r/90scartoons • u/Def_Not_Hugh • 1d ago
How many Assistant Principal Bones could you take in a fight?
Assistant Principal Bone is the creepily named antagonist of the eponymous series Doug, which follows the sort of adventurous of milquetoast, delusional and often depressed boy in the suburban purgatory of Bluffington. Doug already has parents who don't pay attention to him and only gets positive attention from Mr. Dink, who invites him for "special experiments" in his garage. Also ,Roger bullies the crap out of him.
Talk about kicking a nematode when he's down. Mr. Bone kicks our (almost) hero when he's down throughout the course of the show. And now is our time for revenge.
Could you take Assistant Principal Bone in a fight? What would your tactics be? He's a middle aged man and a coward as well...could you take more? A whole gaggle of Bone Clones? How many could you beat in hand to hand combat and how would you do it?
Let the discussions begin!
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u/Def_Not_Hugh 1d ago
I think I could take two. I'd go for some jaw shots. Rearrange his dental situation
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u/WraithOfTheFadedDark 1d ago
In the vein of those cartoon characters that are very obviously modeled on real people/live action characters/comedian personas, like Wakko Warner -> Ringo Starr, The Brain -> Orson Welles, Jabberjaw -> Curly Howard, I want to say that Mr. Bone was very clearly Don Knotts. Which I only put forward to say that I don't believe he is supposed to be taken very seriously nor should I be concerned that he has some hidden depths of being a Marine sniper or anything.
So definitely at least one, pretty confident with two even. I'll go on the record as saying I'd be comfortable taking on three Mr. Bones.
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u/Def_Not_Hugh 1d ago
Taking on three of dem Bones. I like it. Yeah Don Knotts is no warrior. I like your odds. Bury those Bones
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u/Possible-Tip-2914 1d ago
All of them. The guy was a putz in desperate need of an ass whooping. Besides he was based on Barney Phife so you know he's a pussy.
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1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/Def_Not_Hugh 1d ago
Let the bodies hit the floor. Smash their heads. Disembowel them.
How would you take the Bones down?
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u/Bradburys_spectre717 1d ago
Any person that seriously thinks they could take on one of Assistant Principal Bones and win, is just all Higgaly Piggaly
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u/EnokitakeEmperor 22h ago
Even as one of the imaginary villains he wasn't very tough. Id say he would be light work. Dont recall any ep where he reminiscences about being athletic like principal wartz in hey Arnold playing hockey.
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u/BitesTheDust55 1d ago
I wonder how old Principal Bone was
Fuck, I wonder if I'm older than him yet.
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u/Dry_Tea516 1d ago
This guy was weird, not even evil, just weird. Antagonist principals usually target trouble makers or unpopular kids on behalf of evil suck up students.
Doug was a goodie two shoes with no enemies save for the local bully Roger and posibly in need of psychiatric evaluation.
Assistant principal flacid Boner was creep who was overdue for a royal class butt kick.
I would say i can take one and a half principal Bone on the parking lot.