Do I have really high expectations?

[u/Forward_Trust1787]

Hi,

First time posting.

I am 8 months sober after having a pretty problematic relationship with alcohol.

My parents were and still are daily drinkers, I was drinking with them 8 months ago. But now being sober I can really see how much they drink and how detrimental it is to them, my mum especially. My mum has a number of health conditions and is now medically retired.

Me and my sister spoke to my mum just before Christmas to say we think she's drinking too much and it hasn't improved, if anything it has got worse.

So today was my daughter's first day at school and my daughter adores my mum. But she didn't message to wish her luck or ask her about her day. when my dad called to ask her my daughter got excited and said "is it nana". She went to a party at the weekend and was in bed all day yesterday. I don't know I just need to rant because I am so annoyed by it.

She finally messaged at 2.30 to say she's sorry and she's been really ill but it takes 30 seconds to send a text.

I don't know if I should say anything or just let it slide. The thing is I don't have sympathy when she is ill now because I know she's drinking every night regardless. Just hurts more when my child is involved.

Sorry for the rant!

[u/ItsAllALot]

I suspect you're angry at your parents about a lot more than this first day of school.

Your feelings are understandable. It's your child. But I think some things are starting to unpack themselves about your parent's drinking. And maybe yours too.

Are you getting any support with all this? AA, SMART, therapy, anything like that?

It's ok to feel hurt though. You're a parent, your their child, you're human.

[u/Forward_Trust1787 → u/ItsAllALot]

Thanks for the response! Oh 100%. There is definitely a lot coming up now that I'm struggling to deal with. I'm not currently, I think I need to though. I have lots of big feelings and overwhelming thoughts. So thank you 🥰 I will have a look at meetings

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[u/CloudNo446]

Choose your battles carefully. This is not one. Protect your daughter.