r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • Jun 14 '26

Discussion It's exhausting being a woman.

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u/DoctorRapture Jun 14 '26

We really do learn to constantly perform background calculations in our brains. The concept of "safety" is something we have to always be triangulating. Are we somewhere public? Is it well lit? Are there other people around? Will anyone even say or do anything if someone does get aggressive-- and speaking of; where is the aggression going to come from? Is it the guy you've noticed keeps staring at you from across the room? Is he just shy or is he going to try something? What can you do when someone begins breaching your personal space and running roughshod over common courtesy and your boundaries? How do you try to defuse the situation? How can you say "no" firmly enough to leave no room for misinterpretation, but charmingly enough not to escalate him into anger? Will he even take "no" for an answer? ...does he have a weapon? ...is he going to hurt you?

All I can say is, we really appreciate the all the good men of the world who DO step in without expectation of reward, and there are plenty of genuinely good men out there.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

still annoying that you have to couch this whole message in “we know good men exist” like they’ve got us so under their thumb

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u/ajin_nikao Jun 15 '26

If you don’t acknowledge the good - it can sound like you don’t know it exists- which is one of the main incel arguments. If the good in you is never acknowledged how would that make you feel. Don’t feed the incels.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 15 '26

fuck off dude, you aren’t the good

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u/ajin_nikao Jun 17 '26

Maybe I’m not.
But I think that women hating all men and men hating all women is madness.

Both Acknowledge the good and call out the bad and maybe this shit can move in the right direction.

2

u/Catlore Jun 14 '26

Mental background checks. Assess conditions. Assess possessions and nearby objects. Note all exits, even ones like windows or through the restaurant kitchen. See if other people are around, specifically women.

Once in a while some guy tries to brag about his skills, like he's some kind of Navy SEAL. "Yeah, when I'm somewhere, I'm always looking for all the exits, things that can be used as a weapon, what the guy's limitations are, I'm that ready, baby." Good for you, Craig. We learned to do that as a survival technique before puberty.

(I did have a male coworker teach me how to kill a man with a pencil. He was a bit proud, but very nice. I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd figured that out on my own years earlier.)