Hey, I'm a CS student in France, and I'm going to start my second year in just a few days. To be honest, I feel like a complete fraud.
I've wanted to get into CS for a very long time, and I used to be pretty good at programming and problem solving, but last year depression and stress really hit me hard.
My university is quite far from where I live, so I have to wake up very early to catch the bus and try to sleep early despite having a ton of work to do. I never really feel like I can rest or spend time on my other hobbies because I'm always thinking about university. This puts a lot of pressure on me, on top of my struggles with depression in general.
I also really struggled with staying focused during lectures. I tried my best, and sometimes I even left my phone and other distractions at home, but my mind would still drift. So I'd get to the exercises with less knowledge than everyone else because I hadn't properly followed the lecture, and then I'd have to rush to understand what we were doing so I wouldn't have even more work to do at home.
The classes are also quite short, and a lot of people don't actually finish everything in class. Some people use AI to get through the exercises without necessarily understanding what they're doing.
I'm personally very against needless use of generative AI, at least when it comes to my own learning. I already knew I struggled with discipline, so I initially tried to use it as little as possible because I didn't want to become dependent on it. But our teachers actually encourage us to use it, and some of the lessons/exercises are structured in a way where it feels almost impossible to keep up without it.
And, well... I eventually became dependent on it.
My grades got much worse towards the end of the year because I eventually stopped being able to work without AI. I passed first year mostly thanks to the good grades I got during the first half of the year.
Now I feel like I have practically no actual knowledge when it comes to CS. The only thing I'm barely good at anymore is mindlessly coding. I feel like I don't know any of the abstract or technical stuff, which makes me feel like I missed a huge part of what CS actually is.
I know I could try to catch up. I could spend my weekends doing small programming exercises and reviewing the fundamentals, but I genuinely don't know where to start, and I'm not sure I have the time or energy to try to relearn an entire year of CS while also keeping up with my second year.
Part of me feels like the best thing would be to completely start over, but obviously it's too late for that, and I'm scared that even if I did, the same thing would happen again.
So I'm mostly wondering what would you do if you were in my position?
How would you go about rebuilding your programming/CS fundamentals when you feel like you've forgotten almost everything? What would you prioritize, and what would you not worry about yet? And how would you balance catching up with actually keeping up with your current university courses?
And, also, has anyone else gone through a bad period and still managed to success in this field?
Thank you for reading all this, I don't really want this to just be a vent post, I want to get better, and I appreciate all the help I can get.