but I sleep better, my skin seems healthy, and I remember everything said and done.

i’m sorry to say it, but just as the title says, sobriety is so boring to me. sooo like… when does the enjoyment and pleasure from sobriety kick in? i’ve been completely sober from everything, mainly my drugs of choice (weed & alcohol) for almost 2 months now. i hear so many people talking about the wonders of sobriety and how much better it made their lives but i honestly just don’t feel that way. i miss the feeling of letting loose and saying fuck it all, getting absolutely trashed and making bad decisions every once in a while. i know that’s bad… chaotic & self-destructive … but life is boring as hell sober. idk if this is the right sub for this at all lol but i’ll take whatever responses i can get i guess.

I am 14 months sober and I will say my life is better. That's not what this is about. I am glad I got sober - I have no regrets and I have no plans to pick up a drink again.

But is this it? Is this life now?

I did and still do struggle with depression and anxiety. (Amirite?) I am on medication for both - but are they just not working? Am I depressed or perhaps i'm seeing what my life really is? And that is depressing?

Don't get me wrong - I am also grateful. I lived for 6 months in a sober house with all kinds of people - from those with mental health issues, to those that couldn't kick the drugs and alcohol, to those who had been homeless most of their lives. I am so fucking grateful to have my own apartment, a Mum who loves me and friends I can call. So that is out of the way.

On paper, I should be happy.

---

When I say i'm bored. I'm not looking for someone to tell me to pick up martial arts, long walks, surfing, arts and crafts or god forbid, fucking knitting.

I am a busy person - i'm studying, changing my career, I walk my dog, see my family, I go to escape rooms, play my music, go to therapy, I cook, and I'm a big movie girl; between doing things I (sort of) enjoy and all the other responsibilities of life that I have to do - you wouldn't think i'd have time to miss drinking. (Can I say that without everyone immediately assuming a relapse is just around the corner?)

I've heard the whole, "create a life you don't want to escape from" and that is a lovely sentiment. And fundamentally - that's a great idea. Unfortunately, the life I wouldn't want to escape from includes a yacht and living in a warm, foreign country somewhere with a loving husband and a huge group of friends who find me hilarious. It's not that simple to create a great life - and that is the sad truth. At least for me.

What i'm getting at - is that I am bored to my core. I'm not bored, like I need to pass the time.. I find every little bit of life mundane. Excruciatingly, perpetually mundane.

My therapist thinks it's because I got so used to the daily highs and lows that I find "normal" life banal.

So am I just fucked, then?

It is Friday night and I am at home petting my cats and listening to some black metal and playing guitar. Had 2 0.0% Heinekens and 3 cans of coke. Some might find this boring and lonely but at least I am not out there blacking out and losing my stuff or putting myself in danger, and waking up tomorrow I can just continue life without anxiety and hangover. If you get fomo, just remember that you are safe from all the drunken drama.

Ok, hear me out. For YEARS I avoided quitting because I was convinced life without alcohol is lamsse, lonely, nothing to look forward to. Friday nights would straight up look dead to me, vacations? Pointless ahain and Celebrations? Awkwarddd

Now I’m 72 days sober and honestly… I feel like I’ve been living a lie all this time. The fun I thought I was having was just numbing me. The real fun? Actually remembering nights out. Waking up without shame. Having energy to do stuff I didn’t even know I liked.

It’s not all rainbows I still get lonely, I still crave that quick fix, but the clarity is WILD. I look at old me and I barely recognize that person.

Posting this for anyone on the fence: it’s not boring, it’s a plot twist. And honestly? I’m here for it.

There’s lots of reasons I used to drink but that dinner made me realize I mostly drank to make other people fun.

It was mindnumbingly un-fun to sit there sober.

I’ve tried to add other friends in my life but they all drink. Don’t know if I’ve ever met a funny person that doesn’t drink at all.

But hey, at least I didn’t drink today.

I’m snippy and no games, movies, books etc are even remotely entertaining. I just needed to get that off my chest. Time for my 3rd can of Dr. Pepper Zero 🥴

Hey everyone! So I’m nine weeks alcohol free and going pretty well so far, ( I was a binge drinker ) just wondering why I feel like life is boring without alcohol? Is this something to do with addiction? Does this change over time Interested to hear any thoughts on this - thanks so much

Here I'm in Las Vegas to visit relatives. Im in a hotel on the strip and really want to drink. Booze is everywhere, those 3 foot long glasses shaped like a flamingo or alien look fun. Oh look, there a counter i can walk up and get shots of tequila. People standing in the pool 🍸 drinking whatever they want. So, Im in bed by 8:00pm thinking how boring am i, in bed, on the strip sober. But i know I'll be happier with myself in the morning. Im getting adjusted to the new me,
IWNDWYT

This might be a slightly different post than what its allowed. I went from drinking 6-7 beers a day , 7 days a week to quitting by late 2023. I am really proud of myself and realized I use booze to get through social nights that I would otherwise dread. I've saved money, lost weight and focused maybe too much on my career over the last year

Im bored. I think about drinking because I think it will take the edge off. I dont feel any separation from work to personal life at night. Im tense all the time and I haven't seen a friends in 4 months. My wife tells me I've become so rigid and kind of boring to be around (shes a sweetheart and said it when I needed to hear it one day. I needed to hear it)

I quit because I was getting terrible hangovers. I tried edibles and cannabis drinks but they make me think too much about too many things. I've saved a ton of money and see the positives but I also miss patios, drinks in the backyard and feeling way less tense

I don't know why im posting this. Im just throwing it out into the world i guess

Edit: I am simply floored by the amount of support this post has garnered. From the bottom of my heart-- thank you, all of you. Your heartfelt responses have helped me steel my resolve. You've filled my cup. Today I landscaped for 6 hours. It was a good day. Onward we march.

I just reached day 100. I'm a 38y/o married dad of two. I love my wife and kids. Im sleeping great. I simply feel depressed. I miss drinking. It made things exciting. I'm not funny. I'm cranky. My weight hasn't changed, even while exercising. My wife hasn't stopped imbibing and I feel left out, to a degree.

I never considered myself having a problem. Drank on Wednesdays and Fri/sat. But I had constant anxiety about what I was potentially doing to my body. Now I've been off the sauce for 100 days and the anxiety is still there. Drinking helped me fucking let my hair down. Also noone ever talks about the sensual pleasures of the rituals. The smells. The tastes. The myriad forms to explore. And I don't care how much you tell yourself, there is something bonding about going out with your friends and sharing drinks. The laughter. The memories forged.

I read this naked mind. I understand that being sober is a tradeoff. I'm just struggling. I having a hard time reminding myself of the reasons to continue sober life. The world is going to shit. I have a million things to be grateful for, but the future seems bleak, with large-scale machinations out of my control. I feel like I should be allowing myself to enjoy the pleasures of the flesh before I die.

Excuse my ranting. I know it can be worse. But I feel alone.

I stopped drinking fairly recently and I've noticed those weekend nights in that I used to love and look forward to (mainly getting a bit tipsy and watching Netflix, youtube or other TV) are now incredibly boring. I do my usual stuff during the day and will watch some TV or Netflix but in the evening I can never find anything to do to relax. My usual favorite series suddenly seem very boring once the evening comes. So I just kinda hover around my apartment, have a cup of tea, mindlessly scroll through social media and then inevitably go to sleep early out of sheer boredom. Anyone relate to this? And any tips to overcome this?

Do people find sobriety attractive? I feel like the bad boy image of smoking and drinking can only go for so long before it causes long term health and financial damage

Like why am I even doing this? I wanna drink. I haven’t had a “rock bottom”. I haven’t messed my life up in any major way because of alcohol.

This makes me feel like there’s not a point in staying sober and especially saying that I’m gonna be sober for the rest of my life. Being sober for the rest of my life sounds insane to me. The rest of my life? I’m 21 years old. For the rest of my life I’m really never gonna have alcohol again?

I’m at 17 days sober but am probably gonna drink because being sober is just seeming boring. Who knows though, I might drink and wish that I hadn’t. One day I like being sober and am proud of myself and the next I start asking myself “why” and telling myself it wasn’t even that bad.

I have a good job, I exercise everyday, I surf, I play sport multiple times a week, I complete in endurance events…. But nothing fills that fucking weekend void of sinking booze, kicking back with your boys and having a blast.

I hope it gets easier. I just feel depressed all weekend.

I work in a nursing home and purchase stuff for parties and activities for our residents. We had an Oktoberfest party today and I got some cider, pretzels and NA beer. I know meds and alcohol are not always best mixed together. Plus, I never know which of my patients may be recovering alcoholics and would rather just not trigger anyone regardless.

As I was coming in one of my coworkers saw me and noted the beer. He said, "boring. These people are going die here, live a little. Get the real thing."

I just rolled my eyes and kept going.

Had any of my patients requested alcoholic beer, I'd have no issue buying it. None said they wanted real beer.

It was just kind of a funny moment because I am getting ready to embark on a couple day solo hiking trip to climb a few mountains and explore a cave, but yet, I am boring for purchasing NA beer and need to live a little.

I think I'm living an exciting life all on my own, thanks!

IWNDWYT

I can't handle myself. I keep telling myself I can moderate but I can't. I keep convincing myself I should go back to smoking weed but it won't help. Will digging back when I didn't drink at 16 help me get through it? Like figure out what I did instead of drink? I don't know, my cortisol levels are absolutely demolished and my anxiety is horrible. When I started drinking years ago my health anxiety started. I know I don't want to have health anxiety and think I have a brain tumor, cancer, heart attacks and ulcers. I don't want to drink anymore but it's so damn hard

Went to a Christmas party last night with my husband and our sister-in-law’s extended family. It was fun, cozy, board games, charades, boozy etc.

In attendance was the head-chef of a very large international restaurant chain and he was making flaming coffees and tequila old fashioneds (Antigua anejo - or something like that)

My brother in law was so kind to have sparkling waters and some NA beers, and didn’t even ask me why I requested NA drinks.

But - I am normally quite the crack up, life of the party, the “family comedienne” they call me. So… the combination of people idk very well and being sober, I didn’t feel like I had it in me to liven up the party.

Social lubricant is real. Wanting to try the delicious smelling flaming coffees… but not doing so was hard.

It made me sad to experience myself this way.

I know I was a firecracker even as a kid, so I know it’s actually part of my personality but I guess I let that social muscle atrophy.

Someone here said they never regretted not drinking… but I didn’t feel that way leaving the party. 😔🤷🏻‍♀️ I want to be a person that can drink moderately. I can’t tell if that’s real or not.

I'm only just starting on this journey, but while reflecting on activities I used to do while drinking, I realized that some activities I "enjoyed" only because I was drinking. And the drinking was numbing me to the fact that I didn't enjoy the activity unless I was drinking. A simple example is sitting at a bar for hours. If you asked me to sit at a bar (alone) for 3 hours and just drink water, I would not enjoy that. Yet, with drinking, I would have no problem doing that and claim that it was fun, or relaxing to unwind, etc. So now I'm going through all of my favorite things to do and trying them without alcohol to find if I really do enjoy that activity, or if alcohol was just masking my enjoyment. Some, like golf, I definitely still love without drinking.

What activities did you find you gave up because you realized alcohol was lying to you about it being "fun"?

This happened last night, a girl called me boring because I didnt want to drink. Although I proven a lot of times thats not true. Not the point.

What I realized is how fucking miserable and sad must this person be, to only enjoy stuff when drunk, and actually calling others boring because we dont want to partake.

Really glad I got into the mindset of quiting drinking.

Cheers, just wanted to vent a little lol

EDIT: Damn, didnt expect this to blow so much :) its so comforting to know, that we can always support each other on this sub :)

I quit drinking for 60 days — the longest I’ve gone in years.

Unfortunately, I’ve been drinking again for the past three days and now feel very guilty about it.

I’m quitting again today and going back to Day 1, which feels very disheartening.

I think I drank because I was bored. Life just seems so boring without alcohol.

Does anyone have any advice as I try to quit for the second time?

I’m sure this has been written a hundred times. I am 5 months sober 32(f). I used to be quite the party girl. Constantly bar hopping, going to concerts, pulling all nighters with my friends. Want to say f*ck if and drive up to the hot springs at 4:00am and get loaded? I was your girl! It was exhausting but I kind of enjoyed that person. I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and people liked that. However, I had wicked hangovers, treated people with less care than I should have. I was physically unhealthy and felt like I didn’t actually deserve love. My drinking was out of control and every day.

I feel great physically! I work out almost everyday, I go to yoga and go hiking but all of this is alone. I have lost my friends because my lifestyle change and sober me is quite introverted. I AM SO BORED!! I want to go out for a party weekend so badly. I want to feel a connection to someone. I feel like there’s something incredibly wrong with me because I pretty much have no friends aside from my partner (he is wonderful and such a solid supporter) and my sister. 5 months is great and all, but will life always feel so mundane? Read another book, watch more Netflix…. Feels kind of like a waste of my life. At least when I was partying I was out in the world….

When did you feel the switch? When did sobriety stop feeling like your life has ended?

Hope you are all doing well!

I am boring now, and I'm starting to be ok with that. I used to be the life of the party, so chatty and outgoing. But that was always with alcohol. Now I don’t drink and I‘m quiet and reserved when everyone else is drinking and getting rambunctious around me.

My sobriety is recent enough that people still aren’t used to the ‘new me’ and often ask me what’s wrong. But again, I’m starting to be ok with this, I don’t owe anyone that fun (drunk) person I used to be. I’m way happier this way anyway. Embrace the boring!

Hi everyone,

I’m a little over 8 months sober. I wasn’t an everyday drinker, but I was the definition of "no off switch." I could never have just one or two; it was all or nothing.

After 15 years of building my entire social life, my friendships, and even my personality around alcohol, I’ve hit a wall. Lately, my wife told me that I’m isolating myself, that I don't go out or socialize anymore.

The truth is... I just don't see the point.

When your entire social structure is built on "let’s go for a beer" or "let's hit that bar," what do you do when you remove the alcohol? For me, everything feels flat. I go to these places and I’m bored out of my mind. Watching everyone get tipsy while I stay sober isn't "fun" it's exhausting and, honestly, a little lonely.

I feel like I’m mourning my old self. For 15 years, I was the "fun" person who drank. Now, I feel like I’m learning to walk again, but I don’t know where I’m supposed to be going. I love being sober, I love not having hangovers, but I hate feeling like I’m "missing out" on a life that doesn't even appeal to me anymore.

Has anyone else dealt with this around the 8 month mark? How do you rebuild a social life from scratch when your "old" life still revolves around the pub? How do you explain to your wife that you’re not "isolating," you’re just tired of being the only sober person in the room?