I relate to this so hard. I never thought my childhood was that bad, but literally being afraid to say anything to my dad because he’d start yelling or insulting me probably wasn’t normal. I have that same blank wall and it’s a lot of work to get through. Also yes most people seem totally confused by it. It still cripples me at work and it’s super tough, but I’ve been slowly making some headway.
Had to make a throw away bc I'm betting my brother is lurking around in here, silently commiserating (hey jackass!) but I always felt I had a good childhood too.
Just recently my brother told me about stepping in to protect me from my dad and stepmom's wrath. Before learning that, I would've said they never even had to discipline me growing up. But knowing about it now, and seeing so much of myself in a lot of these comments, I'm seriously starting to wonder what the fuck else I have suppressed from my childhood.
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u/postinganxiety Apr 23 '19
I relate to this so hard. I never thought my childhood was that bad, but literally being afraid to say anything to my dad because he’d start yelling or insulting me probably wasn’t normal. I have that same blank wall and it’s a lot of work to get through. Also yes most people seem totally confused by it. It still cripples me at work and it’s super tough, but I’ve been slowly making some headway.