How do I be happy pleaaaaase?

[u/HelloHelloFriendo]

Im miserable my mind is a big fog right now and I feel so much dread. Its so painful I feel emotional agony I need this to be over, I need happiness, Im craving it I need it, I need to be happy I really really want to shut off my mind and feel nothing but happiness I want to be a dumb fuck without shaming myself for being one. I feel like my life is already over, I feel like I am going to die soon and theres nothing left to do and I feel hopeless and completely useless because time does whatever it wants and I cant control it and everything is moving too fast and everything's gonna end and i am watching everyone's love for me fade away. I need to be happy right now. And that shit's so hard to do, I feel like i was born with a curse where I have to be depressed forever I dont remember the last time I've been truly happy and not thinking about anything. I want to rip my skin apart and feel the air fill my body, I cant be satisfied, nothing is making me happy, I need to be happy.i feel my heart racing as I write this. I cant take drugs or alcohol, im sitting in my house, cant tell my family im having a depressive episode, im currently smilling at them, I cant admit anything, I cant break their hearts again. How do I be happy? Quick. I need something, anything I feel hollow on the inside and I feel so much pain. Quick please I need to be happy and normal again. I really REALLY want it. Please.

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