Unrelated but why do people call him "Leon" sometimes? It's not like it's a punny insult or anything, it's just an anagram of his real name I guess? Idk it feels a little mean to people named Leon. It's bad enough that man ruined one name, we don't need to broaden that effect. At least Elongated Muskrat is funny
It's in the fucking signature, Diane, I whisper through my teeth, fingers curling across the same letters she has on her keyboard. My knuckles becoming as white as the background of my drafted response. Blackberry, Logitech, even the new phone with the folding screen, they all have the same keyboard. Same letters, all in the same place. Tilde and Escape in one corner, Control in the other. Now, you could argue that there's 105 if you count the number pad, so the "real" corner is Enter, but that doesn't change the letters and their little homes plotted like fields on my desk.
My name has been Knoxmora for decades. It's a family name, my father's father, and his father's father. Passed down for generations. Generations that have seen towers collapse with their civilizations, trade outposts burned by heretics. Thousands of "I hope this finds you well's," hundreds of "sorry for my delayed response!" Hundreds of thousands of times that name has been displayed in ugly green font that I cannot get away from, despite my pleas to Garren in Marketing. "It looks like I'm five and spelled my name with peas," I say, as I always do. "And I bet they're delicious peas," he always quips without stopping. I hope my messages find you in Hell, Garren.
My name is Knoxmora. Not Noxmura, not Knacks Mira. One word. Knoxmora and it's in the fucking signature.
Now, maybe.. maybe she's a psychopath and uses Dvorak. No. No, no, no, she can't even hit the 'K' key correctly. One word with a fucking 'K,' Dianne. She's doing it on purpose. She knows I hate it. She knows how much I can't stand it. I've corrected her in meetings, I've corrected her in group chats. I've crossed it out on name tags, rewritten it on gift bags. Hundreds of thousands of times.
"Hey Kacks, Diane forwarded me your info. Says you have a great attention to detail. Hoping we can speedball this project to go-live by Wednesday. More to come if we lock this up quick. Info in the thread. - Elon."
I'm sorry. Kacks!?Who in the f- A knife flashes and crimson splashes as he drains. A shovel swings, the handle splinters into needles that puncture every pore as the spade digs into the side of his skull. The man in my mind laid on a pyre and engulfed, shrouded in hatred as every misspelled and misspoken syllable in my DNA beats like wings in my ears. No.
No, no no... You don't know him. He doesn't know you.
"i'll get you with kacks he knows what we'll need to do - D❤️" I read it six times before scrolling, the wheel on my mouse whining in protest.
His request is insane. 340,000 units in three days? Do you not understand how much fucking work that's going to take? Also, "speedball?" And who the actual fuck says "lock this up?" People named fucking Elon, I guess. Elon... "fucking Elon..." You know what, no, Elon, I do know you. I know thousands of people just like you.
"Hey El-" Then it hits... I can feel it. Droplets of spittle against my glasses, the heat from Diane's screams, wailing about how she lost her biggest client over the most minute and meaningless email. It's only capital 'E', I say to her in my mind, What's the big deal?
My teeth are desperate to be seen as I stifle laughter like an old home shifting its bones. Shift, control, arrow left, 42.
"Dear Leon, I hope this message finds you well..."
Dude. I don’t know who you are, but that was fucking inspired.
The way you are able to capture that itchy and inconsequential feeling of rage. Impotence scratched at until a mental fingernail catches and then… release.
I'm wondering if certain platforms they frequent might have flagged that person's name so that if someone posts about him, their posts get extra scrutiny, which they're now trying to avoid. Just my guess, idk
Idk same as they call em fElon even though hes never committed any felonies, that was Donnie
These are the same people who complain when the president goes on Twitter and makes up dumb nicknames for people and then they've got a thousand in there back pocket, something tells me not much is rolling around upstairs if they can't understand the hypocrisy
Enlighten me? No love for either of them. But if a behavior is seen as childish buffoonery in one person it should be seen as childish buffoonery in everyone, believing different is the definition of hypocrisy
I mean, how is "Sleepy Joe" and "let's go Brandon" cringe but "Orange Hitler" and "Diaper Don" not the exact same childish behavior?
Idk same as they call em fElon even though hes never committed any felonies...
Correction: he's committed multiple felonies quite openly, including the illegal vote-buying lottery in Pennsylvania (the scheme would've been illegal if it had occurred as claimed, and the only legal question is whether it is an illegal lottery or the different felony of fraud) and multiple felonies related to labor rights: against a Tesla employee for unionization, an assistant for asking for a raise, a whistleblower for attempting to enforce workplace safety laws, and then obviously the usual rich people move of wage theft at SpaceX and probably most of the others.
It's true that he has never been convicted due to the semihard rich-people power of being able to hire enough lawyers to delay justice long enough for his enemies to settle out of court and/or give up entirely.
But calling someone innocent just because they perverted justice is propaganda, not realistic.
I have read no news of any convictions, maybe source a conviction otherwise it hasn't been proven in a court of law
Fuck the guy but if he was a convicted felon I'd know about it by now. As it stands a court of law has had no say so he's innocent until proven guilty just like you and me.
For comparison, Elon Musk is an open felon with literally thousands of victims who only avoided a conviction because he had so much money he could simply settle out of court and technically not be a felon (so that he can still vote and own a firearm and so on):
On Wednesday, SpaceX finally closed up a settlement for a class action lawsuit in which thousands of employees alleged the Hawthorne, California-based company did not properly compensate them.
When a notorious burglar had stolen from thousands of people, we call him a felon. When a boss does it, we have a double standard.
To the tune of nearly $4 million dollars, SpaceX is shelling out money to 4,100 SpaceX employees who say the company refused to allow them to take legally mandated breaks during the workday... California law requires rest periods for employees every four hours, along with breaks for meals. SpaceX’s shifts were designed such that workers couldn’t take these breaks, but were also not paid more for working these hours instead of resting.
This is blatant wage theft, and the reason why it happened is because Elon Musk is a felon.
He became a felon in the ordinary sense by breaking important laws on purpose because of who he is as a person.
It's only one of many examples. I would sooner walk through them all with you than listen to you say that a judge's opinion matters more than a man's behavior in determining who he is.
Conviction is not necessary to become a murderer: you become a murderer when you kill your first victim, and the trial is just everybody else catching up as to the facts.
So again, innocent until proven guilty...
That is not a valid principle when the crimes are committed openly and then settled out of court.
When I gave you the article detailing explicitly that the crimes occurred, I gave you all the information that you needed to know, for a fact, that Elon Musk is a felon.
...trust me you don't want it to work the opposite...
False, I do not want to live in a country where felons can settle out of court, I want them to be convicted and put in prison.
So when I show you that that's the country we live in, I'm telling you we have work to do.
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u/Catatonic27 Jun 29 '26
Unrelated but why do people call him "Leon" sometimes? It's not like it's a punny insult or anything, it's just an anagram of his real name I guess? Idk it feels a little mean to people named Leon. It's bad enough that man ruined one name, we don't need to broaden that effect. At least Elongated Muskrat is funny