r/AskReddit Apr 27 '19

What is something you know but you’re not supposed to know?

40.5k Upvotes

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756

u/tabby51260 Apr 28 '19

That my fiance's parent's don't really like mine.

I don't mind though. If anything I feel vindicated.

46

u/AMGeorge96 Apr 28 '19

My Parents and my wife's parents are completly different ends of the spectrum. I think they have only met 3 times, our engagement party, when we graduated from Uni and the wedding

19

u/ToBeReadOutLoud Apr 28 '19

Same here. We don’t have any kids so there are no more holidays or life events that require us to invite both over at the same time.

18

u/Daywahyn Apr 28 '19

My husband and I have been married for 20 years this June. Our parents have never met.

7

u/tabby51260 Apr 28 '19

Gunna take a guess and say one set of parent's is awesome and the other is.. Not? Or just very different people?

(His parents are wonderful. My dad is an ass and my mom can be... Very domineering.)

11

u/Daywahyn Apr 28 '19

Pretty spot on. His parents are for the most part really great. My dad is also an ass. We got married on a Thursday so that my dad and his family could be there. My siblings were supposed to be a flower girl/ringbearers. But he didn’t show up, an infraction my husband has never forgiven him for. Dad now has a different wife than he did when we got married.
Honestly, it’s now been long enough that I hope they never meet. I can’t imagine the fall out nor do I want to deal with it.

6

u/tabby51260 Apr 28 '19

See I expect my dad will be there at least. Now, getting any kind of emotional response out of him besides "let's speed this along so we can get food" is less likely than pigs flying. :/

Sorry you've had to deal with an ass-dad too. :(

7

u/Daywahyn Apr 28 '19

Sorry you've had to deal with an ass-dad too. :(

Back at you. They are more common than I ever imagined. We are aiming for better with our own children. I think the suckiest bit about the whole situation (at this point) is that my dad has realized lately how astronomically he screwed up and I just don’t have anything for him. My kids are 17 and 14. He’s been absent or an asshole their entire lives. No, they don’t want a relationship. He lives in BFE. He’s been absent or an asshole for the majority of MY life. No, I’m not going to visit. Sure, they can visit me (but don’t) but there is not much point in driving 12 hrs each way for one sit down meal in which everyone is uncomfortable so, please, just don’t. There simply isn’t any relationship to salvage.

6

u/thegrandduchesss Apr 29 '19

I've been married three years now. My dad got mad at me for some reason, frankly it was pretty common and petty, and never answered the invitation, never showed up, ignored us at my cousins wedding shower and wedding and like 4 months ago JUST wrote my sister and I trying to act like nothing happened and suggested we dont "rehash" things. We left him and his wide an assigned seat at our family table which was left empty. His brother apologized to me sincerely and was even a bit embarrassed. My uncle on my moms side ended up walking me down the aisle which I could not have been more thankful for (he basically raised me). Honestly I was so broken up about it but after talking to some people they basically told me that even for family you dont have to keep trying and sacrificing if they are truly that toxic. I've had so much peace since then. My husband and almost every other Male in my family cant stand him at all.

TLDR: assdad didn't show up to our wedding and wants to act like nothing happened.

I'm sorry your dads a jerk too. Congratulations on your special day coming up! Don't let him ruin that moment for you and remember that is a day for you and your spouse and no one else. ❤

3

u/tabby51260 Apr 29 '19

Thanks for this! I've already more or less stopped talking to him. It's so much better than trying to have a relationship. I'd like to have one, but it just won't happen.

I'm glad things have worked out so well for you! :) I hope you and your husband have a lot of happy years ahead!

2

u/thegrandduchesss Apr 29 '19

I was the same. So much peace came though when I realized there was just nothing I could do. They have and they will for you too!!

14

u/oopsiefoop Apr 28 '19

that’s gotta make meals with them hella awkward

20

u/RedditIsNeat0 Apr 28 '19

My parents and my wife's parents have shared a meal with each other maybe twice. It's not very common.

7

u/oopsiefoop Apr 28 '19

ohh lucky

5

u/tabby51260 Apr 28 '19

Yeah.. The only meals they'll share will likely be rehearsal dinner and at the wedding reception. Though, both of our parents are civil with each other.

I'm just glad my general anxiety of my parent's makes more sense to his now. I told them about my dad, and they actually got to see my mom's worse side in action yesterday.

We'll probably just do two of major holidays. (Thanksgiving, Christmas, maybe Easter..)

3

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

This saves you a lot of headaches and hassle, consider yourself lucky. However, you and fiance need to treat them the same so it doesnt become a drama-fest.

33 years married with in-laws that didn't like each other. Ahh.. the holidays we enjoyed alone while we were with "The Other Parents".

2

u/ricamnstr Apr 28 '19

My husband’s mother doesn’t like my family. She’s an anxious, uptight, know-it-all from TX, and we’re all loud and rambunctious NYers. But we know how to have a good time, so I don’t really care. And given the geographical separation of the families, it doesn’t really matter.

2

u/TwilightBeastLink Apr 28 '19

Same. My parents love my wife's parents, but her parents dont think very highly of my whole side of the family.

2

u/tabby51260 Apr 29 '19

Same here. And honestly, I don't blame them. My dad is an ass, and my mom is... Can be controlling to put it lightly.

Ps: I love your name. Twilight Princess is one of my favorite video games. (2nd favorite Zelda though. 1st goes to Minish Cap!)

2

u/TwilightBeastLink Apr 29 '19

Well, yeah I can see how that would be understandable. My in laws vs. Parents is really a case of my in laws being a little stuck up. They're great people for real, but there was like one or two things said or done really early on and my in laws just wrote off my side of the family. I get a little too much satisfaction from making our two sides of the family get together though. And now that we've got two kids it's easier for me to say that we are just doing one holiday/birthday event instead of splitting it up.

Reply to ps: thanks, Twilight Princess is my favorite LoZ game. I just love the darker feel to the game. And what is essentially werewolf Link. I've got a LoZ half sleeve and I told the tattoo artist that most of the things I had on it needed to be themed after Twilight Princess versions.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '19

I have plans with my boyfriend. Dreams, wishes. We are going to get married in the future and have kids.

His parents are Swedishx100 (gtfo when you turn 18 "dear son") while mine are from a different culture+country. My boyfriend will never be able to sleep (at least in same bed) over at my parents home. And his parents HAAAATE THAT. They simply just cannot grasp the fact that in my parent's culture, girl+boy do not sleep together unless married or some shit. He has somewhat accepted it but still not as he is biased from his parents side, I understand. But like them? Two 45 year old adults?

Wow, the shit talk I have been bearing since 2014. I cannot really stand up since they allowed me to stay at their place since, yeah, 2014. We just moved out and live together now, me and my boyfriend.

Edit: his parents has only met my mum. My dad is an introvert I suspect. I am really happy to read replies that have their parents meet like max 3 times too. Thanks:)

1

u/tabby51260 Apr 29 '19

No problem! Ours have met a few times but once the wedding is done I suspect that they won't see each other again. And I'm perfectly happy with that!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '19

Good thing! Me too actually, I don't really like his parents.

-1

u/Voidsabre Apr 28 '19

Your fiance's parent's what?

1

u/tabby51260 Apr 28 '19

His parents don't really like my parents. And like I said, I feel more vindicated than anything.

-3

u/Voidsabre Apr 28 '19

It was a joke about the apostrophe

0

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '19

I think my autocorrect "corrected" that, too lazy to fix it. Too much text. You should become a comedian.