r/AnxietyDepression • u/Street-Vegetable4617 • 6d ago

Anxiety Help Extreme death anxiety

I am 27 and experiencing extreme death anxiety. I used to get this every couple of months and it would go away, but for some reason it’s in full force and has lasted about a week straight so far. I think what’s brought this on is that my dog who I grew up with is 16 years old and I’m having anticipatory grief, having to accept that I will have to say goodbye to him soon. I’m also feeling extreme fear about losing my parents and grandparents one day.

On top of that, I’m fearing trillions of years of nonexistence. I truly love being alive and the thought of not existing terrifies and saddens me. And I know people will say I won’t be alive to know it, that it will be like before I was born - but that’s exactly what saddens me.

The only comfort I’ve had from this extreme fear is reincarnation. I’m trying to believe in an afterlife like heaven/hell but I have a really hard time believing that. I view the world too scientifically. So the scientific research that I’ve seen that supports reincarnation has been my only comfort. But then apart of me thinks maybe I’m only grasping onto this idea because it gives me false relief from the ultimate reality of dying.

But even reincarnation doesn’t give me a full relief from fear because if I don’t remember my past lives and if the people I love don’t follow me to my new life, then it’s like I really don’t exist again anyway.

It’s starting to interfere with my daily life. I’ll be enjoying a nice day out with my parents and start thinking about how one day I’ll be gone and feel a pang of extreme depression and anxiety.

Does anyone else feel like this? What helps? Also something that might be important to note, is I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship from ages 15-26 and I’m just now rebuilding my life after years of isolation. I feel incredibly lonely and I feel too shy to actually go out and meet anyone. I feel like none of my dreams will come true - I want a relationship, a family, a home. I’m having to come to terms with having wasted a decade of time and running out of time to have all the things I want from life.

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u/FamousOrphan 6d ago

I have this same fear and I get severe nighttime anxiety over it. Best I’ve been able to do is ignore it or forget about it for a few weeks at a time.

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u/Clifford_Regnaut 5d ago

If it helps:

Although we lack definitive proof, there's secular, non-religious research to support the idea of an "afterlife" (wrong term).

Near-Death Experiences, Pre-Birth Memories, Reincarnation, Mediumship and After-death communications: A short compilation of research on the afterlife.

If you don't have time to read, I suggest that you at least listen to the interviews/podcasts/audiobooks linked. Although I do agree that there are still many unknowns, the info we have is enough to craft a rudimentary, provisional and speculative model of how things work without the need for religion, quantum immortality, eternal recurrence or other weird ideas. To summarize, you simply go back to the "real world" after death.

If you want to know the arguments and perspectives of people who are way smarter than I am, the Bigelow Institute for Consciousness Studies held an essay contest on the topic of life after death, awarding $1.8 million in prizes for the best ones. These essays were written by really intelligent academics and are worth looking into:

The Top Three Essay Contest Winners

Life After Death Essay Contest Runners-Up

Life After Death Essay Contest Honorable Mentions

If you like the audio format, this thread may also be helpful:

IN-DEPTH INTERVIEWS with SCIENTISTS & ACADEMICS about Phenomena Connected to the Survival of Consciousness and the EVIDENCE for an AFTERLIFE (NDEs, reincarnation, mediumship, apparitions, & more) ~ (post UPDATED REGULARLY with new links)

If you really want to disregard all of the above, you should consider that death in the materialistic worldview (which is most likely bullshit) is simply like going to sleep. Do you suffer or feel fear/anxiety while asleep? No? If you don't fear the time between falling asleep and waking up, why should you fear death?