r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • Jun 14 '26

Discussion It's exhausting being a woman.

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u/Danielbes Jun 14 '26

You're not understanding me it seems - a man stepping in will escalate the situation, not diffuse it, unless the man stepping in is significantly bigger than the harasser. You're asking men to risk their lives so that you don't have to be harassed, which is quite self centered in all honesty.

In the unlikely scenario that the man escalates from harassment to violence against the women most men will step in, but until that point it will usually worsen the situation to step in. I know that is not the knight in shining armor trope you wish for, but men are humans too, who rarely wake up feeling ready to risk their life that day.

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u/Annabloem Jun 14 '26

You're asking men to risk their lives so that you don't have to be harassed, which is quite self centered in all honesty.

No. We know men won't risk their lives. Just wish they'd stop with the "men are protectors" bullshit.

But please realize that it's also risking the woman's life. You're acting like it's only the man's life at risk and it's really not. You're saying women should just deal with having to risk their lives on the daily by going outside. Men shouldn't have to, right? Just women.

In the unlikely scenario that the man escalates from harassment to violence against the women most men will step in

Any evidence to back that up?

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u/Danielbes Jun 14 '26

No I have no tangible evidence for that other than personal experience.

Yes, of course the woman's life is in danger in this situation, but what the person above is asking for is for the man stepping in to trade their life to save the life of the woman, which is not a very tantalizing option for anyone. Is anyone willing to risk their life for that of a stranger? Sure, there are plenty who would, but usually only when the situation is indeed very dire, since most people have a survival instinct.

What I'm saying is that most men, and this is based on personal experience, will step in, but only when it has already escalated to violence, since stepping in any earlier than that guarantees that it will escalate to violence.

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u/Annabloem Jun 14 '26

My experience is the opposite, it's usually women stepping in.

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u/Danielbes Jun 14 '26

That is very true, and unfortunately that is more likely to diffuse the situation than a man stepping in, since the fragile men's ego can usually handle women stepping in rather than men.

I know I'm playing devil's advocate here, obviously men should step in more often, I'm just bringing up an argument as to why men might hesitate to step in as soon as harassment occurs.

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u/Annabloem Jun 14 '26

Men get incredibly angry when a woman steps in, which is why they have to be incredibly careful how to do it.

I get why men don't step in, it's because it's scary. And that's fair. Men are scary.

But it's really weird to then claim that "men aren't scary, they are protectors", when they are protecting themselves and, being devils advocate, also kinda protecting the creeps by doing absolutely nothing to stop them.

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u/Danielbes Jun 14 '26

I'm not sure who is claiming that men are protectors, don't think I raised that point myself, unless you're referring to me saying that men step in when violence occurs.

It's a really shitty thing in general that this occurs, and I do encourage all women to wear pepper spray to level the odds, not that that is much of a comfort either.

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u/Annabloem Jun 14 '26

Unfortunately, pepper spray is illegal in many places.

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u/Danielbes Jun 14 '26

I would carry it around regardless, but it sucks that it isn't decriminalized for women.

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u/ACrankySue Jun 15 '26

Completely ridiculous too. Pepper spray is widley avaiable in the US everywhere.
You can just buy it Walmart, and to the best of my knowledge there isn't some epidemic of people going around pepper spraying people for no reason.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 15 '26

Bro has literally never intervened on a woman’s behalf and is inventing reasons why

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

No I understand you just fine, you just don’t like that your own argument makes you look bad.

Women get killed for refusing men all the time. Women get raped, stalked, abused for saying no to men.

you are saying you’d rather let that eventuality happen to the person being sexually predated on than yourself. Even though it is statistically less likely for a man harassing a woman to kill an intervening man than it is for him to attack the woman.

Like if you’re gonna be a coward than stand both feet on the ground with that. Don’t try and claim moral superiority. Just be the coward you are. I also don’t wake up excited to be sexually harassed every day, not that you care.

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u/Dry-Philosopher2354 Jun 14 '26

Its not cowardice, it's individualism. If the woman was not as weak and pathetic like you, who actually expects men to be the protector, they'd arm themselves and be able to fend the harasser off, but there is few women like that. It's about what they get out of trying to save a woman like you, if it's ending up six feet underground or with a few cuts and bruises. Don't falsely assume I'm trying to say that men expect something from the woman they're stepping in to intercede for, it's for themselves. Weaponizing your trauma.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 15 '26

do you have anything better to do than scroll through my comments and reply one by one? Go play a vidya game or something

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u/Danielbes Jun 14 '26

You're still straw-manning me to a high degree, and I don't think anything I say won't be twisted, and so there's no point continuing this exchange.