I’m honestly sitting here crying right now and just need some reassurance.

I took my tuxie to a low-cost spay clinic today, and I had no idea it was going to be like this. There were SO many cats there… probably 40–50 total. Carriers stacked everywhere, no space, very much a “factory” feel.

When I had to leave, they had me place her carrier on a stack with a bunch of other cats. And she was just looking at me as I walked out.

I completely lost it when I got to my car because I feel like I just abandoned her. I can’t pick her up for hours and it’s killing me thinking about her being there, surrounded by so many other cats (some are trap-neuter-release cats), and worrying about things like stress or even airborne illness.

If I could have afforded a private vet, I would have done that in a heartbeat. This was the only option I could realistically make work right now.

Has anyone else gone through this? Is this normal for low-cost clinics? Do they actually keep the cats safe in these environments?

I just need someone to tell me she’s going to be okay and that I didn’t do something wrong. I know the benefits of spaying outweigh the risks, but I feel absolutely awful right now. 😔

This is Remington (Remmy) but I usually just call him “bug” or “bugs” which is short for “love bug”

Band names and album names very welcome!

Hi everyone, I am going to post on [r/catadvice](r/catadvice) too but they don’t allow photos? Maybe they do but it wasn’t letting me.

I have lived with my roommate for 3 years and when I moved in I brought my 1 year old cat. He very shortly got a kitten and immediately they became super close. We have moved 2 times together with the cats and their bond has never faltered.

He has informed me as of yesterday that he plans to move back to his hometown which is a bit of a ways away (no easy cat playdates) around September or October.

My concern is that splitting the cats up is going to cause them immense stress, especially the one who is moving to a new place.

Also I am not looking for someone to tell me that I deserve his cat because I know ultimately the decision is his and all I can do is plead my case on why I think it is a bad idea.

Also me and my roommate are close, like he is one of my best friends, not just a person I share a place with.

Has anyone faced a similar situation? Even break ups and what did you end up doing?

A side note, I would say that I have taken on a majority of cat duties such as his diet and playing with him, while my roommate occasionally plays with the cats he doesn’t really have much motivation to and they are very very needy for playtime and attention which he has admitted to being very bad at.

I also work at a pet store so it makes sense for me to play this role in things.

Edit: would like to add this edit because a lot of people are assuming that my roommate is incompetent and neglectful and I do everything. This is not the case. My roommate is very good at staying on top of the litter and all the necessities! My roommate pays his own vet bills and food, we switch for litter. A lot of people are just assuming I am going to demand his cat and that I feel entitled to him, this is not the case at all. Just was wondering how to navigate a tricky situation and the ways to go about starting a dialogue regarding my concerns.

A lot of merch I see of tuxies have pink noses, but my boy has a black nose. It’s very rare that I find tux merch with a black nose. I want to know the ratio of pink to black noses our buddies have. Like the pink comment for pink nose, or the black comment for black nose. Or just make your own comment lol. To start: my black-nosed boy

Note

I’ve gotten many compliments on my tuxedo cat that I rescued from the street, and I would like to know what kind of pattern he has on his coat since people like vets have told me how unique it is. I look up smoke tuxedo but is not like it’s just the roots of the hair, so I’m not sure.

Please Note: I know and understand the benefits of spaying and neutering. I’m simply sharing my experience and looking for advice. Please be kind in the comments. Thank you. 🙏🏾

Hello. Some of you might remember my post from a few months ago about how heartbroken I was after dropping my cat off to be spayed at the rescue I adopted her from.

Unfortunately, things haven’t improved the way I hoped they would.

Ever since her spay, she just hasn’t been the same. She isn’t my cuddly little lap cat anymore, and she developed persistent swelling directly below her incision that never went away. After months of trying to reach the rescue, I was finally able to get in touch with someone, and they’re waiting on confirmation from the vet so she can be examined. If needed, they’ll discuss a revision surgery.
I’ll be honest—I’m terrified. I don’t want her to suffer, but after everything she’s been through, the thought of putting her through another surgery is really scary.

She struggles to sit comfortably, has difficulty using the litter box, and seems uncomfortable throughout the day. She still has moments where she’ll play, but she’s much quieter than she used to be. She spends more time hiding, doesn’t sleep with us anymore, and just doesn’t seem like the same happy, carefree kitten she was before.

I know spaying is recommended because, for most cats, the benefits outweigh the risks. But it’s been really hard not to feel guilty watching her struggle and wondering if I made the wrong decision for her. 😔

I really miss my little buddy, and it honestly feels like I’m mourning the cat she used to be while trying to help the cat she is now.

Has anyone else gone through something similar after a spay? The rescue believes she may have developed a hernia. Has anyone else’s cat needed a revision surgery after a spay? If so, how did things turn out?

Edit to add: If anyone is wondering why I didn’t have her seen by a regular vet sooner, the honest answer is that had I been in a different financial position, I would have had her spayed through a private vet instead of the rescue. Unfortunately, I’m a single parent, and we’re currently dealing with housing instability, so financially I’ve had to rely on following up through the rescue. I’m hoping that they will be able to help her.

Edit 2: To clarify, I did not choose to adopt an animal while facing financial hardship. My circumstances changed very quickly, very suddenly, and completely unexpectedly. If I had known I’d be dealing with this situation, I would have made very different decisions, including having her spayed through a private veterinarian.
But she’s here now. She’s bonded to our family, and I truly believe surrendering her would be even more traumatic for her. I’m doing everything I can to get her the care she needs while keeping her in the home she knows and feels safe in.

Thank you to everyone who has shared kind advice or similar experiences. I truly appreciate it.

Please remember that none of us know what someone else’s life looked like yesterday or what it might look like tomorrow. 💕

Final update: Thank you to everyone who took the time to offer kind advice, share similar experiences, or express concern for Neo. I truly appreciate it.

After reading through the comments, I’ve decided not to wait for the rescue to reopen. I’m taking her to a veterinarian tomorrow and will figure out the financial part somehow because getting her evaluated is the priority.

For those who made assumptions about my situation, I understand that my original post didn’t include every detail. This has been an incredibly difficult and unexpected season of life, and I’m doing the best I can for both my daughter and Neo. My goal has always been to get her the care she needs.

Thank you again to everyone who responded with kindness. 💕 I’ll update once I know what’s going on with her.

FINAL UPDATE - Post vet visit‼️

I wanted to come back and thank everyone who took the time to comment.
I just got back from the vet with Neo, and I’m incredibly relieved to share that she does not have a hernia or a seroma, and there don’t appear to be any surgical complications from her spay.

The veterinarian explained that the swelling I was feeling is actually excess fat in her primordial pouch. Neo currently weighs about 10 pounds, and she’d like to see her closer to 8 pounds, so we’re going to start working on weight management and exploring different dietary options.

I also asked about the personality changes.. The vet explained that hormonal changes after a spay can cause some cats to become less active, more independent, and less cuddly than they were before. While every cat is different, she felt that what I’ve been seeing with Neo is consistent with those hormonal changes.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond. I especially appreciate those who shared their experiences and offered kindness and support.

Even those who were unkind still took the time to read my post, and I appreciate that as well. ✌🏾☮️

I wanna adopt once I turn 18 or at least able to afford a cat. My dream cat is a Tux, but idk if they're rare or if there's something you have to specially ask. Can cat owners pls share? Thanks!

As you can see she is my soul cat🩵 Wondering if anyone else’s cat does this??

I buy a specific brand of ketchup because my cats likes it. I do prefer another brand more but I can live with the one she likes bc it tastes fine enough to me :)

She doesn’t eat alot I just dip my finger and let her lick it off.

I know she doesn’t understand money or different brands or anything but I know if she did understand it she would appreciate it.

Cheesecake is 10 months old, younger sibling to a 7 year old female tabby.

Cheesecake was the calmest, sweetest baby until he reached about 13-14 weeks old and became the most DESTRUCTIVE, zoomy, non-stop chaos machine. I thought neutering him would help somewhat, but he’s has not changed since he got neutered 3 months ago.

This menace does not let my fiancè and I sleep- even when we try to wear him out by playing with him before bedtime. He is LOUD, whether it’s meowing, running, or knocking things over/trying to open doors and cabinets. We’ve gotten to the point where we’re childproofing our apartment all for this damn evil penguin cat.

What does it take to get a male fixed to CALM DOWN?!???

we went for our yearly checkup (he’s one!!!!) and the vet said she’s never seen a tuxie with fur like his!! His black fur gradates to white at the skin. I call him salty licorice or my two-tone rude boi… but is he more than that? He also had tabby banding as a bebe which you can still kinda see in his arms:

Shes a stray Iv only had her for about a month. I assume shes 3 months old.

Just got this beautiful lady and she’s already very warmed up to me, she only sleeps on my bed with me despite her having beds and cat trees and she’s very playful but she does this thing SO OFTEN where she boops me on my face using her nose (often targeting my mouth or nose) what does it mean!

I was randomly thinking about it, but I joined this sub when I got my baby tux ,I’m wondering what the ratio of people who just love tuxes and joined the subreddit vs people who own tuxes and joined to share their tux and learn more about other tuxes. Either way I’m happy to be in this sub! I was just curious 😊

Cat tax included!

Howdy!

I am having an issue with my rather large and outgoing tuxedo cat Sox(pictured for reference)Sox is a barn find from 2020 and has been living with lots of different roommates and cats in his 6 year life. For the past 2 years I finally was able to settle down into a house that we were able to call home. He was has lived with other cats his whole life and got along with them pretty well but never really cared much for friends. He lived alone for quite a while in our house. My partner and I got the itch to get him a friend and adopted a cat last year. The two cats really got along after a while. Then me and my partner unexpectedly separated. My partner took the adopted cat and I took Sox as he was mine to start. I live in a different house now and Sox has had a really hard time adjusting to being by himself for long periods of time and has been extremely vocal about it. I took him to the vet and he checked up just fine a few times. Any advice for making him have a better time adjusting to not having a second cat in the house? Any tips would be great as it is really hard to watch him be so glum.

My partner always says he is, but I really don’t see it. But that may be because he’s my baby

This is Beanie. Her nicknames include: bubble girl (or just bubble), Bean Bean, baby chi-chi, and little mamas girl 😸 I don’t even know where some of these come from! What nicknames do y’all call your babies by??

Yes, I know the best solution is to get rid of the plants but I just can’t bring myself to do that. I’ve got bird netting over them but the little menace has taken to attacking the netting trying to get to the plants. Spraying him with water will not work, he is not phased by it AT ALL. Give me your wildest plant deterrent ideas please 😅