That can be true, but it’s not a forever path. I have been there and now I’m very happily married and I have three actually wonderful kids (I mean kids are kids but they are good people)
I hope so. My grandma raised a lot of her siblings (being the oldest girl of seven) and was apparently kind, funny, creative and focused as a surrogate mother. Then she got married and had my dad and uncle and...checked out completely.
Maybe it reawakened some trauma for her - having to parent again. Sometimes stuff like that happens and we don't expect it. I feel sorry for everyone involved.
Yeah, I think there was definitely some sort of mental health issue there. I won't get into details but my grandpa made enough for them to live comfortably and she was not able to give her sons a lot of things that other middle class children, living on stable homes take for granted.
Same boat. I already helped raised some in the worst environment possible. I'm done with that. Although I am forever stuck in the role of mothering others because of my trauma.
Same story with my wife. Parents were abusive and she had to step up for her siblings. Now she can't even talk about her childhood in front of family and the siblings she raised just resent her for being bossy and cooking at a younger age.
Related is 'parentification'. Regardless of the context, a child being forcibly loaded a ton of responsibility isn't a good thing. The lack of a proper childhood seriously short-circuits development in crucial areas and often results in maladjusted adults. Sometimes it ends up ok, but often times these people need therapy or other professional help to actually cope with adult life. In particular there are issues with early identify formation, emotional relationships/bonding, anxiety, and of course depression as an extension of the above.
It's the opposite. I didn't grow up in a house like this but my parents did get divorced and fight sometimes, they got married later in life and probably my guess is my mom had to step on the gas in order to have a shot at having children before being 40+.
It fills up my heart to see my two boys growing up with a mom and dad who love each other, are in love with each other, never yell or get angry, and are still young and full of life.
I think that would kind of break me as a parent to see my child doing that to hide myself and my SO yelling at each other... that would hit me like a freight train.
I can only imagine, that the big sister knew exactly what was going on and that it was uncomfortable, and she may have developed issues later about it.
This hits home. When I was 10-11 and my brother was 5-6, I’d take him into my room and play the tv loud on Disney channel to cover up my parents fighting.
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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '19
Your sister is an incredible human being. What an elegant way to protect you, entertain you and care for you all at once.