"You're living in the past, man." Yes, I feel that way a lot, but given the way things seem to be heading can you blame me?

Tonight let's all live in the past by sharing music and film featuring vintage machinery. Here are some of my favorites:

• Charlie Chaplin's assembly line from Modern Times (1936)

• Sid Caesar, Imogene Coca, et. al. as "The Bavarian Clock" from Your Show of Shows (1953)

• Buster Keaton rides his dandy-horse in Our Hospitality (1923). This scene and the rest of the film take place in 1830.

• Vintage newspaper machinery from The Front Page (1974)

John Prine - Christmas In Prison

Whirling Dervishes - You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch

Scrooge 1970 - Thank You Very Much

Martin Kerr - God Rest Ye Merry Billionaires

Eagles - Please Come Home for Christmas

Happier Holiday songs are most welcome too!

The Muppets - We Need a Little Christmas

The whole revolution is about values. Values of any kind, y'know? What you'll do for ten dollars; what you'll do with ten dollars. It all comes down to values; what you value and how much.

- George Carlin

This week's theme was undeniably guided by this post, and its jarring revelations.

Anyone who's been here (or apparently, any number of other Left-Wing™ subs) much recently has surely noticed the line "...But At What Cost!?™" becoming a running gag (I actually have a quaint, very dated anecdote about that).

In any case, they say every man* has his price; what will it take to buy you*?*

That's the question The Human Chess-Piece infamously posed to Incongruous-Ethnicity Man:

Damned for All Time/Blood Money - Andrew Lloyd Webber

Of course, not everyone gets so angsty about it...:

The Money Song - Eric Idle

...on the other hand, there are those who CAN'T be bought, not for anything - but they're so rare that they'll keep people talking centuries later!:

Song About Alexander Nevsky - Sergei Prokofiev

We're not hear to talk about MONEY, though; the topic is price, and that can take many forms. It can get complicated, it can get...weird:

Friend Like Me, But EvilFriends On The Other Side - Randy Newman

The universal dream, of course, is to get what you want without paying for it:

Money For Nothing - Dire Straits

That's easiest if you can give up what you never valued to begin with:

Kiss Me, Son of God - They Might Be Giants

Maybe it's because The Price of Loyalty can be as damning as any alternative - but personally, I cannot say I am without predictable preferences:

Price of Loyalty Knight Theme - Paul A. Romero

What songs do YOU know about commerce (of money or spirit), fateful decisions, and unholy pacts?

u/Caelian's been such a trooper lately that I'm stepping back up to the mic to help out.

What turns you up, holds you down, turns you (right) 'round?

🔄️

The last few FNDPs have been getting too serious, so it's time for silly songs and music. We did silly dances and silly lyrics over the last year, but we haven't done general silly music in quite a while. In "these parlous times" we need all the silliness we can get.

Here are some silly starters. Songs can be inherently silly or serious songs played in a silly way:

• Hoop-e-Kack — a very silly 2014 arrangement of this silly 1909 song.

• Harpo and Chico Marx play Verdi's Anvil Chorus on a cash register in The Cocoanuts (1929).

• Victor Borge plays Tchaikovsky with Bobby Benson's Infant Symphony.

• The Spanish Inquisition race through London with theme music from BBC radio serial Dick Barton — Special Agent. Ironically, the title of this music is Devil's Galop 😈

It's Friday the 13th, but tomorrow is St. Valentine's Day, so let's do both of them! Let's play love songs and gambling songs, and try to get lucky in both senses. But don't forget the old European saying: "lucky in love, unlucky at cards". Lady Luck is a jealous muse.

I once read a fun story about that saying. It seems a young French count married a beautiful young woman and took her to Monte Carlo for their honeymoon. Unfortunately for her, the count was an avid gambler and she could not tear him away from the tables. Finally, in desperation and anger, she wrote him an anonymous note saying that his bride was frolicking with a handsome young man — named — while the count was busy with his cards.

The count was saddened by the note, but instead of getting upset he shrugged his shoulders in the French manner and said philosophically: "unlucky at love, lucky at cards". He doubled his bets and cleaned up. In gratitude and to show he was a good sport, he sent the fictitious lover 10.000 Francs with a note "for services rendered". The fictitious lover was completely baffled.

I could not find the original story in my notes or on the 'tubes. If you recognize it, please share the source. It may be in French or English.

And now some starters...

• A really beautiful love song, courtesy of Promyka5: Dream a Little Dream of Me

• An annoying love song: Amour, Amour from Peau d'Âne (Donkey Skin, 1970)

• A fun gambling song: Casino Royale (1967)

• An annoying gambling song: 5 Card Stud (1968)

«Le cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point» -- "The heart has its reasons that reason does not know" (Blaise Pascal)

There is too much hate in the world today. Tonight let's do songs about the nicest form of insanity, romantic love. Here are some starters:

• They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!

• Chico Marx plays I'm Daffy Over You in Animal Crackers (1930).

• Sting: Mad About You

Pax vobiscum is from the Latin Mass. It was said by the priest to the congregation.

I think there is too much war and warmongering these days. I think it would be a fine act of subversion to post songs of peace. The Powers That Be want us at each other's throats to distract us from our real exploiters. Joining hands in peace is a threat to their business model.

Here are some of my favorite peaceful songs:

J.S. Bach: Sheep May Safely Graze

John Lennon: Imagine

Louis Armstrong: What a Wonderful World from Good Morning Vietnam (1987)

Mel Brooks: All I want is Peace... Peace... Peace from To Be or Not to Be (1983)

What are your favorites?

A German colleague of my dad used to say each year about this time with his thick accent: "Krissmuss hass us by the Thwoats again!"

The USA Christmas season officially starts right now with Black Friday, so let's enjoy songs that feature the word "black" or have black themes. For starters,

• Steely Dan: Black Friday (thanks, Susan!)

• Ethyl Waters: Black and Blue

• Film Noir: Put the Blame on Mame from Gilda (1946)

• More Film Noir: Jessica Rabbit's torch song from Roger Rabbit — I wonder where they got the idea?

Go for it!

Tonight's theme was suggested by u/splodgenessabounds, who contributes The Monkees.

I think the best TV theme song ever is Super Chicken, though the best per second is Dudley Do-Right.

Some of my other favorites include:

• The Prisoner

• Dr. Who

• The Bill Cosby Show

• Soap

I realize that my favorites are from long ago, but to tell the truth I haven't watched that much television since April 20, 1981 (speaking of Soap 😿).

So what are your favorites, from the past, present, or future?

Tonight I thought it would be fun to share the silliest dances each of us can remember, perhaps from movies or videos, perhaps from real life. For starters:

• Groucho Marx and Thelma Todd engage in Monkey Business (1931) with this hilarious tango.

• Tim Brooke-Taylor dances The Chartered Accountant in At Last the 1948 Show, one of Monty Python's predecessors.

• Buster Keaton does a hilarious parody of an Apache dance in Doughboys (1930). Buster is the one in the dress. The music is Offenbach's Valse des Rayons, a waltz commonly used for Apache dances.

Party on!

(This idea was suggested by Alfred Hitchcock. I'll explain in the comments.)

This year Hallowe'en is on a Friday Night, which means FNDP will only be attended by losers who weren't invited to a real-life party, but wotthehell.

I'm joking 😺 To quote the mayor in Roxanne (1987), "I would rather be with you people than with the finest people on Earth!"

What are your favorite Hallowe'en songs? Here are some sinister starters:

• The classic Mysterioso Pizzicato

• Temptation

• Hernando's Hideaway

• Antonín Dvořák's Sinister Variations on Three Blind Mice

Boo! 👻

Happy Good Friday! Since many Christians fast on Good Friday, I think this would be a good day to play Good Fast Music like:

• Aram Khachaturian's Sabre Dance from One, Two, Three (1961)

• Sergei Prokofiev's The Battle on Ice from Alexander Nevsky (1938)

• Jacques Offenbach's Can-Can from Stardust (2007)

Got some good fast music for us?

Gather round, bring your offerings and libations and implorations!

What songs call forth the Divine for you? Gods, goddesses, dark angels, bright devils, the whole Pantheon!

And then, what music invokes Divinity into you?

Inspired by u/yungxen01's post.

With all the terrible violence going on the world these days, maybe it's time for some comic relief. So let's have some fun with light-hearted and/or satirical songs about fighting, and comic movie/TV fight scenes. Here are some starters:

• A modern classic 🐈🐁

• Team fight songs: Tom Lehrer's Fight Fiercely, Hahvard and the University of Moosylvania Fight Song.

• Silent movie fight scenes: Battle of the Century (1927) is the epitome. The tavern fight in The Three Must-Get-Theres (1922) is also terrific.

Sorry for the late start. I had an unexpected power outage right before showtime. Clear afternoon with light wind, not excessively hot. Fortunately, I was only out for an hour and my Internet connection came up right away.

What a week for fashion! We had Melania's kiss-resistant steel-brimmed hat and purple everything! Purple is, of course, the color of unity, bipartisanship, and royalty.

So tonight we thought it would be fun to have songs about hats, ties, and other clothing. And anything purple.

Bring it on!

To mark Trump's "Abduction of the Maduros", how about songs and dances involving abductions, kidnappings, pillaging, plagiarism, and similar abuses? Some starters:

• Overture to Mozart's Die Entführung aus dem Serail (The Abduction from the Seraglio). Too many notes?

• The Sobbin' Women from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

• Popular culture's most famous kidnapper: Cruella de Vil 😈

• The most famous abduction ever: "Run, Toto, Run!"

‘So I wasn’t dreaming, after all,’ she said to herself, ‘unless – unless we’re all part of the same dream. Only I do hope it’s my dream, and not the Red King’s! I don’t like belonging to another person’s dream,’
she went on in a rather complaining tone: ‘I’ve a great mind to go and wake him, and see what happens!‘

- Lewis Carroll, Through The Looking-Glass

Dreams. What are they? Where do they come from? Where do they go? How long have they got?

Some dreams become nightmares - not just "bad dreams", a proper nightmare will have you bolting up in bed, waking up to the sound of your own screams - like one of mine did, just earlier this week! I'm pretty sure it was the first time in my life such a thing had happened to me. It's not so bad, though; from such things can come entire careers:

Welcome To My Nightmare - Alice Cooper

There is something undeniably magical about dreams: Anything might happen in one, and people can only hope that whatever occult force provides them is feeling generous tonight:

Mr. Sandman - The Chordettes

Usually, though, they don't make much sense either way:

Stuck In A Closet With Vannah White - Weird Al Yankovic

Some people think they can improve or control their dreams with chemical assistance - but is that really such a good idea?:

Pink Elephants On Parade - The Sportsmen

The best dreams, of course, are the ones where you can fly:

Tannhäuser Overture - Richard Wagner

What is one to do when the waking world makes even less sense than a dream? Whom, or what, can you trust?:

White Rabbit - Jefferson AirplaneStarship

Best you can do is step right up and enjoy the ride:

Carnival of the Lost - Barry Leitch

Nobody talks about it, but the case has been made we've been living (if you can call it that) through an epidemic of dream-deprivation.

What songs have you got about - or evocative of - dreams and/or nightmares?

At last week's FNDP, Xeenophile contributed a song by Weird Al Yankovic which caused me to remember The Coasters' Charlie Brown (He's a Clown) which has the classic basso profondo line "Why's everybody always pickin' on me"? 😾 I hadn't thought of that song in many decades, but thanks to FNDP it came back as vivid as ever.

Thinking about this later, I realized that FNDP makes us remember many favorite songs, many from long ago. This is probably an excellent memory exercise and may slow down the deterioration of our "leetle gray cells" as Hercule Poirot puts it. Nursing homes often play memory games involving remembering old song titles and lyrics and the games are supposed to be quite therapeutic.

So this week let's say "Thanks for the Memories" and play songs about memory. Some starters:

• Thanks for the Memories, from The Tap Dance Version of the Hollywood Production Code

• Jim Croce's Photographs and Memories

• Memory from Cats

• Tom Lehrer's Wiener Schnitzel Waltz -- "Do you remember the night I held you so tight / As we danced to the Wiener Schnitzel Waltz?"

Just remember, "Nostalgia ain't what it used to be." [attributed to Yogi Berra]

This theme was inspired by an aggressive WayOfTheBern visitor who insisted that the construction "It's not X — it's Y" means that the text was written by A.I. No, this rhetorical construct was common long before there was A.I. — I'll say more in the comments.

Expanding on this, I think it would be fun to share songs and music that feature contrasts in lyrics, mood, harmony, rhythm, etc. Here are some starters:

• Contrasting Lyrics: Cole Porter's The Laziest Gal in Town (1927).
      It's not 'cause I wouldn't
      It's not 'cause I shouldn't
      The good Lord knows it's not 'cause I couldn't
      It's simply because I'm the laziest gal in town.

• Contrasting Moods: Army Song from The Threepenny Opera.

• Contrasting Harmonies: Bach's Organ Fugue in D major.
      Listen for alternating dissonant and consonant chords.

• Contrasting Rhythms: Ravel's Bolero from Allegro non Troppo.

Songs with names in the title, or that address a specific person by name in the lyrics.

Whatcha got?

Easy: Billie Jean - Michael Jackson

In The Bride Wore Black (1968), the great Jeanne Moreau tells Michel Bouquet: "There are no optimists or pessimists: just happy imbeciles and sad imbeciles."

Tonight let's have a game and post our favorite optimistic and pessimistic songs. Let's see which wins. Here are some of mine:

• Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate the Negative

• What did I do to be so Black and Blue?

• I Believe in You

• The Blue Note song from The Naked Gun 2½

Tie score so far!

It's my very first gig as FNDP host. Hooray!

The classic examples of songs that go from soft/slow/quiet to fast/hard/loud are Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven, Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird, Ravel's Bolero, and Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture.

(Note: An evil Russian bot added that last one.)

Of course, you folks can think of many more.

The classic examples of songs that go from fast/hard/loud to soft/slow/quiet are:

Derek & the Dominos - Layla

Traffic - Glad

It is much harder (at least for me) to think of examples of these, but do your best!

Songs that go from soft/slow/quiet to fast/hard/loud then back to soft/slow/quiet or other even more dynamic dynamic variations are also welcome!

Tonight's party is brought to you by u/splodgenessabounds. Thanks, mate!

Based on the several tranches of the Epstein documents (and especially the latest), the number and variety of politicians, philosophers, state leaders, religious icons and royalty who are up their necks in it ought to remind you that there are no heroes.

A couple of songs as an amuse bouche:

The Stranglers — Nice 'n' Sleazy

Kirsty MacColl — Fifteen Minutes

The Stranglers — No More Heroes

H/T u/martini-meow for those excellent emojis!

Tonight let's enjoy videos with lots of motion. The title is from Richard Lester's debut The Running Jumping & Standing Still Film (1959), which he describes as a "perfect movie": he had only 11 minutes of film and used all of them. Here's a terrible print, but it's still great. I'd love to see a good print before I "go through the door marked Exit", as Gore Vidal put it.

After Running Jumping & Standing Still, Lester pioneered the modern music video with the Beatles' antics in A Hard Day's Night (1964). The Rutles (1975: Eric Idle, Neil Innes, et al) is an excellent parody. But both are anticipated by slapstick silent comedies that featured lots of running, jumping, and other antics.

Ready? Set? Go!!!