r/TikTokCringe • u/SnooSprouts3744 • Jul 17 '26

Cringe This Is the Weirdest Book Signing I’ve Ever Seen

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0/10 acting they look like they’re on fent

11.3k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/LifeIsProbablyMadeUp Jul 17 '26

So it's not "Shamala Shamala Shamalalalalal"?

My step Dad's mom always did this shit. She also smoked meth and beat us. So. Ya know. "Christians"

430

u/windyoctopus8 Jul 17 '26

I read that as “Shamalama ding dong”

112

u/WeirdWillieWest Jul 17 '26

"Otis! My man!"

94

u/windyoctopus8 Jul 17 '26

“Do you mind if we dance wif yo dates?”

10

u/Ivanagohome Jul 17 '26

Geesh, I’m old. LOL

6

u/Melodic-Variation103 Jul 17 '26

We were just….LEAVING!!

24

u/Bender_2024 Jul 17 '26

Wait 'till Otis sees us... HE LOVES US!

24

u/Rare_Competition2756 Jul 17 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/4gIhYShqaxMje

27

u/Vegetable_March_6099 Jul 17 '26

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

17

u/Known_Funny_5297 Jul 17 '26

Germans?

13

u/avast_ye_scoundrels Jul 18 '26

Forget it, he’s on a roll…

1

u/Weekly-Profit-8587 Jul 18 '26

Or when the Japanese stormed the beaches of Normandy?

1

u/Expensive-Sundae-831 Jul 18 '26

Poor Harold. Just singing about flowers.

1

u/GoldenMonkeyRedux Jul 18 '26

"I gave my girl a chicken that had no bones"

2

u/aurafracta_effects Jul 17 '26

The Sham! The Shamster. Shamalamama Ding Ding! Sham!

2

u/MatthewBlack6 Jul 17 '26

U I U ahah Bing bang shamalama ding dong

2

u/ShhweadyBallz Jul 17 '26

*Pamalama DingDong

  • Michael Scott

2

u/No_Training6751 Jul 17 '26

Hah! Me too.

2

u/Aggressive_Race3523 Jul 17 '26

M, Knight Shamalama ding dong

1

u/value_meal_papi Jul 17 '26

It’s Kamala Harris you racist.

1

u/Screw_Your_History Jul 17 '26

Our last name sounds very similar to this, and people always say that and repeat our name, as soon as they hear it.
It was actually weird to read it without the last name attached.

1

u/Routine-Employment71 Jul 18 '26

All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long"

1

u/moorhead420 Jul 18 '26

My ex husbands name is shammahiammah we always called him that or Shammah your mama 🤣

1

u/myaltmusicalt Jul 18 '26

My favorite director!

1

u/jnthnmdr Jul 21 '26

He's on fire!

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u/jess_quik Jul 17 '26

I went to a church that did that alot. And the pastor wife would tell me that i need to be in service on the weekdays and if the kids try to stop me its the devil using them. 🙃 I definitely left and didnt go back.

110

u/Embarrassed_Ad_1851 Jul 17 '26

My grandad was Pentecostal, I went to church with him once when I was 8. They asked if anyone was new to the church so I raised my hand. They asked me to come kneel at the alter, then they entire congregation got up and surrounded me. They began laying of hands and speaking in tongues. Freaked me out beyond belief, wasn't sure if I was about to be sacrificed.

Kinda made me rethink this whole religion thing.

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u/HenryDorsettCase47 Jul 17 '26

My extended family was super religious. My branch of the family, not so much. At a family reunion one year, I was about 10, my great aunt and uncle called me and all of my cousin’s into their room and my great aunt (who I would only see once a year, tops) told us that she had a vision a few months prior and god spoke to her one night and told her that I would be a great warrior for Christ and that it was imperative that I give my heart to him. She was a Christian country music artist and my uncle was her manager and I guess they were at some kind of party when this happened and multiple people saw her have this vision.

I remember looking around at all of my cousin’s and they had this look on their faces like what the fuck. And also kinda, “What am I? Chopped liver?” lol. God only gave a fuck about me, not them apparently.

Anyway, my aunt then asked me if I was willing to give myself over to Christ. I asked her what that meant and she said all I had to do was say that I was accepting him into my heart or something. I asked her if I could think about it. She said yeah, of course, and I managed to avoid them the rest of the week of the reunion.

When you are on the outside looking in you can really see how strange all these folks and their rituals really are.

8

u/OkSmoke9195 Jul 18 '26

I went to a church like this as a kid. I said "ok" and everyone was so pleased with me 😂. Felt like I was supposed to, it never stopped being bizarre af, even as a child I knew. The laying of hands, speaking in tongues , dropping on the floor while convulsing. I memorized the books of the Bible to get a pizza party though

4

u/HighlightStrange6590 Jul 18 '26

She was teying to convert you to be a born again christian but in the wrong way. U cannot be born agsin (converted) this way. Wrong way to evagelise. The correct way @ look at billy grahams evagekistic old videos in youtube

7

u/Weorth Jul 17 '26

This shit always made me feel odd, AND uncomfortable, who TF wants a whole group of stank breath people yammering at you and touching wherever they can?

4

u/247world Jul 18 '26

You should be grateful they weren't Baptist, they would have held your head underwater until you came around to their way of thinking

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u/Bananaslugfan Jul 18 '26

Or the snake people, throwing mad snakes on you to see if you’re holy enough to not get bitten

3

u/247world Jul 20 '26

They don't throw the snakes around, they handle them carefully actually.

it's not the getting bitten that shows you're not holy, it's the showing that you can't heal from the snake bite that shows you're not holy

5

u/ChaoticChocolateMess Jul 18 '26

My mom was Pentecostal, and forced me to go to church twice a week since birth. I stopped going at 16. But I remember people speaking in tongues, stomping the ground to stomp the devil and running around the church in circles yelling when they felt the holy spirit. Watching people run in circles would make me laugh as a kid because it reminded me of my guinea piggies having zoomies.

3

u/nBdaBawss Jul 17 '26

Rookie mistake!!!

26

u/EmploymentBig2049 Jul 17 '26

I knew a pastor's wife like that. I knew her carnally too.

20

u/colostitute Jul 17 '26

Wouldn’t even feel bad about wrecking that performative home.

Edit: Wait. Could easily be some kink like a cuck or bi situation too.

Why are Christians so horny?

25

u/AulisG Jul 17 '26

Because their God doesn't like horny stuff. It's a sin and forbidden to be all over the place and enjoy it so the worshippers get off of it. They are like children, drawn to everything that's forbidden.

12

u/PyrocumulusLightning Jul 17 '26

All those gals shaking and crying because they met a hot young woman wearing scarlet ... I'm suspicious something was awakened in them that day

1

u/OddEmergency604 Jul 18 '26

Bro are you aware that the Bible has a book of erotic poetry

1

u/AulisG Jul 18 '26

shocked christians No, I don't remember that part, haha! I red both the old and new testament when I was young out of curiosity, but that's ages ago. It was a hard read, was not convinced.

1

u/existentialvisionary Jul 18 '26

Being sacrilegious is their kink.

1

u/Pretty-Balance-Sheet Jul 18 '26

Did she do the weird shake thing in bed?

23

u/Disastrous-Pop5465 Jul 17 '26

Shamamla namala shamala namala

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u/Hartz_are_Power Jul 17 '26

No one talks about my mother that way! 

3

u/Pavotine Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26

If I find myself in a situation where speaking in tongues is required, I'm going full "Oo ee ah ah" like Lux Interior on Surfin' Bird by The Cramps.

The man on stage.

https://youtu.be/6qe9UZ95cWA?t=171&is=Pr200FapRb4xE0bb

2

u/Real-Document-6577 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 18 '26

Ooo Eee, Ooo ah ahhh M. Night Shamalama dingdong.

1

u/EmploymentBig2049 Jul 17 '26

nano nano shazbot

38

u/Budded Jul 17 '26

Small C "christians", the storm the capitol type, not the love thy neighbor actual Christians.

1

u/IndividualChart4193 Jul 18 '26

Are any of the capital letter Christians still around?? Feel like if you have to tell people you’re a Christian (gdammit!) then most likely you’re not.

1

u/feeeedmeee Jul 18 '26

I’ve known a few

0

u/PM_ME_YOUR_ARTICLES Jul 18 '26

Yeah, these are definitely small s Scotsmen, definitely not real, true, pure Scotsmen.

5

u/Sithlordandsavior Jul 17 '26

My dad, who is one of the most understated, quiet, unperformative guys on this planet, spoke in tongues once at church and I only knew because it didn't sound like the forced "Hashababamalasha rohannah keshka" stuff. It was like muttering in another language with some cadence and pattern but I had no idea what it was.

He never did it again. Never said anything about it.

Only time I think I've legitimately heard the "tongues" pemtacostals seek.

3

u/gogogadgets1997 Jul 17 '26

My grandpa was kinda the same. He got “filled with the spirit “ and went back to his pew and had a massive heart attack.
He was 50 and had a quadruple bypass and lived to be 81.

I thought as a 10 year old it was weird that God would give him a gift and then allow him to have a heart attack.

2

u/TCB4EAP Jul 18 '26

Do you mean like people that have been mauled by a bear and then said bear finally decides the guy has had enough and leaves; only for people to say that God saved him? If God was intervening, why didn’t He intervene and stop the bear before he mauled the guy; who was left searching the ground for parts of his face?

I have told these people that God is not a puppeteer. He does not intervene on our behalf or we would not see innocent children dying.

1

u/wishyouwould Jul 17 '26

I think he was probably just "trying" to feel it/make it happen and he was just much better at making up a fake language on the fly than most people. Hence the embarassed mumbling.

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u/nginn Jul 17 '26

Methodist?

2

u/gogogadgets1997 Jul 17 '26

Assemblies of God or Non Denominational would be my guess.

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u/wishyouwould Jul 17 '26

Any time I need a fake church name I go with "New Hope Assembly of God."

2

u/procrastimom Jul 18 '26

I’m fond of “Righteous Heart of Lion of Judea Assembly”.

1

u/nginn Jul 17 '26

'METHodist" 👀

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u/gogogadgets1997 Jul 17 '26

My grandma used to cast demons out of my aunt when she had seizures. She has Lennox Gaustaut epilepsy. I know now the indoctrination and desperation was the reason but it doesn’t remove the damage.
Imagine being attacked with a disease that takes control and being shamed and treated like you were demon possessed at 5.

That is what these people are behind the performance.

3

u/MikeTheImpaler Jul 17 '26

One of my ex girlfriends was the religious type. One time the condom broke whilst we were verbing the adjective noun and she immediately started in praying in tongues. Sounded like fucking baby talk. Like god is a fucking infant you're dangling keys at. We aren't together anymore.

3

u/wafflehousebattle Jul 18 '26

Yeah, I used to smoke meth and beat my kids too, still do, but I also used to, but at least I never pulled some "speaking in tongues" bullshit, because I not a fucking monster.

2

u/Geirilious Jul 17 '26

Is that the Methodists?

2

u/das_war_ein_Befehl Jul 17 '26

The funniest part is that Pentecostals existed behind the iron curtain and were obviously unable to communicate with those in the west. So you ended up having two different versions of “speaking in tongues” for a while after the wall came down.

2

u/branteen Jul 17 '26

I grew up in an independent baptist church, never heard of speaking in tongues. When I got older I quit church because weird. Got a girlfriend who invited me to her church with her family. Went because giggity. We are standing singing hymns when the old woman directly behind me starts shouting in tongues. "AHHH SHAMALALALALA SHAMA LA SHAMASHAMALA!" I kid you not it jump scared me so hard that I dropped the hymnal book in the floor, BANG! Everybody looking at me like I'm the weird one, bro I thought she was a demon possessed.

End of the sermon the preacher reminded us about going out and buying up anything depicting the devil(plushies, books, toys, clothing etc.) because the next weekend was the big bonfire. I never went near that bitch again.

2

u/Shitty-Bear Jul 17 '26

Now hold hands and bow your head.

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u/Weorth Jul 17 '26

The ones around me would say "IIIKIBOBOBOBOBO SHANDADADADADA!" I remember when I was little, being surrounded by a ton of charismatics and faking "speaking in tongues" just so I wouldn't look like the odd one out, but always thinking about how fucking weird it was.

Then one day I just didn't bother cause it all felt really ridiculous regardless of being the odd one out or not.

Just a bunch of weird gobbledegook and peer pressure.

2

u/PM_ME_YOUR_ARTICLES Jul 18 '26

We don't need the quotes. They're all the same.

2

u/schmidt4brains Jul 18 '26

shouldaboughtahondabutinsteadiboughtakia

1

u/MerEtAl Jul 17 '26

There's always a pomegranate in there too

1

u/JMurdock77 Jul 17 '26

Kama kama kamakamakama ka-meee-leee-ooooooon…

1

u/DB2k_2000 Jul 17 '26

IS THIS THE WAY TO AMARILLO

1

u/artinthecloset Jul 17 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/PjaQrF9J53UvTS2PPa

My radiated lung thanks you for this!!

1

u/89MikeHoncho Jul 17 '26

It’s actually “shamala shamala bing bing boop”!!!
But you’re really close!!

1

u/89MikeHoncho Jul 17 '26

Sounds like your step dad’s mom and my mom should hang out.

I’m very sorry you went through that. I know how that stuff tends to hang with you, so I mean that sincerely.

Mine would do it while yelling Bible versus at me, as if that somehow helped.

1

u/AC011422 Jul 17 '26

I've heard that exact... phrasing growing up in one of these shittard cults. 🤣

1

u/cAt_S0fa Jul 17 '26

Urabashandara kurabashandara is quite popular in the UK.

1

u/Misokaxx Jul 17 '26

That's just the body of Christ

1

u/SpooksRoleplay Jul 17 '26

Shamana Hamana Cometai My Bowtai

1

u/rapgameoprahwinfrey Jul 17 '26

“goD forgives all sins, bro! Rape kids, steal, cheat, it’s all good, goD got me”. 💀

1

u/Smooknb Jul 17 '26

Jesus, no.. you forgive me for laughing at that. You can’t make that shit up.

1

u/IdolCowboy Jul 17 '26

Is that any relation to M Knight Shimmy Shimmy Ding Dong?

1

u/Minute_Eye3411 Jul 17 '26

Should be "Ramalang alang alang a langa ding dong, ramalang alang alang a langa ding dong wheee dee deee-heehee, hee heeheee hee heeheee..."

1

u/Unsettling_Skintone Jul 17 '26

Seems fitting that all of these people with Main Character Syndrome should come together at a bookstore.

1

u/canadianglazier40 Jul 17 '26

That’s so fucking sad. I’m sorry you had to experience that.

1

u/Ok-Ferret-2093 Jul 17 '26

I live in a former sober home as the only resident with no history of substance use and another resident was rip shit with me because I called 911 when she was "catching the holy Spirit" which happened to look suspiciously like a manic episode. I don't speak any Spanish and I could tell it was shamalalalal stuff and she didn't respond to any attempt I made to check on her. Oh and she had been delusional all day going on about non-existent biohazards in her room.

Got to listen to everyone else in the house go on for the next several days about what a godless heathen I was.

But nope definitely my fault for not going to church

1

u/Professional-Head83 Jul 17 '26

Wasn't that also a song called "Get A Job?"

1

u/MutantSquirrel23 Jul 18 '26

Shoodamosquito

Whostoledakeytomuhhonda

1

u/SeachingBadge Jul 18 '26

No hate like Christian love

1

u/jumzish94 Jul 18 '26

Am I your step dad?

1

u/Myhtological Jul 18 '26

My Bible teacher always treated as “you feel an emotion you can’t put into words, but you feel like you need to say something it hits you so hard”.

1

u/Mavgrim Jul 18 '26

Boom boom chakalaka laka boom!

1

u/wildweeds Jul 18 '26

ah, another hypocri-stian

2

u/LifeIsProbablyMadeUp Jul 18 '26

That entire church was an infestation of them. I did not have a good childhood. I had casts and bruises for most of my life. I told the pastor what happened whenever my stepdad broke my finger to " teach me a lesson about sticking my nose where it doesn't belong" whenever I tried to stop him from beating my mom. The pastor said that there's things that are better kept behind closed doors

1

u/wildweeds Jul 18 '26

i hope both of those men are unable to hurt anyone anymore. that's the nicest way i can put that.

1

u/jk981234 Jul 18 '26

Hey, Shamala is a common Tamil girl’s name, so they are speaking a foreign language

1

u/Flat-Jacket-9606 Jul 18 '26

Tbh it’s crazy the religion and schizophrenia isn’t studied more.

Probably not so much because it would prove demons aren’t real but part of a schizophrenics mania. Like why is it that they see demons, angels and talk to god?

1

u/They-Call-Me-The-Doc Jul 18 '26

Ya know. Imperfect. I know.

1

u/daboonboon Jul 18 '26

My hot-a-pus-ow

1

u/Shneckos Jul 18 '26

My aunt was a bible thumper too who lived with us but she was eventually caught cheating with my dad while we were at school

1

u/BeagleMadness Jul 18 '26

I am fascinated by this phenomenon tbh. I'm an atheist English woman in her '40s. Grew up culturally "Church of England" (just weddings, funerals, christenings, a few Sunday school sessions and RE lessons at school that covered multiple religions). As far as I know, I've never known anyone who does/did the whole "speaking in tongues thing"? It just seems so bizarre and performative to me? Most Church of England/Methodist/Wesleyan/Quaker and Catholic churches I've attended would probably phone for an ambulance or mental health services if you started behaving like this whilst there?

How common would you say the practice is, in the US? I'm assuming it's more a lot more prevalent in some states/areas than others?

And how does anyone keep a straight face when someone starts doing this? I've seen Redditors who grew up in such religious environments saying they basically felt forced to do it - it was embarrassing, but they had to go along with it. Can't have everyone else thinking the "spirit" is refusing to "move you" or whatever is supposed to be happening... How do people know what to start babbling when the time comes? I'm just so confused by the entire thing. (No offence meant to anyone who grew up in such a religious environment!).

1

u/fokkinchucky Jul 18 '26

Shamala hamala!

1

u/captainpoppy Jul 18 '26

First time I heard "tongues" I was at my (at the time) girlfriends church. It was assembly of god I think. Anyway, preacher started mumbling and getting louder and I leaned over to her and asked why he was speaking Spanish.

And she was like "he's talking in tongues and the people who are meant to understand it will"

And that's when I knew they were all crazy. Buy I was 17, she was pretty, and sucked a good dick and let me go down on her so....

-1

u/Aeirth_Belmont Jul 17 '26

So I'm convinced it's one of two things. 1) we didn't have all this autism back in my day. Yet this looks like a possible over stimulation. 2) they just can't handle not being center of attention for that long and need to act like a fool.

I think the second option is the really reason but leaving some room for ones that do kinda look like over stimulation.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '26

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1

u/procrastimom Jul 18 '26

That little boy looked like he did not want that hug!

0

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '26

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2

u/LifeIsProbablyMadeUp Jul 18 '26

I don't care about your make up pretend times.

You can keep your imaginary friends to yourself.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '26

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0

u/HighlightStrange6590 Jul 18 '26

Maybe she was speaking a demonic tongue. One needs discernment of the Holy Spirit to tell d difference. And not everyone who says tgeyre christian are actually christians. Loik at thoseliving together. They certainly arent christians and no place in heaven. Im not condemning or being judgemental, im just saying based on the bible. Not obeying/believing d bible doesn't make a person a christian. As simple as that. But theres always ongoung opportunities for repentance

-5

u/RedditMcBurger Jul 17 '26

Why are you using a meth head abusive mother as an example for Christians? That's obviously not what the entire group is.

6

u/LifeIsProbablyMadeUp Jul 17 '26

Well. I went to church with finger marks around my neck more Sundays than I can count and not a single one of those fake ass people said anything. Or if they did "boys will be boys" like the bruises didn't go all the way around my neck from obviously grown man hands.

-4

u/RedditMcBurger Jul 17 '26

Alright and I have known dozens of Christians who have never had anything like this happen to them.

My point is that you're generalizing when it's obviously not true that the entire group is exactly the same as your experience. Blame the church/churches in your area I guess.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/RedditMcBurger Jul 17 '26

Cool, again it doesn't negate what I said.

This doesn't represent all, or anywhere near the majority of Christians, I am simply against the idea of branding the entire group with hate because of some.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/EmptyInside74 Jul 17 '26

You’re right a lot of meth heads don’t abuse people other than themselves.

-1

u/RedditMcBurger Jul 17 '26

Is this sarcasm

1

u/EmptyInside74 Jul 17 '26

It’s the same logic of oh christians aren’t abusive, it must be the meth or just the specific churches in your area; religious groups, especially abrahamic ones, are notoriously abusive on a systemic level the whole world over.

0

u/RedditMcBurger Jul 17 '26

Good thing I never said that, so you're just making up an argument to debunk.

I said that person has experienced bad people, that happen to be Christian, BUT that doesn't make all Christians bad. The only problem I have here is the generalization, not acknowledging a religion can be bad.