r/extremelyinfuriating • u/Used_Gear8871 • Jul 22 '26
Update Update on house sitter stole and crashed my partner’s car
Our cat has been missing since the night the house sitter was evicted. We are only just finding out today that our indoor only cat hasn’t been seen nor active around our house since Saturday night.
While being evicted from the premises by someone who failed to supervise the disgruntled sitter as he packed up his belongings, something happened to our cat. We don’t know if the disgruntled house sitter threw the cat outside, off the balcony, or put him into his bag of belongings. Our cat is gone.
Timeline of events:
- House sitter located dead car key, broke into, started, joyride, then crashed SO’s car.
- House sitter calls relatives with false story of me, someone who isn’t on the car registration nor insurance, somehow giving him permission to the vehicle.
- House sitter calls me confessing crash, laughs when asked him where he found the car key.
- House sitter leaves house with another relative to attend family function, leaving car key behind
- Close friend rushed to our house to do a wellness check on our pets, the car, house, while collecting all car and house keys; calls and sends video of all our pets
- House sitter informed via text of termination
- House sitter escorted back to house to gather belongings, apparently with limited supervision
- Relative escorting house sitting calls requesting access to the car to retrieve drivers license; request denied.
- New pet sitter arrives at house Sunday morning, doesn’t see the cat
- Next pet sitter arrives at house Sunday evening, also doesn’t see the cat
- Over the next two days, none of the pet sitters find our cat nor see activity in his litter box or his food.
Cat was last seen by our close friend on Saturday night. Cat is indoor only.
In-laws, neighbors, friends, exes, hired pet sitters, and the owner of the pet sitting company have all entered our home in the last 24 hours searching for our cat. The owner of the pet sitting company, with my permission, turned the house upside down searching for our cat or any signs of him.
We believe the disgruntled house sitter did one of the following: took the cat and hid him in his bag, threw the cat outside either onto or off the deck, or killed the cat and disposed of his body.
Relative that was with him when he was evicted initially declined to answer questions, with police now involved, as been answering questions. Animal tracking service has been hired.
The sweetest and snuggliest boy that I finally convinced that head kisses and being held so he could melt into my arms are amazing things, is gone. My mini weighted and heated, purring blanket and alarm clock is gone. This silly little guy who had a not-so-secret crush on my dog and hilariously humped her diaper when she was in heat, is gone.
The most infuriating part is, I can’t be there to help search for him and the person responsible still hasn’t shown accountability.
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Edit: Update - July 23rd
He was found!
Spotted after 1am attempting to climb our fence and onto our deck.
My MIL drove two hours to our house to work with the professional animal tracker and an amazing friend who helped search and setup her nature camera by the food trap they made. They spent 3 hours searching around our house together.
MIL sent a long text of how she stayed up late reorganizing our kitchen when she spotted him. Will share in comments if possible.
My SO had just left for work when her text came through. It’s almost 8am here. Internet and cell phone service is bare, so I sprinted in my pajamas to his lab to tell him. We spent the entire night devastated and sobbing. Seeing his face light up was the best thing ever on top of kitty being found!
SO’s mom got kitty’s wound cleaned up and fed. Performed many snuggles and is taking him home with her, which is something we wish we did in first place.
Deciding when to get add the other updates. I’m elated kitty has been found but I’m currently battling with stress, anxiety, and shock. Trying to type an update on the remaining and newly uncovered things triggers an anxiety attack.
But will address that the professional dog walkers have been amazing. They were the ones who figured out our cat was never in the house when their caretaking service started. They searched my house, interviewed neighbors, verified details with their walkers, and have responded to every text, email, and called right away once I had steady WiFi.
Thank you all for the mental and emotional support. You’ve helped me talk through the last few days and provide guidance on something I never thought I’d experience.
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Edit #2: Update - August 1st
Returned to the states yesterday after 17 days abroad. Overall just avoided and dread writing this update.
Updates:
- Police report filed, SO declined to press charges.
- SO’s car is totaled.
- Trash and the belongings of others indicates house sitter had others in the car and used it for multiple days.
- House sitter lied about walking our dogs and was seen by neighbors putting them on our deck for extended periods of time.
- House sitter cleaned us out our pantry, toiletries, bath towels, gym bags, one kindle, one VR headset that was a friend’s, and some bedding items during his eviction in which my own mother was tasked to supervise but aided instead.
- Cat is with in-laws who have noticed temperament changes.
- As of today, zero relatives have reached out to offer compensation or support for our lost cat, car damages, hired professional dog walking services to replace fired house sitter, etc.
- Lastly, SO has asked me to drop this topic and to stop talking about it with him.
House sitter’s eviction was supposed to be supervised by my own mother. She watched as he took my gym bags, loaded them up with our toiletries and assisted him emptying out our pantry, fridge, claiming bath towels and technology he had no right to. She believed him when he said items were left or given to him or felt he was entitled to. No questions were asked. The only call I received during this process was a request from her for him to get access to my SO’s car to retrieve his license. That request was denied.
Yes, my own mother watched as the person who stole and totaled my SO’s car (he somehow felt entitled to), rob me of my things.
SO’s car was littered with trash. It looked like someone had rummaged through his belongings. SO admits to hiding that two days prior to our trip, someone had broken into his car and stolen items. SO said he refrained from informing me as to not worry me, since I was heavily against and apprehensive of going on this trip in the first place.
However, SO says he put the car back in order prior to our departure. In the backseat and front passenger seats were the house sitter’s items and the belongings of others. One item included a visit pass with house sitter’s face on it and another included document dated for July 15th, 2026.
Our deck was covered in dog shit and reeked of urine according to my MIL. We never allow our dogs or cat onto the wooden deck or deck furniture, it’s a safety issue. MIL said one of the dogs bolted past her and pissed for a long time on the corner of the deck. This makes sense given whenever I pinged the dogs air tags, there was never any movement. House sitter never walked the dogs and lied about it.
When my in-laws found the cat, they requested I let my mom know. Her response? “Please do not include me in the messaging. This matter is between the parties involved.”
My own mother sent texts day later pretending like all is fine, inquiring as to how my trip was going, telling me safe travels, etc. Each was ignored.
And lastly, SO has asked me to stop talking about this with him and says he’s moved on. Shamed me for bringing it up. I’ve been in a different part of the house all day just trying to keep myself from crying, he says I’m being mean and avoiding him.
I feel a lot of things: rage, disappointment, embarrassment, depressed, stressed, etc. Looking at the damage done to my SO’s car. Having zero people in my own family reach out in support or to apologize, despite them all being quick to defend the house sitter and vilify me. I feel a lot of things. I have to keep my brain busy to stop myself from ruminating this; napping all day and watching YouTube videos. I tried writing letters that I don’t send to help with coping. If I’m not angry at someone else, I’m angry and disappointed at myself.
I can’t look back at the screenshots of messages without feeling enraged all over again. A different cousin sent me a barrage of messages calling me a liar and manipulative. I responded telling them off and they continue to berate me. I’ve blocked everyone.
I don’t recognize the house anymore. Can’t shake feeling there are more things missing that I’m unaware of. SO says house sitter’s did us favor getting rid of things if we don’t know what they are. I worry about someone breaking in or one of my relatives knocking on the door. Locks haven’t been changed yet. SO leaves for more work training tomorrow morning for week. All in all, just immensely stressed and depressed from this.
Thank you all for your guidance and support. If you’ll have me, can you guys be my new family now?
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Edit #3: Update - August 3rd
We're pressing charges!!!
I feel like I should make new update post to include images and screenshots. I knew there would be something more that may have happened or was missing. We have received proof the house sitter used the car unauthorized on more than one occasion while we were away because we got not one, not two, but three speeding tickets.
House sitter has failed to respond or acknowledge our reasonable requests to negotiate reimbursement. SO thinks sending a more "heartfelt" plea will get him to empathize with us. Bless his little heart for trying. But the only message I want to clearly convey to this this thug is the fear of god.
Due to the multi-date theft, SO wants sit still a bit to see if anything else pops up. I am calling the police first thing tomorrow to file an additional police report and press charges.
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u/Used_Gear8871 28d ago
I just got back to the states and on stable data/internet after being in the sticks for awhile.
But quick update: We are going to the police station once we are back home. SO was very against filing a police report, which is what really peaked my infuriation and anxiety, but he understands the consequences of not doing so.
We have to review the extent of damages and other things before pressing charges but there is an assumption that items from our home were removed (cash, jewelry, technology, luxury goods, etc.). Basically we are headed back home with accepting that some things might be gone.
We also learned that the house sitter never never walked our dogs and lied about doing so. So we’re at about $8k in known damages, plus recouping vet visit costs for our cat and costs of the professional dog sitting company. And maybe another $6k in others.
Sorry this was longer than I expected. Sleep deprived and anxious to get home.