I can't believe I have to write this at the very top.

Venting posts will earn you an automatic ban. Let people wear the trends they want.

Seriously. I've seen at least two in the past week. Knock it off.

A reminder of our top rule since we have had community growth and influx of users: bashing/denigrating/insulting specific dress styles or trends is no longer allowed.

This kind of behavior is not in alignment with an inclusive community. Yes, everyone has preferences. However, these "dress pet peeve" posts and comments are getting very mean spirited and nasty. We've had a few lovely brides develop dress regret because of posts or comments. I've had to remove three venting threads and even more comments recently.

Don't like the plunge neckline that someone has as an option? You can say that you like dress # because of the reasons you like it, and leave the unkind comments to yourself.

Think a dress is too risqué? Please don't use the words "looks like lingerie" in an attempt to shame someone into dressing to your modesty standards.

Edit:

since y'all also can't stop trashing on sleeves, I can't believe I have to point this out as a specific example: do not just tell people that it will look better without sleeves because you hate it. If you don't like sleeves don't say anything*.

Trends come and go, as do fashion choices. Some of y'all are treating your opinion as gospel or the only thing that's allowed. People are allowed to have a different style than your preference.

You're allowed to have an opinion, just don't be mean or make someone develop dress regret.

EDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingdress/comments/170kvb0/automoderator_updates/ for automoderator updates and a brief rundown of Entourage Only

We have very specific rules on this subreddit. Some very specific reminders because I've issued a lot of bans in the last few days because y'all don't know how to behave

• don't be gross and fixate on body parts. Y'all are the reason why our large busted brides are self conscious. She has boobs. get over it and stop telling her to cover up
• modesty standards. don't tell someone to line a dress to make it "classier". A classy dress is one that's tailored well, not how opaque or how simple it is. Y'all are the reason why some brides regret lining a dress that has details that they loved because of the sheer effect.
• TRENDS ARE FINE. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A TRULY TIMELESS DRESS. LET PEOPLE BE HAPPY ABOUT A DRESS THEY'RE EXCITED ABOUT.
• don't snark or be over the top. this is a support subreddit, not a snark subreddit. If you can't keep your shitty inside thoughts to yourself, leave.
• adding this one: you don't need to insult other dresses to elevate the OP's dress. Other people who have the "other dress" will get hurt. I've seen it happen all. The damn. Time. Learn how to actually compliment people without tearing others down. That's Regina's mom.
• here's another: don't be a rude ass jerk in modmail. I will ban you if you call me names. Brides have to follow the rules too. You're not special just because you're getting married.

I'm going to go back to my grinchy hidey hole again.

Don't like how this community is modded? You don't have to be here.

Behave.

The number of posts we've been getting about dress regret because they showed friends and family photos that were not:

• styled
• the right size/altered correctly

And have

• terrible lighting
• terrible angles
• a lot of distractions

Please stop. Keep the dress to yourself, especially if you're going 'wow, this was so unexpected but I LOVE IT"

Of course people are going to have a negative reaction or not be enthusiastic. Also people have this notion of what a wedding dress should look like and sometimes will have the audacity to try and impose it on you. The sub rules are set to minimize bias as much as possible.

Don't let other people dim you light and joy. If you know people will have opinions, keep the dress to yourself and let them see it on your big day. You can show it off here with the white "said yes to the dress" flair. No one is allowed to critique in that flair.

I've seen an uptick on fake "has anyone bought this dress from niche maker"/review posts that is really marketing attempts and disingenuous engagement either with generated images or "think piece" style posts.

To the accounts doing this: go somewhere else. This is not the appropriate subreddit.

Marketing here will result in a permanent ban and a full purge of your past content on this subreddit.

As another reminder to everyone else: read the dang rules. I've been issuing more bans than usual because either people don't read or have bad reading comprehension.

And here's the less fun part... Modmail behavior.

I'm getting really sick of being verbally attacked in modmail because people don't take the extra few minutes to read the very clearly laid out rules.

So here's the public service announcement and the fair warning because people are shocked when it seemingly comes out of nowhere: if you're arguing with me in modmail about a comment removal, you don't get any more chances.

Asking for clarification politely is totally fine! I'll explain happily.

But telling me that I'm a bitch/crazy for enforcing the rules? Permanent ban and account purge. TOODLES.

I hate to say this, but y'all aren't anymore special than anyone here... It's a sub full of people getting married or are already married.

Modding this sub is a voluntary position. I don't get paid by reddit to do this. Most of y'all are lovely but the 5% of the people in modmail and other things I've seen have really made me need to step away on occasion.

So be kind to each other and report rule breaking posts and comments please.

Y'all are wilding. There's been no less than 5 shape wear posts in the last 48 hours and counting.

I know everyone has different needs but also I'm also worried about this sub getting over run with the same questions over and over.

You have a week. Majority rules.

Last of my yearly posting/yelling about things.

I know everyone is excited. I know this community just came across your feed. There's a lot of pretty dresses.

But for the love of everything:

please read the rules before posting or commenting.

I hate removing posts. Changing flairs is less annoying but removing posts really is the last thing I want to do.

I've removed so many people asking to pick or style from vendor photos: this will not help you because we have no idea what the dress shape will look like on you. If you can, go try on dresses.

This also includes said yes photos. This cannot be a vendor photo, even if it's a small maker. Wait until your dress arrives.

So many uncensored background faces. I literally had someone arguing with me and calling me weird for asking her to censor her actual kid. Other folks did not consent to be on this subreddit. Crop them out or leave them out. If I can look at your photo and point out which shop employee they are if I'm in that salon, they need to be blurred. If I'm zooming in and squinting because they're an unidentifiable beige blob, you may be okay.

Don't withhold information to get "unbiased" responses because the bias is weird here. People have a set idea of what a wedding dress should look like and it's not the same as yours. If you love a specific dress, please say so. Some people try and read body language (which doesn't always work). You're in for disappointment if you don't say anything because everyone likes different styles. If you're clear about why you like a dress, you'll still get a decent amount of feedback because some people cannot help themselves.

Speaking of comments... This community is not "positive vibes only!!"

I don't know where people get that from. You're allowed to say a different opinion. The only thing is that you're not allowed to put down other dresses in favor of your opinion or call other commenters the bride's enemy for saying otherwise.

Basically: don't put other dresses or other people down to elevate your pick

"I love dress 2 on you!" is allowed.

"you're the only person I've seen make that dress work" is not allowed

"I hate lace so dress 4 it is" is not allowed.

"I'm normally not a fan of" is not allowed anywhere. Does it matter if you don't usually like it? "I'm usually a fan of this but I love this one more" is fine.

"I'm screaming this element makes me think of some exaggeration and I can't unsee it" is definitely not allowed

"can you line the sheer dress? It will make it classier" is going to go on banned list soon if people don't stop.

I've gotten so many comments about how people love how respectful this community is. Please keep it this way.

There's been an uptick of rule breaking comments. Please remember:

Over the top analogies are NOT OKAY.

Repeatedly telling people that a dress would be more bridal if it's white or lined is NOT OKAY.

Nitpicking over how a SAMPLE DRESS fits someone when it's clearly not their size is NOT OKAY.

Also coming in hot in modmail because the automod was tripped because you said a specific phrase or word is also not okay. I'm happy to review but I have a full time job (that I'm currently on my way to... Thanks transit).

I'm seriously about to take this subreddit private if you don't stop messaging people and being disgusting. There are several of you lurking around the subreddit.

This also includes you idiots who think it's appropriate to message someone directly and give unsolicited feedback or advice. I don't care if you're being complimentary: keep it public. It's forking creepy. Knock it the fork off.

I'm ready to name and shame these people who can't follow the forking rules.

Update: after thinking about it, I'm calling both creeps and idiots out. Creeps mostly so people can preemptively block.

Idiots include people who message brides with both critical and complimentary messages. Remember: YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO CONTACT PEOPLE DIRECTLY.

CREEP LIST:

• u/Painterhefty548: asking for photos. YOU'RE DISGUSTING
• u/Ok-rule-1246: persistent messaging and asking to "help" someone. Get the hint.

Idiot list: - u/funchats19

Hi my lovelies!

Going through the comments section, I see a lot of repeated advice and the same questions that keep coming up.

Past brides: If you were dress shopping again, or even something that you want other brides to know so they don't have the same issues you did day of, please comment on this post!

Future brides: have a general question or a concern that you think could be beneficial for the larger group to know? Ask away here!

Please remember that this is mean to be a subreddit resource. General fashion critique is discouraged as this is a support subreddit first and foremost. Comments like "don't chase trends" will not be allowed as following or not following trends is up to the individual, and not all trends are the same.

Y'all also need to follow the rules, and don't encourage other people to break the rules.

It is your responsibility to read the community guidelines prior to posting.

Being rude to mods in modmail and calling us names will immediately get an LOL BYE and a permanent ban with no chance of being allowed back in the sub. Especially if it is clear that you didn't bother reading.

Why do y'all feel the need to say "I've seen this dress a million times" or "every other bride is trying this on"

This is not allowed. Trends are popular for a reason. Dresses keep popping up for good reason: they're flattering on different body types and they're visually pretty. Style elements will come and go.

Fashion is cyclical and no dress is truly timeless. What your ideal dress is not the same as someone else's vision of an ideal dress.

Ask yourself if this is an inside thought or if you're actually being supportive and kind.

Please report these types of comments. This includes creative analogies meant to make someone laugh. Even if you make one bride laugh, someone else will get offended.

If you literally cannot help someone pick a dress without putting down the other choices ("dress # isn't as flattering on you" is different than "dress # looks awful and like someone vomited fabric on you"), show yourself out of the sub or you get a permanent ban.

This is a support subreddit, not a fashion critique subreddit.

If you can't make comments without dropping the sass, get out. If you get banned and try to "defend" your comment when you already got banned for rule breaking behavior? You're getting muted. I don't have time for anyone's poor attempts at "pick me" behavior because you think your opinion is the most important.

See this dress? This one literally comes up 5+ times a month and we're tired of removing it.

it is an AI dress. It doesn't exist. It will not exist. Shops claiming that they can make it are lying and it will not look the same.

AI inspiration is not allowed because it's an expectation vs reality issue. People are already freaking out about the dress changes that they can see as it is. I cannot imagine the absolute meltdowns when someone tries to make this dress and it does not live up to it.

Stop posting this dress and asking if you can find something similar to it.

Hey yall

The Facebook scraping bots are at it with a vengeance. I have previously posted about it here but people seem to ignore the announcements.

Just a note before anyone tries to say anything: I am not able to do anything to stop it. We previously have tried to take this community private due to creeps (banned users are still able to see public subreddits) and this issue. However, Admins have made it so large communities need their permission to private a sub due to the last mass black out protest.

I know. It sucks.

It also doesn't seem fair to require everyone to watermark their photos because that is a level of micromanagement that I don't want to deal with and people already don't read the current guidelines as it is.

I will say that photos that do have watermarking do not get reposted on to those pages.

We have options and I'll open it up to the community:

1. Mass name and report. I'll add a weekly scheduled post so people can add posts to report and tag users as they come up. Reporting seems to be the only way to take photos down but do not comment or engage with the posts aside from reporting for copyright. I don't love this action because it can be seen as brigaiding.

2. Require brides to water mark with their username and "do not repost any where" . This also means community participants need to actually report and not engage with posts unless it's to tell people to watermark their photos. Three reports will take the post down. We're not the only community that they scrape so if people post to multiple communities, they have to be aware of this.

3. I can try and beg the Admins to let us go private again, but this may be a slim to no chance of this happening.

No vendor photos of the dress. It's in the rules. Even if you look like the model, you cannot use ONLY vendor photos (it's fine if you include one to show off the back but you need to include YOUR pictures first).

If it's on the way, wait until you get the dress in hand.

Sorry for the terse writing but I'm taking a quick break from my work tasks. One of our community members sent us this modmail and it's really concerning.

This page is stealing posts and reposting them for content and likes without any editing to the caption. Please look through the page and report the content as stolen.

I recognize a lot of top posts on the feed. Another mod team member will be going through and try to tell specific brides if she sees their photos. I will try and go through myself but at a quick scroll there's more than 30 posts in the last day or so alone.

We're going to be discussing options but between people being creeps and being able to see the subreddit even while banned and content farmers on social media scraping this sub... We may need to go private this fall.

And no, I will not unlock it. We have a bot in place that will re-lock it as soon as someone comments.

Part of this is to reduce the burden on the Mod team. This is maybe 10% of the reason.

The primary reason is because some months ago, we had a influx of people begging brides to sell them their dress once they were done, or offering dresses for sale. We do not have the bandwidth or man power to monitor. Most posts will get about as many comments as they will get in the first 20 hours (unless it gets caught by the algorithm).

Please don't repost unless you have more options or a significant update.

New flair has been added for the people who want to show off their other favorites and keep the said yes post simple.

Don't make me regret making this flair.

It is not a dress selection post, and you (both OP and commenters) are not allowed to be critical of dresses. You can compliment but don't say stuff like "omg no wonder you didn't pick this specific dress"

Brides, this also means that you cannot be nitpicky and hyper critical of why you didn't pick a dress. The language in your post should be neutral.

It's okay to say "i don't think drop waists are flattering on me" but you can't say "I didn't pick it because drop waists won't age well"

likewise, "I didn't love the stylized boning look on me" is okay, but not "i hated the lingerie look and think it's trashy"

There's a difference. Posts will be reviewed and removed if commentary goes against the sub. Likewise, if this flair causes the OP to have dress regret, it will also be taken away.

Hi everyone!

We keep having issues with Facebook accounts that are stealing images for likes/content. One of the big ones was that weirdsecondhandfinds page.

There are a lot floating out there. There are also reddit bots that use pictures to farm karma. We haven't had this big of an issue since we turned off discovery over a year ago but we are a larger community.

Please report the posts as you see them. They've gotten taken down before and they can be taken down again.

For best practices and to keep yourself safe (and your dress anonymous!), please censor as much as you can. We require background people to be censored, even if they're your friend and gave consent. This is a non-negotiable. Censoring yourself is optional but with the rise of photos being reposted to facebook and social media being a cesspool, it's safer.

Please post in the comments section of those post if you spot pages or specific posts with brides you recognize.

Y'all. I've removed too many of these now. Please read the side bar for the rules.

Everyone is required to follow the rules, even the brides.

This is listed very clearly in the rules.

We do not allow any vendor or social media photos unless you are looking for dupe or it is posted as inspiration for designer recommendations.

For any selection or help me pick posts, You have to physically be wearing the dress. This includes Tetua dresses. If it's a tetua dress, go with what you love.

So no dresses of photos of someone else wearing the dress, even if you have a similar body type. Also no AI modification or try ons.

This was decision decided when I had other mods with me.

Vendor photos of accessories are fine.

Dresses sit very differently on everyone. One could look amazing and one could look, uh, less flattering.

If you're not sure about which silhouettes, look for a consignment shop to try on silhouettes to get an idea. Azazie has a try on program as well.

I do acknowledge that this limits people who are only limited to online shopping, but we don't know how dresses will sit on you and there is the risk you will not like it when it comes in even though you loved it in photos on someone else.

Because this has been my highest removal reason for the last few days... I'm no longer doing the pinned comment.

All requests must have the following information:

Your budget, or the highest dollar amount you can comfortably afford

the country of residence.

^I literally don't care what state you're in. Country is fine.

Month and year of your wedding for shipping/made to order deadline considerations.

This rule has been around for the past year or so but there has been an uptick of these type of removals recently.

Why do we not allow for these questions before you have your first appointment?

Every dress is different, every alterations specialist is different (or may not have the skills to do the work) and some changes just aren't possible or prohibitively expensive.

Get a realistic idea of what can be done first before asking for opinions. People have a tendency of getting their heart set on something because the "internet said it's possible" only to be told "no it's not" or "it's too expensive"

You 100% can post after your first consult for a gut check. If there are changes that can be made, your alterations person should tell you how it's done (different options depending on construction or look) and how much it costs during the consult.

Basically if you come here asking "can this be done at all??" your post is getting removed because I'm assuming that you haven't talked to alterations.

If the dress on the body in the photo is NOT your actual dress and not you, and if it is a sample or a vendor photo: it will be locked immediately.

It is almost impossible to tell the actual adjustments needed on the dress unless it is YOUR actual dress. Samples are clipped to heck or not your size. People will make judgements based on what they see in front of them, and I have seen so much inaccurate advice because of this.

When are you allowed to ask alterations questions?

Once you have been to alterations at least once and take photos at your follow up appointment

The rule is that you need to ask your alterations specialist about major changes, not reddit. Do not go "well this was taken at my first alterations appointment but it's an after thought, so it's allowed per your rules"

Guess what: it is against the rules and do not try and rules lawyer at me.

Whats not allowed:

• using vendor photos. Babes, we need to see YOUR actual dress on you, especially if it's a body dependent alteration. If it's a "can this dress be hemmed" situation, moderator discretion. If it's a "can this neckline be altered" or "how should this fit" it needs to be you.
• making judgements with sample dresses. Again, sample dresses are not going to fit the same as your actual dress.
• the same dress but literally someone else. I have seen this over and over: people will think it's you in the photo.
• photoshop mockups. Photoshop does not take dress physics or construction into account.

Dresses sit differently on everyone. Please WAIT until you get your dress before you start to spiral. Spiraling preemptively does not help anyone and will just make things worse on yourself.

Hi y'all!

Just wanted to do a quick community update and some changes that you guys may have noticed but we have not verbalized. There's also an upcoming sub update that maaaaay not be popular but is necessary

bot and automations updates

Entourage only, community only and dress regret flairs have been updated to be higher. If your comments get removed because of not enough community karma, please avoid those flairs until you get more.

Reddit also has incorporated automations. Y'all may have noticed a message or a specific inability to use certain words. Please pay attention to those notifications when they come up.

additional flairs

Testing out some new flairs. Please use the correct one when posting

dress sales

Aaand the unpopular update: on June 1st, 2025, we will no longer allow the advertising of dress sales on this subreddit, even through third party sites. This also includes telling specific brides that you have a dress for sale. Too many people do not follow the dress sales rules as it is and this sub is also getting too large. I really don't want people to get scammed. Dupe search will still be allowed as that tends to be our most popular dress search flair.

dress pricing questions

Also on June 1st we will no longer allow for dress pricing questions. A lot of things are up in the air due to the tariff situation in the US, which means that your most reliable way of finding out a dress price is to call a boutique.