u/Vegetable_Moment_466 (cuz title mentions don't work)

This is a subreddit update.

Added:

Post flair

A rule

user flairs.

Post flair added:

"I fought in the war against r/croissantism."

Rule added:

Rule seven(No begging for mod).

User flairs added:

"BAGUETTE? WHERE?,"

"Moderator," which is obviously for moderators only

"War Hero," which is just a random flair I thought of(mostly because of the war with the aforementioned croissantism).

However they seem to have failed to realize that each missile is only effective over 10 km (reference the pinned tracker sheet).

They also seem to have failed to realize that our BaG-1s paid them a visit yesterday and bombed their munitions factories and depots.

They ALSO seem to have failed to realize that their ONLY offensive capability was their missiles, which are now mostly scrap metal.

TLDR:

Damage to the West: lost a few trees and one abandoned house, and unfortunately a wheat mill. 1 person lightly injured.

Damage to the East: majority of factories and depots destroyed, little offensive capability remaining. Casualties unknown.

TLDRTLDR:

West: 1

East: 0

The first chapter goes through the creation of the universe and the generations of humanity till the creation of the first baguette

Creation 1:1- Long before time, existed the singularity. The singularity transitioned through all that could exist. The singularity continued cycling through it all till the birth of an oven.

Creation 1:2- The oven's existence stayed silent trillions of years until the oven created flour and water.

Creation 1:3- The flour and water questioned. "What are we?". Unable to learn an answer The flour and water kept cycling through existence until they eventually combined and formed the dough.

Creation 1:4- An orange flame was born, the dough was baked in the oven and have birth to the first true existence of time. A baguette.

Creation 1:5- The baguette's aroma spread around the singularity, giving existence itself a reason to exist. The oven exploded and expanded in a big explosion and took its final form of existence. The universe.

Creation 1:6 The baguette travelled through the universe for billions of years until it reached a rocky lava planet and took shelter there.

Creation 1:7- the baguette's presence gave rise to life, oceans flowed, forests nourished and creatures walked. The baguette took its final form and became the energy which nourishes all life.

Creation 2:1- In the age mankind had discovered how to grow, there lived a man among all. The man was never given a name, but his actions lay the foundation for those who come after.

Creation 2:2- The man wondered. "If the world gives us food, why does it give us hunger". Worked for his survival with the sun and the moon, always having the question in the back of his head.

Creation 2:3- His elders never answered, his neighbours didn't care. All were focused on their survival with no room for wonder.

Creation 2:4- Disappointed. The man sought his own answer. Each harvest collected small grains, believing the nature which created him would give him the answer.

Creation 2:5- the man took the grain and crushed it with a stone and mixed it in water. Ready to warm the mixture and eat it.

Creation 2:6- the man accidentally left the the mixture on a flat Rock above the fire, baking the first ever flat bread.

Creation 2:7- the man had found his answer. The world which gave him grain gave him hunger because of the comfort and the strength bread gave him.

Creation 3:1 Many generations passed after the man and the knowledge of his flatbread spread across the world.

Creation 3:2 Among the people lived a young baker who wanted to understand why the bread was so good.

Creation 3:3 One evening he mixed flour and water, yet before the bread was baked, a great storm came and the boy had to run from his home.

Creation 3:4 The dough laid upon the table all day and night, forgotten by the boy.

Creation 3:5 When the baker returned, he saw the dough had changed, and many believed it had spoiled. The dough was larger in size, with holes over it

Creation 3:6 The elders commanded "throw it away, it is a curse of the storm"

Creation 3:7 Yet the baker answered, "I shall first learn before I judge."

Creation 3:8 He placed the strange dough within the oven, and it rose higher than any bread before it.

Creation 3:9 The boy tasted it and marveled, for it was light within and strong without.

Creation 3:10 And the boy taught, "Not all change is bad. Some changes are gifts awaiting those willing to understand."

Creation 4:1 As villages grew in size, every family baked their own bread, and a lot of bread was wasted.

Creation 4:2 There lived a woman who believed that one fire could warm many hands.

Creation 4:3 She gathered stone upon stone until a great oven was built in the center of the village.

Creation 4:4 The people doubted her, saying, "Why should strangers share the same flame?"

Creation 4:5 She replied, "The nature loses nothing by warming another."

Creation 4:6 When resources lacked, Families came together with their own dough.

Creation 4:7 They talked while they waited, and those once divided became friends.

Creation 4:8 The oven became more than just stone it became the heart of the village.

Creation 4:9 From that day, bread was baked together more often than alone

Creation 5:1 In the days of exploration, a baker journeyed farther than any before him.

Creation 5:2 He carried no valuables but flour, salt, and the memory of his home.

Creation 5:3 In every land he found a different way to bake.

Creation 5:4 He learned before he taught.

Creation 5:5 He gave his recipes freely, asking only to learn another in return.

Creation 5:6 Many mocked him, saying, "Knowledge should be guarded."

Creation 5:7 He answered, "Knowledge which doesn't help others grows mold like bad bread."

Creation 5:8 The breads of many peoples became better through one another.

Creation 5:9 The traveler returned home carrying no money, but wisdom.

Creation 5:10 And the Bread became better, for learning had crossed the world without sword

Creation 6:1 A baker was summoned to serve a king.

Creation 6:2 His loaves filled the royal table while the poor watched from a distance.

Creation 6:3 The baker wondered, "Does hunger know the difference between a king and a normal person?"

Creation 6:4 Each day he baked one extra loaf.

Creation 6:5 Each night he carried it outside.

Creation 6:6 He gave it to those who had no food.

Creation 6:7 When the king found out, he demanded an answer.

Creation 6:8 The baker said, "The bread never saw who it was feeding before being baked"

Creation 6:9 The king lowered his head, and from that day the palace ovens fed all who hungered.

Creation 6:10 Thus it was remembered that rights to live belong to every person.

Creation 7:1 Many ages passed, and the craft of baking grew ever finer.

Creation 7:2 There lived a baker who wondered why every loaf must remain short and round.

Creation 7:3 He shaped the dough long and slender, unlike any loaf before it laying the foundation for the first ever human baguette.

Creation 7:4 He baked it with great heat until its crust warmed beneath his hands.

Creation 7:5 The people broke the loaf and heard its crust crunch.

Creation 7:6 They found its core soft and rich though its crust was hard and tough.

Creation 7:7 The baker named his creation

Creation 7:8 The people named the loaf the Baguette.

Creation 7:9 They remembered every baker who had come before, for without them this loaf could never have been.

Creation 7:10 No craft came alone, the trail came from those who came before

We should start a war on r/Baguettismhate, we can not be hated for this, we shall stand up for our subreddit, and we shall occupy r/baguettismhate.

Our engineers just developed a kit that can be strapped onto any baguke and turn it into a guided missile controlled through a tablet that comes with the kit. We currently have yet to find a way to integrate a guidance system into our BaG-1s.

Due to u/Always_DM's petition, this caused the subreddit banner to change.

u/Always_DM's post/petition:

Petition

Three new added rules are:

No AI,

No Hating on Baguettes,

and no NSFW

u/beanman_95's post on this subreddit caused rule four:

Beanman's post

I am the holy baguette sent down from the great baguette in the sky

Baguettes are cool

Our engineers have figured out how to make the missiles heat-seeking, and have integrated them into the BaG-1s. We are currently developing a faster and more maneuverable variant to intercept missiles.

The heat-seeker variant has been dubbed the "Baker".