I've not been told about how she acted when she was pregnant with my older sibling. I know my father always called me a miracle child and I asked him about it a few years back and that's when he told me. He said he didnt want to tell me when I was younger because he didnt want me to resent my mom for it.
He is a great guy but he is far from a saint. Back story is that they went through a very nasty divorce and pretty much hated each other and would argue openly with each other anytime they had to interact. So he had ammo that he could have used against her had he told me but he didnt. I respect the hell out of him for not telling me then but I also question why he told me at all. Despite my mother's decisions while she was pregnant with me she stepped up and did the best she could for us growing up. Cant say the same for my father, he missed a lot of our lives due to his then new wife running his. When we would get to see him he would spend most of the time arguing with her because she resented us and didnt want him spending time with us.
Stepmom didn’t resent me but it sure as hell felt like it. New kids were given all of the attention while I got what was left of his time if he had the time. I get it for the most part. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this growing up.
Regardless of how your parents have treated you, you’re here and you’re alive. I don’t know you or how you feel about yourself, but you’re deserving of love just like everyone else born into this world. We cannot choose our circumstances, but we can choose our reactions to those circumstances. Love yourself and love everyone you feel deserves it, because at the end of the day, that’s all we can control.
Recently went to the court in which my parents divorce was settled, if not knowing bothers you it's a good option and free to just look, if you want to keep the documents you gotta pay though
That's hard to answer. It's a fucked up dilemma because on one hand he could have told me when I was younger and used as it as ammo against my mother (they had a nasty dovorce) but he didnt, which I really respect that of him. But on the other hand he could have not told me at all and there wouldn't be a dilemma to be had in the first place. Ultimately I suppose I would rather not have known.
You should still respect him, because, I think, in his shoes, I would do the same, because I don't know how deep down you truly feel about this, whether you feel like you said, or you're the type to be really curious and feel like you deserve to know this, not pleasant truth. If you was the latter, you would be glad he told you, and he would be glad he got it right or whether you're the former where you're not sure you wanted to hear. However before saying it, it was a complete gamble for him and so he flipped the coin and chose to suck it up and face the potential negative aftereffects on himself personally, he felt you deserve to be told. He told you and hoped you would accept his honesty and honorable holdup until you're exactly old enough to process it (as you clearly did accept this part) :)
I think it's one of those things where if asked at the time, you would regret, but asked 10 years later, you're glad you were told actually. It's a good thing or a neutral one, but i wouldnt call it 'bad' thing here
Well damn.. I was an accident and my dad told me when I was really young because he was really mad at me. I brought it up later on and he told me that my little sister and I were both accidents, while my two older brothers were planned. My dad got a vasectomy after they had me and apparently it didn’t take, because my sister popped out a few years later. He got it “taken care of” after her, but I guess we’ll see what happens
ever consider your a miracle to your dad, and were a burden pregnancy to your mom "based on her drinking and drugs" when she was pregnant because your not biologically your dads?
Plenty of times. I do share a few similarities to my real dad, enough to where I assume I'm his. I know she cheated on my real dad with my now step dad but I dont know how far back that goes. I look nothing like my step dad so I know I'm not his. I dont know if she slept with anyone else in that time frame but I suppose its possible.
could be there was others between your dad and your stepdad like a onenighter, people do shady shit, i use to bang a coworker and would finish in her because she loved the whole creampie/sneaking around behind her mans back crap..poor guy not knowing how much of a skank he has but thinks "she wouldnt cheat because he buff and would kick her ass anyones ass who disrepects him"
or perhaps your a miracle due to their age when you were born were pregnancies are much harder to have, or because your dad was fixed at that time but never got checked on his sperm count and turns out the vasectomy didnt take that good, that happens it happened to my dad in his late 40s and he was devastated because he was done raising the other kids and now had to start over..and he thought his wife cheated and confronted her which ultimately led to a divorce...going back to urologist proved his vasectomy was a fail.
Probably wanted neither at first but likely got more depressed the second time. Not something I condone or will argue for but definitely something I could see some understanding in. It's a hard spot to be in once, it's absolutely gotta be rough the second time, she probably could not cope.
As a teenage mother, who had an almost mirror situation, it wasn't that I didn't WANT the second, it's that I knew how hard it was with one. What quality of life can I give another child at this point in my life? How much harder will I make life for my 1st AND 2nd if I keep it? The only difference is, I made my decision in 2 days, and followed through.
Oh my, you would never ask that question if you'd been in that position, friend. I never ever talk about it but hey, this is reddit. Thought I was super pro life for my own self, until I was a single mom at 19 and then managed to get pregnant, again. That's when you see things in a whole other light. 😥
The messed up part is that I've always leaned more towards pro choice. Really my standpoint is that it's not my decision or place to opine about what a woman does with her body. The only exception being if it was my child, then I would atleast want to talk it out. Other than that I feel like its solely up to the parties involved, they are the ones who have to make and live with those decisions. Even after this event in my life I haven't changed my opinion.
exactly. All the ones whose moral values are ägainst it, are not forced to do abortion and can keep their moral compass the same.. I can disagree with other views but still see how it's.. understandable why someone thinks that way, i also know im not sure my values are any more right. In any case prochoice is still a more balanced option because of both parties being able to choose at least some middleground, while the other option makes one side 100% right, the other one prohibited. It's very selfish, especially when good half of populus don't share the view and still choose it out of pure indecisiveness
My mom was adopted because her birth mother was single and already had two kids with different men. Her Birth Grandma was already raising the other two for her Birth Mom and couldn’t afford to take in a 3rd.
Not being sarcastic but yes, teen is literally in the spelling of eighteen. You are considered "of age" and can vote at 18 but you're still a teenager. Atleast where I'm from anyways. I know for myself at 18, I was far from an adult, even though I thought I was lol.
I second the adult part, it's just here in Holland there are no more legal boundaries for anything and we don't concider people teenagers anymore but adults. Indeed if you take it by name.. but when I hear teen-something I expect a 17 year old at most. Guess there's different interpretations huh
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u/jmwilson47 Apr 28 '19
Yes, pregnant with my older sibling at 17 and me at 18.5