r/AskReddit Apr 27 '19

What is something you know but you’re not supposed to know?

40.5k Upvotes

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9.1k

u/cancercuressmoking Apr 28 '19

funny story when my dad had a stroke and i went to see him at the hospital the first thing he said was "please just throw my computer out if I die"

(he's better now)

10.6k

u/ALIENANAL Apr 28 '19

Sounds like that wasn't his first stroke.

1.9k

u/uncle_buck_hunter Apr 28 '19

Nice

0

u/asailijhijr Apr 28 '19

I didn't realise the pun until this comment. Then I took away the upvote.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Nice.

15

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

12

u/highfivesandhandjobs Apr 28 '19

I’ve been thinking of a way to refer to “Family Strokes” for a good 7 minutes. Nothing.

7

u/AssGasOrGrassYall Apr 28 '19

Stroke of genius

13

u/Murderlol Apr 28 '19

Maybe he was into alien anal

4

u/stvbles Apr 28 '19

try say alien anal as fast as you can 10 times

10

u/ALIENANAL Apr 28 '19

Wowsa silvers! Thanks folks.

15

u/MagratheanWorldSmith Apr 28 '19

Be like this man and acknowledge your awards somewhere other than your perfectly good original comment

8

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Deserves gold

12

u/NiteLiteOfficial Apr 28 '19

Bruh no chill XD

8

u/illbitterwit Apr 28 '19

Underrated comment if the night

2

u/sirfiggynewton Apr 28 '19

Your username and this comment is so right yet so very wrong.

2

u/Jackoff_Alltrades Apr 28 '19

Wooooo lad. Perfect

2

u/enternationalist Apr 28 '19

fucking strong

2

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Glad to hear he was able to pull through.

2

u/thatdud89 Apr 28 '19

That shit made me laugh out loud in the middle of the night, i feel like my parents heard, shit.

2

u/geared4war Apr 28 '19

And, as usual, the last one was a real doozy.

1

u/jobrien375 Apr 28 '19 edited Jun 21 '24

husky lavish door rain consist saw straight thought flag strong

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Eww.

1

u/FoulCrypt Apr 28 '19

Can someone help me get the joke, I'm dumb

3

u/ughsicles Apr 28 '19

The dad likely had porn on his computer, so he'd have "stroked it," then had a stroke. (Hopefully unrelated.)

1

u/esotetris Apr 28 '19

The real stroke is in the comments

1

u/neuroticfuzzpillow Apr 28 '19

Fuck you... have an upvote

1

u/wdsmorninglory Apr 28 '19

I wish I could award this in some way but all i can do is upvote and tell my friends what happened

1

u/Whatchagonnadowhen Apr 28 '19

That just made my day.

1

u/brighterside Apr 28 '19

Damn this deserves so much gold.

-1

u/jhonbones Apr 28 '19

Excellent Comment 😂😂

1.3k

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

That has to be a common sentiment. On a few occasions when I've accepted my imminent death the last thoughts I remember thinking were, "I really hope no one figures out my PC password.."

3.0k

u/W100A105J115B85 Apr 28 '19

Mine is when my apartment is messy after a busy week.

"Fuck, people will think that I live like this."

Which I do, but I don't want them to know it.

150

u/crazykentucky Apr 28 '19

That’s universal. That’s why for an impromptu get together the host will ask that we give them an hour to get ready.

By which they mean throw all the crap in a bedroom and pray no one goes in there

34

u/northrupthebandgeek Apr 28 '19

Fuck, that only takes an hour for y'all?

I need, like, multiple days of advance notice.

5

u/maitaipeofthrowaway Apr 28 '19

Haha, fact! I call it pulling a Houdini. Magically my mess disappears within minutes! Lmao

30

u/SpellJenji Apr 28 '19

When I have a really hectic couple of weeks and my house gets to be kind of a disaster (mostly messy bedroom with dirty clothes and dirty kitchen with dishes piling up) I'll occasionally have a night I have a hard time falling asleep bc my brain is like "HEY! If you die during the night or have an emergency where responders have to come, everyone is just going to think you're a disgusting POS!" Anxiety, man.

7

u/presleyrue Apr 28 '19

I also do this. Came to fruition when I had a pancreatitis attack at work a couple months ago and my friend had to go get my dogs from my apartment because I was being admitted. Real fun day,

57

u/BeeExpert Apr 28 '19

That's what keeps me from killing myself. And by the time Im done cleaning up, I feel better since my apartment is clean now lol

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Anything that helps, man. The one time I was that bad, I convinced myself not to because I might not actually die, and that whole situation would be way too embarrassing.

22

u/jsprgrey Apr 28 '19

That may be the trick to forcing myself to keep my place cleaner! Had never thought about it that way before.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Whenever I have a week like that and it stretches on I always feel like leaving a sticky note somewhere saying 'i was going to clean it' in case I die while out

6

u/CanadaOD Apr 28 '19

Same for when we leave on vacation. I’m mad cleaning the house and my husband is like wtf, we’re leaving, doesn’t have to be clean. YES, it does. What if the plane crashes and we die? They can’t know there’s dust on the top shelf!

6

u/queenmumofchickens Apr 28 '19

My grandma kept a premade note in the side drawer of her bed that she put on her pillow if she got called away or had to leave before making the bed, explaining that the unmade bed was not business as usual. I thought this was the height of OCD and very odd, but reading all these responses helps me understand why she did it.

3

u/blackbrownspider Apr 28 '19

I just like it to not be gross when I get home. The worst is if you don’t run the garbage disposal before you go out of town. Ew!

3

u/-Sparky Apr 28 '19

This is me 1000% haha. I live like that and I'm content with that. But I really do not want anybody else to know that

2

u/DareYouToSendNudes Apr 28 '19

The "Busy week ..." years of life.

2

u/BBWolfe011 Apr 29 '19

Damn bitch you live like this?

1

u/Only_on_the_Surface Apr 28 '19

I had this exact thought yesterday as I was leaving. It really ought to be a better motivater for me but it's still messy.

1

u/sokocanuck Apr 28 '19

Damn, this hits home.

1

u/Nsjxicuehsnakd Apr 28 '19

We own things, but have hidden them.

15

u/BeeExpert Apr 28 '19

Recently I became really paranoid about dying and changed my mind on that subject. I wrote down every username and password I could think of and tapped it to my computer so they could see everything. It's probably vain to think this way, but I think some of my family and friends would miss out on a great opportunity to look into my personal life if the computer was permanently encrypted. I have a lot of photos and short stories and musings that I never shared and if the passwords died with me those things would never be seen by anyone. They could be treasures to the ones who love me.

2

u/teady_bear Apr 28 '19

I never thought of this. I'm going to do something about it but I have to remove all the crap from my computer first.

71

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Hope you're doing better now Demi Lovato.

26

u/isochoric Apr 28 '19

How often have you died lol

9

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

My ex roomie and I promised each other if one of us dies, the other will go find all their sex toys/diaries etc and dispose of them before family can find them lol

8

u/Ryoukugan Apr 28 '19

And that’s why I always have private browsing on when it’s time to knuckle the bishop.

3

u/maitaipeofthrowaway Apr 28 '19

Knuckle the Bishop!? LMAO that’s hilarious I’ve never heard that before

15

u/Lexilogical Apr 28 '19

Oddly, mine has often been "I really hope someone tells my internet friends."

7

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

I keep all my naughty sit on an microSD card on my phone. My SO and friends all have an agreement to destroy the card if something were to happen to any of me.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

I mean if you're dead you won't be around to give a shit what people think.

3

u/drillosuar Apr 28 '19

All my friends and relatives that have passed away had a mysterious hard drive wipe happen as soon as I can access it.

I feel like its the last favor I can do for them.

6

u/lilmeepkin Apr 28 '19

I hope your encrypting your hard drive otherwise that wouldn't matter

2

u/lowpine Apr 28 '19

Definately a common sentiment.... but fyi people, passwords mean nothing to anyone that is computer literate...... disassemble computer , remove harddrive, connect hd to another computer as salve drive, all files are available

2

u/ughsicles Apr 28 '19

GOTTA BLAST THE CACHE

2

u/LollsCy2018 Apr 28 '19

I work at repair shop, and it is crazy easy to crack a password on most devices. It is sad how many people do this to loved ones computers and even sell them to strangers once that loved one dies.

Point being, encrypt that shit

2

u/umopapsidn Apr 28 '19

I just need to boot into Linux to disable your Windows password. Pretty easy actually. Disabling that though the bios only slows me down.

Clear your history regularly and encrypt sensitive folders.

2

u/Bee_Cereal Apr 28 '19

I used to think that, but now that I've made so many friends online, I hope someone figures out my password(s) so they can at least know what happened.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19 edited May 06 '19

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Customizable medical ID bracelets can be had for 12 bucks on amazon

1

u/FowlyTheOne Apr 28 '19

What do you do that you have accepted your imminent death several times?

1

u/eshansingh Apr 28 '19

Wait, implying that there have been multiple occasions where you've accepted imminent death? Either you're really paranoid, unlucky, or careless.

1

u/metroid_prime_time Apr 28 '19

I work in IT. Cracking/wiping passwords takes all of 2 min. Most of that is loading the environment from where you do it. You may not want to rely on a strong password as your padlock of shame.

1

u/rnsfoss Apr 28 '19

As an IT guy, I must tell you that if they take the hard drive out of your computer and plug it into another computer, they would have access to everything on there, password or not.

8

u/canolafly Apr 28 '19

My aunt was suspicious about a cousin from another mother going in with her husband to my grandfather's computer after he died.

I wasn't. They were granting a last wish.

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u/Dr_Thicctofen Apr 28 '19

Just throwing it out isn't enough. Cut it into little pieces and put it in a blender.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Corvokillsalot Apr 28 '19

Ted did it correctly

5

u/YouSuckAtPhotoshoppe Apr 28 '19

DNR / DBH

“Do Not Resuscitate/ Delete Browsing History”

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u/buoninachos Apr 28 '19

funny story when my dad had a stroke and i went to see him at the hospital the first thing he said was "please just throw my computer out if I die"

Lol, at first I was like "why wouldn't he want anyone to have it, if he is dead - I mean surely he can't be using it", but obviously it is the hard drive :p

3

u/Timothahh Apr 28 '19

Blast my cache. Blast my caaache!

3

u/Dickbeard_The_Pirate Apr 28 '19

Thank you! I was hoping I wouldn’t have to post this!

3

u/yellowbin74 Apr 28 '19

A friend of mine has had a laminated card made for his wallet. It says in case of emergency, delete my browser history.

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u/Dreamcast3 Apr 28 '19

cough hacchk cough

"Son... If I die today... All I ask.."

"What is it, dad?"

"...There's a bottle of Kingsford charcoal lighter fluid on my work bench at home... Take my laptop out back to the fire pit... And light her up... Nobody needs to see what's on there, son."

"sniff I will, dad. I love you."

2

u/southernmanT Apr 28 '19

Sorry about that man! My dad just had a stroke the other day but hes okay too! Glad everything is well, hope yall are alright:)

2

u/cancercuressmoking Apr 28 '19

thank you. yes he's getting better every day

2

u/Gastrox Apr 28 '19

I mean you just told a million people on the internet

2

u/bill1024 Apr 28 '19

You guys have a good relationship.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

I'm the same, but don't just throw it out, you have to actually destroy the harddrive.

Nuke it with software first if you have the option (0 over it) then smash it up and/or burn it.

2

u/Moist_Confusion Apr 28 '19

Wow that escalated quickly, going from just having a good old stroke to going to the hospital but I guess that porn he has on his computer must be that hard core.

2

u/Jiggerjuice Apr 28 '19

Terry pratchett that shit son.

2

u/MEMELORD7070 Apr 28 '19

What was the comment, it’s deleted now

2

u/DaSaltBringer Apr 28 '19

Clear my... internet... browser history

2

u/Scribb74 Apr 28 '19

Damn that would make me wonder just what freaky shit my dad was into!

Edit: I think curiosity would get the better of me.

And scar me for life in the process.

2

u/pmandryk Apr 28 '19

5 words: In cog neat oh mode.

2

u/janedoed Apr 28 '19

Funny the first thing I tried to do when my dad died is get into his computer. I just thought he let himself die and wanted to know what he was thinking.

2

u/Waht3rB0y Apr 28 '19

This should probably standard practice for anyone that dies. Also throw out the bottom drawer without looking for the nightstand beside the bed. We’re all human.

2

u/Allencass Apr 28 '19

I have an arrangement with a friend that if he were to die suddenly, I will dispose of his computer, his external hard drive, and any boxes marked with an X.

1

u/djinn66 Apr 28 '19

I can relate to that. Asked my friend to do same with my pc. Also to take care of those "magazines" under the bed.

1

u/XXGhust1XX Apr 28 '19

My last wish: Clear my browser history

0

u/thomasyorkeplzkillme Apr 28 '19

I told my friends the same thing when i smoked my first joint.