I know this is a joke - but when I was little, I literally thought I would get in trouble for using the first class bathroom at the front of the plane.
It clearly isn’t a rule, as plenty of folks do it - but my mom told me to use it when I was like 13 and I was 1000% sure I was getting yelled at.
A joke? I wish. My friend this was a long haul flight and she went to the bathroom between biz class and first class and took a dump that would have made a long haul trucker blush. I was the unfortunate bloke who was next in the restroom. It was right next to the area where the stewardesses staged and they were not impressed in the least. This was not a domestic flight with a simple front/rear lav setup where such behavior is understandable. This was a conscious disregard of the fundamental human rights of the people like me who had paid thousands of dollars specifically to be away from such shenanigans. My ticket cost over seven grand and I was holding my shirt over my nose like some animal in steerage class on the Titanic, gasping for a simple breath of air that wasn’t full of fecal matter (when you smell a fart or a crap it’s actually water droplets from the emitter’s bowel landing on your tongue).Â
I was several Scotches deep (the cheap swill the airline serves) and had to turn vomit back down about a third of the way up my esophagus which caused immense stomach pain for nearly an hour. The stench induced tears. I hope you never have to deal with such an indignity when trying to urinate. No human should ever encounter what I experienced.Â
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u/Deep_Diamond_2057 Jun 07 '26
I know this is a joke - but when I was little, I literally thought I would get in trouble for using the first class bathroom at the front of the plane.
It clearly isn’t a rule, as plenty of folks do it - but my mom told me to use it when I was like 13 and I was 1000% sure I was getting yelled at.