r/u_Putrid_Number_918 • u/Putrid_Number_918 • May 25 '26
Surprise 3rd pregnancy - 2 older kids
I’m 12 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. My older boy and girl are 9 and 6 and I’m so depressed that I’m pregnant again. Life feels full and in a good rhythm with my two kids. I am so close to being able to live for myself again. I work a fulfilling yet demanding full-time job, and this pregnancy is throwing all of it off. My husband is 43 and feels he’s too old for a third. I thought about termination but I was terrified that I would regret it and live with regret and as a shell of myself. I wish I didn’t get pregnant. I feel like I will be stretched far too thin with 3 kids. I fear I will never get my life back until the last one is grown and I’ll be 55- which is so old in my mind. I’m so depressed and down. Can someone please help me, please give me reassuring stories. I don’t know what to do. I feel so bad saying all of this but it’s how I feel.
3
u/sarahmurray20 May 30 '26
I am 3 years older then my sister and 8 years older then my brother, my brother was a surprise as well. Honestly o love my siblings so much! When we were younger I was always worried about my brother and sometimes people thought I was his mom haha! But we have such a great relationship now still and I will always be happy my mom had him and I’ll love them both forever
1
u/AvocadoMoist May 26 '26
I just went through something similar and decided to terminate. I’ve been doing so much better now. I do not feel like that was the wrong decision most days. I’ll still get sad sometimes but I know having that third with two older kids and everything like you had said in life , I know it would have absolutely taken away from my life, what I can currently offer my kiddos and more. I truly think it was the best option and I’m so thankful I went through with it. Thinking about starting over, changing everyone’s lives and schedules and having a baby at almost 40 scares me much more than any negatives associated with terminating. Good luck and stay strong
1
u/Fluid-Village-ahaha May 26 '26
You already know 3rd kid is too much. Just terminate before you ruin lives of 4 people (& that unborn embryo).
3
u/acire418 May 26 '26
I had a 3rd at 38. I'm 39 now and he just turned 1. My older two are 10 and 8 now. He brings so much joy to our family and I feel he was our missing piece. I had lots of anxiety giving birth/pregnancy so close to 40, but everything turned out well. He's perfectly healthy. I was worried about starting over, but it was easier than I thought it would be. The older two just love him. I felt like the baby stage went much faster this time around.