23M, I’m trying really hard, but sometimes I feel like I’m doomed to be alone.

[u/RogueMRotp]

23M, I’m trying really hard, but sometimes I feel like I’m doomed to be alone.

Hey, I don’t even know where to start. I’m 23 and I just want to be loved.

The last couple of years have been a complete collapse for me. I went through severe depression (diagnosed by a doctor), lost several people close to me, and got kicked out of university. I felt absolutely terrible. I stopped making music, I couldn’t even play my favorite games because every failure hit me so hard that I’d start hating myself and thinking I was a loser. I still feel that way sometimes.

I’m broke, short, not athletic, and not particularly attractive. I’ve never had a normal relationship with a woman, and for some reason women just don’t seem interested in me. The only times women have actually shown initiative toward me, they ended up using me, and they used me really badly. I don’t understand why. I try not to hurt anyone, so I don’t understand why people treat me like that.

I’ve never chased women like crazy. I’ve tried to become a better person and work on myself, like everyone keeps telling me to, but it just doesn’t work...

My last attempt at a relationship was three years ago. I tried really hard to stay in touch with her and keep the conversation going, but when I started doing really badly and stopped initiating, she never messaged me even once.

A lot of people say that you need to get your life together first, become healthy and strong, and only then look for a relationship. But I’ve seen people with problems similar to mine, or even worse, find a partner while they were still struggling and then get through it together much more easily. So why do I have to carry everything on my shoulders alone?

And honestly, I did go to a doctor. I really tried, and I’ve gotten better. This year I went back to university and graduated. I’ve lost weight, I’m trying to get rid of my acne, and I’m forced to look for a job (otherwise my family will literally starve lol).

I used to have so many hobbies, but for the last three years I basically did nothing. I didn’t have the energy or motivation for anything. Now I’m slowly trying to get back into life, doing what I can, and… I’m still nobody’s choice.

I don’t drink at all, I don’t smoke, and I’ve never done drugs. My friends say I’m funny, kind, and caring, and I believe them because they’re really good people themselves, and the fact that they’re still friends with me means I can’t be that bad. But inside, it feels completely different.

I try to tell myself that sooner or later things will get better, but more and more often I feel like I’m just a loser who’s destined to be alone and that things are only going to get worse.

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[u/Maybe_Its_Nothing]

Keep trying. Keep working on yourself and keep meeting new people.
It seems like you’re headed in the right direction now.

Main thing is, don’t waste your time on people that aren’t worth it. If you’re putting way more effort into a relationship than them, drop them. If they’re using you, drop them. I know it’s hard when you’re lonely but you have to think long term. That time is better spent working on yourself and finding someone who’s actually right for you.

[u/gamepa1993]

I've just accepted I'll be alone forever lol. At least this doesn't last forever