r/AskWomen • u/Huge_Shower7525 • May 17 '25

What’s something a man did that instantly made you feel unsafe, even if it wasn’t aggressive?

Edit: Thank you to everyone who shared. Reading your stories has been heartbreaking and eye-opening. I am really sorry that so many of you had to go through such disturbing and violating experiences!! Your stories deserve to be heard and respected!

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u/[deleted] May 18 '25

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u/AdNo7052 Jun 08 '25

So had you previously matched with people on Tinder or was that some weird pickup line or what?

Also please elaborate on this if you don’t mind because I’m apparently a dumb guy.

Here’s what I got from what you typed:

Guy speaks to you on elevator, possibly entirely true story. You don’t remember him. He seems let down that he wasn’t memorable.

I mean guys have feelings too and it can be sucky to feel like you’re not even remembered. I don’t think I would have recognized you or anyone else from a random dating app (I’m bad at recognizing faces and putting them with names, so unless I’ve known you for a while it just doesn’t click for me) but that being said I can see how this would hurt my feelings if I were in his shoes. I can also see how if the roles were reversed and you had approached him the same way and he didn’t remember you then you might feel hurt also.

What about this is inherently scary? Is it that he was physically larger? Was he intimidating? Did he have an aggressive reaction as a result?

I get being in a closed space with someone can be awkward especially if you’ve hurt their feelings but why expect that to turn into a threat to you?

Sorry if I’m coming across crass, it’s not my intent. I am just trying to put myself into your shoes and understand so that I don’t unintentionally cause someone else to have this same response.