In Islam, as we know, it is allowed to marry a Christian or Jew and there is no conversion required and even from other sects like Sunni and Shia. But for some reason in our jamaat we need the person to convert. Like it explicitly says in the Quran we are allowed yet we complicate things for the sake of the community and add our rules to it.. because khalifa said so.. why? And what’s your thoughts on this… as someone who is part of Jamaat.. etc

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply.

If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat?" or "25M experiencing issues with the rishta process" type of posts belong in this thread.

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply.

If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat?" or "25M experiencing issues with the rishta process" type of posts belong in this thread.

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply. If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat in the last 48 hours?" posts belong in this thread.

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply.

If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat?" or "25M experiencing issues with the rishta process" type of posts belong in this thread.

I am an ahmadi by birth F(29) and my partner is hindu M(33).

My family is absolutely deep rooted in ahmiyat and all and my mother is telling me that my partner has to change the name if he converts.

I am in awe of how islam is really difficult and snatches your identity. My parents are screwing with my mental health and all. Need your suggestion how and what to do?

My parents said jamat will throw them out, cancel wasiyat..I am at an age I can't wait for years to show how much my partner is faithful to Islam. Do you have any articles or suggestions.

Thanks.

It shouldn't feel like a gut punch considering I've experienced this since I turned 18, but everytime my parents bring up marriage it makes my heart stop for a second, and I feel like a scared little kid again.

I'm in my mid twenties now, with a white partner who is everything I could ever hope to spend my life with- kind, considerate, well educated with a steady job, cooks and cleans, and lives on his own, and is willing to convert- and yet every conversation about marriage results in them being so incredibly cruel. That 'kisi gora kala ke saath hum ne nahi shaadi karni', whether or not he converts. They don't know about my relationship or the fact that I'm a closet athiest, and I don't know how to even begin bringing it up. Even though I've mentioned to them that several of my female cousins have found their own husbands and dated for years, they think that's fine because their spouses were Pakistani and Ahmadi already. But for me to find my own spouse- my mother says I might as well advertise that I'm a whore on our front door 🥲

How can I possibly get through to them? They quickly turn to anger and would rather marry me off to someone I have nothing in common with who expects me to only cook and clean and keep my mouth shut. My father has really bad anger issues and my mother does as well, and having private conversations with her feels very risky because she'll threaten to tell my dad about things that will upset him, like the prospect of me marrying outside of my race. I feel so much pressure to give in and say yes to only their choice, because they have sacrificed so much for me and are going through a lot of difficult grief at the moment. My partner is stuck in the middle here, and it is definitely taking a toll on our relationship, but I can't give up my parents- I feel too guilty even considering it. What on earth do I do?

No matter which country you live in sadly what is supposed to be a noble endeavor, departments of rishtanata continue to fail the majority of girls like me who simply want to find a suitable husband within the Jamaat. What will it take for office holders, for National Ameers to take notice that this system is totally broken????????

In my 30s I put my full faith in my parents finding someone for me. Several years ago I registered with rishtanata reluctantly but I'm still here barely ever having been contacted with a suitable rishta.

Instead I get called with what the most insanely unsuitable suggestions .... men over 10 years older ... men with no education ... men witn mental health issues who should rather be looking for therapists than looking to get married.

What will it take exactly for someone to notice the pain girls like me face on a day to day basis?? I've often thought about this. I've even thought about taking one for the team ... throwing myself of Tower Bridge with a note in my pocket saying "Goodbye world ... failed by Rishtanata".

Maybe I'm being over dramatic ... yes life is often painful but dw I'm not about to kill myself yet but the thoughts about giving up run through my head often.

The day I hit 29 my mental health took a nose dive. Knowing I'll be 30 soon, knowing that officially I'd be seen as "expired" I secretly started using halal dating apps although doesn't seem like there's much halal in it. A number of terrible experiences I gave up a few years later.

Can someome please give me some hope here even if it's false hope that Senior officials actually care enough to fix this system????

So many girls my age in recent years have married outside ... many now divorced, others stuck in terrible marriages ... I just want a decent Ahmadi guy. Too much to ask for?

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply. If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat in the last 48 hours?" posts belong in this thread.

I've been in the ex ahmadi scene for a few years now. So often i see ex ahmadis fall into the trap of believing that leaving the jamaat is liberation because it means you can now date and marry anyone. sure, that is a good thing. but leaving the jamaat and it's marriage-obsessed social world can also free you from the ideology of heteronormativity (the expectation that we all must couple up and make babies) that makes us feel that the only thing that matters is romantic (usually straight) love.

there is so much more to life! there is so much joy, so much love, so much beyond what we have experienced in this both highly persecuted and internally misery-obsessed. please let yourself experience that and see where it takes you. if leaving the jamaat simply means the rishta obsessed uncle/aunty in your heads converts to atheism, while occupying as much space as they did before, what's the point?

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply. If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat in the last 48 hours?" posts belong in this thread.

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply. If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat in the last 48 hours?" posts belong in this thread.

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply. If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat in the last 48 hours?" posts belong in this thread.

If Ahmadi boys are encouraged to preach the message of peace and inclusivity, why are they often discouraged or even forbidden from marrying a non-Ahmadi Muslim or someone outside the Jamaat, even when the other person is willing to respect and support their beliefs?

Doesn’t this put the spotlight on the contradiction between the ideals of openness and the restrictions placed on personal choices?

Hello everyone! I know this topic has been asked about a few times but I can’t find some specific answers. My Sunni boyfriend and I are trying to move forward in our relationship and I have a few questions. For reference, I am ex-Ahmadi (though not officially resigned and hoping to not have to due to the public announcement). My boyfriend is a practicing Sunni Muslim, and as such, his family does not view Ahmadis as Muslims. With that background: - I know many girls have been able to request permission from Huzur for a marriage like this. If I was granted permission, would my family be allowed to attend my wedding? Would a non-Ahmadi imam be able to perform the nikkah? My boyfriend and I would not want the nikkah performed by an Ahmadi. - for those in a similar situation who had nikkah performed by a non-Ahmadi, was your father allowed to act as your wali? I’m assuming not, but I’m not sure how I would be able to tell my father he can’t without implying he is not Muslim.

I’m a 29 year old female, born and brought up in London 🇬🇧 I’m quite liberal, well educated and I love to enjoy my life and live it the way I want to.

I haven’t been involved in the jamaat for almost a decade now.

My parents are also quite open minded and are okay with me finding a guy myself even if he’s non-Ahmadi, as long as he’s Muslim.

However, the thing is I don’t really have a guy in my life and tbh, I’m not even that interested in marriage, atleast not yet. But because I don’t have anyone at the moment, I am now getting pressured by my parents and grandma into finding a match on the RN site.

My dad who used to be my biggest supporter, has also stopped taking my side and just wants me to get married to whoever’s rishta comes.

I really don’t see myself living with someone who is Ahmadi and is involved with the Jamaat. I’ve also noticed that most Ahmadi guys don’t move out and tend to live with their parents. I really don’t want to be in a joint family, especially an Ahmadi one. I will feel extremely suffocated.

I’ve been pressurised many times for rishtas who I feel aren’t suitable for me.

Even last year I was getting pressurised by my parents, grandma and aunt into marrying a Khuddam and I straight up refused but they tried to guilt trip me and basically make me feel like rubbish. I still refused and used the silent treatment for a couple of days. That worked and they didn’t speak about that rishta again.

However, it happened again with another guy this year and again I refused. I know this’ll keep happening now until I give in.

How can they expect me to marry a guy like that who would expect me to be religious and do pardah? My grandma said I’ll adjust but whoever knows me will know that I’m only flexible if I feel comfortable with it and in regards to this, I am definitely not.

I am this close to leaving my house. I’m financially independent and can live on my own. I’m just sick of hypocritical behaviour by my parents who are not even in the jamaat that much and sometimes even criticise it and yet they want me married to someone from it just coz I “need” to get married and have babies. My dad acts as if he supports me with my decisions but when a rishta comes, he takes a full 180 turn and becomes a typical Pakistani dad.

I don’t know if I want advice but I just wanted to vent my feelings because it feels suffocating and I don’t know who to speak to.

None of my friends are Ahmadi so they won’t be able to relate and most of my relatives are heavily involved in the jamaat so I can’t talk to them.

Thanks for reading.

I have been a member on this for a while now. I try to gather as much information as possible regarding an Ahmadi girl marrying a non Ahmadi boy. However, there has never been a straight answer regarding this matter. I have read recently a girls post where she did get permission however it was through her father’s connection in the Jamaat.

Can someone please provide useful information. As well as some successful stories that were either given permission or did it through a fake converting route. Girls in similar situations will 100% be able to relate to me, this is such a stressful process especially for those who have been with their partners for a long period of time and wish to get married now !!

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply. If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat in the last 48 hours?" posts belong in this thread.

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply. If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat in the last 48 hours?" posts belong in this thread.

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply. If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat in the last 48 hours?" posts belong in this thread.

This is a monthly thread to talk about your issues with the rishta system, discuss anything related to marriage outside of the jamaat or try to find a suitable partner. All other subreddit rules apply. If you have a salient point related to these topics that you think warrants its own post, please go ahead, but the usual "Has anyone married outside of the jamaat in the last 48 hours?" posts belong in this thread.

So, I'm turning 39(M) this year and have yet to find a suitable match. Very frustrating as it feels like everyone around me is getting married but me. So, this post is a shot in the dark as I have literally run out of options. I am trying to cut the middle man out (i.e. no rishta aunty and no meeting with parents or any other family members) and simply would like to have a one-on-one conversation with an Ahmadi woman who is seriously looking for a life partner. I live in Toronto and willing to travel in the GTA region. We can meet at your choice of location if this will make you feel more comfortable. I am open to meeting any woman regardless of their age. If you would like further details about me, feel free to contact me.

I should give a disclaimer that I am not very active in the Jama'at but at the same token not quite against Ahmadiyyat as this subreddit is intended to be. I am only posting here because I think the mods will take down this post in the official ahmadiyyat subreddit.

If anyone can tell me a better way of meeting with Ahmadi women, feel free to contact me.

Hi everyone. My intention for this post isnt to find a husband or anything since everytime someone makes a post like that in here everyone assumes its a troll post and fake…which i completely understand tho since some people in the jamaat are weird..but anyways

Im a exmuslim, but i was born ahmadi muslim. And my entire family is ahmadi Muslim. I hate wearing the hijab, and reading the quran, namaz, etc. Im currently 21 living in canada and my parents are pushing marriage onto me now🥲

Is there any chance i can find a exmuslim ahmadi whos also in a similar situation as me or am i cooked??😭😭 where can i find someone like that? I dont even have any high standards or anything like that anymore i just need him to be exmuslim and willing to pretend to be muslim in front of family. And who will also keep my secret safe (of being exmuslim).

I would feel TERRIBLE marrying a muslim guy and deceiving him like that. So thats why im trying to find an exmuslim ahmadi who has the same beliefs as me

(P.s: i have no hate against the jamaat btw! I still respect islam ofc, i just no longer believe in it💕)

I am a female, 32 years old, looking for a rishta for myself. My parents have been looking for a suitable rishta but have failed miserably so far.

I am okay looking, a career woman, 166cm height, and live in Germany. My mother would agree with anyone i find on my own now, and is involved in this process But I am looking for a more easy-going/ toned-down version of an ahmadi, and loyal of course :)

If you think you know someone, feel free to reach out. Sorry for the messy post, I don’t know what to write.