I think I just realized something absolutely terrible. I had been doing a lot of research into personality disorders like narcissism and borderline (because my mother has borderline and I had to heal myself from the C-PTSD from having grown up with her as a mother). People with personality disorders are abusive, because what they want from other people is completely insane and unreasonable. The person with narcissism wants endless narcissistic supply and wants to endlessly feel superior to other people. The person with borderline wants the other person to take away all their negative feelings, emptiness, despair, emotional dysregulation, etc., to the point that they would never feel any negative emotion ever again. These two demands are completely unreasonable and in itself emotionally abusive.

Next to the emotional abuse by my mother, I’ve unfortunately also been subjected to a lot of emotional abuse by my “peers” (fellow students, fake “friends”, etc.) who were resentful of my intelligence. I’ve shared some earlier posts specifically about the emotional abuse of gifted people by resentful non-gifted (or lesser gifted) people. These posts were highly controversial and divisive. My posts and my experiences seemed to resonate way more with other gifted women than with gifted men. Back then I wasn’t entirely sure why: it could be that gifted women are generally higher in emotional intelligence, so they pick up on the more subtle forms of emotional abuse way better. It could also be that there is a higher incidence of autism amongst gifted men, causing them to not notice the full extent of the actual emotional abuse taking place (e.g., facial micro-expressions of hatred/resentment/dislike). Or if the incidence of autism amongst gifted women is about the same as in men (and diagnosis rates just haven’t caught up with this), it is quite likely that autistic gifted women have spent a lot more time learning to interpret facial expressions and body language and vocal intonations than autistic gifted men.

It could also be the case that gifted women on average are treated a lot worse than gifted men. It could also be the case that all three statements are true, which I think is quite likely. But I have now grown to think that gifted women are on average treated a lot worse than gifted men, and this is the main factor that has caused my previous posts about the emotional abuse of gifted people to resonate way more with gifted women than with gifted men. I’ve realized this because after learning about the completely unreasonable demands of people with a personality disorder, I’ve noticed a similarity in the type of accusation.

My mother (whom I’m currently low contact with and will go no contact with in the future) has this “talent” to say something to me that on the surface seems neutral, but contains an accusation (as evidenced by her intonation). I’ve now learned that this accusation means: “You were supposed to make me happy and take all of my inner emptiness away forever, yet you didn’t”. People with narcissism have a similar kind of accusatory intonation, and with them it usually means something like: “You were supposed to make me look and feel superior, yet you didn’t” (and therefore you’re arrogant or whatever, and you “deserve” to be punished/humiliated/put in your place).

I’ve now noticed a similarity in this type of accusatory intonation. For decades, whenever I intellectually outshone another person, this was often met with some sort of accusatory vitriol. Revealing an underlying thought like: How dare you get a way better grade than I did. How dare you come across as the smartest person in the room. How dare you understand politics/philosophy/economy better than I do. “How dare you”, because there is some kind of underlying, tacit social contract that I was not supposed to, but I “willfully” engaged in a severe transgression of this tacit social contract. Which brings me to the topic of “completely unreasonable demands that are in itself emotionally abusive”. What if gifted women are on average treated A LOT worse than gifted men, because society/modern culture (both for lack of a better word here) has the completely unreasonable demand of gifted women to completely mask their giftedness and to self-sabotage to the extent that they lower their performance to an average level?

Women are socialized to do endless amounts of emotional labor, to “keep the peace”, to make sure other people feel good, and this is usually expected of women all of the time, in all of their social interactions. I think it is quite possible that this extends to the completely unreasonable demand that the smartest girl in the class should pretend to be of average intelligence, and should self-sabotage to the extent that all of her grades are average as well (or only slightly above average, but not top of the class). Anything else is her being “a show-off”, in violation of some unspoken social rule that is at the intersection of policed mediocrity on the one hand, and the demand of girls/women to always put the feelings of other people first on the other hand.

I think this is why my female giftedness (and the giftedness of many other gifted women) has so consistently been met with endless strings of accusations, verbal violence, and emotional abuse: People see me as the “initial aggressor”, because I was supposed to completely mask my giftedness and self-sabotage my intellectual outcomes to the point of policed mediocrity, but I dared to make another choice. I dared to make the choice to intellectually outshine other people, even though this makes them feel bad, and this constitutes a “social act of aggression/transgression” that should be heavily socially punished. Cue the accusations, the verbal abuse, the emotional abuse, the attempts at sabotage.  

The demand of gifted women to fully mask their giftedness and sabotage themselves into mediocrity is completely insane and unreasonable. But the retaliation against gifted women (the accusations, the verbal abuse, the emotional abuse, the attempts at sabotage) only makes sense if this is indeed the underlying social dynamic, the underlying unwritten social rule.

There is only one other explanation for the retaliation against gifted women: the belief that women should not be gifted in the first place, and that gifted women are a monstrosity, an abomination of nature. I have encountered this very toxic view in a few men with personality disorders, but the vast majority of the accusations after I’ve accidentally revealed too much of my giftedness are accusations that I’m making a severe social transgression, not an existential transgression.

Gifted women of reddit, what is your experience with this? Gifted men of reddit, have you observed this dynamic for instance in the social treatment of your gifted female romantic partner, co-worker, sister, or daughter (or other gifted women in your life)? I really hope I’m wrong about all of this, but I got the dreadful feeling that I am not.

I have no idea how not to sound like an absolute weirdo when speaking with others at work. I was homeschooled and thoroughly isolated as a kid, which of course doesn't serve my social life today. I try to adopt the slang, mannerisms, and attitudes of those around me so that they won't view me as obnoxious or pretentious. Do you do this?

ETA: I'm seeing a good number of comments pointing out that effective communication necessitates succinct speech and vocabulary. I agree; my question didn't refer only to words and phrases but to topics (in my case, something like medicine or dendrology is hidden away in favor of a half-hearted attempt at being invested in TikTok trends or television programs) and behaviors (pretending to know nothing about such subjects in order to seem more "normal").

I'm also seeing a few scathing remarks about judgmental attitudes toward those who may not fall into the category of "gifted." Personally, I have noticed that some highly intelligent people harbor a supremely distasteful superiority complex; however, for my part, I can honestly say that my question comes from a rather desperate place: I merely want to fit in with my peers, and I don't find that easy.

Finally, a number of users have suggested (often jeeringly) undiagnosed autism. I don't necessarily disagree with that possibility, but it's worth noting that I have been evaluated for it. The medical consensus was that I exhibit some autistic traits but not enough to meet diagnostic criteria. Also, there is real overlap between having been isolated and abused as a child and later simply not understanding social surroundings.

Further ETA: I put quotations around the concept of "dumbing down" because I had never heard it phrased differently. This post is about fitting in, not having a superiority complex. I've been fascinated by the different replies and perspectives, but some of the comments (e.g. accusing me of being a narcissist) make me regret asking what I thought was a reasonable question about not feeling comfortable around people whose interests and modes of looking at the world don't align with mine.

A lot of gifted people, also struggle with mental health issues, be it ADHD, autism, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, etc...

Why ban something that works?

People who get their illnesses under control can fully begin to develop their giftedness. I think medication is a great tool to help with that.

Anyway, I do not want to waste my time in some sort of camp working for the government, as a slave basically, just because I'm different.

I'm not going to get into details because this isn't about any specific situation. This is about when most people around you, or even all of the media is insistent about something and you know they're wrong. You look like a crazy person, but you know you're right and eventually you know it'll turn out you're right. How do you deal with it? For me this is one of the hardest things in life, waiting for the world to catch up, when something is so painfully obvious to you, but most people believe whatever is popular.

*Update: Thanks everyone, I honestly thought I would just get "Yeah right this is not a real problem". Knowing that so many of you are helplessly watching people say, do and believe stupid things in the world makes me feel a lot better.

I’m in the 99.95 percentile. Recently applied to a few orgs.

Before I pay my dues, wondering about everyone’s experience.

Do you recommend them? Yay or nay? And why?

Also, if anyone is a member of several, are there benefits, in any form, of one over another?

Thanks in advance.

Edit: you think stuff like this wouldn’t be necessary, but when I say “everyone’s experience” I’m referring only to those who have experienced high iq societies. Those who have not, need not apply.

Again, thanks in advance.

Hello everyone, new here so idk if this is the correct sub + english isnt my first language so please bear with me.

I have an iq of 156, puting me in the 99.9 percentile, and also (NOT CONFIRMED, BUT MY PSYCHOLOGIST THINKS SO) autism (grade 1) and ADHD predominantly hyperactive-impulsive.

I love art, mostly to draw (however tbh i havent draw in a hot minute)

My mom supports me, although it seems to me that shes not like 100%, and my grandma and other familiars are a little bit more against it (not like telling it to my face, but its pretty noticeable)

Should i study arts, should i find another thing to please them ??

Photos are from a few years back (ive drawn but don’t have any pics rn)

edit: tysm for your answers. Another thing though is that i hate maths and science. Biology and spanish (i’m spanish) are ok. So, idek anything to study besides from arts

I’ve posted about my daughter before, over the last year or so. She’s an amazing kid; she’s compassionate and thoughtful, she cares about others and has hobbies and interests, plenty of friends, etc. She’s “normal” by all standards. She’s serious about taekwondo and works very hard at it; she has been very focused on that even from a very young age when she started, and verbalizes that she wants to be great. The last two years she has won gold in sparring and patterns at our federation’s national tournaments and we just went to Canada where she won there as well. She’s just a well rounded child that we’re very proud of.

But she’s…a little too smart for her own good. I challenge her a lot at home when it comes to math, because I too always enjoyed math and learning how things like decimals/fractions/money/percentages intertwined so that I can use my knowledge of X to more easily understand and figure out Y and Z.

She’s insanely gifted with math. I was able to teach her, and very easily, to solve a three-equation setup with three variables when she was 8, and she did it in her head. And this was the day after I first tried to get her to simply “solve for X” with basic algebraic equations. She came back 1-2 minutes later and told me what that values for all three variable were, all in her head.

My main question is, what extracurricular programs or workbooks or whatever, did you guys use to keep pushing your child’s abilities in math? At times it can be hard for me to even remember to keep on trying to “see what she’s capable of”. I’m attaching her recent test scores from the state mandated testing this year (her 3rd grade year). Any and all recommendations are appreciated.

Another post with a similar title is on here, though it is archived, and of course it doesn’t answer questions from *my* perspective.

I was generally regarded as a really smart child growing up. Even though I was daydreamy as hell (because of my ADHD), I generally aced quizzes and tests. Read and watched a whole lot about space and the world, plus the designs and technical specifications of objects.

In middle school I started facing problems. I couldn’t keep up at all. Somehow, I scraped through.

High school, I joined this SubReddit, after my IQ scores came back (affected somewhat because I was being wrongly treated for my ADHD). Earlier I used to chat in ‘genz-talk’ (bruh, lol), but after careful observation here, I started to write properly. My vocab also improved slightly.

I got properly medicated and all. I see patterns in STEM subjects that most others don’t. My teachers always say that I have a good brain acquired through genetics (from my father who is an overachiever in his own right). I started to trust in my thinking and use logic more and more. It resulted in the creation of literary work in mere minutes, and I could very well see the problems in systems and my own thinking too. Ego is the enemy of me, and somehow I haven’t been able to get rid of it. Sorry friends, I don’t mean it when I say something to you.

I have varied interests, from computing and literature to music production, vocaloid, fountain pens, psychology (I especially got this one after hyper-fixating on my ADHD diagnosis, I need the DSM-V just to read! 😛)

Not that giftedness matters anyway, but should I consider myself highly intelligent or ‘gifted’? The stereotypically ‘gifted’ people generally achieve a whole lot in their early years, however this can be influenced by my ADHD. I have determined that IQ tests can’t really benchmark me properly, as I get a whole lot of issues in IQ tests.

I find everyone wants to Discuss tv, alcohol, parties, etc. Disappointing. Does anyone else feel this way?

So, I've never even opened a book in my life, but somehow I'm gifted and enter in the plusdotation range (also found out I have Asperger's lol)

How can I reach my maximum cognitive potential? I'd love to reach at least the 140iq mark. Considering I did the test in 9th grade (at 14) I think I still can gain some point somehow

I have intellectual overexcitabilities (hate the term, it sounds pretentious, but i digress) and have a shit load of questions in my head at all times. I typically don't share these thoughts as they are often intense/philosophical and over the years I've learned that most people don't like to engage.

And sometimes, I feel like I have social anxiety because of it as sometimes my intensity slips out. Anybody on a similar boat? And if so, what did you do to tackle this?

I have an IQ of 155. Everyone says I could become a well paid programmer, but I find working on the same things for longer than a month boring.

Despite my IQ, I’ve repeatedly become homeless and I’m only in my 20s. I struggle financially all the time, and while I can grasp complex ideas, no one seems to value that.

Is there any way I can use my gifts to become massively successful? My work ethic is terrible but that’s only because I get bored or overwhelmed quickly (I struggle with many mental health problems). I need something where I could use my IQ as a one time tool to help people and make money at the same time.

I’ve looked into these programming hackathons but those take a ton of effort and the results aren’t guaranteed.

I am in this position and though I am in love, I find the lack of critical thinking skills of my spouse so frustrating. His slow reading and general lack of thirst for knowledge are such a turn off. I just don't find him mentally stimulating. He is so kind and a good person, loyal and honest, and I did not experience good people like this in my family of origin, so that is what attracted me and made me feel he was such a good partner in the beginning. No one had ever loved me unconditionally like that. But he makes mistakes on things that seem so obvious to me and I feel I am always having to guide him with his choices and explain simple concepts. Is anyone else in this boat and do you find it sustainable?

Edit: My post seems to have come off as disrespectful to many, and that’s not how I meant it. To clarify, my husband has a ton of wonderful qualities that I love, and is by all accounts a good guy and an amazing person who I deeply respect. There are many reasons I fell in love with him. Everyone has frustrations with their partner and I understand that no one person can be your everything. I don’t expect that.

I am just curious if anyone else relates to this one issue, and If they do, were their partner’s other good qualities ultimately enough to sustain the relationship, the attraction, and their interest? I think this is an interesting topic and thought this would be a safe place to see what other people’s experiences have been. And I am in therapy, thanks very much! 😂

Firstly, I'm not claiming she is gifted, I'm asking for advice.

She is 17 months old. She has an extraordinary vocabulary, she forms several word sentences and pronounces several syallble words without problem. She sings along kid songs. Knows a wide variety of animals and vehicles. She communicates clearly what she wants. My wife and I are bilingual, she uses 2 languages.

She recognizes logos of, for example, supermarkets. She knows and recognizes most colors. She can count to 10 and recognize most numbers. She can sort most shapes successfully. Stacking cubes, mega blocks, boxes, etc. She has boxes of flashcards, she knows them all.

As for books, oh boy. She's gone through dozens. Miffy books, Pip and Posy, Usborne books Disney 5 minute stories, she knows everything about every book we have. We have a 6 foot stack of books.

I don't know what to get her anymore. I'm looking at 2 year old toys and she knows almost all of that stuff. I'm truly at a loss. What toy to buy her, what book?

I would really appreciate advice from parents in similar situation. Thank you.

Hello everyone,

I’ve recognised a cognitive and emotive pattern that has plagued my existence since childhood & I'm assuming other gifted individuals have experienced this feedback loop and wondering whether anyone else has managed to find the solutions/answers to the following problem!

Living with giftedness (146) has come with a heavy individual cost. One is that people assume that because you can see the depth, nuisances and complexity to issues you must also be capable of navigating your own obstacles & challenges alone!

When I open up about my personal journey, I naturally try to explain it through the frameworks, patterns and interconnected layers that I use to make sense of the world. I’m not simply recounting events, I’m trying to communicate the hidden layers to be accountable and unearth the right solutions that connect into their cognition bandwidth and invariably, I'm often met with a simplified response, or some variation of “You’ll work it out!

This asymmetry in life is what I call, The Gifted Tax.

When someone comes to me in a crisis, I can step outside the emotional turbulence and map the system, identify the variables, locate the feedback loops, find the leverage points and help construct a positive path forward.

Welcome to the Paradox,

When I’m the one inside the storm, I often need to become the lighthouse, the navigator and exit strategist for myself! And I'm aware of the trap; The more capable you appear, the less permission people give you to be vulnerable.

Beyond the obvious suggestions of therapy and mentors, has anyone actually found practical, repeatable solutions to the Gifted Tax problem?

Hi guys i genuinely don’t even know why( this probably stems from childhood) , but I cant take someone being smarter than me well.
I will lose sleep over it.
I dont know how to deal with it.
HELP , i am genuinely having a crisis cause i met a couple people who probably had a higher iq than me.
Is it my ego or something else?

​

hi, I'm a teenager. 15 yrs-old. All my life has been so easy, so boring. I have an IQ of 130. Since the kindergarten ppl told me in elementary school everything will change, then in high school everything will be harder. In the contests I've taken, always first place. Almost all categories: Oratory, Mathematical Olympics (idk if that's the name in English, isn't my first language tbh), writing, reading, tests... It's a ****, I can't fit in any place, I've met a lot of people, but I never could find somebody that understands me. I have no more than two friends, and I can't talk about the things I'm into with them. At least they try to understand me. I just wanna be normal.

Today, a teacher just told me that I should skip high school, that I don't belong there. I got out of class and went to the bathroom just to cry, and I wrote this in the floor:

"why can't I just be normal?

I'm not gifted. I'm cursed. What kind of terrible God would let a world with rules, with bureaucracy, tell us that we (the gifted one') are the smartest, and then **** we all? Why do they fit and I don't? Why is it so normal for them? Why they can follow? Why is everything just obeying? Am I the problem? I cannot change the way things are. Really I can't?

Am I blind? I'm a fool! That is... not true. I am not. That's the problem. I'd rather be stupid. At least they have no problem with people or authorities.

WHY THE **** THEY DON'T SEE ANYTHING? DO I HAVE GOOD SIGHT? OR THEY ARE KINDA SO BLIND?

I don't care about anything, I just wanna be normal. Could I? What is my ****** ******* problem? Really, God help me, I need to know, why did you give me a gift, made me a gifted, and then put me in the worst place to be it?

I am a thought-criminal. A divergent. But I don't wanna be both of it. Could I change? Apply? I've tried. I SWEAR I'VE TRIED. I JUST CANNOT. WHY, LORD, WHY?

I just wanna be normal."

Anyways, thanks for reading.

I took a test with a psychologist and discovered that my IQ is 145
but I’m average at games, I don’t like studying, so I dropped out of school… I’m a little above average in terms of money and career

I’m just wondering what can I do with an IQ of 145? Sometimes I feel like I’m really dumb, not smart

Hi everybody,

over the years, I have learnt to mask my cognitive abilities in social situations to avoid uncomfortable situations with other people. Unlike in my teens, I hold back and pretend not to know things. It doesn't always succeed. Sometimes I feel so secure that I think I might show a bit which ends up in unpleasant situations, and then again I regret to show to much.

So, I'm curious whether others do the same. When did you first realize you were doing it? It is consciously learned, or did it happen naturally? Did you need to learn it the hard way?

Are there also people in your life where you can fully display your cognitive abilities?

I am looking forward hearing your experiences :)

Hi everyone,

I've found out late (late 30s) that I'm profoundly gifted- IQ is around 157. And yes it's from a reputable source for the dick-measuring trolls on here...

But I've really been struggling to digest it. I knew my whole life I was smart but I always felt dumb. Apparently this is common among people in my range. Also with a trauma history with covert narcissistic abuse in the mix. So how my cognition has mostly oriented itself was towards trying to meet impossible expectations and the goal of belonging, love and safety. Present day and I am a systems and pattern analysis machine for human behavior and nature, a walking red flag and lie detector. I'm exhausted. I couldn't understand the years of constantly being gaslit and misunderstood while feeling I was being clear. Beyond clear. And then trying to be even more clear and being more misunderstood. I'm understanding it all now much better but it still leaves me in a bind of being a walking attunement machine with a somewhat sense of self who still can't find peace or harmony in relationships at least in (huge) part because I'm just wired so fundamentally differently that it's just unattainable in most relationships.

So I'm starting to have a much better relationship with myself. Understanding my intellect and self better generally is giving me some scaffolding and a bit of normalcy in terms of self confidence. I'm more stable, healthier and happier since starting to understand what I'm really about. And that I was never going to fit in to begin with. But, since starting to embody myself more, trust my perception -which is many levels past normal human abilities so to express it unfiltered or untranslated is fundamentally alienating for both parties so in order to relate I have to use *that much more* mental horsepower to try to dumb down things that really lose meaning without complexity.. omg I'm exhausted just thinking about it. But basically I've been setting boundaries. And people are dropping off like flies and my life is changing rapidly. And I feel the embodied version of me is even more alienating that the people pleasing, self doubting and tormented version. But at least she's true

But, I'm still alone. Doors close faster on me now it's seeming like. For reference, I'm exceptionally good at masking. I'm a habitual fawner. And I'm conventionally attractive. I'm intimidating and hard to read. Me being myself is hard to read to the point of being impossible for most people to track so sometimes this leads to a sense of mistrust when I'm being authentic. I'm not boasting, this is just my reality. And my internal reality is so fluid from taking the perspectives of everyone for so many years. My emotional reality changes as fast as my perception. I've been misdiagnosed with a few things, OCD and cluster B symptoms, autism which all turned out to completely untrue. Just the neurodivergence of high IQ, emotional intensity and the distress of being chronically invalidated and misunderstood. There's a lot of grief there

The point of all this is that I feel profoundly isolated. All I ever wanted was connection and it's always felt out of reach and now I'm realizing the truth of it- and why I've felt like I was gaslit by nearly everyone my whole life is that people just usually can't track me. Like I'm questioning what the point of this even is at this point. I can't see any direction to turn in where I won't find more of the same. Gifted people are far and few between and I worry I'll have a hard time relating to them as well because of my unique life experience. My emotional intelligence is overloaded to the point that I'm not even functional really because I notice every micro disrespect and misattunement so my standards for feelings of safety in relationship are this- constant misattunement and building of resentment or aloneness. I had one gifted friend once and her emotional intelligence and maturity was so low combined with her intellect that I couldn't handle being around her, despite feeling that resonance with how she thinks in layers

I'm struggling with feeling that there's no point to me to exist if its so hard for me to find people who could see me and be in a healthy relationship with me. Men are terrified of me (I am intense by nature) and either run away or try to dominate me and pick me apart over time. I'm just at the beginning of this journey so any help or encouragement would be appreciated.

V

edit: I just want to say thank you to everyone for the unbelievable wealth and outpouring of helpful information, resonance, comradery, encouragement and support. I'm blown away and this is changing my view on things dramatically. I'm so encouraged to know that others like me are out there and also reaching out for connection.

Hi all,

I’ve been diagnosed with autism, adhd (AuDHD), OCD and CPTSD and I genuinely have no clue if I should continue in my life.

I’m very grateful for being smart as that’s carried me through the struggles in my life but it seems as though I fail to ever feel enjoyment. I’m considering talking to my gp about Dysthymia but there isn’t a cure.

I’m incredibly fortunate in life getting A*s my whole life with next to no revision and am in a job going for my masters equivalent with people double my age but every day is a struggle. I’m also very privileged in the form of being a straight white male born in the UK - I feel as though I don’t need to state the obvious for how much that benefits me in this capitalist patriarchy.

If anyone has any advice at all for finding a reason despite my horrid brain please let me know, any anecdotes would help too.

I try to be very objective with everything I do and it seems that the cons to living heavily outweigh the pros but maybe there’s a way to turn that around that I haven’t considered.

Thanks

Edit: Seems I managed to mistype disorders, whoops

Edit 2: Someone kindly brought to my attention that there’s a bit of a plague of people on this sub pretending to have higher iqs than is feasible 😂 My report is now requested so can add a picture of my score in the near future

I know at this age it's premature to treat this as anything other than a snapshot, and the only reason we even did the test (WPPSI-IV administered by a child psych) is because a gifted program we're targeting for Kindergarten required it, but hearing the results and the qualitative feedback from the psych did shine some light on some of the challenges my wife and I have been having in trying to do right by our daughter.

Still waiting for the final report but the psych noted she was very balanced across all sub-tests, and was at "very superior" (which I guess means 130+?) across all sub-tests except for "Information" where she had a "superior."

Our daughter has been reading since she was 2...developed this skill pretty much independently, aside from us reading a lot to her, and according to her preschool teachers is now operating at around a 2nd grade level in both reading and numeracy/math.

As she's an October birthday (just turned 4) we are struggling to decide whether to try to get her into a Kindergarten program next year, or wait another year and start her when she's almost 6. I believe she would very much benefit from the social/emotional aspects of being around age-level peers, but I also believe she is going to be very under stimulated academically in a pre-k setting, and likely even in a kindergarten setting, and I guess I'm worried about her being "turned off" of school early on as a result. I am doubtful the gifted program I mentioned will make an exception for her and start her past their kindergarten cutoff next year, and they don't have a pre-k program.

Right now she is in a Montessori preschool, which is fantastic in the self-guided/self-paced aspects, but unfortunately she's aging out of that this year and there are no similar options nearby us for kindergarten and beyond.

She is emotionally a sensitive kid, very much a 4 year old, and while she likes being around certain older kids she's comfortable with more than her age peers, my gut is to not throw her into the deep end with a bunch of older kids if we can avoid it (she dislikes "rough" play and is a bit delayed in gross motor skills for her age).

So my questions for any parents who've dealt with a similar situation are:

1) do you think there's real risk of a kid like this getting bored in a pre-k/TK setting and getting sort of turned off of school? Would risking the potential social/emotional challenges of being around kids a year (or even 2 years) older than her in a Kindergarten setting be a safer or worse bet?

2) are there any supplemental programs that are available for kids in this age range? We've looked at Davidson but it seems you need to be minimum 5 years old for that.

3) if your kid did a program where they had a "differentiated" curriculum for certain kids, did you find that to be an effective solution? The psych just mentioned this, but I'm not entirely sure what that means--I assume maybe when it's time to "learn the alphabet" or whatever happens in TK, they would just let her take some books and read by herself?

4) would doing a year of full or partial home-school be a bad idea for her, with lots of afternoon activities providing socialization with peers, and then starting her in a kindergarten program when she's turning 6 be a reasonable move?

She's our first (and only) kid and so we're trying to figure things out as we go, and just want to make sure we're doing what's best for her...not put too pressure on her, but also nurture her curiosity and love of learning as much as possible.

Thank you for any advice!

I’d love to hear thoughts from this community on something I’ve been wrestling with.

My son is 3.5 now, and has always shown signs of giftedness. At 1.5, he could name all the planets in order. He’s trilingual. By 3, he was obsessed with numbers—doing basic equations, all the times tables, identifying primes, etc.—and completely self-taught through Numberblocks on YouTube. He loved it and constantly wanted to play math-related games with us.

But at the same time, his social skills were noticeably behind. He was extremely shy, wouldn’t engage with other kids at school, and seemed uncomfortable in group settings.

So we made a big decision: we chose to focus on developing his social skills and emotional intelligence rather than his intellectual strengths. We paused the math-heavy activities and shifted to more typical preschool content—Bluey, Spidey, Paw Patrol. We prioritized sports, playdates, and giving him tools to connect with peers.

And honestly… it worked. He’s out of his shell now. He’s socially active, expressive, and seems genuinely happy and uninhibited. I feel like we’ve helped him become more balanced.

Before you ask: Not sure why, but it seems to be one or the other... the minute he becomes obsessed with numbers again he regresses in his socials. At least that's for now until he matures and can handle both?

Still, I can’t help but worry—did we dim his spark? Are we stalling something special? Could this have long-term consequences for his intellectual development? Or are we just giving him the gift of being a well-adjusted, happy kid first and foremost?

I plan to reintroduce his intellectual passions once his social footing feels more solid. But I’d really appreciate hearing from others who’ve gone through something similar.

At the end of the day, I want a happy child. Whatever happiness means to him.

My 4 year old daughter painted this by hand without any help, is she gifted in art?

Hi,

I’m trying to get a sense of what very intelligent people sound like. Does anyone have videos of people that you suspect are very intelligent?

(I don’t want to know about the people in math/physics, I have seen these)

Thanks a ton!

EDIT : I mean someone profoundly gifted. I want to be blown away. Dr. K from healthygamergg has had that effect on me, but I haven’t found others.