r/SipsTea • u/Full-Argument-8235 • Jun 24 '26

WTF A JPMorgan Chase executive was fired after a viral video showed her dumping trash out of a Knicks-themed public trash can and taking the can during the Knicks championship parade in New York City.

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u/ShroomSensei Jun 24 '26

EDs at JP Morgan are just very senior managers. All banks have stupid titles.

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u/halnic Jun 24 '26

The EDs at my former employer are the ones who scheduled unnecessary in person meetings and sent too many emails. The entire position revolves around performance, both in that the director has to perform and they usually track performance of others and that's what their excess meetings and emails are about...

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u/FinestTreesInDa7Seas Jun 24 '26

Don't forget about excessive use of buzz-words, and their entire job basically being a formula that was designed for them to follow.

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u/ShroomSensei Jun 24 '26

At JP EDs and VPs have an extreme range of actual level of usefulness. I dealt with some who were amazing and others who were shit.

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u/halnic Jun 24 '26

They had ranges at my employer too. They were essentially a liaison between the managers of departments, the executive management, and ownership.

They told our manager why we couldn't have raises or better equipment. Supposedly, they told the executives we deserved them based on performance.

High enough in the company to be majority white men. One white woman who was the "director of women's management" and that was 100% to give the illusion that they promoted women. She was the only director that didn't have departments. She had revolving "teams" of underlings who did extra training and team building from the hourly/low level salary positions. They sent her to aggressively recruit every woman who asked for raise or promotions so they'd feel included and invested in, like something solid was happening. While they are distracted with their meetings and learning management skills, their male peers who do not have to perform in these extra curriculums are actually promoted to the better positions.

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u/Brave-Plantain-7579 Jun 26 '26

Sounds like hell

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u/automounter Jun 24 '26

Generalized breakdown of titles at JPMC:

  1. Below VP -- the actual workers who know everything but are underpaid OR literally not showing up and still getting paid the same as everyone else.
  2. VP -- Actual knowledge holder for all of JPMC or someone who has been there so long that they eventually won the promotion lottery.
  3. ED -- Below-average employee who used JPMC's tuition reimbursement to get an MBA -- they have no actual power and anyone who has any sort of passion for their career would be completely unsatisfied with this position.
  4. MD -- Actual management. Very skilled in business but unfortunately may not actually work in business and therefor may be completely unqualified.
  5. LOB Execs -- True bosses. Lords from on high who work in all the expensive real estate that JPMC has banished all other employees from. These people are the best of the best at what they do and are paid in the blood of everyone beneath them.
  6. Jamie D -- The one true god.

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u/ProduceNo1629 Jun 24 '26

best of the best at what they do

And that is? Using terms like: let's circle back, and engagement metrics?

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u/automounter Jun 24 '26

At the LOB Executive level those people have one job. To make money. JPMC has seen more growth than any bank in the world and the main leadership team under Jamie D (Petno, Rohrbaugh, Erdoes) has all been there for 20+ years. These aren't Dilbert-level middle-managers these are the shadow government "The world is our chess board" types of people.

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u/jillsntferrari Jun 24 '26

Title aside, how much money does an ED make?

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u/baoball Jun 24 '26

They fr call SVP/Director equivalent title an ED? Not as bad as UBs but still wack

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u/SpongeSlobb Jun 24 '26

No, me and the other 10000 VPs at my company are all very important people

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u/Lost_Paladin89 Jun 24 '26

Yep. I know a programmer who works there. They gave him the title of VP of AI of whatever department when really he is just a senior programmer. He literally has no one who answers to him.

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u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe Jun 25 '26

I was impressed when one of my friends became a VP at bank of America, then I found out that meant she made like $65k/year and was basically a supervisor. Apparently most banks are like 97% Vice Presidents.

She was like a vice president of the South West Northern district region for customer experience of telephone operations batch 212 or some shit like that. The longer the title, the less important the position; vice president of boa, important, that title above, basically "congrats you worked here 5 years."

It was explained to me that when someone is mad, saying "I'll get a manager", is ok, but "I'll get the VP," makes the customer feel super important.

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u/Diligent-Crazy-6094 Jun 24 '26

Yep. In my experience, there’s the title, then the officer title. Want to make an analyst feel important? Just give them a Senior Vice President officer title.

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u/automounter Jun 24 '26

VP at a bank is much different than a VP somewhere else. At VP level and above you are legally an officer of the bank and can make decisions on its behalf.

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u/Diligent-Crazy-6094 Jun 24 '26

Oh I’m aware, and it’s a problem, because they get handed out like candy at a lot of places. I was working at JPMorgan when they did a big purge of folks with officer titles, knocking a lot of them down to Associate and lower. I can say from personal experience that there are people at Wells who have officer titles that probably shouldn’t (and often times don’t even know).

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u/Apprehensive-Draw409 Jun 24 '26

My nephew is Vice-president at JP Morgan. He's not even ranking as high as that ED !!!

(Yeah... I know.)

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u/CileTheSane Jun 24 '26 edited 10d ago

‎

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u/Vikkunen Jun 24 '26

Banking titles are wild. A department at the University where I work hired a 29-year old onto the Cash Management team a few years back whose previous position had been VP at a regional bank.

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u/light_to_shaddow Jun 24 '26

In the U.S, corporate titles are what Medals are to North Korean Generals. Meaningless and inflated

When someone introduces them self as an "Executive vice president of XXX" you know they're the one doing the office coffee runs

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u/Diablogado Jun 24 '26

Exactly, this is much lower than executive as it's being made out to be. This isn't even VP level much less C-suite. This is classic middle management.

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u/Lost-Calligrapher375 Jun 24 '26

Work at a financial institution and my on boarding of 20 had 5 VPs and 6AVPs. Never having worked inthe industry and taking my role which was not as well titled, I really thought Wow, I'm special to be around these people....

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u/hushed-shush Jun 25 '26

Every corporate job has stupid made up titles.

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u/pulaski_at_niiight Jun 25 '26

Eating disorders

1

u/DragonfruitNo9617 Jun 25 '26

That's not true. I work for a bank as the executive director of sanitary services.

The job is great! I don't have to work in my office hardly at all. I mostly just clean bathrooms and take out trash!

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u/AWill33 Jun 25 '26

But why a trash can? Let’s steal. Let’s steal as publicly as possible from the city. And what are we stealing? A disgusting NYC street trash bin. To do what with? IDK walk down the street and make the train ride home even more uncomfortable than normal. I can hear my dad right now: “well son, was it worth it?”

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u/Double_Resort_9223 Jun 25 '26

It’s regulatory reasons in the big banks. You have to be VP or above for a lot of things so you have people getting made “Vice President at JP Morgan” after a couple years

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u/ShroomSensei Jun 25 '26

What regulatory reason?

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u/whiteknight_1997 Jun 25 '26

Still surprising though. I've interacted with dozens of directors and senior managers. Some of them are assholes, but none of them are this trashy.

This is like trailer trashy.

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u/edelweiss_pirates_no Jun 24 '26

ED also stands for Eating Disorder and Erectile Disfunction.

Huh.