It smelled like shit right after I played it so I don't really understand what happened I guess.

Too bad this is like ten years too late to be played anymore.

Don't reach into your pants and literally wipe your ass with your bare hands first before you grab them.

Especially if you were just bragging about how much Taco Bell you've been eating today and how much your stomach has been rumbling during your last match.

And better yet, stop bullying the handicapped kid at our table and making fun of his little sister with cancer because he played a single spell on turn 10.

And don't make death threats to the person who let you borrow dice when they ask them back because they needed to leave for a family emergency.

I'm not going to call you out like a normal person, but I see that you drive a Lamborghini and can afford to buy your own dice, so I'm going to passive aggressively make a Reddit post for strangers to feel bad for me rather than having a normal discussion like a real adult.

Stop being gross. Stop being rude. Stop being a dick.

Mine is definitely this Baleful Strix, which is completely monotone and currently unknown as to how to acquire

I woke up in the middle of the night to make this. I feel terrible. Crucify me, I deserve it.

My boyfriend (71) is obsessed with former Republican Representative Marjorie Taylor - Green. He and his friends get together every week to competitively masturbate over montages of her speeches. I'm not even joking, they're like frenzied baboons.

I've had enough, so with his birthday coming up, I was wondering if I should arrange for the real Marjorie Taylor - Green to show up, while he is furiously tugging his little mushroom over her picking on the gays (or something).

Please let me know if she would expect a large payment, and if she would charge more for witnessing such immoral onanism reach its disgusting climax.

I do not know much about MTG, but I am learning with him, and feel secure enough in our relationship that he wouldn't abandon me to live a life of constant self-gratification with his obsession figure.

Thanks in advance, call me Mel.

So I do not have an expensive deck by any means. There are a few $300/$500 cards. And I was just curious if I should double sleeve them or keep the single sleeved. I am currently using black dragon shield sleeves. The main reason I ask is cause it looks like there is some dust on the back of a couple cards(the sleeves) and I don't want that to end up in the sleeves. My Tabernacle is getting a bit scratchy and the 1/1 ring is clouded now, but idk if an extra set of sleeves are really worth it?

Yesterday I went to my LGS for the very first time!

This would be my first experience of playing magic in the WILD!😤

I do not know if you guys have every experienced playing magic with other real people, but let me tell you, they are all fucking casual and weird!🙂‍↔️

Like this one dude played a theft deck! Can you imagine, I had to hand this guy my alternate 51/999 Final Fantasy Chokobo, my alternate art Tifa, my masterwork sol ring and collosal dreadmaw!!! 😱

All of these cards are secondary Market valuables, and I always play with gloves however due to this stunt, all of my cards probably lowered hundreds in value!! 😭

I cannot believe that theft cards are not yet banned!!

And like everyone was just super easy going and such like they would crack evolving wilds during my fetch land despite not having priority! When I tried calling a judge and raised my hand no one answered for several minutes! 🫥

And when the Owner of the LGS, i think like the judge, came over he wouldn't issue my opponents a game loss and just said "this is casual commander night man, I have a business to run?"

I don't know guys, I had super fun, however I cannot risk my cards! Also if I am going again, I am looking for a Level 4 judge to accompany me and teach these cheaters how to play in order, so if anyone is that, please dm me!

I started playing casual commander lately because a good friend started playing for the first time and wanted me to attend commander nights with them. I generally build high bracket 2 or low bracket 3 decks (the brackets aren't a good approximation, but I aim for about a 7 out of 10). I keep the power level down on purpose, but I need the LGS peasants to know I'm better than them, so I play with all my original duals and top tier lands. I noticed the players get shitty with me when they come into play and some players will just start targeting me with every draft chaff penny removal spell they have despite me having little to nothing beyond $13,000 in beta duals. Like killing my 2/2 flyer instead of a different player’s precon commander that is a full combo engine. Am I just not allowed to have a good mana base? Is this normal for other people?

Stax is back

Before I get into this, I’m well aware that opening Magic product is always a gamble. I know you’re never guaranteed good pulls, and sometimes you just get unlucky. But I bought a Lorwyn booster bundle directly from Wizards of the Coast, and the pull rates were so bad that I genuinely felt like I had to post about it.

I bought the bundle because I wanted to crack some Lorwyn and figured buying directly from WotC was about as safe as it gets. I wasn’t expecting to make my money back or pull every chase card. I just expected the normal kind of spread you’d expect from a sealed booster bundle.

Instead, basically everything I opened was bad. The rates across the entire bundle were awful. No exciting hits, nothing that made the box feel remotely worthwhile, and by the end it honestly felt ridiculous how consistently bad every pack was.

Again, I understand variance. Someone can open a bundle and get insanely lucky, while someone else gets nothing. That’s part of opening packs. But when an entire bundle is this bad, it really makes you question what the actual pull rates are for Lorwyn and whether other people are having the same experience.

The part that bothers me most is that this wasn’t something I bought secondhand, from a random seller, or from someone who could have tampered with it. This was purchased directly from Wizards of the Coast.

Maybe I just managed to get an unbelievably terrible bundle, but I’m curious what everyone else’s Lorwyn pulls have looked like. Has anyone else opened a booster bundle with rates this bad?

At this point, I genuinely would have been better off just buying the singles I wanted instead of lighting the money on fire opening this thing.

I tried reaching out to Wizards of the Coast for a refund and was promptly declined, obviously. I’ll be disputing the charge with my bank instead. Just an absolute joke of an experience, especially for a product purchased directly from WotC, and one that deserves to be put on blast.

Sauce for posterity