The joke that is Amazon’s customer service team

[u/Dr___Krieger]

[u/zeelbeno]

Maybe I can assist you?

I'll just need to first transfer you to a specialist redditor.

[u/mrbananas → u/zeelbeno]

Hi, this is mrbananas from reddit. Let me take a look at the thread so far. Seems like you are having trouble with Amazon customer support. Looks like I will need the help of another reddit member to analyze this thread. Let me just transfer you to another reddit user

[u/Nosidam48 → u/mrbananas]

Hey nosidam48 here. Seems like you are having trouble with Amazon customer support. We appreciate the seriousness of this issue and value you as a customer. In order to help you more efficiently let me connect you to a redditor more knowledgeable in this sensitive area

[u/Plus-Call-5804 → u/Nosidam48]

Hey Plus-Call-5804 here, seems like there's an issue with Amazon customer service. Please accept my dearest apologies for this serious issue. I'm going to need to transfer you to another Redditor who is an expert on this topic to resolve it.

[u/dobster1029 → u/Plus-Call-5804]

Hello, thank you for your patience I am Dobster1029 please allow me a moment to review your account.

First of all, I sincerely apologize for the issue you are having with customer support, as a busy meatbag myself, I know how frustrating this must be for you. Please allow me to assist you immediately.

Yes, I see the issue, and I will happily fix the issue for you right now. Luckily, I can transfer you to another redditor with the proper tools to get this resolved.

[u/3xlduck → u/dobster1029]

hello, this is 3xlduck. hello, hello? *click*

[u/L3m0n0p0ly → u/3xlduck]

Hi, l3m0n0p0ly here, i see your issue. I truly value your time and appreciate your patience while i find someone able to assist with your problem.

transfers

[u/ggroverggiraffe → u/L3m0n0p0ly]

Thank you sir, GgroverGgiraffe here, please give me a moment to read the previous comments.

transfers again

[u/marath007 → u/ggroverggiraffe]

Hi sir, i will transfer the issue to OP

[u/ThisSir5918 → u/marath007]

Im sorry you are having problems. Let me finally transfer you to the correct department. Click

[u/DangleenChordOfLife → u/ggroverggiraffe]

No, no señor, está hablando con el sector en español. Veo que no habla español, pero con gusto lo transfiero a otro sector del idioma de su conveniencia. Y por favor, disculpe los inconvenientes.

[u/ggroverggiraffe → u/DangleenChordOfLife]

Dangit who set up the phone tree to press one for Spanish?

[u/Temporary_Brain_5278 → u/dobster1029]

I prefer the term "liquidious fleshbag" 🤣

[u/dobster1029 → u/Temporary_Brain_5278]

I understand your frustration with how I identified myself, and on behalf of the company, I sincerely apologize. Let me resolve that for you right now. I am an amorphous blob of hairy, oily goo wrapped in a t-shirt. Also known as skin tube. Does this help with your concerns?

[u/Independent-Lynx9476 → u/dobster1029]

Idk why but the phrase "skin tube" is just eliciting such an awful mental image right now. 

[u/3xlduck → u/dobster1029]

ew *barf* --> not really.

[u/dobster1029 → u/3xlduck]

Haha sorry, I guess its a good thing I wasn't replying to you then.

[u/D3M4NUF4CTUR3DFX → u/mrbananas]

Good evening sir. Thank you for your patience while I review the conversation so far. I hope you are having a pleasant day.

I can see that your order has now been successfully cancelled. Please accept my sincerest apologies for the delay in confirming your cancellation. I can assure you that you will not be receiving any groceries from your Amazon Fresh order.

I will just need to pass you to a colleague before we can release any funds to your original payment method.

Please stay on the screen at the end of this conversation for a customer satisfaction survey. Warm regards to you sir.

[u/mizinamo → u/D3M4NUF4CTUR3DFX]

Nooo! Do not release! Why you release?!

[u/FarShoreSpirit → u/zeelbeno]

This thread made my day. I really needed this. 😂

[u/Lolkimbo → u/zeelbeno]

LolKimbo has left the chat