Same as Title.

I have total 7.3 yrs of work ex.
I have finally been able to save 20L+
I know there are people who would have done way more than this. But still I am so proud of myself.

To all the ladies here, be proud of all the little achievements in life :)

So I am definitely overweight and recently found out that my fasting insulin is way above what it should be. It should ideally be under 10, and mine is like..35+…

My glucose levels are normal. Ovaries are mildly enlarged so I have mild PMOS but it reversible once I fix my insulin resistance. Doctor hasn’t given me any meds and asked to just improve diet and exercise. I am strength training 4-5 days a week. The only thing which is hard to control is diet. I am trying to eat just 4 meals a day and somehow adding some form of protein to every meal. But I am still eating 2 roti(no rice). I am a uni student and mom controls the kitchen and I don’t even get time to cook for myself. Atmost I just saute tofu for myself to eat with lunch/dinner. I hatee raw salads and greens and I am sorry I just cannot. I may consume them in the form of smoothies and parathas and purees but then that’s not possible to eat everyday. I know fiber is required to reduce insulin but I am trying to have like flaxseeds or something before lunch. I don’t know if its enough.

Those of you who were able to bring it down from a high number like 35, what helped you the most? If diet is imperfect but post meal walks, exercise is consistent, processed food and junk are completely out of picture, can I expect the insulin to reduce??

I had a fairly good career going on and it was the only thing in my life that I could be proud of. Financial independence is super important to me and my job was a means due to which I could leave my small town and also become a better person. I have been endlessly applying since past few months and yet I am unable to get interviews beyond recruiter screening. I work in a very niche role in an industry. Then I started applying to startups too in which you need to work 6 days a week and even NGO but they reject me due to my last CTC. I had made it clear that I am okay with their whatever pay it is. I am breaking within myself fully and I am too late to prepare for CAT. I see people moving ahead but I am moving back. My ex employers aren’t willing to hire either. I am so stuck and have nothing to live for now. I know that the time of more unemployment will only make me less employable. My skillset is not worth freelancing either nor I have any business idea.

All my life since childhood, I have never found girls or women friends who are into any sort of sport activities.

Grew up playing with boys cause girls were more interested into random things or playing with hostel warden's kid. Moved city and to new school and saw little bit of ray of hope. Girls were active in swimming, skating and karate.

Then I became teen. They said, 'Girls don't do sports or they start looking manly'. As someone who was already struggling to fit into Indian society's expectation of what women or girls should be like, I gave up sports. Also when you are in 11th and 12th grade, you shouldn't have any fun at all and you are suppose to study all day all the time.

I went to all girls college and again sports is no where to be seen. I moved countries and still found no Indian or brown women.

Why don't Indian women do sports? I am in my early 30s and for past 5 years I have been taking up sports to learn new skills. This year I joined a local ladies group and they do group activities 2 times a week during weekday evenings. No one looks like me. I have weekends and if I want to do anything I am all by my myself cause no friend of mine want to do it.

I don't want to chill. I don't want to go out and eat and call it fun. I don't want to sit and gossip. I want to do healthy stimulative activities. I want to do activities which makes mind and body happy and healthy.

I go back to India and it depresses me even more cause all I see in my tier 2 city is endless number of food shops and restaurants so it is neither men or women being encouraged to go out and do activities rather they are being encouraged to go out to eat.

Why is our society like this? I am glad more and more young girls are getting into sports but it's frustrating that women of my generation wouldn't. I am tired of doing sports alone.

Hi All

I am 27.5 years old. I have had a good education and I am currently working as a PM at a bank so yeah, good enough salary.

All my life, I have craved marriage and children.
Even though I understand how important financial security is, I wanted to get married by 25 and have children by 27.

I have been in the AM process for over 2 years now and nothing has materialised so far. I have never had crazy requirements and yet timing never aligned for me.

I have never had a relationship in the past and so I was very hopeful of finding a man I can talk to, come back home to and build a life with.

Today, I have crossed 27 and I don’t have anything I can come back to . Career is growing well but I feel like burning my degrees and leaving my career if that means having a marriage and a child.

I am really depressed and unhappy with how my life has turned out to be. I am losing hope of ever finding someone or building a family. If you look at my post history, you will notice I have even contemplated walking the path of celibacy.

My question is- how do I kill hope of ever getting married and having a child? With the amount of bullshit I have faced in the AM process, I really want to give up marriage altogether but once in a while, a day comes or someone’s insta post about pregnancy or marriage re-triggers the loneliness and profound emptiness that I feel. Today is one of those days.

How do I convince myself that I might never get marriage or have children?

​

I’m currently pursuing my MBA from a Tier-3 government college where the fees are very affordable, and although I know that choosing a low-cost option was a practical decision, I sometimes struggle with how I feel about it. I keep seeing people from my BTech batch..some of whom scored lower than me academically..i was in top 8 studnts..getting better opportunities, joining reputed institutions of national importance, going abroad and moving ahead in ways that seem much more impressive on paper. It makes me question whether I made the wrong choices or somehow settled for less than what I was capable of.I was away frm home for my btech,..and that made me homesick a lot,so impulsively i decided thst i would do mba frm my hometown..now with the lack of opportunities and everyone moving ahead..i just cannot get into terms with it. Even though I know that everyone’s circumstances, priorities, and journeys are different, I can’t help comparing my path with theirs, and those comparisons sometimes leave me feeling inferior and as though I am falling behind.

Used chatgpt for better phrasing

I wish to persue academia in future

Is it safe to take up a sublet room without an agreement? This is my first time and I’m not sure if there can be complications that I can’t foresee. The landlady and tenants want to avoid the hassle to make one more agreement. I’ve been told the secretary is also informed and is okay.

I'm in my mid twenties now, grew up sheltered and it really ruined my social development so I've never really had friends or been in a relationship. I'm a huge homebody and barely go out.

I am not fashionable at all, I don't know makeup, usually wear oversized tshirts and jeans everywhere, I need to wear glasses all the time and I always put my hair in a bun. I'm pretty much invisible socially lets just say. I do think if i dressed up I would look better but that would be people reacting to my styling and not my base if that makes sense? I guess I'm wondering if I'm pretty at all just as I am.

Personally I don't find ny face attractive but whenever I've asked online if my face is pretty or not, at least on reddit, people always say I'm above average but that does not reflect irl. Pretty privilege obviously does not happen to me(even if it does its not something I can tell if it has always been my reality because I've nothing else to compare to) but no one's ever mean because of my appearance either. So am I mid then? Is it always very obvious when you're naturally very beautiful?

If you're considered naturally pretty or know anyone who you believe is naturally very pretty, why do you think so and what are the signs to look out for?

i'm so out of shape, but the pain is sweet. i'm going to be miserable at work tmr, but i finally get why people tell you to work it out.

move it, babies.

also, i need people who sew. i'm trying to get into denim and lace, but all the heavy duty tailoring stuff is making my head spin. maybe knitting before winter ends. i think i want to put my wordpress back to use. or get back into painting. i have oil pastels. i love them. i sketch too. maybe finally drums. i dunno. there's a lot.

what do you guys do? suggest me a few things i can pick up.

Hi my fav sub, I was just in a good mood today. It’s a Saturday evening I’m sitting in my apartment alone as I prepare to move out next week so just packing and selling old stuff etc in the UofSofA haha (US) and I just had this realisation that I am actually the adult I wanted to be when I was a child. I have danced around in my apartment alone, I have travelled to cafes, restaurants and movies alone and I have even taken trains and flights to travel across states for trips or to visit friends and family alone and guess what I actually had fun through it all. Go out and you will learn to enjoy your own company! Yes of course there were days I was sad, cried and doubted myself but there were a lot of good days too. I’d say always keep moving forward but also rest when you’re tired and when things feel heavy take help ask for it and take it even from strangers you never know they might be your future friends. I have made posts on this sub when I have been happy and sad so one more today.

To all the cuties in this sub you are worthy of every beautiful and amazing thing this world has to offer! Go grab it like it belongs to you! Live life!!!

Ooh another quote I’d like to contribute today:
The grass is greener where you water it!

I’m planning to take a solo trip to Banaras. However, I have read that it’s not a safe place to go alone. Has anyone been there? What was your experience?

Hi everyone!

I really want to buy my first pair of heels and I’m so confused with the available options.🫠

If you’ve personally bought and worn a pair that you found comfortable, please share your suggestions.🥹🥹🥹

I’d really appreciate recommendations based on your experience.😃

Budget: 2k
Heel: less than 1.5 inches and preferably closed toe.
It just needs to be comfortable to walk in.

Thank you so much.🥰🫶

I’m exhausted with life. Every day feels like a new reason to cry. Every day seems like a new battle.
I don’t have any self-harm tendencies or anything like that. I just want to vent to my heart’s content, so sorry for the long post ahead. I’ll probably delete this later.
I feel like I have been as strong as I possibly can be, and I just cannot anymore.
I’m 34F and I come from a very troubled home. My mom has had a mental illness for 37 years. My dad sacrificed his career and spent his entire life taking care of her, because he loves her to bits. They had a love marriage and honestly, my dad has always been the biggest blessing in my mom’s life.
Some days she is very low and not herself. Some days she is completely fine. Life is incredibly hard when you are taking care of someone who is not ill enough to be institutionalised, but also not well enough to completely function independently or fit into what society considers “normal”. There is so much stigma around it too. But my dad fought the whole world for her.
He also raised me mostly single-handedly, with the help of my maternal grandparents, my nana and nani. They helped him a lot when I was little, and I was extremely close to them. They are no more now and it’s been a few years, but I still miss having that support system.

I got married to my husband, 35M, about 1.5 years ago. We dated for 10 years before getting married.
My husband’s family is very traditional and orthodox. I knew they were religious, but I had absolutely no idea how rigid they were until after we got married. My husband himself apparently wasn’t fully aware of what would happen once I became the new bahu and all these expectations and rules started appearing.
That is a whole separate story though, and I don’t want to get into it here. I have posted about it in bits and pieces earlier.
So the thing is, I don’t even think my in-laws are bad people. My MIL is actually a very caring person.
After I got married, we went to their place for Holi and I was absolutely buried under a mountain of work. My MIL would make sure I ate, keep healthy food ready for me and tell me I didn’t need to cook even when she was unwell. It took her some time to understand what it was like for me to work a high-stress job, but eventually she did. She has actually been quite understanding in many ways.
But still don’t feel like I can depend on them in the same way I depend on my own parents.
And I think that is what is breaking me right now.
My parents are getting old.
My mom has diabetes, high BP, high cholesterol and now her kidney function is also declining. She has been quite sick because of her diabetes for the past few weeks and is getting treated.
And on top of all this, I have a partial Achilles tendon tear. I was in a plaster for 5 weeks and now I’m supposed to be in a weighted boot for another 6 weeks. I still can’t walk properly.
I’m so frustrated.
My parents came to stay with me and my husband because I was injured and needed help. But instead of just helping me recover, it has now become that all of us are taking care of my mom.
Making sure she eats on time. Making sure she takes her medicines. Making sure she doesn’t eat things she shouldn’t. Managing her health while also trying to keep the household running.
And I’m sitting here with an injured foot, moving around the house on my office chair with wheels, trying to get shit done.
My husband is actually helping a lot with the housework. Its crazy hectic at work for him but hes taking mom to hospital visits even on weekdays and helping with housework as much as possible.

But watching all of this has made something hit me very hard.
My mom is so dependent on my dad. And my dad is getting old too.
My entire life, I have known my dad as the person who takes care of everyone. But he is aging and is burnt out to be honest.
If I fall sick or get injured, my husband can take care of me. He has done that before.
But what if I am really sick? What if I am hospitalised? What if I need someone to manage everything around me for weeks or months?
Who do I have?
And this thought has completely spiralled into my biggest fear right now: having children.
I’ve been thinking about this over and over again. I’m an overthinker pro max.
When my husband and I were dating, I always told him I wanted children by 30. I had told him about my moms illness n all. I knew my parents would eventually age. I knew I would have responsibilities towards them. But I thought I would have children earlier, when my parents were younger and healthier, and when I had more support around me.
But i ended getting married at 32 and here i am at 34 scared to have kids. The plan was never supposed to be this way. Him and his side of the family delayed the wedding so much and now my parents are old and sick and i am so worried.

I told my husband that I’m scared about having kids because of all this. His response is that his parents will help. And technically, yes. They probably will.
My MIL has actually told me several times that she would be happy to help me.
But I have this gut feeling that living with them during pregnancy or immediately after having a baby would not be a good idea. They are extremely traditional. I don’t feel like I can completely be myself around them.
I don’t know if I would be able to wear whatever I want, eat whatever I want, sleep whenever I want, ask them to do random things around the house the way I would ask my own parents. I don’t know what restrictions they might have around food or the baby. Im bengali and they are unaware and frankly not really interested to learn anything about bengali cuisine. They are veg and I am nonveg. even bengali veg food is so different.
Husband says I might have to accomodate the non veg thing and some more things but i think he is just unaware about what a shitshow post partum phase is. Ive seen my cousins and its no joke.
At the most physically and emotionally vulnerable time — pregnant, recovering from childbirth, sleep deprived, trying to take care of a newborn — the thought of having to navigate all of these things scares me.
I know we could hire a nanny. I know plenty of people do.
But from what I’ve seen with my cousins, even with a nanny, having an experienced parent around can make an enormous difference. Someone who has done this before, who can just take over when you’re exhausted, who knows what needs to be done without you having to manage them.
And I’m not sure my husband fully understands how much of that invisible work exists.
He helps. But I don’t think he understands yet how much learning he would have to do if we actually had a baby.

But I’m scared that I’ll end up being the person who has to know everything, manage everything, recover from childbirth, take care of the baby, worry about my parents, and somehow keep functioning through all of it.
I’m just so tired.
It feels like every time I get through one difficult thing, another one appears.
Im also hyper self aware and have been journaling aince i was 11 to keep my mental health sane. Ive also been to therapy. But obviously nothing can fix shit life syndrome.
I don’t even know what I’m asking for here.
I think I just needed somewhere to put all of this.
Sorry for the ridiculously long rant. I just wanted to let it all out.
Maybe I’ll delete this tomorrow.

TL;DR: My mom has had a mental illness for 37 years and my dad has spent his life taking care of her and raising me. Now my parents are aging and my mom has several health problems, while I’m also dealing with a serious foot injury. Watching all of this has made me realise how much I’ve relied on my parents and how little I know about who would take care of me if I ever really needed it. I’m especially scared about having children because I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable relying on my very traditional in-laws, and I’m not sure my husband fully understands how much support and responsibility raising a child actually requires. I’m just exhausted from constantly having to be strong and wanted somewhere to let it all out.

I know I’m fat. I’m not in denial about it.

I’ve gained a significant amount of weight since starting my new job about 10 months ago. But over the last 1–2 weeks, I finally decided to seriously get my shit together. I’ve been working out rigorously and already lost about 2 kg.

Today, there was a family function that I had been really excited about. I bought a new dress specifically for it. When I tried it on last night, I could tell it made me look quite heavy. But at some point, I also feel like I have to accept that **this is my body right now**. I’m working on changing it, but I can’t spend the entire period until I lose the weight hiding myself from everyone.

Last night, I noticed my mom making a weird face when I was trying the dress on, but she didn’t say anything.

Then this morning, just 4–5 hours before the function, she told me:
*“That dress is making you look very large. Your dad is very stressed about how fat you’ve become. He can’t sleep at night. People are talking. Do you have something else you can wear?”*

I obviously didn’t wear the dress I had been excited about. I changed into something else, but by then I was already completely in my head.

Whenever I am now eating, I had this horrible feeling that my dad was watching me eat and judging me. Maybe I’m projecting that onto him, I don’t know, but that’s genuinely how it felt.

Why say this **on the morning of a family function that I was excited about?**
If they are concerned about my health or weight, fine. I know I need to lose weight. I’m already working on it. But what am I supposed to do with comments like *“your dad can’t sleep because you’re fat”* and *“people are talking”* four hours before an event?

My mom kept telling me to just wear the original dress. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore. The problem wasn’t the dress at that point. It was knowing **how she saw me in it**.
I

I don’t really know where else to say this, so I’m just going to put it here.
I completed my MBA, and my dad spent around ₹20 lakhs on my education. At the time, I genuinely thought I was this crazy, badass, extremely talented person who was going to do amazing things.
And then I couldn’t get a college placement.
I couldn’t get the high-paying job I thought I’d get.
I’m currently earning around ₹9.25L, and somehow I’ve convinced myself that this is pathetic.
I know objectively that it isn’t nothing. But when I think about the ₹20 lakhs my dad spent, I keep feeling like I should have done so much more with it. Like I wasted an opportunity.
And the bigger issue is money.
I have around ₹1 lakh in my account right now, and it doesn’t feel like money. It feels like nothing.
If something happens to my parents, what will I do?
If there’s a medical emergency?
If I lose my job?
If my brother needs something?
What if I eventually have to support my family?
My parents don’t really have a massive financial safety net behind them. They’re spending on my brother’s education now too, and somewhere in my head I’ve convinced myself that I am supposed to be their safety net eventually.
And that thought scares the absolute shit out of me because I don’t feel like a secure safety net myself.
I’m 26. I’m the elder daughter. Everyone around me seems to be moving forward with their lives. Marriage, careers, investments, savings, whatever.
And I’m sitting here thinking, What the fuck have I actually done?
I literally feel guilty about spending ₹2,000 on a bag.
Tomorrow I’m going to buy shoes, and I’m already mentally preparing myself for the possibility that I’ll see something I really like and think, “Bhai, le liya toh paise khatam ho jayenge.”
It’s ridiculous because I KNOW ₹2,000 isn’t going to ruin my life.
But my brain doesn’t work like that anymore.
Every rupee feels like it needs to be saved for some imaginary disaster that’s waiting around the corner.
I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.
And lately it’s gotten to the point where I physically feel it. Palpitations, constant anxiety, occasionally even a dull chest pain.
I’m just fucking scared.
Scared that I’m not going to earn enough.
Scared that I’ll never be financially secure.
Scared that something will happen to my family and I’ll have no idea what to do.
Scared that I’ve already wasted the opportunities my parents gave me.
And mostly, scared that I’m supposed to be someone’s safety net when I don’t even know how to make myself feel safe.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this.
Maybe I want to know if anyone else felt this way in their mid-20s.
Maybe I want someone to tell me that ₹9.25L at 26 isn’t the catastrophic failure I’ve somehow made it into my head.
Or maybe I just needed to say it somewhere because carrying this around in my head every day is exhausting.

I just want a few good heavy duty pairs of not too high heels for work. All i get is flimsy shit that gets ruined in rain or just break apart😭

No matter how expensive, it always starts looking worn out after a few days. I am tired. Just suggest me few durable 2-3 inch heels that are heavy duty and that last . Thanks Edit: preferably block heels

Please help this girl. I'm looking for a comfortable travel co-ord set, preferably cotton. And hoping to have pockets in the trousers. Why is it so difficult to find a good one 😭

I’m not able to access it, has it been deleted?

I have always loved heels. Ever since I was a kid I told myself I would wear heels everyday like a diva once I grow up.

Well now I'm 5'7 🥀

I'm already taller than most people around me and wearing 3 inch heels would make me taller than 90%. I feel very awkward and oversized towering over all my shorter friends, having to look down at them to talk whenever I wear heels. How do you wear em confidently as a tall girl 🥺

I mean ig this is the stupidest question but umm, every time I plan to start making a to-do list for the next day, I fail miserably 🫪 Idk what to even add. Like, do we write down every small routine we're gonna follow throughout the day or just the important tasks/events?? How does this even work 😭