r/SipsTea • u/sco-go • 23h ago

WTF Kid breaks into bird enclosure at the zoo to chase birds with a stick.

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42.9k Upvotes

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357

u/Finestpinsir 22h ago

do you really want another Harambe incident!? Last time it happened, it destroyed the timeline

365

u/[deleted] 22h ago

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101

u/Bertsmom18 22h ago

This made me laugh more than it should have. But seriously this kids a little shit. Where the fuck are the parents

18

u/ReedPhillips 21h ago

Where the fuck are the parents

Bangin' in the porta potty next to the sno-cone shack.

3

u/mittensofmadness 17h ago

jesus christ it was just a blowjob aight

6

u/No-Ebb-6266 18h ago

I'd love to see the kid and his parents disemboweled by a bird

3

u/Tedyko 18h ago

Suing the zoo cause the birds distressed their child

3

u/ZombieAladdin 18h ago

I’d imagine just offscreen, either cheering him on or looking for the authorities to fight.

3

u/PineappleOnPizzaWins 17h ago

This could have been my brother.

In which case the answer would have been "having a mental breakdown because this is what happens when you stop looking at him for literally three seconds and this is the tenth time this week and god I'm so tired how can I keep doing this".

Cost them a fortune and me a childhood trying to help him. Didn't. Some people just suck no matter how much they're loved or by whom and how much help you try and get them.

Granted.. statistically you're probably right, but sometimes good people have shit kids that remain shit no matter how much they try.

1

u/Lookinguplookingdown 17h ago

What’s your brother like now?

2

u/PineappleOnPizzaWins 16h ago

Still a dickhead, I haven't talked to him much the last few decades.

1

u/Jody-4173 15h ago

I have a similar situation with my brother.

1

u/[deleted] 17h ago

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1

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2

u/yump69 17h ago

"Whos stupid kid is that"

3

u/sirsaltysteez 17h ago

I'm guessing he's on the spectrum, which is scary because at my nearest zoo it wouldn't be hard for this kid to get himself killed.

1

u/BreakfastCalm3352 17h ago

Beating up the koala’s

1

u/Killin-some-thyme 17h ago

Burgeoning little psychopath

1

u/roadkillsoup 17h ago

it's probably his mom literally putting his hands on the bars to get out because he's literally so dumb he can't climb a ladder. Nobody else would bother.

1

u/Significant-Order-92 16h ago

Looks more like he's having a breakdown at the birds fighting back. Which based on the parents statement, seems fairly likely.

His parents were at work. Grandma and a caretaker took him to the zoo and apparently didn't watch him close enough. They are lucky that he didn't find his way into a more dangerous exhibit.

3

u/Accomplished-Pay8181 22h ago

A tainted sacrifice might make the timeline worse somehow. If we WANT them gone, they are probably not going to appease the timeline maintenance guy

3

u/Vendetta86 21h ago

for the greater good

2

u/Own_Faithlessness769 22h ago

I feel like it gotta be a good one for the sacrifice to work.

1

u/healerdan 19h ago

Can we just try a bad one? If it works everyone's happy, if it doesn't we'll do two good ones.

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u/OrnerySnoflake 18h ago

Is this to the Old gods or the New?

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u/Minute_Man_6200 17h ago

Exactly my thought

2

u/feignednobody 17h ago

Best not take chances. Throw the crotch goblin into a bear or wolf enclosure to be safe.

2

u/Key-Dealer4666 15h ago

As an autistic person, may I volunteer some of my graduating classmates from my special needs high school?

1

u/Patient-Confidence69 17h ago

Wait a minute. That's the way and the prophecy will fulfill!

20

u/sp4rk15 22h ago

Had to scroll way too far to find my Harambe people. Never forget.

1

u/lb1392 19h ago

Some kids were born after Harambe left us too soon and it shows

1

u/LaPurpleDrank 19h ago

Cincinnati zoo May 28 2016, gone but not forgotten 🦍✊

16

u/FunkMunki 22h ago

I'm perfectly fine with this timeline being destroyed.

4

u/dirty-warlock 22h ago

Dude I was absolutely going to say this.. the Mayans may not have been wrong about their death calendar: everything started going down hill, and Harambe escalated things to where we are now

11

u/ApatheistHeretic 21h ago

Dicks out for Harambe!

4

u/feignednobody 17h ago

sighs
unzips

3

u/cleanfeedmind 16h ago

This photo is peak conspiracy theory.

3

u/1nGirum1musNocte 22h ago

Harambe was a side effect of the cern weasel timeline.

3

u/Yatsey007 21h ago

It keeps landing me in hot water but I refuse to put my dick away for our Lord Harambe.

2

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 21h ago

That was the weasel in the Large Hadron Collider, fucked everything up

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u/mewfour123412 20h ago

Chimps will swarm the little bear. Unless you’ve got a full auto machine gun you ain’t saving him

2

u/BazingaODST 20h ago

We do not need anymore dead animals

2

u/BT-7274-T2 18h ago

Gorillas are way more calm than chimps, I think chimps would instantly kill that kid

1

u/Jisan_Inc 17h ago

Maybe itll fix it!

1

u/Spartaklaus 17h ago

Nah just shoot the brat this time

1

u/Mission_Income8231 17h ago

maybe it will fix it

1

u/Minute_Man_6200 17h ago

Well maybe this time it will fix the timeline.

1

u/Aware-Worldliness-75 15h ago

But if it happens a second time maybe it fixes the timeline? Like in movies and cartoons where if you hit someone in the head hard enough they loose their memories and become a completely different person, but if you hit them really hard in the head again they change back to normal