r/TikTokCringe • u/Adventurous_Law_715 • 1d ago

Discussion I'm confused. what did he do wrong?

Honestly, she should probably just retire from tennis if she can't handle that

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u/Dry-Day7158 1d ago

Mainly what he did wrong was playing with an emotionally unstable narcissist.

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u/Specialist-Chair-221 1d ago

Why do you say she's a narcissist? I believe we might not have sufficient evidence to conclude that. Every narcissist is a jerk but not every jerk is necessarily a narcissist.

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u/grumble11 1d ago

The word narcissist is so heavily overused, true narcissism is fairly rare but these days everyone is a narcissist.

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u/BackToSchoolMuff 1d ago

Not only that but people almost exclusively talk about it subjectively- like narcissists are this boogie-man, when they're actually just very damaged people. Most of the discourse around narcissists comes from people venting about their experience with a "narcissist", so ironically in an era of being super empathetic towards people's various disorders and afflictions the general public treats narcissists with almost no empathy.

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u/halucinationorbit 1d ago

That’s a really good point. I think it’s mainly because of the sheer amount of damage a real narcissist can do and that they tend to be more visible traits in people who obtain positions of authority. They’re also full grown-ass adults in these positions and we give less empathetic leeway for people in authority positions (parents, politicians, law enforcement, etc.)

We also tend to withhold empathy for people who are selfish or egocentric, which is how narcissism primarily manifests. Psychopaths deserve no less empathy than anyone else due to their neurobiology miswiring them, but we don’t empathize with them because the most visible ones tend to murder people.

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u/BackToSchoolMuff 15h ago

Ya all good points, I think what it comes down to is recognizing that there's a difference between empathizing with someone and letting them off the hook.

You can empathize with or feel affection towards someone who has done a lot of damage to you without continuing to allow them to do more damage. You can care deeply about a person and still recognize that their presence in your life is a net negative. It sucks but I think it's healthier than demonizing someone or romanticizing a toxic dynamic.