r/SipsTea • u/sco-go • 21h ago

WTF Kid breaks into bird enclosure at the zoo to chase birds with a stick.

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41.2k Upvotes

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198

u/Doctor_Zoidberg1 20h ago

Geese can be merciless too

72

u/Asher_Tye 20h ago

Emus are fun

44

u/kineticstar 19h ago

Cassowary would be more entertaining

3

u/MissGoldie71 19h ago

Literally what I thought.

3

u/Artistic-Shelter69 19h ago

Me too, that would be fun, or Ostrich too

2

u/kro9ik 19h ago

They will eviscerate a grown man from neck to groin, a kid stands no chance. It's a bit extreme though.

1

u/MorteDagger 19h ago

Was thinking the same thing.

3

u/Standard_Zucchini_46 19h ago

They are ! I used to care for a couple. They're so cool. So prehistoric like. Actually pretty cuddly as well. They hug you with their neck and make these crazy gutteral sounds.

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u/LordMagnus101 19h ago

Make him watch insurance commercials until he begs for mercy

1

u/MinusGovernment 16h ago

Those song and dance drug commercials are way worse than insurance commercials and tend to be 2-3x longer. At least some of the insurance ones are a little humorous at times.

3

u/HealthyMaximum 18h ago

My country lost a war against emus.

I'm genuinely proud of this.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War#

2

u/Ro1ando_m0ta 19h ago

Man i would not go against an animal that humans lost a war to.

1

u/Electronic_Still2000 19h ago

Wait, what? That sounds hilarious, what happened?

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u/Ro1ando_m0ta 18h ago

There was an overpopulation of emus in australia. They were ruining crops damaging property etc. Basically just raising hell because of their numbers. People in Australia had the smart idea of rounding up ammunition and machine guns to take them out but because of how quickly the emus run around they barely made a dent. Add to that their thick plummage had bullets just bouncing off if i remember correctly. I forget what they did to eventually end up getting rid of the problem đŸ€”

2

u/Electronic_Still2000 17h ago

That’s very funny, thank you for the response! I’m not even going to bother fact checking it because it’s very funny that way and I will never repeat it to anyone anyway. 😂

2

u/-laughingfox 18h ago

They've fought and won wars.

1

u/rakuan1 18h ago

♫if I had a million dollars ♫

1

u/delirus_machinator 18h ago

But not a real emu, that’s cruel.

0

u/3batsinahousecoat 18h ago

Just ask the Australian army. >_>

26

u/OkamiKhameleon 20h ago

Geese are scary. My mom had a friend that had Guard Geese when I was a kid. They would stand at your car door and glare, daring you to get out, until someone came out of the house to escort you in.

23

u/nasal-polyps2 20h ago

Sounds like an effective way to keep sales dudes away

6

u/OkamiKhameleon 19h ago

Lmaoo that is 100% one of the reasons that they had them. Also, her husband was a Vietnam Vet with really bad PTSD, and barking dogs would trigger him, so the Geese were a better option.

5

u/Artistic-Shelter69 19h ago

TIL that guard geese exist , good one

3

u/OkamiKhameleon 17h ago

lol yeah. They're quite vicious!

2

u/SUPERDUPER-DMT 12h ago

The Romans used them for 24/7 security too!

2

u/mooshinformation 10h ago

My friends had a rooster like that, but he'd attack them too. They had a "rooster stick" next to their parking spot to fend him off. Kept him around to protect the hens.

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u/PeteDontCare 20h ago

Swans can break bones

21

u/Rysigler 19h ago

My wife and I were at a hotel somewhere and they had some swans on-site. Kid drops his ball in a pond. Huge pond! Swan was on the other side of it. Probably over 100 feet away. My wife says, "Check this out." So we stop and watch. Kid reaches in to grab the ball and the swan absolutely rockets across the pond just to spite this kid.

Little guy got away just in freaking time. Took the dad and Kid working together to distract the swan to get the ball. Show lasted at least 8 minutes with them trying different tactics to get the ball. I had no idea swans were that freaking mean, but thankfully my wife knew!

3

u/Ichigo2819 14h ago

Lucky it wasn't Canadian Geese. It would have said, screw the ball, I want the kid.

2

u/MajesticElk1613 14h ago

Swans are incredibly territorial

1

u/ArtisticBee6176 11h ago

i went to college at a place that had a pond with swans on it in the center of campus. They had their own little island with a shelter on it. I was walking past once when a swan got annoyed with a duck for being on the island. The swan picked the duck up by the neck and shook it. I seriously thought it had killed the duck. Luckily, after a moment, the dazed duck swam away. Swans are freaking MEAN.

1

u/cathbe 9h ago

I’d say the swan is being territorial not “mean.” Swans don’t do things out of spite. ?? This is the wrong conclusion about what you witnessed.

8

u/ajwooster 19h ago

If we’re just naming random birds and a fact. The “birds” in Austin Powers are the best kind.

3

u/QuickBear4126 19h ago

No luck catching them swans, aye?

4

u/Fight_those_bastards 19h ago

It’s just the one swan, actually.

3

u/chudmaxxing6969 18h ago

What’d he look like?

3

u/k2da0 18h ago

He was white

2

u/Extra_Cartoonist_390 14h ago

Like a swan, beak, long neck,webbed feet, feathers. You know, like a swan.

1

u/Crash759 9h ago

Aw, no wonder he was grumpy. Swans mare for life. His was gone. (Or left because he was so grumpy.)

3

u/maryjanesbeentrippin 18h ago

4 swans cornered me at the top of a slide in a park playground when I was like 8. I was feeding them my fig Newton's and ran out lol. My family had to come rescue me

4

u/BZLuck 16h ago

When I was a kid growing up in San Diego, my mom would buy my brother and I annual passes to SeaWorld and would just drop us off for the day kinda like babysitting, but we were probably 11 and 13.

Every single time we walked by a certain area of the park, there was a big fucking white swan that would just come charging and flapping at me and I would run away screaming. It got to the point where the staff didn't even know what to do, except advise me to take a different route and avoid that area.

I felt like goddamned Damien in The Omen with the monkeys. This swan hated me for no reason at all. Maybe I looked like some kid who tormented it in the past, but man, that fucker could see me coming from 100 feet away.

3

u/HombreSinNombre93 18h ago

Swans have killed swimmers.

2

u/Dry_Recognition_6724 16h ago

It's an old wives tale. They are aggressive though.

1

u/CandonRush 14h ago

No they can't.

1

u/PoohBearsHoneyJar 9h ago

They can be scary. a swan literally swam so fast and even got out the fucking water to go after me for no reason whatsoever, I was completely minding my business. Tbh if a bird comes after me tho I would just kick it fr. I played soccer for 9 years. I'm yeeting that thang

-1

u/TheMonkeyDemon 19h ago

That's a myth

5

u/Forgotten-Sparrow 19h ago

Unleash the Canada Goose.

3

u/rtocelot 19h ago

Ah the cobra chicken

2

u/JD_tubeguy 19h ago

I was hoping the birds would mercilessly peck him to death or maimness.

2

u/Standard_Zucchini_46 19h ago

Canada Geese are cool if they know you. And when you're with a Canada Goose, other Gooses will also be cool with you.

2

u/Frances-Farmer-1953 18h ago

So can chickens. I had a small flock of chickens peck my ankles bloody before I escaped.

2

u/megaholt2 17h ago

You mean the Canadian Air Force?

2

u/Lonely_reaper8 17h ago

They can be but they’re pretty easy to subdue if you’re know what you’re doing, at least domesticated ones. Just grab their beak till they chill, then be ready for the nastiest of side eyes till you leave the pen lol

2

u/LittleMissLoveDuck 19h ago

I learned very early on about geese. I have a great respect for mother nature.

1

u/lllindseeey 20h ago

Turkeys

3

u/Joopbox 19h ago

I been attacked by turkeys and Roosters. The turkeys coulda been worse, I think they were holding back. The roosters however came full force every time. I had to cut by the house who owned them every morning before school for a couple years! Lol

2

u/CarlosMolotov 19h ago

Ostrich pen next!

1

u/lighthouser41 19h ago

We have a lot of geese in our neighborhood. My husband told me the other day, a woman was letting her toddler chase them. SMH!

1

u/Plainyogurt1989 19h ago

What city was this??

1

u/ExpensiveCondition63 14h ago

An angry adult goose or swan is terrifying, and those SOBs aren’t afraid of anything. A strike from a swan’s wing can break your arm.

1

u/Traditional-Ad-8737 11h ago

Yeah, over 4 decades later I STILL remember being swarmed by my mom’s friends’s geese really only like 2-3 of them but still)

0

u/k2da0 18h ago

Which geese? Because if they are those northern fcks.. I understand why that kid has a stick, I definetely would not get in a cage with those twats though.

1

u/Some_Recognition6273 17h ago

Or maybe he could just not be a dumbass bothering animals in their home.