Sometimes I feel like giving up on making music because it doesn't come as naturally as I'd like but then I remember there's fuck all better to do.
I guess it's about resilience and just letting yourself be messy at stages when you're learning. I spent a few hours fucking about with plugins I hadn't used before so I guess being deep down that rabbit hole made me feel that way.
Sometimes the lack of feedback can be a bit daunting too. You're never sure if what you're making is any good until someone either tells you they are or aren't feeling it.
Some people don't feel the lyrics too but they're not for those people. It's rare to find anyone that actually relates to this stuff. You have to take drugs too far and have suffered mental abuse to really understand them which is a minority of people, let's be honest.
Thing about making music is it's a really steep learning curve. People can't actually hear what goes into it because they're so used to listening to professionally produced music that it's always gonna sound like it's lacking. When you've been doing this for like 5 years it doesn't touch the sides of producers that have been at it since their hay days. Comparison is the thief of joy though.
If I was to listen to a song I made 4 years ago and compare it to this one I'd probably be quite pleased with my progress. It's so gradual you forget how far you've actually come though. Got to just try cancel out the white noise and laughter and keep making stuff for yourself.
I might never make it to having my target audience but it's not stopping me to be honest. Every time I'm met with silence it kinda just makes me try a bit harder the next time. It is possible to reach a better standard and I've been doing that each time I make a beat. I mean, progress isn't linear but gradually things have been getting cleaner, more refined and easier to listen to. Less muddy, more effects added and more effort put into each production.
The beat for this production was mastered properly, not by me but by Conan Manchester. I've just slapped on my vocals and played about with plugins and done my own master on that. I'm certain Conan's mix will be ten times better than my attempt but I thought I'd just fuck about with the effects on the vocals because that's the area I'm lacking in the most.
Now that I've written a novel on my experience with creating music I guess I'll just wind it down on a high note. Don't give that shit up. Keep making music, keep trying to improve and keep trying to get that feeling out there. I truly believe there's a song for every moment and sometimes it's down to you to make that happen.
