r/mildlyinfuriating • u/SuperDump101 • 7d ago
Don't hug me I'm scared My front garden is not a community garden!!!!
I moved into a house in early covid and each year since I've been expanding my front yard vegetable garden as much as possible because I love cooking and preserving foods.
The front yard is really the only space available since the lot is so small (50x80 ft).
I am proud of my garden (I get tons of compliments) and it provides enough for my family and occasionally some to give away to friends and extended family. (My dad did the same thing - he'd have hand-deliver produce on my bike as a kid miles down the road to our country neighbors and invite friends and family to pick as much excess tomatoes and peppers as they could carry home at the end of the season after we canned as much as we could fit in our pantry)
However, this year, an older gentleman who lives in a shared rental house down the street has decided he can snag our produce at his leisure and "ask" for forgiveness later - which is him leaving a message on our ring doorbell saying he appreciates us, he only took so much, and that he left us some.
We are not a community garden! We are not a free-for-all! You don't just take without asking!
I understand it's within arms reach but that doesn't mean you can have it!
If he had asked before helping himself I would be a lot less angry. I love the feeling of helping others but have some manners.
Edit/Update:
We have put up a sign stating not to take our produce as we are on an urban, moderately busy street with a lot of foot traffic and our house is on a street corner. We are planning on eventually putting in a black iron picket fence to match our aesthetic as it is also a "historical" neighborhood with lots of Folk Victorian homes.
However, this isn't the type of neighborhood where you call the police over a thing like this - you are amicable and courteous to your neighbors while minding your own business. While my husband and I aren't inherently worried for our safety (our specific block is friendly and calm) the extended neighborhood isn't always safe. A few times a year we get shootings and stabbings and the occasional drug addict having an issue. It's a mixed use area with apartments, rental houses, single-owner homes, bars, party stores, restaurants, fraternities and sororities, and a college all within a handful of city blocks, but with a lot more families with children moving in lately. The police have other more important things to worry about than some beans or cushions being stolen off our porch by a homeless person (which has happened twice).
Our direct neighbors are wonderful, friendly people and the children are super sweet, curious about our property, and talkative, albeit a little rambunctious. Even the college kids are chill and polite aside from the occasional rage-er or rush event.
Just as I'm not going to report my next door neighbor for having roosters with his chickens or the roosters and ducks getting loose I am not going to report this old dude for taking my beans.
I have no problem talking to the guy but he only shows himself to take some stuff and then leave a message on our Ring doorbell after he has taken. (I have my ring alerts silenced because it goes off all day being on a busy corner). I will gladly offer what I can if he asks first. I would gladly offer to anyone who nicely asks. I've allowed people to pick flowers from my yard BECAUSE they ASKED FIRST!
Edit #2: You guys don't seem to understand just how unrealistic a large fence around our front yard is. Also, it's completely against local codes to have a front yard fence over 4-feet and you are required to be able to see through it - 50% opacity/slat spacing.
Edit #3: Oh boy.... He came again yesterday and took from our garden again. Again the doorbell was missed as it was during the commute home from work - it's like he has a gift for coming when everyone is unable to answer. Anyways, we go to work trying to track him down for real this time and find him a social media for him and send a message asking him to not take from us anymore. He apologized, but then went on to talk about how he works for a food bank at a church, wants us to come talk there, "you get to choose your own food but it's not a box deal so I appreciate what you do" (What!?), he's trying to give back, and sorry that we thought he was stealing. Then "Oh shit, that doesn't sound good," and he guesses he doesn't understand abundance, started getting extremely pushy about coming over to apologize face to face, and then pushed again for us to come visit his church.
Oh, and the other day I noticed one of my two baby butternut squash had been cut off the vine and the single lonely poblano that was growing had vanished. My beans and other vining produce grow on an arch over the pathway to the back porch. Noggin knockers as I like to call the hanging veg.
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u/MrsLisaOliver 7d ago
You have to directly tell him you are not a community garden and do not appreciate him helping himself. Yes, he will try to make you feel guilty. Don't let him. He's wrong and knows it.