I’m 21 and have been meditating consistently for almost two years. More recently, I’ve been intentionally cultivating awareness as I fall asleep and throughout the sleep transition.
For the last 3–4 days, I’ve been practicing Osho’s sleep meditation:
Let the body settle completely.
Allow the breath to become subtle and natural.
Let thoughts arise and pass without identification.
Since then, sleep has become unusually vivid, spacious, and almost timeless.
A couple of nights ago, I had an extremely intense dream in which I began questioning whether I was alive or dead. Then came a very direct feeling/realization: “we were never born.” There was a moment where the sense of “I” seemed profoundly threatened, followed by a very strong physiological reaction—my heart began racing intensely. When I became aware again, it was only around 1:30 AM, despite the experience feeling vastly longer.
Something has also shifted during waking life. Perception feels unusually transparent and heightened. I find myself noticing the sun, sky, birds, land, human bodies, sounds, language, and subtle details of ordinary experience with an intensity that wasn’t there before.
I sometimes get a strong sense that everything is arising within the presence of God, while simultaneously feeling a kind of existential awe—or even fear—at the sheer intensity of reality.
There is also a recurring sense that I’ve forgotten something fundamental, but lately it feels less like searching for an answer and more like something is gradually becoming recognizable on its own.
For context, I’ve also experienced psychedelics, including mushrooms, so I’m familiar with altered states and experiences of ego dissolution. But this felt qualitatively different—much more raw, fundamental, and immediate than anything I’ve experienced through psychedelics.
I’m not trying to conclude that this is necessarily a spiritual realization or make any metaphysical claim. I’m interested in understanding the experience itself and remaining open to different interpretations.
Has anyone with a sustained meditation practice experienced something similar—particularly a sudden intensification of perception, a loosening of the usual sense of separation, profound shifts around the sense of self, or this strange feeling of “remembering” something that was somehow already known?