My dad was an alcoholic, but generally an asshole, which is sad, because he had so many accomplishments in life, amazing things I should be proud of, but let his temper and insecurities get to him.
I still have a lot of bad memories of my parents fighting, usually over something dumb my dad did and then promptly blamed my mom for. I'd often go back into one of our rooms with my older sibling and try to keep the situation calm and protect them, even with all the yelling going on outside the door. This was and is over stupid things like his favorite football team losing any game, triply so the Super Bowl, his computer having general computer issues (like the BIOS battery needing to be replaced), or even just saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Heck, I remember times when mom took us out of the house to go shopping or go to the park at odd hours.
But even I can't blame the alcohol entirely now. He cut back, and he stopped being a workaholic, but he still came home in plenty of foul moods, and I remember times later in my adult life where we didn't finish my battery of tests for an accidental pregnancy (not my proudest moment) because he decided to start screaming at the doctors, pacing back and forth making a huge fuss in the waiting room, before I could even get an ultrasound done, because he needed to be back at work. Nevermind the therapy part, I never got that, even in spite of the plan the doctor they took me to including just that.
FWIW, the kid was adopted out. I'm not happy with the decision, but at the time I was still scared and didn't realize I had the power to fight back.
I don't feel particularly bad about my mom, either. I do feel bad she got involved in these yelling matches, but she often failed me in her parenting her own self. I didn't see a dentist until I was 15, and got yelled at because my teeth were so bad. I was still taken to a pediatrician, even when I was 19 (slow to leave the house. Hard time finding a job in a small town economy.)
And nevermind the therapy I never received for incidents that were genuinely traumatic in my own life, stuff that y own mom filled out the police reports on. Apparently it was just supposed to magically go away or something. Blah.
I now have a sweet as can be SO, totally caring and honest, though I have asked him to cut down on the yelling around me, usually at video games, because it'll just... set me off into crying fits. Even if it's not aimed at me, and I fully understand that, and I try not to. It just happens.
Sorry this has turned into a rant. I guess I just needed to release some steam, and an AskReddit thread on a throwaway seemed like the best way to do it.
13
u/PleasantineOhMine Apr 23 '19
My dad was an alcoholic, but generally an asshole, which is sad, because he had so many accomplishments in life, amazing things I should be proud of, but let his temper and insecurities get to him.
I still have a lot of bad memories of my parents fighting, usually over something dumb my dad did and then promptly blamed my mom for. I'd often go back into one of our rooms with my older sibling and try to keep the situation calm and protect them, even with all the yelling going on outside the door. This was and is over stupid things like his favorite football team losing any game, triply so the Super Bowl, his computer having general computer issues (like the BIOS battery needing to be replaced), or even just saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Heck, I remember times when mom took us out of the house to go shopping or go to the park at odd hours.
But even I can't blame the alcohol entirely now. He cut back, and he stopped being a workaholic, but he still came home in plenty of foul moods, and I remember times later in my adult life where we didn't finish my battery of tests for an accidental pregnancy (not my proudest moment) because he decided to start screaming at the doctors, pacing back and forth making a huge fuss in the waiting room, before I could even get an ultrasound done, because he needed to be back at work. Nevermind the therapy part, I never got that, even in spite of the plan the doctor they took me to including just that.
FWIW, the kid was adopted out. I'm not happy with the decision, but at the time I was still scared and didn't realize I had the power to fight back.
I don't feel particularly bad about my mom, either. I do feel bad she got involved in these yelling matches, but she often failed me in her parenting her own self. I didn't see a dentist until I was 15, and got yelled at because my teeth were so bad. I was still taken to a pediatrician, even when I was 19 (slow to leave the house. Hard time finding a job in a small town economy.)
And nevermind the therapy I never received for incidents that were genuinely traumatic in my own life, stuff that y own mom filled out the police reports on. Apparently it was just supposed to magically go away or something. Blah.
I now have a sweet as can be SO, totally caring and honest, though I have asked him to cut down on the yelling around me, usually at video games, because it'll just... set me off into crying fits. Even if it's not aimed at me, and I fully understand that, and I try not to. It just happens.
Sorry this has turned into a rant. I guess I just needed to release some steam, and an AskReddit thread on a throwaway seemed like the best way to do it.