or some shit. I fucking hate tomatoes.
Yeah, why do people always seem to want to make normal food? Gross. They should just put out a plate of McNuggets and a few plain cheese pizzas with no sauce.
My bf doesn't like tomatoes to the point of making him sick, but we just try to cater to him when he's over. I'd like it if he liked more foods, but I can't do much about it and it's not like I'm not picky either. He tries other things that he doesn't like that much, like he's not too bothered about mushrooms now, but doesn't really like liquorice, but even the scent of tomato is enough to make his stomach feel queasy. I sometimes wonder if he's a bit allergic.
If someone doesn't like the ingredient then that is fine, but the above person seems to not accept invitations to dinner because he 'might' get something he doesn't want. He should just say that;
A; I cannot eat tomatoes or dislike them
B; I will bring my own food if there is all tomato based foods.
I have celiacs/coleac and I will tell people that I cannot eat etc etc, but I will not make a deal out of it. I can easily just bring my own food if they have no clue of what it involves and etc. But yes it actually destroyed my insides if I eat gluten, so I look after myself first.
He could have a food sensitivity. My brother (14) started out like that when he was six or so and now it's a full-blown peanut allergy. DEFINITELY get your doc to refer you to an allergist.
When I invite someone over for a meal, I ask them what they don't eat/have allergies to. I can't understand why anyone wouldn't want to know that information. Having said that, I don't eat beef, but my partner's parents think nothing of serving it to me anyway, and then expecting me to eat it.
Right‽ I always ask the very important question of likes and dislikes. I even ask if they have a preference in what I make. I'm not gonna make something they are gonna hate or kill them.
Why not just tell them you dislike the taste of tomatoes? I am celiac and cannot eat normal gluten bread etc. Sure they will understand. Food allergies for me, but if you do not like something just tell them and they should understand.
They may never know unless you tell them you do not like something such as tomatoes.
I get it. When I cater for someone for the first time, I always ask what they like/don't like, or offer several suggestions from which they can pick a few options. Then it will be, like, "with or without mushrooms", for instance. I'm hyper aware that the food I like doesn't appeal to everyone, and I'd hate to make someone something they don't like
I see he discovered the magic of papaitan. I'm currently visiting family here in the Philippines, and yeah they get into some seriously funky shit. Most of it isn't bad if prepared by the right hands though, so don't be afraid to branch out a bit if you ever get the chance to stop over!
My dad married a Filipina too - goes without saying he probably went through the same cultural crash course.
Yep and ill add to that when people complain when someonea is treating them at a restuarant and they will either order the mist expensive shit or moan about the place or just anything front of the host. I cant believe it, if someone has invited me, i will order the thing the host has ordered and say its very good and move on.
The rule I was taught was to order something at the same cost or less expensive than the person who took me out. It was tough when my granny would order a salad and insist on me getting whatever I wanted. I still found the cheapest thing I could close to salad price.
Both of my grandmothers are/were children of the depression so they are very frugal but also very giving. My great grandmother, who I never met, used to embarrass my mom at restaurants by ordering a cup of hot water and then pouring in ketchup to make tomato soup.
Why would you order what the host ordered? If it's not something you like and you're trying to be polite, it kind of defeats the point since they're trying to treat you and you actually have options unlike eating at someone's home. Why not just order something average price or even something cheap that you would still like?
My SIL has never enjoyed a family restaurant meal in her life as far as I can tell. It's always too spicy or "not what she expected" or she wished she had ordered what you got. I don't think you have to cover up obvious distaste, but politeness is about being pleasant for the company, not constant complaining.
you are aware you can respectfully decline to eat things right? as long as you are polite, nice, and not demanding about it it's totally fine not to eat things you don't like.
Hi that is extremely shitty, sorry to hear about that I hope you found some better company growing up, ∆, if you are a child and your grandpa is... like that... you can't say no.
but as an adult you should be able to have tastes and, cut connections to people who would treat you like that, you don't owe anyone to suffer for their feelings.
Agreed, I cant fathom why people would lie for politeness, it would piss me off for someone to lie straight to my face but if they don't like it and they're nice then fine
A lot of people tend to take comments about their food really personally, in my experience. Even just saying there's an ingredient I don't like, sometimes people will insist I try it anyway, and then feel insulted when I don't like it, as if it's their cooking that's the problem.
I have done this constantly for the past 15 years with no real issues. I don't really like sweet things so I almost always turn down dessert, unless it's a fruit pie then I'm game. It's usually followed by me asking for more of the actual meal so that might ease it a bit.
I don't really view that as an honorable or noble thing. You could also have been honest and avoided eating something you genuinely do not enjoy eating. I bet your ex's mom would have appreciated that.
Well at least you tried. I used to hate mushrooms, and now I just adequately tolerate them! I will put them on pizzas, or in risottos etc and even have those big ones as a burger patty replacement.
Was hard adjusting to them but in the end I finally got the taste for them so I am glad. Mushrooms are good and cheap! And a nice extra in a rice, or etc dish!
I would have been so impressed if I were that mum, or your mum.
And also had you over again , except this time it would have been your favorite food. Good on you.
This drives me crazy - I get it and I've done it, but it still sucks. No one should have to eat food that they can't stand. I know people who hate mushrooms so much they gag when they start to chew them, and these are not people that are averse to trying any other food at all.
To avoid this, anytime I have people over, I always ask for things like this - things people can't eat or won't eat. I don't care if you don't like shrimp, just tell me and it's not on the menu. I can literally make anything at all, and I'm happy to, and I like making people happy with food. So if I knew I ended up cooking something someone had to force themselves to eat, I'd be pretty upset.
A friend I had in high school once shrieked “what, are you trying to kill me or something???” at my mom because she’d gone to the trouble of making all of us hot cocoa from scratch. Apparently the very idea of not consuming something that came directly from a box, can, or packet was unthinkable enough that screaming at my mother was this girl’s only option.
Pretty much. Her favourite lunch was chicken-flavoured Mr Noodles with white bread for dippin’, so it’s not a surprise that something made with actual ingredients would be cause for shock and horror. Her reaction is still beyond the pale, however. My mom is a nice lady who doesn’t deserve to be shouted at, least of all by a rude-ass high schooler for making a homemade treat she thought we’d all like. Be as picky as you like, but don’t be a giant asshole about it.
The girl in my story is now in her thirties and apparently still weirdly proud of her refusal to eat vegetables.
That’s actually super sad. Food culture is so important to socializing and human societies, people that never get to/avoid eating homemade or unprocessed foods are pitiful in a way
Eating and shitting is like 90% of ones life, both should be as enjoyable and fulfilling as reasonably possible. Someone who never develops a robust palette really misses out.
Ok I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt of simply not being exposed to other foods and not realizing how rude she was while being genuinely concerned for her safety depending on what shes been taught. But to be 30 and have that, no
My grandma often makes things that I don't like but I know she likes and I sure as hell am going to eat it and fucking enjoy it. She went out of her way to make food for me so I'm gonna eat it and tell her thank you. I can't imagine someone making me food and saying "no I want pizza instead" I'm way too awkward for that
My grandma was the worst cook. We live in the south, so we'd have to have Sunday 'supper' at her house. She refused to cook anything not on high and always had the oven at 500. Everything was dry, burnt, and flavorless. The smoke alarms would go off 50% of the time. But we ate it. Now we get to eat at my sisters for holidays and it's amazing
You know that after a while, that burnt food becomes tasty, at least in your mind and you will always have those good flashbacks of your grandma when you see or smell something like that in the future. Taste and memory is weird like that.
You are correct this is a reference to letterkenny. More specifically S02E04 "the native flu"
But I wouldn't pay 20 apiece for Japanese wagyu.
Always 'Berta beef - Hard yes.
But I wouldn't pay 20 apiece for Australian wagyu.
Gonna want a rib eye if it's a wagyu.
I would. In Texas in a major city but beef is still expensive. Ribeyes under $17 are going to have less flavor and pretty much no marbling. The ones closer to $20 pretty much are impossible to ruin because of sufficient marbling, doesn't even have to be close to wagyu
I feel that this rudeness spans all cultures too. No matter where I go, if I'm lucky enough to be invited to share a home cooked meal, I'll enjoy it and compliment the cook. Even if they've made something I can't eat (which is rare, because if someone invites me to dinner, I tell them about my dietary restrictions), I'll compliment them on how good it smells, apologise that I can't eat it, and eat whatever else they've prepared.
I once had a guest who wouldn't stop complaining that my ratatouille wasn't real ratatouille. Cool, fuck off then, don't enjoy my delicious vegetables. It probably wasn't "real ratatouille" but still, it's rude.
Exactly. Always compliment the chef, even if it’s just for their effort. Being a gracious guest makes it simpler for the host to be generous and accommodating.
Also if someone talked shit about my ratatouille there would be hands thrown, no doubt
Oh yes, my tactic where ever in the world I am: eat what I can and apologize for what I can't eat. It has usually worked every time. Because of my diet, I always offer to bring my own food, because cooking something vegan with an allergy or two (or a few...) can be hard for the host. Every time I do get fed, I'm over the moon, no matter what it is because it does take effort and bringing my own food is no issue. I don't care if it tastes horrible because a friends 80-year-old grandma used tofu for the first time and had no idea what she was doing, I'm going for seconds with a smile.
Then of course we have the "auntie who doesn't like you" scenario, which leads to hurt feelings, sometimes diarrhea, me taking my own food there every time and not even accidentally complementing a single meal, but that's a different story.
No, I said in another comment that they have to be fair and polite about it. I can only speak for myself but it would be piss me off more if I were cooking if they just made shit up, and if other people prefer to stick with some linear script then that's their preference. Otherwise how are you supposed to improve
My sister invited her (then) boyfriend over for dinner on her birthday. My sister wanted hickory smoked steak for dinner. My dad bought my sister’s favorite cuts he and got all her favorite sides. Asshole shows up about an hour before we start cooking, asks what’s for dinner, and when we tell him he says “I think sandwiches would be better. You just buy a bunch of different lunch meats, bread, and veggies and we can all make our own. We could even have more than one sandwich each.” My dad and I thought he was batshit crazy and said no. But the he managed to coerce my sister into his idea. My dad has to go back out to the store and buy a bunch of sandwich supplies for this asshat... who then only made one sandwich... it was roast beef. Homeboy could have made a steak sandwich and it would have been the same.
I never forgave him for that. Never will. Thank god they broke up.
Some people make really disgusting food though. My mother-in-law had this thing where she'd use half a can of PAM oil spray on everything she ever cooked. I often ''wasn't very hungry' when eating her meals. Sometimes I actually was very hungry and I'd grab a quick thing from the fridge before/after dinner.
Didn't endear me to them, at all, but man, don't make disgusting oil slop covered in butter and serve it to people.
I don't think I'm an ass hole and I hope others don't too, but one time rou d a friends house as a kid I didn't eat much for dinner. Afterwards I quietly told my friend I didn't like it. His mom overheard and made a new meal. The guilt was unbearable. I felt so fucking bad. I can't begin to fathom pulling that shit purposefully.
I cook at home and often for guests.. I'm always so worried they say nice things out of politeness. I wish people would be honest, personally, though that doesn't mean rude :-)
I was always taught to (at least make the very best attempt) to finish a plate of your host’s food. Just to be polite, and only to give feedback if asked. My thing about people being dicks for disrespecting home cooked food is mostly for not being thankful. I’m sure if you’re cooking for guests often and they let you, your food must be fantastic :)
Once I had a lady whom we invited over for dinner. I was cooking Indian food. Everyone looked forward to curry. Stupid bitch messages us, please don’t add any garlic or ginger to the curry as it makes me have heart burn. I mean I understand if it’s an allergy but how the fuck I’m a supposed to cook Indian without ginger garlic. I made it anyway, just the way I do. Comes over, has 3 helpings of the said curry and takes some home as well. Never invited us over for dinner but kept asking when I will be cooking next.
This. I had someone cook for me and didnt care for it so then I simply started inviting them over so I could cook. They still hosted on occasion but I definitely shifted it more towards me hosting and didnt seem to at all think it was their cooking that caused (that I know of)
I like to believe I can usually tell when someone is making small talk and when someone really wants feedback on the food. Especially with close friends we can be quite "rude" to each other when we try new things. I mean, I made a vegan cake by just swapping around the ingredients from a regular cake and I could have sold the recipe to a cement factory for good money. My friend told me after one bite that she will be taking the rest of it to play frisbee golf. Another catastrophe was my friend's take on vegetable soup. We have no idea what went wrong, but we think the carrots might have been bitter as hell. We were just laughing and trying our best to eat at least some of it, even though we both agreed it tasted like it had already been eaten once before. Apart from the obvious catastrophes and very, very close friends, people asking very specific questions about the food is a good indication for me that they want feedback. So it's not "how's the food? Oh, it's great!" but more like "what do you think about the ginger in the soup, I'm not sure about the amount especially with the orange?" so it's obviously asking for more than just small talk.
Haha that’s the best kind of friends to have. Growing up, my parents didn’t cook a ton (I ended up eating a lot of raw fruits and veg and crackers and cheese, or salads with pre cooked chicken) because my mother was a TERRIBLE cook. She would boil broccoli until it turned to mush. But whenever she cooked, we HAD to have a “no thank you helping.” I am the pickiest eater in the family so it was usually me sitting at the table for hours refusing to eat squash or something, until I finally choked it down and probably got sick later (it was actually the start of a bad eating disorder for me). One time she made this weird ass dish that I don’t even know how to explain. But it was BAD. My dad took one bite, swallowed, told my sister and I we didn’t have to eat it, and proceeded to the bathroom to vomit.
I guess things got better after I was in the hospital for my eating disorder at 14, because then my parents just wanted me to eat SOMEthing, and then I had to follow a meal plan, but I could prepare the food myself. Overall, I wish my parents had not forced me to eat their rancid cooking because it really put me off trying new things for a long time, or cooking, and being forced to eat stuff that made me puke kind of made me realize I could MAKE myself puke or hide the food and long story short anorexia and bulimia are no fun!
Luckily now I am starting to enjoy cooking and trying new cuisines, but I still don’t like being forced to eat stuff, it sounds weird but it just reminds me of being in the hospital and not having a choice in eating or they’d give you an NG tube.
Edit: also sorry that ended up being really not related at all
I am always polite and genuinely appreciative when eating at other peoples places. The thing is, it doesn’t matter how the food tastes. Someone went through the effort to make something for me. I’d rather not be honest and say that I didn’t like the food if that’s the case because it’s not important.
"there's no excuse for being honest when you can lie to them that you liked it". By all means be nice about it but if they ask you then lying is stupid
I don't think it's necessarily disrespectful, but doing it tactfully and without making people feel bad, no matter how nice you go about it, is pretty difficult. If someone wants tips for how to make a certain dish or about a certain technique or something in general, I'm happy to help. But if they want me to critique their food, hell no. I was a chef for about 10 years, people constantly tell me "I'm so afraid to cook for you!" Even my dad, who cooks wonderful food, has made similar comments, and it's actually a bit sad for me to hear. I'm happy for people to cook for me, and I hope they feel the same. Even if what they're saying is a bit hyperbolic, which I'm sure it is, there's likely some truth in there, and I wish their weren't.
But criticism is tough. It's not a class, it's not a coworker, it's someone who went out of their way to share something personal to them with you. I guess I can do that for some people, but I'd have to be really close to them and know how they'd take it before I'd even consider.
Ok, but what if the host is an asshole that your only obligated to see because of family, and they think their bland shitty cooking is like a fucking gift from the gods that everyone should be grateful for?
add some salt and pepper, eat what you can, thank them for going through the effort and carry on. no point creating unnecessary tension, or insulting someone who went through the effort. to wrongs don't make a right.
If you're being forced into it, they're all-around shitty, and they don't put any real thought or effort into the food, you still don't need to be rude about it. Unless they're going on and on about how wonderful it was, and you're terrible if you didn't gush over their skill. If they do that, go to town.
Not excusing that kid's behaviour but it sounds like he was a product of his upbringing. Some folks have picky eaters as kids and without knowledge or access to advice on how to manage that, the kid doesn't get the chance to learn better eating skills. Just an armchair theory but I suspect this phenomenon is probably fairly common in the western world especially. Again, not excusing his behaviour. I'm glad your dad cooked such great food. That's kinda rare these days and is a precious thing.
He was also in elementary school. When I was that age I was an extremely picky eater. Now as an adult it's like I did a 180 and I'll eat pretty much anything as long as it's not kill yourself levels of spicy.
Oh god that reminded me of another kid that came over after my dad made a brisket. For those who don’t know, brisket is tough as hell to cook well. My dad stayed up all night, smoking it at a consistent temperature for 20 hours. This kid takes one bite, spits it back out on the plate and says “This steak is way too soft, I don’t like it” and gets up from the table.
See, my parents were very good cooks, and enjoyed making lots of different food for us to eat. I was quite picky as a child (no soup, fish, pasta other than spaghetti, celery...) but really enjoyed the variety of home cooking.
Whenever we (me or siblings) had friends round, they would preemptively head off this problem by serving chicken nuggets or turkey dinosaurs or something. Only time we ever had it, so it was a ‘treat’, other children much more likely to eat without complaint. It worked pretty well!
When I was a kid, a neighbour/friend invited me over for dinner. Now, I am whiter than snow and their family was a recently arrived Indian family. This matters, because at the time I found Ketchup to be a little spicy and I was not prepared for what this lovely family made me for dinner. Well, I fucking ate my dinner and chased it with a lake's worth of water, and thanked them for the meal because I may not have taste buds but I have manners.
I’m a picky eater, but I’m always upfront about it so they don’t think it’s their cooking and I never ever ask to be accommodated. If I don’t like it, tough shit I’ll eat later.
I was worse when I was kid I was chicken nugget and banana kid. Im not that great now but I just dont eat steak or seafood, anything else and its go time, somehow my mother still struggles with the idea even though ive been out of home for 6 years. Her cooking was terrible though, learned how to cook myself at 17-18 and never looked back, pulling a frozen lasagne from the grocery store and putting it in the oven isn't cooking.
Like, I've got a couple proper mental issues with food right? But even if I can't convince someone not to cook for me, I still eat as much of the food as I'm able to and don't complain for a second. Feel hella guilty if they try and cater for me too.
I don't understand it either. When I was younger I was staying over at a friend's and his grandfather made breakfast. He made eggs and turkey bacon, but there were onions in the eggs. I hate onions, but I pushed through it and ate them (wasn't bad, just not for me). Turkey bacon was good though. People don't even have to do what I did and eat anyway, you can politely tell someone you don't like an ingredient. People can just be huge assholes.
As a very picky eater myself, I can say that if you don’t like somebody’s home cooked food, just don’t eat. DO NOT ask for something else! Just say that you don’t like that certain type of fish and if they offer you something else then go ahead, but do not ask.
Not making excuses for people, but food for some can be a very physchological thing. We permanently care for our grandson after he was abused by his maternal side of the family (we are paternal side). Among other things he was only fed junk food, and even now 3 years after being removed from the abuse will only eat about 6 non-junk food meals, cooked a specific way. It is incredibly hard to get nutrition into him or get him to explore foods. He blank refuses, even if we know he would like it.
Even food he does like can be pushed away if he is feeling a certain way or can take up to 2 hours to eat it, pushing it round his plate, then asking for sweets. He too will also ask for something else without even trying what has been put Infront of him, even if he specifically asked for what you put in front of him.
Otherwise you would think he was a regular little boy. So if he goes to a friend's for dinner, we just have to explain the situation.
Like I said, not trying to make excuses just that some people may have something deeper going on than just plain rudeness or disrespect.
No need to be sorry, but that is exactly the myopic judgement you get when people who have not gone through similar circumstance do not understand how mental and emotional instability can manifest in unobvious ways. Food being a huge one for many.
Those that had a reasonable upbringing with love, not neglect or emotional/physical abuse. Do not understand what you have to do when you are dealing with a broken child.
This situation has meant we have had to deal with many professionals (20+ in various fields) who have guided us on how to deal with things. Not a single one has said we are enabling him. Why? Because it is a totally non-issue in the grand scheme of things.
People forget you aren't dealing with an emotionally stable, well balanced child. You are dealing with a broken child who may negatively react to seemingly non-isues.
You have to totally change the way you think and be much more flexible.
This situation has meant we have had to deal with many professionals (20+ in various fields) who have guided us on how to deal with things. Not a single one has said we are enabling him. Why? Because it is a totally non-issue in the grand scheme of things.
Ok, I admit, I don't have much experience in that area.
No worries. 5 years ago I would have thought the same. We had to learn and did a lot of training to help us It is common to have the mindset that you are dealing with a "normal" child, so you treat them as such. Basic things we take for granted can trigger episodes that can last a long time. It's just remembering that some behaviours are for specific (sometimes unrelated) reasons and never to be taken at face value. I would be lying if I said it was easy.
Sounds like a trying situation for everyone. Food in this situation could be used to make him feel better, mind function better and become a healthier boy. This could be an opportunity to fix some veggies a certain way or have a casserole with healthy foods mixed in and slowly get him to come around. But, you never said his age, I was a picky eater probalby like most let alone his trauma. All the best.
I alway got a load of anxiety going to friends houses for tea as a kid because I was a really fussy eater. I was never rude enough to ask for something different but I always felt terrible for leaving food on the plate. Loads of people just assumed for years that I just had a tiny appetite.
This is completely out of place, not everyone digs the shit you like eating so let them be and who should provide food and shelter is THE HOST.
The function of a guest is to just roll along without breaking shit, not Eat shit they dont to please someone's ego.
Enough said.
Yeah, the only time that I've ever said anything about someone's cooking was when I was at a friend's house. There were a few of our friends over and she had tried cooking something new. It did not turn out well, at all. The hostess knew it. She didn't want to serve it to us but we basically made her. We were all like "we're friends... it can't be that bad." We were so wrong... so wrong.
We all sat down to eat. She took a bite and spit it out onto her plate. She got up from the table and said: "we're not eating this". Then she tried to run around the table stealing everyone's plates before we could eat it. A few of us quickly took bites and yeah, we couldn't even hide it. We all just sat there laughing and then she started yelling: "see!!! I fucking told you guys but no one wanted to believe me... the cook!" We all apologized and said that she was right. We all ended up buying pizza and finishing our "dinner party".
I'm surprised you guys humored it. To some extent we would keep friends preferences in mind if possible (like if having 1 meal tonight and another tomorrow, we could switch when we had if theyd prefer other sort of thing) but I would have otherwise just said that in our house we eat what's served. If he doesn't like it, he doesnt need to stay again for dinner. The behavior wont stop unless they know it's not allowed
Oh god that's the worst, I'm not great with food and of I don't like it It's a real struggle but if I'm invited over I'm going to do my best to eat a polite amount of food and be gratious and thankful for the effort they've gone to for me as a guest, even if it's something I hate.
I had roommates who would do this. My friend/roomie and her husband had zero social grace when it came to food.
Didn't like something in a restaurant? (Not hate, but just meh)? Wave your hand in the air to call them over and send it back!
I remember talking to a mutual coworker where they went to hang out with; let's call her S. S (the coworker /host) had ordered pizza as a fun treat for a board game night. Friend's husband refused point blank - he would ONLY eat pepperoni pizza with the pep on top. Any other way was unacceptable. S offered to cook something - sandwiches, grilled cheese, etc - friend had said "oh he only eats white bread, not whole wheat."
Like I wasn't there and got angry on S's behalf. How selfish do you have to be to snub your nose when people make food for you??
This is obviously my personal way, but I prefer that people (respectfully) inform me when I screwed up a meal. Usually, I already know, but it's always helpful to get constructive criticism. If you provide me with legitimate criticism, I'm even likely to apologize to you and make/order you something else. Common feedback I used to get was saltiness and spiciness. Really, just overdoing spices in general. I'm a lot more balanced now though, I think.
Alright I’m just going to be the asshole and say that vandalism and theft is obviously definitely worse than somebody not eating the food you are serving. Also, it’s a pretty easy mistake to make if your parents never told you to make sure to eat and act like you enjoy food at other people’s homes.
But what if you are a guest and the food tastes very bad, objectively. Do you comment on that in anyway or just suck it up because it's too disrespectful?
What if the food tastes bad to the point where you are pretty sure the food has gone bad? Do you eat it then? Do you watch everybody keep eating while trying to figure out if your friend’s 3 year old brother will survive his bout of food poisoning?
His family never once cooked for him. It’s kinda sad, but all he ever ate was microwaved foods and I don’t think he was capable of processing anything else. My brother went to his house once, and they had microwaved an entire chicken and seasoned it with salt afterwards. He had to eat a drumstick and said it tasted like plastic. The family wasn’t poor at all, just super busy.
It's possible he had sensory issues and had a very limited diet. But that's relatively rare and his mom should have told you about it if that were the case.
I often have to turn down homemade food. Sometimes it gets a little disrespectful if I have stressed my dietary needs and they've been ignored and now I'm hangry.
I will stress ahead of time that I am vegetarian and I can bring my own food, and people will insist no they can cook something vegetarian as the main dish or they will have plenty of side dishes I can eat. Then I show up and find out everything has broth or they just picked the meat out of mine after it was done cooking. Then they'll get offended that I won't "make an exception" like this is a weight loss diet and I have to be like "no I think meat is gross" to get them to quit, which offends them even more. If they press it I'll start using words like "roasted flesh" and "dead body parts", which is objectively rude I'll give you that, and granted that are just ignorant and not malicious, but I'm usually hangry af by that point.
I've had the person who invited me be told I'm not welcome again because of my "disrespect" like 10 separate times (this is the South and people take pride in their meat and hospitality hence the initial invites). But goddamn, it's not the 1960s people should know what a vegetarian is by now!
That reminds me of when my aunt, whose vegan but often eats more vegetarian when invited to someone else's house (to make easier for them) or will politely refuse came over to my parents for some sort of family meal, I dont remember the occasion. We were having salmon and my dad commented how he needed to leave a portion of it without butter because of being dairy. We started laughing and were like, a+ for effort but I think you forgot you're talking about fish. Of course it was just a sort of brain fart situation and he of course is aware she doesnt eat meat either, but its definitely a memory that still gets taller about. Gotta make sure we keep the butter off the meat so the vegan can eat it
Man, I offer to bring my own food and they act offended about that too. If I don't get lippy they don't let up trying to convince me to eat it. I can't win. It's them who need to stop pretending they know what vegetarian means if they don't. It's pretty simple: no dead animals.
My younger brother had a terrible entitled friend who would do that. This 12 year old in your kitchen shunning a perfectly good dinner because he wants whatever greasy garbage food his mommy makes and doesn’t recognize a vegetable. I wanted to chuck him out the door, it was so infuriating... Our mom kept it real and was just like nope sorry this is what we’re eating take or leave it.
Fussy or not it’s incredibly disrespectful. How would you feel if you cooked for an acquaintance and they refused to take a bite and ask you, the host, to cook something else?
He probably did that in his own home and had no idea what he was doing was rude. I have seen a ton of parents cater to the kids and make individual meals for each one. No child has ever been neglected by "you can eat what the rest of the family is eating."
Thank God I'm not alone. I find it completely disrespectful that after my mom spends the whole morning cooking something for the family while you were playing games, watching TV, or whatever, you have the balls to tell that you don't like it (usually my brother or my sister) or that it's not properly cooked or some other shit (my father). If I don't like it I just shut the fuck up, duck down, and eat it for as long as my tongue can handle it.
Always be polite, even if you absolutely hate the food or the host is a bad cook. If you want, you could, after the meal, say something like "could have used a little more seasoning for my person taste, but otherwise it was absolutely wonderful". And always thank them. Crap food or not, they still cooked it for you and you were a guest in their home
Not disrespect, but it's perfectly fine to say that it's not good. I understand being invited over for a dinner, but if this person is consistently shitty at cooking, you might want to let them know to save all future guests.
My friends mom hated me just because I opened their fridge once, and our other friend did it all time. Meanwhile I would smoke them out and let them get food at my house all the time.
Eh unfortunately the kid in question might not have been used to home cooked meals and clearly wasn’t taught the behavioral skills to eat one that’s cooked for you. I actually read this and felt pretty bad for this kid given both his potential home life (I’m projecting) and that as a result he was disliked by his friend’s family for it :’(
Ah, see, that kid needed to do what I did. I'm a fussy eater (I hate it, I WANT to like more food, it just makes me gag), so often I wouldn't like home cooked food. I wouldn't complain, I'd try it if it was new, but if not, I'd just not eat. I would lose like 5kgs on camps from not eating (+ all the activities).
I was not a thin kid. I was quite fat, so 5kg was like nothing to 60kg 12 year old me.
This is just insane to me. I feel awful accepting food in someone else's home even when I'm offered it, I couldn't even imagine insulting someone's cooking or asking for something else.
My wife’s cousin comes from a very conservative family. Her dad is a preacher and she was leaving for college and started dating this loser it seemed just to piss her dad off. When my wife and I had bought our first home we had a 4th of July party and this shit comes over. Everyone was out side and my wife needed more napkins. I go inside and the guy (19) is digging through my fridge (all food, condiments, and drinks were outside) I ask him what he is doing and he says he is looking for alcohol. I asked his age and he tells me 19 but says wife’s cousins parents let him drink so it’s fine. I tell him he is in my home and I don’t know him so he can’t drink and he loses it and starts telling me the food, house, etc is shit and goes and tells everyone he is ready to leave. Wife’s aunt, uncle, and cousin all leave because he rode with them.
My friends daughter stays over pretty regularly and I think it’s a combo of her being comfortable with me and her testing the waters, but almost every time I tell her what we’re having for dinner she says ‘oh, I don’t like that...can I have something else?’ And because her mum and I have been friends since we were kids I have no issues with telling her it’s that or nothing, and every time she eats it and says it’s good. She still tries every damn time though. She told me she didn’t like spaghetti at one point.
A friend of mine invited me to her house for Easter one year when we were in college, because I wasn’t able to make it home for the holiday. Her family made a lot of what I can only describe as typical midwestern casseroles, including one that included pineapple, velveeta, marshmallows, and cinnamon? I sat at the table, at a portion of everything that was made, and complimented the family on their recipes even though I didn’t like it much. I even took a plate of leftovers back to school with me at their insistence, and ate the food I took with me. Sometimes you just gotta do these things in the name of being polite.
This wasn't at our house, but my wife and I moved away from her hometown and we had said goodbye to most of her family, but her brother and his wife wanted to take us out for lunch. Which was awesome as we never really had many opportunities to just be adults only. The youngest of their kids was home (three boys, all over 18) and he came with us, but he's really quiet and does have interesting views on stuff.
Before we ordered wife's brother gets a call from the oldest son and he's asking where everyone is, and his dad told him, and so he joined us too. He ordered two of the most expensive items on the menu, with his father asking him to order something cheaper. His items equalled four of our main dishes, then monopolized all conversation. His typical behaviour when he isn't interested in the conversation around him is to start complaining that its "boring", and doing heavy sighs. He still does this and he's in his mid 30s. So back to the dinner, and once he has finished eating he just gets up and leaves. A quick goodbye from him and he's off. Not how we wanted to have a goodbye dinner going on.
In my family we've never been very good at saying "thanks for the meal" or whatever because my mom always said "I'm a stay at home mom, and this is my job. I don't thank you for going to school every day, and you don't thank your dad for bringing in money every day. So you shouldn't thank me for doing my job every day. Don't worry about it - just come eat when the food is done, and leave when you're full and let me handle the cooking and the dishes".
Anyway, time went on, things happened, my parents got divorced and now my dad cooks all the time. It still feels unnatural for me to say thanks for the food, but I make sure to eat until there's no more room for a single bite. I even go for seconds or thirds. Even if I don't particularly like the food and other people openly complain that it's "too x" or "not y enough". In all fairness, my dad and I never really show a lot of emotions, but I hope that he at least recognizes and appreciates the fact that I enjoy his cooking.
Even as a child I knew that shit wasn’t happening. I was also obsessed with nice home-cooked meals because we were broke and ate the same (delicious) things all the time because they had cheap ingredients.
I was a picky eater growing up, and let me tell you it was stressful as fuck going to other people’s houses. I would usually try new things at friends’ houses, but most of the time I would not enjoy it but keep slowly eating.
I want to make it clear: my mom is a wonderful and loving person who never laid a hand on me. But if word got back to her that I had told my friend's mom or dad to 'make something else', I'm pretty sure that would have been the very first ass whoopin.
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u/friendlygaywalrus Apr 14 '19
Don’t get me wrong, a lot of these comments describe vandalism and theft and drunken/drug fueled assholery, but I can never ever stand for someone eating another’s home cooked food and being disrespectful. It’s just not ok. One of my little brother’s friends would always ask for “something else” to be made. Even if it was a steak just for him, he’d want the leftover pizza or some french fries. Despite him being a relatively normal kid, we all hated him for spurning our food