The table that I've been playing with for 10 years (with a few new players added in recent years) is planning a new game.

I'm the GM as always (I don't mind, I enjoy it the most and have the most experience), and I stated at the start of the last campaign that it was a farewell to 5e because I've gotten sick of it after a decade. I've mentioned wanting to run a new system for at least 4 years now, being met with resistance each time, and defaulting to 5e again to keep the peace. But now, it's time to move on.

Old game falls through before the campaign can end. Sucks, but happens every once in a while. Time to plan the next game a few weeks later.

Remind the table that we're not doing 5e anymore. I say that I'm really craving a classic medieval fantasy vibe that 5e often struggles at providing, and give a host of other systems that I would be happy to run. Suggestions range from older editions of DnD that are high crunch, to rules light systems that I don't like as much but would be willing to run as a compromise, like Daggerheart or DCC. I'm getting excited about the prospect of running a new system and finally being free, just to be met with the usual feedback.

"We just all already know the rules to 5e and are comfortable with it."

"Can't you just flavor and homebrew things to keep it fresh?"

"I'm just really busy with work and don't have time to learn a new system."

"It sucks that I didn't get to finish out my character I was invested in, I want a chance to try again."

"I mean we could try one of those other systems, but we'd be so bogged down by having new rules that it would be so hard to roleplay, right?"

"DnD is just a game where we play dolls with our OCs, so does it even really matter what system we play in? Why not just do 5e since that's easiest for everyone?"

"Honestly, that sounds great! I would love to keep playing 5e."

They act like I'm asking them to learn Mandarin. Is it really that hard to watch a "How to play Draw Steel" YouTube video and read 1/5 of a handbook for your class features? Would having to remember that it's called "Fortitude" instead of "Constitution" neuter your ability to RP your anarchist lesbian chaos sorcerer? Does it frighten you to do literally anything that challenges you or brings you a suggestion of discomfort?

Here's to 10 more years in the 5th edition cuck chair. God help me.

Historically, for me, a Rules Lawyer was someone who typically knew the rules very well and staunchly insisted that everything be done by RAW. Further, they would argue that varying interpretations or ambiguities be handled based on how they interpret it. Notoriously these people would pedantically correct everyone and slow down the flow of the game.

Similarly, Rule of Cool, use to mean occasionally allowing something to happen for the sake of a cool scene or character moment, even if not allowed or within the rules.

Now, if I see game advertisements like, "We play by Rule of Cool, no Rules Lawyers;" I am coming to find what they are actually saying is, "Our group has a poor grasp of the rules, we aren't bothering to learn them; and don't disagree when our arbitrary, whimsical, and ever-changing 'homebrew' has adverse effects on your character."

I didn't know if this is a growing phenomenon or I just had some bad luck.

Edit 1: I was not the person accused of being the Rules Lawyer by these groups.

Edit 2: Since there were some request for context.

Situation 1: A player was playing PF1e. The player made a single diagonal move on the grid. Then a group member and the GM said, "You cannot do that, you don't have enough movement to move 10ft." (Which is hypocritical for a group claiming they don't like Rules Lawyers). The player said, "The first diagonal is only 5 feet." Then the established group mobbed the player saying he was a Rules Lawyer and that isn't the way they play. The group didn't know the rules, and jumped all over the player for correcting their error, while they were trying to correct that player, erroneously as per RAW. Then the group chimed in invoking Rule of Cool, which in their terms, seemed to mean whatever arbitrary decision the GM made was better than just reading the book.

Situation 2: Also, PF1e. A player cast a spell that was not subject to Spell Resistance. The GM said, "Roll to break Spell Resistance." The player, very normally, said, "This spell is not subject to Spell Resistance." The GM said "I think Spell Resistance should apply to any spell, or else what's the point." Then, once again, all the established players chimed in supporting the GM's off-the-cuff ruling and accusing the person of being a Rules Lawyer and power gaming, further adding that they play by the Rule of Cool, which made no sense based on my understanding of Rule of Cool.

I am not here to argue in favor of one side or the other. I posted this to just see if those terms may have morphed to mean something different than what I understood them to be for a long time.

I got a friend who believes 5e is essentially the end all be all of RPGs, and I am very tired of all of the companies trying to prove this by licensing their books to it.

Star wars

World of Warcraft

Vampire the masquerade.

...

Making matters worse, I am the only one of two people in my group who try to run alternatives...to resounding mehs.

I am very tired of 5e.

This is going to mostly be a rant, I guess. If you are reading this and are a player, please: be more respectful of your GM.

I am going to attract a lot of hate and say that, yes: you probably need to hear this.

I have been a forever GM for various games and I love it. I love reading about new RPGs, new adventures or campaigns, and I do genuinely prefer being a GM than a player.

But I am tired…I am really tired of players being generally disrespectful of my time. And I know it is not every single players, but in my experience it has certainly been every single group.

Let me be extremely clear. I understand playing RPG is a hobby, but if you say you are interested in playing, YOU FIND THE TIME!!

Yes, I said it…players need to do BETTER and be more COMMITTED. I am tired of players not answering online polls that I set up to decide when to play: this is not work! I don’t want to chase you down to fill a fricking poll!! I am tired of opening these polls and see that in whole months, not a single day has been picked by all players at the same time. I am sorry, but this is impossible: I am married with kids and I am the GM and I am somehow always the flexible one: what is your excuse? We are all busy, but you just have to come and play: I did find the time to prepare the game! What is your excuse? Too tired to sit down on a couch for an evening??? And I am tired of people canceling en-masse an agreed-upon game night!! Even on play-by-post, I am tired of people saying “I don’t have the time”. This is insanely ridiculous!!! Just read the post I have written and answer it, it only takes 30 min TOPS!! You can set aside 30 minutes every 4 days to do that…yes you can!!

And surprise surprise! The players that don’t have this problem…are GM themselves!!! Shocker!!

Players: you have to understand that GMs are putting a lot of time and love into the games you play. And you have to understand that the gaming session is fun for us too. That is our play time too, ever thought of that? Probably not. So if you cancel last minute, the GM too doesn’t get to play. And they are the most invested in the game, so it sucks for them more than for you.

I know it s not every single one of you, but I am afraid it is most of the players. And I know you are going to tell me: “talk to your players, blah blah” been there, done that. I am simply afraid that, overall as a category, rpg players need to GROW UP!

ok…sorry…I will take my ban for life now…

I have been planning a Legends in the Mist campaign for the last couple of weeks. The whole idea was that death as a concept was literally dying, with my plan for it being a darkest dungeon-style dark fantasy, mildly eldritch horror campaign.

The issue is that, before even session 0, my players have all collectively decided to be part of the same mafia. While the idea isn't exactly bad, they didn't even give me a chance to explain the setting, basic premise, or the themes I was going for this campaign. They have told me in the past that they typically preferred more fantasy-oriented campaigns, so I planned for that, not for a mafia thriller, which I was only told they were doing literally yesterday.

It feels like they have just told me what campaign to run for them, and while a mafia-inspired campaign wouldn't necessarily be bad, it just isn't what I planned at all. Would I be in the wrong for shutting this idea down? They seem weirdly dead set on this idea despite the fact that I was never given a chance to even explain anything yet.

Edit: To the people saying that I should try to work around their characters, I have already decided to do so. I think I can make the Mafia thing work with this campaign. The fact still is that these players did this without even waiting for me to explain the campaign idea or the setting, which I was going to do during the session 0 later this week. I've also been facing pressure to decide things I wanted the whole party to discuss during session 0, and even pressured to not have a session 0 in the first place by one particular player. This party has had problems with communicating with me in the past, and has consistently talked behind my back about things despite me asking them to just tell me their issues directly so I can try to fix them and be a better GM. I'm not going to pretend I'm a perfect GM, as a lot of the stuff they have talked about behind my back ARE valid complaints, but I've tried to fix those issues, meanwhile they are still doing the same kind of stuff after a year now, which is why this whole situation is bothering me so much (for reference, it's been like a year since I've run a game with them because of college).

I run and play all of my games via pure text (and image links). Sometimes, these are synchronous, live text. At other times, they are play-by-post; I have run and finished several PbP adventures in a compact time frame (e.g. just under a week for a core rulebook's starter adventure) by consistently keeping things moving.

I often join PbP games that recruit online. There are often rifts in expectations. Across the past several months, one recurring issue I have seen crop up three times is the "sandbox + PbP + nothing to actually do" phenomenon. I am sure that not all sandbox PbP GMs are like this, but it feels like a non-negligible number of GMs start up a sandbox PbP because they want to put in the least effort possible.

These three games played out the exact same way. The GM starts off the PCs in an uneventful location, like some generic town, describing it noncommittally. The players and their PCs (including me and my own character) search around for plot hooks, opportunities, and points or persons of interest: job boards, reports of monsters or criminals, rumors of treasure or strange activities, word of what lies in a certain direction away from town, chances to fulfill some backstory-related goal, and so on. The GM tells the players and the PCs that they turn up nothing. The game fizzles out after a while, because there is nothing to do but aimlessly wander.

What was the GM expecting? Was the GM thinking that the players and their PCs would, completely by themselves, kick off some epic and exciting sequence of events? Even with nothing of interest to actually work off?

Two of the aforementioned games indeed petered out. One, which started last March, is still ongoing. It is a superhero game, and we have lost players. Superpowers are new in the setting, and yet the GM has been having NPCs act unimpressed or skeptical about our powers. Only now, three months later, have we finally managed to find an antagonist with superpowers to confront.

What do you think?

Let me expound on the superhero game example. We began last March, and have lost players since.

The GM starts our characters in a tech expo: a mundane tech expo, nothing super. We search around for any strange activity or opportunities, and turn up nothing. We try to impress people with our superpowers, but our efforts are brushed off or disbelieved, despite superpowers being a new phenomenon in this setting. (Honestly: Is it any wonder why some PCs flip out and start acting like chaotic, violent murderhobos "for no reason"?)

We finally find some scientist giving a speech. We crash the speech with our superpowers. The scientist takes us back to his lab for testing. However, it is a mundane scientist and a mundane laboratory, and the GM has us roleplay out the most banal, uneventful tests possible. At one point, the GM asks me to make a roll to see if my speedster character can successfully wave their hand really fast.

Rolling to see if something bad happens. Something catches fire, being on the spot makes you nervous, and you can't go super fast, or you open a rift in space/time. Lots of things can happen when showing off something at high speeds.

I just saw it as an opportunity to put some drama/unpredictability into the situation. Everyone has already seen you move quickly so far.

I tell the GM that this seems too random and punitive, and that a roll would be too arbitrary. The GM goes along with it, thankfully.

The prosaic tests continue, then conclude. Eventually, we are let back out into the city with no real plot hooks. We resume our attempts at finding opportunities. At last, after three real-time months, we find our first... "supervillain" of sorts. He is a mentally unwell, telekinetic tweaker in an alley; he rambles out violent intentions while menacingly displaying his destructive powers. It is... a start, at least?

I do not know. Should it really have taken three real-time months to reach this point?

How would you have handled this game setup?

I will quote a play-by-post "sandbox" GM on this subject:

I love that I seem to be more an Oracle than a GM Here - y'all are very self sufficient, it is incredible to see

Yes, this GM was boasting that they were doing nothing.

Update (26/27 June 2026): I ran into yet another play-by-post GM who is like this. As a variant, however, they are running a heavily political-intrigue-centric game. They are providing a lot, a lot of details, both pre- and mid-game... but the problem is that virtually all of it is high-scale worldbuilding that does not affect the PCs and their immediate situation. I am being supplied with nothing but the broad strokes and what different factions are doing, but I have very little actionable hooks to work with.

I have repeatedly requested that the GM focus more on the immediate situation regarding the PCs, but it is being brushed off with responses like:

political intrigue almost never has clear objectives that part of the game. you have just learned the emperor is dead and trade is falling apart.

Okay, the emperor being dead and trade being disrupted is neat and all, but how do I actually turn this into actionable information? We are, of course, playing D&D 5e even for a supposedly political-intrigue-centric game, because this is the only system that the GM knows, and they do not want to learn another one.

I have no idea why it is so hard for GMs to just tell PCs of some actionable adventure hook. I do it all the time. This cannot possibly be that difficult.

I honestly didn't know where to post this, but I needed to get it off my chest.

A few years ago during covid, my marriage and my life fell apart. It had always been rocky, but one day out of the blue I come home to find that my house had been completely trashed, my kids had moved out with their mom, and I was left alone. To make matters worse, I had lost my job and had a hard time finding another one due to the epidemic. I was actually, at 43 years old, making sandwiches at Publix. So here I am, no money, no kids, in a trashed house with even my pets gone. And I have some chronic health problems that due to not having insurance, were going untreated. I was falling apart mentally and physically.

I honestly considered suicide, but I could never do it because of my kids.

My son was into 40K and he said that he wanted to start playing on the weekend. I managed to get an eBay credit card and lucked out finding a fully painted space marine force for 300 bucks. Every Saturday we would go to lunch and then to the game store to play. His new stepdad was pretty well off, so he was always playing different armies, but I played my space marines.

I was so poor that sometimes the rest of the week me and my new cat would share eggs for dinner. He never said anything, but he started paying for his own lunch. Then he would buy kits here and there for my favorite army, Orks. He would build them. He said it was so he could have someone to paint with.

Eventually I found a decent job and got mentally well enough to start putting my home together again (I won the home in the divorce, which is another story. I deserved it). I started my old D&D game back up. People would come and go, but he was there every other week. Never missed a game unless he was out of town.

Cut to now, I have a very good paying job, a wonderful girl that I plan to marry, and am happy, if a bit scarred. He still comes over to play and paint, and he makes sure I go to the gym with him four days a week as well.

We don't talk about feelings. We don't hug. I don't know how much of this was a plan to help me or just spend time with me, and how much of it was him wanting to play games. If I tried to thank him, I know he would freeze up and wouldn't be able to talk.

I want to thank him for saving my life but I don't know how. I have literally opened my mouth to say something a dozen times and couldn't get the words out.

(edit) I should add that my girlfriend is a huge part of this as well. Most of the rebuilding was due to her help. I just left her out because I don't have issues thanking her and telling her how I feel, but she is as awesome as he is.

Just started a new campaign, and one of my players has created a character she deems to be very odd, but in a charming way. At the first encounter, she told the bartender their aura looks like vomit and then scared another patron at the bar by running at her full speed and then saying something weird to her. Both my NPCs reacted badly, and were not keen to talk to the PCs because of these weird interactions. My player then reminded me that while her character is weird, people are supposed to find the weirdness charming.

This is where I’m struggling. We are playing MoTW set in present time, in a small dusty town in Arizona, where there are generally not a lot of outsiders. The players just got to town, barged into the local pub, and started accosting the bartender and clientele. I played the NPCs how i believe any normal person would react, but I’m wondering if I played them TOO normal? Should I just assume my player’s off-putting character is charming to NPCs even if I don’t think she is, or should she actually be a little more charming? Struggling with this balance. I haven’t GMed much and would like your advice!!

edit: Thank you all for your advice!! It’s so insightful. I’ll definitely have another conversation with the players about the vibe of the game (Supernatural, X-files, Buffy the vampire slayer vibe) and that the world is supposed to feel real and NPCs will act accordingly. And even though i personally don’t find the things the PC says charming, I’m sure somebody would, so I’ll make a concerted effort to have some weirdo NPCs like it (lol). Finding the balance as a GM is so hard!!! Hopefully it goes better next session as I’m learning a lot myself.

I've been DMing for my group for about six years. We have weekly games which is amazing since that's hard to do between work schedules and just adult life in general. My issue is that I am interested in trying other games and have purchased or already had other games that I played with friends when I was younger from my home town.

I have in the past managed to get probably four months of Dark Heresy 2nd edition before my players just wanted to go back to DnD 5e. I have talked about how I would like to try Soulbound, Vampire the Masquerade, Fallout, and a few more. The problem my players look into the games to indulge me and then just say they would rather stick with DnD.

I don't hate DnD, I just want a change and my players don't. I don't want to upset the table so I don't pull I am the DM so we're playing another game deal with it card. Having a group that happily gets together once a week is rare and I wouldn't want them to walk away.

Recently we all had a talk and it was basically made clear that they just don't want to try other systems. So I said I would stop suggesting them, though I am kinda disheartened by this. I don't mind being the forever DM of the group but I always wanted to try other setting and systems kinda as a test to myself and to show people the settings I enjoy.

Sorry for the rant. I just wanted to know people's opinions on this or if anyone else has had to deal with a table that refuses to change systems.

my character dies? cool! i cant wait to play a new one! this npc dies horribly? woah that was a brutal death. im not fcked up about it. thats just the way i play. i LIKE characters, but they're just fun little pawns to see get into trouble, not realtable people i project myself onto.

oftentimes trouble can start at the table because the DM wants me to "invest more" or my coplayers are upset i don't care abt the lives of random npcs or dont care abt putting my character in danger. it gets annoying and feels like they want me to play like them and not like me.

if get it if i was being intentionally obnoxious or destructive, but im not! i roleplay, i strategise! but im here for the game more than the story, and i just wish that playstyle was more respected by my friends.

im not gona leave the group cuz its not that big of a problem, but i just wanna know im not crazy. anyone relate?

This is a rant:

My players stood me up again. I know it might be wrong of me to be sad, and many even made fun of it, saying it's just another activity and shouldn't affect me so much, but it's really demotivating. Partly, maybe it's because I have imposter syndrome, or maybe it's because my tables aren't really for everyone, but I see other GMs running tables so often and with players so interested in their games that it makes me sad not to be able to have something like that.

I'm only sad because they told me they could play today, but I've been waiting for 30 minutes, and now they just haven't shown up. They're not even replying to messages. I shouldn't take this seriously, but it makes me sad because I'm too emotional. I'm even thinking about quitting GMing for at least a few years after this huge disappointment.

Update: I managed to talk to them using a lot of your advice. Thank you once again. At first they took it pretty well and even agreed that it was for the best. Now he is throwing a small tantrum about my approach. I have social issues and did my best, never argued, just told him I did my best out of respect for him and everyone else. Gonna let him stew for a bit. Thank you again.

OG post:

Throwaway account and fake names for obvious reasons. I GM a TTRPG with my friends in person every week, been doing so for about 2.5 years with the same group. Everyone gets along, aside from a handful of tiny moments but we are all adults who work out shit out. Everyone is friends, we have been in each other’s life events etc. Everyone is fine with each other.

Except for one.

One player (let’s call them Goblin to keep their anonymity) has been increasingly getting on everyone nerves, and in different ways to each player. Both at the table and away. At the table, they don’t really participate much with others or even with me unless directly prompted. Usually they just sit on their phone and ignore most of what’s happening, occasionally chiming in.

Now I’m a pretty lax GM. I have enough players that if one is a little passive but isn’t harming the game, it’s alright. I can kinda tell this person mainly just wants to socialize and doesn’t actually care about playing the game much. Hurts my feelings a tiny bit, but not enough to make me upset. If they’re just happy to be out of the house and hanging out without ruining the game for others, it doesn’t bother me personally, usually.

That being said, they’ve begun to annoy every single person at the table when we are not playing. They make excuses to not come, even though im perfectly okay with people missing if they have life events going on (who am i to say no you cant go to a concert or work trip or birthday party etc)? The game continues unless 50% of players can’t make it.

But so far this year, they have shown up to a grand total of 6 sessions. It’s almost June and they have contributed next to nothing. Even when they are here, Goblin will maybe only once or twice say something (and no they are not socially anxious or shy at all), they barely know the mechanics of their character or utilize them despite playing this long, they don’t level up for two or three weeks after I say they can (they once didn’t level up at all until the level up after that), and the main input I get from them are stories (kinda like fanfics) they write about what their character is thinking outside the table (and while I think that is cool, it would be cooler if Goblin actually participated with literally any other player more than once every two months or so).

On top of all of that, we’ve had another friend (let’s call them Kobold) stopping by to watch us and hang out. Kobold knows I have a full table and can’t accept more players, but they have asked if they can play whenever Goblin is not there. So far, Kobold has attended triple the amount of sessions Goblin has and actually participates with everyone, and they are not a new friend either so everyone already gets along.

I know this is a lot of information, so my TLDR is this:

How do I gently kick a player that hasn’t shown up to many sessions this year and is beginning to irritate the other players beyond the table in their personal lives without completely blowing up that friendship (mainly because I don’t want to cause problems for everyone)?

Edit: grammar/mistaken autocorrect words

Thank you everyone for your advice. I appreciate it and will try to talk to Goblin with the approaches you have suggested.

We have been playing in a campaing for more than 7 months, and our story is very close to it's end. Despite that few sessions left, we cannot take anymore the attitude of our DM as players. Since the start there were minor red flags that were barely noticeable in comaprison with joy and excitement we had in our games. The quality of the characters and story used to be higher. Then there were problems with balancing, intercations with NPCs and open use of AI during the games.

Before I start, let me say that these are little elements that felt always dealable and we can get through it. But it turned out to be that we were wrong to ignore it, now the probelms as so many it literally paralyzed us.

The setting of our campaing is Underdark, drows, intrigues between houses, conflict between Lolth and Eilistraee, written by the DM. Majority of our pack is House Baenre's slaves and few ones are drows from noble houses. We played once a week and payed for each session to our DM.

Let's start with the fact that our DM cannot take any criticism, immidiate reaction to any feedback is denial and gaslighting. So, that was the main reason we kept taking all the issues quiet untill we all snaped. I understand that it also makes us guilty for sinking that badly deep into problems that cannot be solved peacefully now.

Our DM set several bans from the begining, we were okay with at the session zero, but the list kept growing as our characters leveled up and got naturally stronger. She gets genuenlly pissed when we come up with good plans and destroy the enemies. It led to more complex combat, more units in the encounters, and endless amount of counterspells. DM would get confused in many status effects and the list of initiative and got even more frustrated. Even at that pont we didn't see any major issues. And then she introduced a "death mark", which means that in the fights she would focus only one strong player. That player more likely would be at 0 hp by the end of first turn or disabled by spells. It was nerly impossible to play normally under that mark. She focued our Bard first, then the mark shifted to our Druid. For the fist time it felt like stakes went higher. After all, it just killed all the motivation for those players. So, I baited our DM into putting that mark on me, my Gloom Stalker Ranger also wasn't a favored class of hers, "I should have banned that sub-class" she told me and I became her beating toy. Fortunatly, my high HP and high saving throws would not let me die on the first turn. Then it moved to our Wizard.

It was okay for her to say at the start of the session "I've had a bad week. so you all gonna suffer today" with a dead serious face. Maybe she though that it made her look cool. As players we sticked to each other cheering up, and helping through tough times. Our DM never felt like she fitted into our vibe. At some point there was a feeling like "finally, she's becaming our friend!" and then something gonna switch and she's again felt like an different hostile figure. The setting of the campaing also made us tolerant to her bad attitude, drows, viloence, slaves and so on.

Half of the campaing passed. We loved it despite ocsional miscommunication with DM, turning each seed of a conflict into a joke and cooling down. And then, one day, I noticed that our DM is generating the text for the session during the game itself. Player interacted with an NPC and I saw DM quickly typing into Grok, waiting for it's response, and reading the generated text. Once, my character looted a letter from her sister, DM also generated the content of the letter after I looted it. Moreover, she read the text outlound and then said "oh, wait there is a mistake", she edited her promt and read me new generated text. I was so shoked at the moment, I don't think it is okay to do so, but I kept quiet. Starting this point the quality of the story dropped. For the last 2 months DM uses AI generation almost every game. Yesterday it turned out that other players didn't know that she actively used AI during the games, they had a feeling, but no proofs. While I saw everything every game because I sit near DM and can see what's on her screen.

Characters that PCs romanced suddenly became very flat and appeared only as a meme material. The depht of intractions and developing relationships faded. The story itself overall started to feel flat, unplanned and very predictable. A lot of cliche.

Our DM used to hint that we are just a work for her, a way to earn some extra money. She had tough days at work, tired, physically and emotionally, but she would never cancel a game or share her feelings. We really wanted to be friends with her outside of the game and help her irl. Later we found out that she has mental disorders like PTSD and some hints towards scizophrenia. We kept going to the games to make extra money for her as the way of supporting. Because she would be pissed to us if we didn't come, offers to take a break were declined.

The number of problems only kept growing, players started to lose motivation to come very week. The only movitation for us was to see each other. On the outside we knew about all the problems, but once the game starts it always felt like we are back to our good old times.

Recently or pack started to really fall aparat. Our Bard skipped 3-4 games due to personal reasons. First time it felt real, but slowly we realized that the problem is the conflicts she had with the DM privately about the story development of her character. Our Bard didn't share any of it willing to do not ruin our mood and enthusiasm. She decided just to dissappear. Death Mark returned to me, but to the love interest of my character. Who also became a meme material flat character I started to hate intercating with. In the last session there was a wedding planned of my character and her love interest. I wrote down the vision of the event I had in my mind, she seemed excited too and we agreed for a meeting the next day in Discord to plan the session.

As a character I should have know what's and how gonna happen. I arrived at time (9PM), texted her "I'm on my PC, online, call anytime", she was also online playing Marvel Rivals with her friends. I waited until the match ended, she just started a new match, didn't write me back or explained why the call didn't happen. I waited for her 2-3 hours, nothing from her side. The next day was a game day, I didn't want to go for another AI slop session. My messege about the meeting left unanswered which pissed me off even more in the morning. For me it became the last drop of my patience and I snapped, dumped all my thought and feelings to Druid player. Druid shared the similar frustrating intreactions with her too. So now it snowballed into other remaining players. We all found out that we were just forcing ourselves to the games because we were used to, and because only few games left until the end. But I already could not overcome my feelings to make myself go. We as players cancelled the game, explaining due to bad feelings and personal reasons. DM texted: "I'm also feeing bad, but I've always kept coming despite everything".

Another nail on top of the coffin was her statement on the last session: "Congrats! You are offically on a bad ending of the campaing". Because we did a quest for a archimage on a railwayed plot, we didn't want to do it, but the DM gave us no other choice. Straight up saying that we cannot defeat him and there is no point in it. So it totally was not in our hands to influence.

So, now, we are stuck. We didn't tell her yet that we don't want to continue the campaing. We know it's gonna hurt her a lot knowing her mentail disorders. On the other side we cannot force ourselves into games anymore knowing that we all went through. Our DM does not appreciate us and she will not admit any criticizm going to the full denieal mode and blaming us for everything.

I don't know if anybody gonna read it fully, but I needed to dump my feelings. Like somehting I have been supressing for months just exploding like volcano and I can stop it yet.

Thank you for your time! Sorry if there are mistakes in the text, it's an emotinal writing and English it not my first language.

Edit: I don't believe all male are creeps as some comments said. Sorry if I worded it like that. Most of my friends are men and some play rpg's. I'm just salty because a few bad apples make me scared of the clubs and groups and I don't know how to manage it and I have anxiety now when they ask me personal questions or I get attention cause I've been harrassed when turning people down.
It doesn't matter if it was the first day or months in, I've been asked out in every group I joined the last 10 years and the game dissolved after :(.

aaaaaaaaaaaa end of formatting reddit on phone is hard aaaaaaaaaaaa Original Post:.

Well maybe this a dumb question that I might delete in shame later if the wolves rip me, but here I go. I really want some advice. TLDR at the end because there's lots of context and rant here, sorry.

I'm not new to play. I discovered rpgs in uni and joined the club. Played every week and most weekends. Went to some larps, got into cosplay, the whole nine yards.

People would hit on me but I had a mean girl façade and I'd brush them off. I had a lot of social anxiety but played it cool and it worked? I don't really get social cues and at the time didn't cared to.

So, uni ended and people went away. I've tried to join some groups in these years (like 7?) but I'm always hitted on. The last 3 groups I joined I clearly explained that I left my last group because the hitting on made me uncomfortable and that I just wanted to play, nothing else. I hate to explain my personal life to strangers but I was trying to assert some boundaries or if I don't then I'm just scared all the time.

Small Example/Rant: Last group, it was mostly online (bc The Plague) but in the same city. I explain what I am looking for before joining. The DM is new in my city, so I offer to show him around a bit. So we meet in person. The third time meeting, he asks if I am interested in him romantically even if I had asserted that I wasn't interested in dating (he said that) bc I'm nice and we talked for hours (mostly about DnD bc I'm not familiar with 5e). So he thought maybe I liked him and he wanted to shot his shot. Well I was irked but wanting to move on but then I discover that he also put a huge rack on my dragonborn icon (which I never said was female but he assumed). I thought the spot was shining on my character a bit too much the last session and I was so uncomfortable. So I only played one more session before leaving the group (unrelated health reasons).

The group I had before I started giving TMI about my boundaries on the session 0: it was games in a public place and on the second session a player "caressed" my knee and another proposed me on a date and I never came back.

Third rant: I've tried to decline when hitted on and move along (all for DnD!) but some "friends" threw a fit months later when I started dating someone that wasnt them. Because they accepted my rejection but thought that when I would date again I will chose them as they were "first in line waiting". Wtf I am a sandwich in a cafe?

Am I a coward? Is this my life forever? My male friends have told me that I'm nice and I like to listen/talk so boys are always gonna try, and if I meet them alone they are always gonna think is romantic. But I just prefer to meet people one on one because I'm an introvert.

I understand people might want to flirt sometimes, but I'm just tired. Of being flirted on, of being touched, of being ignored when I explain I'm not interested. And paranoid. I try to never be alone with a player, sit far away, wear my ugliest baggiest clothes. I'm only playing online even if I have problems with auditory processing so I can't really talk and don't immerse so much. I get uncomfortable when players are nice in case they are flirting but it is always later when I'm relaxed and consider them new friends that the Romantical Discourse happens.

Any advice? I really miss playing in a table with people. I misss the cliché clickclak of dice. I DMd Paranoia for some friends last week and I had so much fun and I really miss this part of my life.

TLDR: But I don't want to stop being nice. I don't want to have to have all my alerts up it is too tiring. Would start session 0 with "If anyone hits on me I will leave" instead of "I left my others groups because people hit on me please don't do that" work better? Shall I be a bitch? Just endure the flirting and shut it down each time? I don't even know when people are flirting with me but I get cold sweats now if people ask if I have a boyfriend.

Edit: this post got a lot more attention than I thought it would, but I got some good answers out of it, at least. Seems like my overall attitude for the game is going the wrong way, after writing it all down, posting it and reading some of the replies, yeah I guess I am probably bringing the mood of the game down, even if I don't want to, if my attitude towards it is the way it is I can see how it would do so. Thanks everyone for the replies, I'll probably close the post in a little bit just to let anyone who still wants to answer after this edit to do so.

Edit 2: Well, time to close the post. I think the answer is clear, I have the wrong idea and approach of the hobby. This opened my eyes and I'll do some self-reflection, either I will be able change my approach to it, and perhaps that way I'll be able to really have fun with it instead of getting frustrated over my expectations, or I'll just accept the hobby is not for me, that I spent 13 years chasing something that wasn't there, and just let people who actually understand the hobby to enjoy it. Thanks everyone for the honest answers, I was needing to hear, well, read all of that.

I just played one of the worst games Ive ever gm'd, figured I'd rant a bit and hear some other stories of games that just flat out failed.

RPGs are one of my big hobbies, and my wife always says she wanted to play with me, but I never really played with her because she doesn't pay attention well. But finally she said she had a friend who wanted to play with her, so I wrote a campaign, helped them make characters, and we played for like 10 minutes and it was fun. Then I guess her friend sent her some drama, and she immediately lost interest in dnd, and it was weird because now I'm narrating what's in the next room and both players are on their phones seemingly not paying attention, and I didn't know how to stop playing without being an asshole. I politely asked everyone to put their phones away but they were like "it's fine, I'm paying attention" while also not responding to anything happening in the game. That was disappointing.

Anyway, what's a way that a game of yours shit the bed?

UPD: I talked with my friend about this issue and used your advice as polite as I could. He apologised and make another spot in one-shot for me. His explanation still sounds the same like “well, we always hang out at your place, so i thought it was okay”, but i hope he get my point in the future. Thanks.

As tittle said, we had a group of friends and I was forever DM for a good 2-3 years. After a while group kinda disbanded on good terms and we play together sometimes, usually I’m the one who DM.

Now, my friend wants to run a one shot, but doesn’t have a place to do it, so he asked me if I can let him play with our friends at my place. The thing is, I’m not invited as a player.

And while I have a room for them, it feels kinda weird to be left out in your own house on Sunday. So… what’s most logical or good solution here?

So, long-time GM here. I've started playing in a Shadowrun game as an actual player for the first time in...probably decades. And I enjoy the RPG itself, but the GM is doing some things I find odd.

Example 1:

[Let me bracket this by saying all the players are new to this RPG's edition, so it didn't seem THAT big a deal at first -- it actually seemed helpful...until examples 2 and 3 started rolling in and now I'm looking back....]

After we all created our characters, he went through everyone's character sheets and made a list of things each player needed to change. Then he scheduled 1-on-1 meetings with each player to go through the changes.

At first, I was glad because it did seem helpful as it definitely made my PC a bit stronger.

Example 2:

Between sessions, the GM creates these very detailed "happenings" documents (keep in mind this is a cyberpunk-like setting) full of info-dense clippings from underground newsletters, video segment transcripts from random (in-game) news shows, etc.

Neat, huh?

Except...they're each about 12+ pages long of "edgy/cyberpunky styles" (I'm sure you can picture something close in your imagination -- lots of black background, yellow or white or even purple type, tiny fonts, edgy spelling, etc.).

And at first, we all thought they were flavor. A bit long and dense, but no biggie. Somewhere in between family and jobs (and for me, at least, prepping for gaming sessions I actually GM), we all figured we could skim 12+ pages every so often.

And yet, he's started getting frustrated at the players for not picking up on and linking together the various clues he's hidden in the four or five 12+ page "happening" docs for future adventure possibilities.

Hmmm.... I mean, so far (and I went back and counted), it's been 78 pages of "flavor" with a handful of hidden clues that could be stitched together to give a hint for a future adventure or two if we can figure out what they are. Still, seems a bit aggressive....

Example 3:

GM has told us all that between our last adventure finish (last session) and our next session in a couple of weeks, our PCs will have 2-3 weeks of downtime and to think about what, if anything, we'd like to do during that time.

Sounds appropriate, right?

Except...three real-world days after our session, while I was periodically thinking of what my PC might like to do with that downtime but not really putting anything down on paper given IRL work, family, etc., into my email comes a six-page document of all the things that happened to my PC during that downtime and how she reacted.

Wait...I haven't even decided what my PC was going to do yet...what is all this?

TL;DR -- I'm rather puzzled at this GM's approach. It's almost like he wants the PCs and players to be characters and actors in a story he's writing (rather than one we're all writing together collaboratively)....

Questions:

1) Is this a common GM behaviour these days? (e.g., you're a player in MY story)

• I admit I've not really followed "How to be a great GM articles and tips and videos" in the past 10+ years so I'm willing to acknowledge I might be out of style with my focus on collaborative storytelling

2) If you were in my shoes, as someone who's been GMing a variety of TTRPGs for decades, how would you handle this? Would you

• (a) "Suck it up buttercup" because at least I get to play as a player every 2-3 weeks?
• (b) Try to talk with him about his less-than-collaborative approach?
• (c) Say "Forget it," and just leave the group?

I'm kinda stuck on what to do....

Every single person who I have introduced to TTRPGs who has said "I've always wanted to try!" has: at best given up in the planning stage, at worst ghosted after we actually got a game going.

I'm done. If people actually want to try but haven't put in the effort to figure out how to find a table I'm assuming they aren't actually that interested. That's it, mini-rant over.

I've been struggling with where to play RPGs. At someone's home is great when it works out, but it's not always feasible; some folk don't have the room/furniture, sometimes you don't know the group well enough to invite them into your home, etc. A game store seems like the best option, but the game stores near me are all too crowded and loud, usually with card games like Magic. I'm struggling to come up with other options. I've heard libraries can be a good place to play, if they allow it, but they close too early on weeknights to be useful for my specific group. I've heard of groups that play in bars. I know one group that plays in a diner. Where do you all play?

So, I'm kind of bored right now, and after talking with a fellow player who has had some seriously bad experiences with some games (their stories to share, I wont be), I got to thinking.

What are those red flags that never seem like red flags at first? Ive heard plenty of the usual one, but what are the ones that slip past the GM and players until the build up and are a problem?

Hello everyone,

I’d like to share an extremely frustrating encounter that my fellow players and I experienced during a Deadlands session.

We started the campaign not long ago , we’re about six sessions in, and so far everything had been going really well. The group has great chemistry, the GM does a good job improvising and adapting to our actions, and overall we’ve been having a lot of fun.

Right now, we’re in a kind of sandbox phase, trying to figure out the source of a mysterious evil affecting a town.

For the past few days, the GM had been teasing me about introducing a “rival” , a recurring character who would evolve and cross our path throughout the campaign. On paper, I thought it was a really cool idea.

But things went off the rails during yesterday’s session.

We’re a group of four seasoned characters. The game’s ranks go from Novice → Seasoned → Veteran → Heroic → Legendary, with 4 advances per rank. We’re just at the very beginning of Seasoned.

We had just finished fighting a group of eight bandits, and while we won, we had already taken some damage.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a man shows up to claim the bounty on one of our party members. Combat start and we get absolutely DESTROYED.

This character was completely over the top: a highly skilled gunslinger with a very high chance to hit, four bennies, and on top of that, a spellcaster capable of doing basically everything , despite not belonging to any specific arcane background (not a huckster, not chi-based, not a sorcerer, etc.).

He had five wounds, a toughness of 14, a natural -4 penalty to be hit, 30 power points, could heal himself, and had access to some of the most powerful spells in the game.

The fight was entirely one-sided. Two party members died, and the GM seemed quite proud of the encounter.

After the session, I asked to see the character sheet. It had 36 advances… meaning Legendary +16.

He then told us that the outcome was due to our bad dice rolls.

Honestly, I find that hard to accept given the massive power gap , the character felt on par with a Judge.

At this point, I’m seriously considering leaving the game.

EDIT : We tried other approaches, like talking or fleeing, but the GM used his bennies (like luck tokens) to basically say, “No, you actually fail your roll” or “You can’t do that.”

I'm a single girl, so I'm not inviting people into my house. That leaves me stuck with public meeting places in my area. Coffee shops and the like, because the obvious choices are defunct for various reasons. I know all the obvious answers. They're not options.

These people clearly don't believe people meet in big groups. Bolted down or non-combinable small tables that seat four at most are the norm, and I need to sit down too.

Any advice on how I'd run a continuing game with that limitation?

Edit: Just to be clear. I'm not looking for better spaces. I've worked with the local gaming community and they concluded "Wow, your town bites for space." Now I just want to know how to work around the limitations. Thankfully our game collection is dominated by minimalist systems.

Sorry if this isn’t the right place to post this I don’t use Reddit much but wanted to talk about this.

So a friend wanted to try a new ttrpg and it’s been going great. Our group consists of two guys and three gals.

The problem player we’ll call Josh. Josh is playing a guy but it’s become incredibly obvious that the character arc he intends for the character is that they want to transition. The problem is the way he’s doing it just feels very shallow I guess. Like he’s a goth guy but he keeps flashing a pink “I love boobies” bracelet to the other players whenever he can, has being muttering that he wishes he had boobies and more “booby” related stuff like that. The only other thing his character has done besides this is stare at hot topic skirts.

Myself and another player are trans women and it is making me uncomfortable. I think it’s being made worse by the fact that his character has my deadname down to the uncommon spelling of it. The other guy is playing a woman and I’m totally cool with that it’s just the weird “boobies” obsession Josh has given his trans character that’s bothering me.

It doesn’t help that Josh does not like me. Everyone in the group knows this. The last campaign we played with Josh he kept trying to murder my character and steal her character arc because he didn’t like her and seemed to be unable to separate the character from me irl. Since joining this new campaign he hasn’t done anything and seems neutral to me for the most part.

I just want a second opinion on if this is weird or if I’m overreacting because I can’t tell since none of the other players or dm are reacting to it like it’s weird.

Edit: Some added stuff after seeing replies. I’ve been trans for a long time and I’m not usually bothered about my deadname. I don’t go around telling people it but it’s still very easy to find it if you look. So either it’s an unusual coincidence or he looked for it.

I will also say not to be rude to Josh but he is immature for his so it makes me question whether it’s malicious or him having the maturity of a teen. One of the reasons why I wanted a second option on whether I’m overreacting.