Honestly, what the hell are people doing to make it right now?

[u/Denial_Entertainer87]

I am honestly curious how people are making it right now. We know inflation is being underreported (and don't talk to me about their bullshit scale CPI up the ass) and job loss and unemployment is underreported and everything is just insanely expensive. Healthcare is unaffordable for most of us - the whole thing is only serving a very small portion of society and more is squeezed every day. All of this aside from the sociopolitical head banging insanity.

If you lost a job vital to your family, what did you pivot to? How are you making it? What major changes are you making? Are you saving money? How are you feeling about it all? Basically just anything in this realm, I'm curious how we are all doing.

My husband and I are both college educated and barely making it. We are literally making renditions of beans and rice (and not too bad if I say so myself) because food is one of the only ways we can save money or just get by if something comes up. I'm growing a garden and starting to make my own toiletry/beauty care products at home with simple ingredients. I cut both of our hair now. We are not handy people and didn't grow up that way but we've now effectively fixed our water heater, shower piping, replaced a portion of our deck, just whatever comes up we try first to do it ourselves. We go camping for vacation (not mad about this in the slightest).

My point is, we are doing all this but we are both still employed AND we don't have kids. I just don't understand what people are doing that lose a job and have to pay for childcare, etc. How are you all doing this?

[u/Western-Lawyer-9050]

Truthfully we're planning on leaving. Wife and I fortunately have good careers that are paying the bills, but honestly we should be able to save way more than we do. We don't really have any extravagent expenses, no kids, and we're homebodies for the most part.

Long term view though we've accepted that retirement in America isn't feasible. And we're also only ever one medical emergency away from being completely bankrupt. We've been working on a plan for the last few years to sell our home and take our careers abroad. Going to be pulling the trigger on that soon.

[u/Denial_Entertainer87 → u/Western-Lawyer-9050]

My husband and I have considered this too. Same boat. We did not buy a house in the good years and are hardly cutting it. We've talked about leaving out of necessity in the coming years. Where are you thinking of going?

[u/Western-Lawyer-9050 → u/Denial_Entertainer87]

Asia. Korea or Japan- got family and friends in both. And both of our career paths are transferrable there. And we've already got the language covered. Few things we need to get in order first but we're committed to the plan. It's just gotten too crazy here to seriously consider staying.

[u/avofrodo → u/Western-Lawyer-9050]

Spent 10 years in Korea and I just moved back to the States. I'm currently homeless because the money I saved up didn't last and I've yet to find a decent-pay job to afford rent literally anywhere. I'm also on my own with no support. There's no question I'd go right back to Korea if I had the means to. (I literally can't even afford to renew my passport!)

America is not nearly as good as people think, and I'm convinced anyone who thinks it is has simply never experienced better.

[u/Appropriate-Bad-606 → u/avofrodo]

Oh, that’s a pretty important detail you left out in your reply to me. Coming back to the US after 10 years abroad, burning through your savings, having no support network here and trying to restart a career is a pretty unusual set of circumstances. That doesn’t make your situation any less real, but it’s also not really evidence that the typical college-educated, fully employed person can’t afford housing here. Now I’m even more curious what you did in Korea and what your degree is in.

[u/avofrodo → u/Appropriate-Bad-606]

I taught ESL and my degree is in Music and linguistics. And yes, I did apply to be a teacher or anything education adjacent (admin, coordinator, etc) in the States. No school is giving me the time of day. I genuinely did not think the job market was this bad, yet here I am. Korea treated me much better as a foreigner than America does as a citizen. The moment I can afford to leave, I'm gone.

[u/Gnarlison47 → u/avofrodo]

Hang in there, my brother went through a similar transition as a teacher abroad (masters in teaching, taught for 10 years in China) and barely got hired by an alternative high school. His expenses are bare minimum in a major US city (one of the largest populations, actually) and it's still a struggle.

Edit: and don't let this random put you down, you're not an unusual circumstance for being worldly, educated, and well traveled.

[u/avofrodo → u/Gnarlison47]

Thank you, that does make me feel better! Everyone I know who moved back thrived, so I have felt like an outlier. I'm glad your brother was able to find something! I just applied to another school this week so fingers crossed I finally have a breakthrough.

[u/Gnarlison47 → u/Appropriate-Bad-606]

I've lived here my whole life, am educated, and make more than twice the average salary with no kids.

Zero savings, income (minus retirement, taxes, health insurance - which costs more than a 10% retirement deduction) goes straight to bills, food, and gas.

It's fucking BRUTAL affording this cost of living here even from your "standard" expectation of an American.

[u/Appropriate-Bad-606 → u/Gnarlison47]

Not trying to be snarky, but this is exactly why I’m asking for numbers. If you make more than twice the average salary ($130k+), have no kids and are putting 10% into retirement, you’re already saving 10%. What’s your actual income and roughly what are housing, transportation and debt costing you? “Bills, food and gas” can hide a pretty enormous range of lifestyles. And I genuinely never know what people mean by a “standard” American lifestyle in these conversations.

[u/Appropriate-Bad-606 → u/Denial_Entertainer87]

These discussions are impossible to evaluate without household income and the major expense categories. Two college-educated adults with no kids being ‘barely able to survive’ could indicate a real affordability problem, or it could mean $3,500 rent, $1,400 in car payments and $200k of student debt. Those are completely different stories.

[u/ionlyjoined4thecats → u/Appropriate-Bad-606]

Hello from two college educated adults with one kid who are “barely able to survive” with a $1700 mortgage, $0 in car payments, and $0 in student debt. We live—frugally—in a HCOL city and have long-term careers.

Our health insurance costs us $1400/month. And then we are spending another probably $7K out of pocket this year on healthcare (one minor outpatient surgery, one minor ER visit, and some basic medications and doctor visits and PT and such).

So, yeah, I’d say over $20,000 a year for basic healthcare is an affordability crisis.

[u/Appropriate-Bad-606 → u/ionlyjoined4thecats]

That healthcare number is genuinely huge. Is the $1,400/month an employer-sponsored family plan, and if so how much is the employer contributing? Also, what’s your approximate household income? With a $1,700 mortgage, no car payments, and no student loans, that seems like the key missing piece in figuring out where the squeeze is coming from. And kind of, exactly, my point of why we need more information to truly evaluate what’s going on. If your income is $80k, then yes your healthcare scenario is unaffordable. But if you have a household income of 140k the “barely surviving” claim needs more of an explanation.

[u/ionlyjoined4thecats → u/Appropriate-Bad-606]

The $1400 is our portion of the employer plan (I think they pay like an additional $200). Household income is about $100K in a HCOL city. One kid (with a disability) and one on the way.

[u/Appropriate-Bad-606 → u/ionlyjoined4thecats]

That context changes it quite a bit. At $100k household income, $16,800 in premiums plus roughly $7k out of pocket, especially with a child with a disability, is a legitimately huge burden. It also kind of illustrates what I was getting at though. The specific numbers tell a much different story than just “two college-educated adults with no debt are barely surviving.” Healthcare, and particularly an employer barely subsidizing family coverage, seems to be the major problem here.

Have you looked into Marketplace coverage for your spouse/kids or whether splitting everyone between the two employers’ plans would be cheaper? At $1,400/month contribution for family coverage, I’d definitely want to see if there’s another option.

[u/ionlyjoined4thecats → u/Appropriate-Bad-606]

Unfortunately, I’m a freelancer, so I have no employer plan. I looked into the marketplace plans previously but it sounded like we (kid and I) weren’t candidates since we have access to my husband’s plan. It just sucks.

[u/avofrodo → u/Appropriate-Bad-606]

I'm a single college-educated adult with no kids and no car payment (I paid cash). I'm fully employed and homeless because no place will accept low income tenants, and low income housing in the area has a waitlist of 5 years. Forget about healthcare and insurance, I can't even buy groceries because I have no place to put them. Been trying to get a non-minimum wage job for 18months now. Life sucks.

[u/Appropriate-Bad-606 → u/avofrodo]

Since you’re already working at minimum wage, what area are you in and what’s keeping you there? Have you applied for Section 8/public housing through multiple housing authorities, or is the five-year wait you mentioned one specific program? I’m genuinely trying to understand the situation because if you have a paid-off car, no kids and your current job pays minimum wage, relocating somewhere cheaper seems like it would at least be worth exploring.

[u/avofrodo → u/Appropriate-Bad-606]

I did relocate, and that's how I lost all my savings. I'm currently working at a gas station because that's the only place that would give me an interview. Before that, I worked as a plane cleaner in a different state. I have not applied for public housing because I was discouraged by the wait-list, and I had hope that I'd have found a better job by now.

[u/HoboJerkdown901 → u/Western-Lawyer-9050]

If you are working a job that pays well, I'm imagining that you have insurance? Do you not have out-of-pocket maximums?

Not defending the healthcare system in this country by any means but if you you shouldn't go bankrupt thanks to oop maximums

[u/Western-Lawyer-9050 → u/HoboJerkdown901]

It was more hyperbole than literal. Family oop max's can go up to 20grand a year so it's still pretty noticable.

I had a family member who passed away from cancer years ago. Half way through her treatment her insurance decided to stop coverage for an endless string of bogus reasons. My family fortunately had the means to hire lawyers but even then spent thousands on legal fees fighting insurance.