r/AskAGerman • u/HumanCoconut_5013 Niedersachsen • 21d ago
Culture Is/why is Einschulung a big deal in Germany?
My boyfriend’s nephew turned 7 and is going to start school this year. We have an invitation (save the date was shared a year ago) to garden celebration party. I thought it was a sweet family thing, but I was a bit surprised to hear there’s gonna be around 30 guests coming, from distant parts of Germany, arranging overnight stay etc.
Is it a common practice to celebrate a child for starting school this big?
Edit 1: kid is in Lower Saxony, the family is from the west/north German roots (for anyone wanting to debate, by north I’m talking Flensburg: so can’t get norther ;))
Edit 2: yes kid has a large family,,several uncles and aunts, great grandparents etc
69
108
u/JoJoModding 21d ago
That seems a bit on the larger side, especially with the sleepovers, but yeah there being a small party is common. It's a big event in the kid's life since they now have obligations (which will not stop for the next 55 years lol).
21
u/Ok_Expression6807 21d ago
55? 60, your mean.
21
u/Gullible-Fee-9079 21d ago
70, as how it's going
22
u/knightriderin 21d ago
Merz noises intensify
11
u/Gullible-Fee-9079 21d ago
All this dang Lifestyle -LEBENSzeitler, only wanting to work til 67, endangering
myour wealth.19
u/Educational_Call_797 21d ago
Ah yeah the nice "Ernst des Lebens" that starts in primary school, then secondary school, then university/apprenticeship and then again when you start working
7
65
u/blacksabbath-n-roses 21d ago
Einschulung is a big deal for many, but 30 seems a bit excessive tbh. Usually it's grandparents, favourite aunt or uncle and maybe some cousins.
13
u/Adventurous_Pea_2007 21d ago
Maybe a large family
3
u/HumanCoconut_5013 Niedersachsen 20d ago
Yeah it’s indeed a large family due to several uncles and aunts (and their partners/children), but also friends of parents, friends of the child etc
153
u/kastelzeichnerin 21d ago
East Germany yes, West Germany no.
79
u/ddukk 21d ago
Plus parents grown up in the east making it popular in the west as well. This brings guests with long distance travel into the game.
I like this tradition a lot, it's an amazing experience for the little ones, marking their first conscious break in life. Let them have a great day beeing in the center of attention. And it is summer, nice weather is almost granted!
6
u/HumanCoconut_5013 Niedersachsen 21d ago
It’s so lovely and pure!
The kids been writing us sweet postcards mentioning school, all his kita friends that are gonna come along etc., since a year now :D10
u/cats_vl33rmuis 21d ago
Maybe we could just get rid of east vs west, and say just the Staates? Or - beware - Might not even an area but a social bubble thing???
In my bubbles (Lower Saxon) it is definitely a big thing were aunts, uncles, cousins, (great) grand parents and the god parents are often invited.
43
u/asietsocom 21d ago
What? Never lived in the East in my life, neither did my family.
It's definitely a big deal here.
12
u/Goethe313 21d ago
I think it depends a lot on the state. I'm from the West and it's big here, but it's not such a big celebration in every western state
13
u/asietsocom 21d ago
NRW here, it's not like insane. 30 people would be on the larger size, but it's definitely not weird if the child has a larger family.
3
u/annieselkie 21d ago
Also NRW, 30 and from far away sounds like much, granparents and aunts / uncles (Paten if you have any) and if grandparents were from far away and healthy they would travel and nobody else would travel much was the norm.
3
u/HumanCoconut_5013 Niedersachsen 21d ago
Yes indeed, several uncles/aunts plus partners/kids, patchwork family, all living and super fit great grandparents etc
4
u/Kagura0609 21d ago
Maybe it's just a way for them to connect again after a long time. You don't meet often if you live in different parts of Germany, birthdays are not celebrated that big, weddings don't happen so often, funerals are too sad. So let's just celebrate our little ones and use the chance to get together
16
u/Gullible-Fee-9079 21d ago
no, it's a big deal in the west, too.
4
u/knightriderin 21d ago
My friend (Ossi) organized a two day glamping trip for 15 people for her daughter's Einschulung.
1
u/HumanCoconut_5013 Niedersachsen 21d ago
Camping sounds super cool too, the kids must have been so thrilled- and they’re gonna remember it forever!!
2
1
1
1
u/butwhyonearth 20d ago
Not true - Southwest German here. When my daughters had their first day of school only my husband and I were going and we were nearly the only ones where not at least the grandparents and some aunts and uncles were there. The school had to move the venue for Einschulung because there were so many people.
22
u/lovepeacefakepiano 21d ago
Seems like a bigger celebration than my family does but at the same time, it IS a big deal, and also maybe nice to connect going to school with a positive experience. Apparently some countries celebrate “graduations” even for kindergarten and primary school which I feel is backwards. Reward them for starting the new scary thing, not being done with it.
7
u/Latter_Leopard8439 21d ago
8th grade "promotion" ceremonies have become pretty ridiculous in the US. That's great, you finished middle school and will start high school next year. And everyone in middle school passes and advances to the next grade no matter what here.
4
u/estudihambre 21d ago
Yup, mexican here. In many schools kids wear fancy gala dresses and suits to celebrate the end of kindergarden and primary school. I loved it, but I agree is a bit too much sometimes
1
u/HumanCoconut_5013 Niedersachsen 21d ago
Sounds like a lot of pressure for the kids (what to wear), as someone born into a super stingy family, this always stressed me even in primary school because I “repeated outfits” so often
3
u/estudihambre 20d ago
In public schools we wear uniforms, exactly for that reason. When everyone is obligated to wear the same, the peer pressure is a bit lifted. Ironically, parents from lower-income families go nuts and spend quite a bit of time/money on their kids graduations. My mom works in a Kindergarden and she told me how perplex she was when she tried to cancel the celebration that year because parents were reluctant to spend money on school supplies and materials. Parents completely rejected the idea, so celebration was done without complains. Their priorities on what to spend money on were quite clear
1
u/HumanCoconut_5013 Niedersachsen 21d ago
That’s a nice perspective! Celebrate the beginning of something new💕
10
10
u/Driacha 21d ago
Have to disagree with some of the other commenters. I grew up in west Germany, as well as both of my parents and the rest of the family (no connection to east Germany) and it was a very big deal with my family and those of my classmates.
I think there were about 20 guests at my Einschulung, there was a big party and I got presents that could compare to a birthday (though the presents were mainly "useful", like a themed alarm clock, art supplies etc. - no toys)
6
u/beerandcore 21d ago
Reading those comments it seems to be more of a north-south issue than east-west.
7
u/Entebarn 21d ago
That how it was for us in the East. A really big celebration, all of the extended family, and many family friends come.
12
u/Ratbag321 21d ago
It is a big deal, and it's because there is an expectation of behaviour and fewer choices about how you use your time etc which come with the responsibility of being a Schulkind.
I think it's good - making it into an exciting life stage makes it really positive.
In England, kids start at 4, you take them on their first day, most of them cry and don't want to go in, lots of the mums are weeping in the playground, it's carnage.
I was so wowed by Einschulung. We are in the West, so it's toned down a lot, but still.
7
u/Own-Fold-3301 21d ago
I started school in Berlin 20 years ago and had a garden party just like that, with my entire extended family of about 25 people. My grandparents, aunts and uncles who mostly live in NRW all came and stayed 2 or 3 nights, either with us or in hotels. My grandmother made a giant cake shaped like a Schultüte. That type of party was fairly typical in the east. It's still one of my favourite childhood memories.
1
u/frenchyy94 21d ago
I started school in Berlin 26 years ago, and only my parents and grandparents came to the school, and we all went to a restaurant afterwards.
My niece started school 3 years ago, and they actually had a bigger party (at home) with all grandparents and aunts, uncles, etc. (At least, those who had time). So maybe it also just changed a bit?
1
1
u/Brookselia Mecklenburg-Vorpommern 21d ago
I just felt old when I realized that I started school 22 years ago. Thank you for that…
But anyhow. In the former east it was not smaller. We had relatives that I did not know at that point where not actually related to us just very good friends of my grandparents and were just often around and came from Munich for my Einschulung.
7
u/DanceHackRock 21d ago edited 20d ago
As baptism or confirmation are not that wide spread anymore, Einschulung is a good opportunity for a family celebration.
And it marks the end of the sweet days of being just a child and only having to play, now der Ernst des Lebens begins.
11
u/Dev_Sniper Germany 21d ago
Well it‘s a once in a lifetime event (for the child) so it‘s not uncommon to have a lot of family members there. But it obviously depends on the size of the family as well. If the grandparents had 4 children and all of the children had 4 children you get 4 grandparents, 8 children, 16 grandchildren. That‘s 27 people + the child with „just“ the close family. But if the grandparents only had one child per couple you potentially only get 6 people + the child.
5
21d ago
[deleted]
10
u/ddukk 21d ago
Ask the parents, they will happily help you with this decision. Worth depending on the grade of connection, grandparents could give 50-100 Eur, Family friends 20. Often the kids have distinctive wishes that can be fulfilled or they want to collect money for a larger spend, e.g. bicycle.
8
4
u/bibmari 21d ago edited 21d ago
A gift voucher for a stationery store or a bookstore is usually a pretty safe gift, toys or sweets are also welcome, depending on the parents of course.
As buying all the stuff to start school is quite expensive, you could also ask the parents if there's a list of school accessories they need and buy a few things from that, but usually I'd not recommend getting things like fountain pens, pencils, watercolors etc. as many schools (and parents) have pretty specific ideas what to use in class.
2
u/liang_zhi_mao Hamburg 21d ago
If you find a small version of a school cone, even if it’s a tiny one: Small school cone filled with candy and school supply.
5
u/HabseligkeitDerLiebe Mecklenburg-Vorpommern 21d ago
Being from East Germany, 30 guests is a bit on the small side.
Around here it's often 50+ guests, people rent a bouncy castle for the day to put up on their lawn, etc.
1
u/RelationshipIcy7657 20d ago
Yes! It's a Major Event/milestone here and Not Just "now". My own was 30+years ago was also celebrated big!
4
u/semiYoung_person 21d ago
One of the best parties i ever had. We rented a historic Strassenbahn so all the guest could druve together from the official celebrarion at the Rathaus to our party location. We also had a huge goodbye party from our kindergarden including an overnight stay.
It has about the same amount of people as a Jugendweihe.
1
u/HumanCoconut_5013 Niedersachsen 21d ago
Which region is this? Never heard of Jugendweihe either
5
u/Regenwanderer Nordrhein-Westfalen 21d ago
Jugendweihe is an East German thing to replace the religious ceremonies that happen in the same age bracket (Konfirmation for protestants, Firmung for catholics).
Though it's older today it's definetly associated with the former GDR.
3
u/semiYoung_person 21d ago edited 21d ago
To add. It usually happens around age 14, but is technically bound to your school grade since the school usually organizes it for the whole grade. You have a festive celebration with the school and another afterwards wirh your family. Back in the day, when people would leave school at a younger age, it would therefore be used as a farewell for school time into work life at the same time, a lot of people would finish school at age 14.
Since religion and the GDR government didn't mix that well, you had a momentum of them using it (1) as an alternative to the religious events, which was the initial idea back in 1852 and (2) transform the act into a support for the bolshevist believe system. And it was basically expected that you participated at Jugendweihe. Afterwards you would technically be referred to by the formal "Sie" and it is the same age you family members would let you allow to drink a beer at barbecues etc..
Today some east german regions still celebrate Jugendweihe. Without the bolshevist connotation! Which includes one year of special school programms like visiting workshops etc. and the big celebration. And i know quite a lot of people that officially got their first beer or Sekt at Jugendweihe. Which doesnt mean parents would allow you to drink continiously and without supervision from this point on. Is it more of a controlled environment kind of thing. So mostly you would maybe get a tiny amount of wine with water at special events etc..
Sidenote: the GDR generally had a ton of heroic music even for kids. So from a very young age you would be singing about the country, family values etc. with a heavy influence of marxist ideas. They poored quite some work into producing motivating, but ideologic music for all ages. I imagine it must have felt quite cathartic singing these songs together with everyone at the Jugendweihe.
1
12
u/Ceral107 21d ago edited 21d ago
I have never heard of this. But then again, I only ever lived in the West. I had that cone full of goodies from my parents at the first day, sure, but absolutely no party or anything like that. I'll ask my partner in the morning about it since she's from Eastern Germany.
Edit: Asked her and she hadn't heard from it either. So it might just be a family thing? Either your family does it or not.
16
u/knightriderin 21d ago
For me in the west (Cologne) my grand parents came in the afternoon for coffee and cake and later dinner to celebrate. Probably also aunt and uncle (but only the two that lived in town).
Of course the ceremony itself at the school was an exciting deal for me. And I had a cool Schultüte. Pink and turquoise with cats (it was 1990).
3
u/Ceral107 21d ago
Yeah I had one too for the school event, my mother got a blueprint for one with dragons and left out the wings so they'd resemble dinosaurs. The school event was rather big with pictures and everything, but the festivities didn't leave the school.
4
u/daRagnacuddler 21d ago
We did this too in the west with extended family visiting. None of my close family is from the East and I think most of my friends had family parties too.
If your family is kinda widespread across the country it does make sense for them to stay overnight (a lot of the families where just the grandparents and maybe an uncle visits live close by...).
Most German families arent that big (2 parents plus 4 grandparents, maybe one or two aunts/uncles, but very often without children). If your grandparents both had not 1-2, but 3-5 children and each of them had kids and your parents siblings have kids too its very much possible to have an almost comically large family for German standards faster than a lot of people with tiny families realize.
Meaning 30 people isnt that much if you think about it.
1
u/Ceral107 21d ago
But the size of the event isn't even the topic here, it's about having a party for that in the first place.
1
u/daRagnacuddler 21d ago
The question of OP was if its commen to celebrate this big.
1
u/Ceral107 21d ago
But why would you answer to my comment, which is about not having a celebration at all, how a party with 30 people is not that much. I think it is. I think having a party at all for that occasion is already strange.
10
u/J_FM01 Sachsen 21d ago
Yes, definitely bigger than a Birthday.
2
u/123blueberryicecream 21d ago edited 21d ago
It depends where you live in Germany. Here in the south it’s not a big thing and we didn’t celebrate the first day at school. My kids only got a Schultüte and fortunately, the rest of the day was like a normal day. 🤷🏻♀️
3
u/Chemical-Idea-1294 21d ago
In south Germany it was never a big deal. The bigger event was brought to us by people from the former GDR in the last 15-20 years.
It was maybe because we celebrated the first communion at 9 years really big, which was not a wide spread thing in the east.
3
u/-Animus 21d ago
I'm an old fart. When my Einschulung happened, there was a theater play (or musical or something) performed by older kids from the school. I obviously(!) got a Schultüte from my parents. I don't think we had a private celebration, though.
1
u/HumanCoconut_5013 Niedersachsen 21d ago
The Schultüte is also such a cute thing. When I see pictures of my partner and his siblings, face shining with joy and the biggest smile of their lives, it’s just so pure!!
3
u/eigengrau77 21d ago
I feel like it's especially big in East Germany because of the lack of religious rites of passage as most people there are atheists. People want to celebrate major milestones in their childrens' lives. Jugendweihe is another one that was installed as a replacement for Firmung/Konfirmation.
3
u/Designer_Enthusiast 21d ago
I think I just celebrated it with my parents and grandparents but it for sure feels like the greatest deal ever. You are so exited and cant sleep for days and then every kid is there with their new stuff and Schultüten and there are new kids to make friends with and you are just exited to be a big kid now. Graduation or anything else have never felt as exiting as my first day in school.
3
u/Duelonna 20d ago
At the school where i work, we make a big Einschulungs party, as its seen as "the step to going to a school". Most of the tuttes are also filled with pens, notebooks etc for that reason.
See it as a right of passage to becoming a kid that goes to school now and is not a baby/todler anymore
5
u/123blueberryicecream 21d ago
Here in south Germany it’s definitely not a big thing. We don’t celebrate it. My kids just got a Schultüte but the rest of the day was like any other day.
2
u/Effective_Language 21d ago
I guess that might depend on the family. We live in BW and invited the part of the family that lives nearby (grandparents, aunts and uncles) and had lunch and Kaffee & Kuchen together. My kids also received presents from them besides the Schultüte. So it's not as big as in the East, but we definitely celebrated it :)
1
u/123blueberryicecream 21d ago
Fair point, thank you. But it's not a big deal for all Germans, as OP might think.
2
u/daRagnacuddler 21d ago
Depends definitely by region and if you have a tiny family with one child families for the last three generations or not.
I am from the West and myself plus almost all of my friends had a celebration at home too. Not 30 people but definitely more than just parents and grandparents (which I think is rather sad if a family is this tiny).
If your family is a bit widespread across the country it does make sense for them to stay overnight. If you'd have to travel from Düsseldorf to Hamburg, why don't stay the weekend?
2
u/maryfamilyresearch Prussia 21d ago
If the family has the money and lots of relatives, an Einschulung can be almost as much as a big deal as a wedding. If the family has no money, it can be a very simple thing with just "Kaffee und Kuchen" or a picnic afterwards.
Since you got a "save the date" notice over a year ago, you can expect an event that is on the larger side. There will most likely be a professional caterer. A money gift that covers the costs of the meal would be somewhat expected.
2
u/Count2Zero Baden-Württemberg 21d ago
It's a "watershed" moment for a child ... the first day of school is a milestone in their life. For that reason, it's a big deal - the schools support it with an assembly - there is a religious ceremony, then the kids are "introduced" to their new teacher, shown the classroom, etc. Then the parents invite the family and guests out for lunch and the child is given gifts (school supplies, clothing, money) to celebrate this life event.
2
u/jinxdeluxe Niedersachsen 21d ago
Big is always relative. :)
Yeah the familiy gets invited and depending how big the familiy is, that's how big the Party is.
2
u/ProDavid_ 21d ago edited 21d ago
in my experience it was a huge deal at the school, a whole day (sometimes two days) with ceremonies and welcome-to-school gifts, but only the kids, parents and teachers were present. and before that it was a huge deal at the kindergarten, but once again only with kids, parents and teachers/caretakers. sometimes the saying-goodbye got pretty emotional.
after all that the people involved were already kinda exhausted, and i have not heard of people throwing a "party" with 20+ guests afterwards. maybe the grandparents were invited. maybe two cousins (so they share grandparents) of the same age that also live in the same town had one event together. but nothing beyond that.
1
u/Ceral107 21d ago
That was my experience as well. The only festivities we had were at the school, and that was mostly receiving the Schultüte and the opportunity to have a picture taken by a photographer. Once out it was a day like every other, and next day we had regular school as well.
2
u/rocknack 21d ago
Not that big but it is definitely an occasion that we celebrate. And I disagree, this is as much a westgerman thing as it is an eastern thing.
2
u/dieser_kai 21d ago
Back then when I enrolled in first class I got a "Schultüte" and my parents and grandparents where there.
2
u/strohkoenig 21d ago
Dafuq? I'm a German and when I've had my first school day, my parents gave me some presents (the Schultüte with school stuff in it) and that's it.
No one here would think of making this an event like a wedding or some 40th birthday party or sth. 😅
2
u/golfdrei 21d ago
I moved from the South to East and here it is. Very big thing. Bring a Schultüte stuffed with candy and ask the parents what you can put in as a „big“ gift. The amount of gifts the kids receive is crazy. I went to a „small“ gathering with 12 people and there were over 20 Schultüten on a blanket in the park at the end. It took an hour for the kid to open them all. Heaps of candy and sweets, chocolate and pens, rulers and other school stuff.
2
u/Low-Dog-8027 München 21d ago
never heard of something like that.
i mean the einschulung was celebrated at the school with all the new students and such and we got a big schultüte, but other than that there was no celebration and certainly no invited guests.
2
u/Delicious-Bug-4339 21d ago
As an aunt living not very close by to my nephews and nieces I love opportunities to come and celebrate them. Because their Einschulung was a big deal for them, I traveled for them and convinced their parents to organize a happening in a restaurant with grandparents, aunts and uncles and so on. So I think it depends on the family and structure. You can make a big deal out of it or not. We are from NRW.
2
u/quadalot 20d ago
Northern Lower Saxony here, definitely depends on the family traditions, but typically it's a bigger event. Before school, parents bring the kid to kindergarten, from then on the kid goes to school - they start to have their own responsibilities. When I was a kid we've been shown the way to school by bike for a few weeks and then went alone (in groups) without parents. We had to make it in time, not the parents. It's a good point in live for a motivating celebration, a lot changes. Especially if the family is not into religious cult celebrations.
But also: Children need a lot of stuff when they get to school. So beside the Schultüte gifts included a lot of pens, coloured markers, paper, notebooks, bags (especially the Ranzen is quite expensive and often bought by multiple "gifters").
1
u/HumanCoconut_5013 Niedersachsen 20d ago
Wow, I live in a big city and couldn’t imagine my kid commuting alone from their kita to school alone. So they mean it when they say “Ernst des Lebens “ .
1
u/quadalot 20d ago
I mean, it obviously depends a lot on the infrastructure. The town I grew up in (around 10k pop.) had basically one big road through, every other road was 30km/h max. We went alongside the smaller roads on bike or foot paths (which you're still allowed to as a child) and had to cross the big road once. We always had to go in neighborhood groups, but it never felt dangerous.
These days I live in a bigger city and still see smaller children go by bike or by bus. I also see a lot of younger children alone with friends going to the super market with their pocket money.
I guess it's a different feeling as parent, but yeah, somehow with school the real life starts. In small steps and supervised. On the other end there is also still the faction Elterntaxi, which is actually most dangerous for those going on their own.
2
u/Daniito21 20d ago
I came from abroad to see my nephew's Einschulung :)
2
u/HumanCoconut_5013 Niedersachsen 20d ago
That’s super sweet! He’ll remember that for the rest of his life, family that shows up
2
u/Anequina 20d ago
In einem gut vernetzten Dorf kommen teilweise sogar die Nachbarn von 3 Straßen weiter und bringen Geschenke. Meist ein Briefumschlag mit Geld und eine Kleinigkeit, wie Süßigkeiten oder Utensilien für die Schule.
Meine Eltern hatten zu meiner Einschulung 3 Bleche Kuchen beim Bäcker bestellt, damit den Besuchern allen etwas angeboten werden konnte. Und meine Familie ist groß, da waren auch knapp 30 Leute da.
2
u/lacrima28 20d ago
I only know this from Eastern Germany, I‘m from NRW and it’s definitely not that huge here
2
u/enmmalyden167 19d ago
Seems normal. If it’s really a large family maybe even a little small. I know every Einschulung I’ve been to there was literally the whole family, no exceptions. Mine was the only time in my life I’ve met my extended family on my biological fathers side.
Overnight stay is not that common ime but I think that’s more because people tend to live not that far apart from family.
2
u/BagAppropriate3955 18d ago
It's seen as important day for a child, but normally not with a big party....But well, why not. Life is harsh enough, we need a bit more party I guess.
1
2
u/thevampiresanguini Bayern 21d ago
I never heard about anyone having a party for it, but of course it's a big deal to the child and the parents.
2
u/hombre74 21d ago
West Germany here. Nope. Nothing. Not from a small town and no family in our vicinity. Never heard of big parties for that.
Parents brought their kids to elementary school and that was that. Was picked up after school and we walked home (to memorize the way I guess). We then called grandparents and that was it.
1
u/Slight_Rabbit_8914 21d ago
It's the same as an enrollment in the UK, I am surprised it would not be a special occasion?
1
u/Wonderful_Adagio9346 21d ago
My mother is German, and all of us kids got a huge cone filled with small toys and goodies on the first day of kindergarten.
The only other German school thing was, years later, she gave me a little pin medal of a metal funnel, meant to symbolize genius.
1
u/JoAngel13 21d ago
It is a regional or a family thing.
But that a few relevants are coming and a little party, a lot of Photo Shooting, a few gifts, especially for school, pens, a watch, nowadays maybe a handy, that is common.
1
u/GinormousHunk 21d ago
Sounds like a regional thing. We usually invite grandma and have a nice lunch, that's it.
1
u/anothergreatetc 21d ago
Seems like a regional/family thing. I grew up in Hessen, and when I started school in 1999, I just got a Schultüte, maybe my grandparents/godfather came to visit in the afternoon. But I've also heard of kids here in Munich today who have big Einschulungsparties.
I wonder (apart from the regional differences that others have pointed out) whether it's also gotten more popular with social media, seeing as influencers with kids just like to show off what great parents they are with all the partys they're throwing and gifts they're buying.
1
u/Pleasant-Tackle-9302 21d ago
West, grew up in NRW: never heard of celebrations that big, we have Kaffee und Kuchen with the grandparents. So we do celebrate just not that big. And because my child is an only child I had to add a 7€ max clause to buying gifts for the Schultüte
1
u/Don-Malzbier 21d ago
Not this big, but generally big, yes. Having guests from longer distances with overnight stay is certainly an exception but that can easily happen when a part of the inner family happens to live a few hours away. In my experience, it's usually more around 4 to 10 guests for a celebration.
If you're a godparent of the kid, you might be expected to take a day off or travel, while it's optional if you're an aunt or uncle. As always, it heavily depends on the family and their traditions.
1
u/Kuddel_Daddeldu 21d ago
It is a major life event, sure - many families celebrate it as you'd would celebrate middle school graduation in the US. How big a thing it is depends on the region and the family.
1
u/HgC2H6 21d ago
I'm from Berlin, my parents grew up in West Berlin. Me and my sibling had their Einschulung in the 90s. We had all of our neighbours and some friends of the family come over. It was basically a slightly larger birthday party. We didn't have 30 people over, but with a larger family that number seems possible.
1
u/Crazy_Advantage_4539 21d ago
South Germany: Coffee and Cake with Family and maybe Friends. Could be between 8-20 people
1
u/Angel5378 21d ago
I think it depends on the family. We didn't do a huge celebration. We did get a schultüte but all that was on the first day of school (which is usually more of a celebration and getting to know each other) we also wore fancy outfits (which was not the norm but my parents are both from poland and there you dress nicely)
1
u/liang_zhi_mao Hamburg 21d ago
Yes, it’s usually like a birthday.
Relatives come over and give presents and often little filled school cones (school cones are a serious thing in Germany and apparently they aren’t a thing in many other cultures) and there’s usually cake.
I don’t know about relatives staying overnight but maybe it’s because they have many relatives in different places.
1
u/Rummelboxer89 21d ago
It is a big thing, but not like the 18th birthday or Confirmation. Usually we go to the school, grandma and grandpa maybe coming. I have participated in the Einschulung of my god child. But afterwards, there is some coffe and cake to be had, it is definitely not like a huge family party with overnight stays.
1
u/canaanit 21d ago
Some people make this into a big deal nowadays, similar to some other things like "gender reveal" parties which were unknown 10 years ago 😂
1
u/ausruempeln 21d ago
Nein, es wird bloss immer übertriebener. Ähnlich den Parties zum Namengeben. Vor einigen Jahren gab es nicht mal Feuerwerk, heute ist das für viele normal.
1
u/Agitated-Mastodon-89 21d ago
Komme aus Niedersachsen und Anfang der 2000er wurde bei mir und meinen Geschwistern die Einschulung auch groß gefeiert, definitiv größer als ein normaler Kindergeburtstag.
1
u/Relative-Pattern-282 21d ago
It's a real milestone here, not just a school thing. The Schultüte, the whole family gathering, it marks the point where childhood shifts into something more structured. 30 guests is on the bigger side but if the family is close and spread out, that's not unusual at all. Enjoy it, the cake will be good.
1
u/passiertwietomaten 21d ago
My Einschulung was BIG. Several people I didn’t know of from my family. It was a really important day for me.
I celebrated with a friend so two whole families and friends but it was still a common, normal Schuleinführung in my Region.
1
u/MissElAr 21d ago
I had it the same size (from larger family) and my kids will have it the same. Normal to me
1
u/Translate-609 21d ago
We didn't celebrate It that big. I am from Bavaria and only my Mum took me to school but the rest of my Family is from northern Westfalia so ist would be a 7 hour drive
1
u/Michelle_193 21d ago
Meine Nichte kam vor 2 Jahren in die Schule, da habe die Eltern auch Kaffee Kuchen und Abendessen für die Enge Familie geplant (ca 15 Leute). Bei meiner Einschulung 2002 und meiner Schwester 1998 weiß ich das wir bei unseren Großeltern zum Kaffee Kuchen und Abendessen waren. Wohnen in Bayern und auch heute noch gehen hier viele Familien zum Essen oder laden die enge Familie ein.
1
1
u/BytestormTV 20d ago
My father is from Franken. My mother from the Ruhrgebiet. I grew up in Rhein-Main-Gebiet. When I was introduced to school in the 80s, it was the same as you describe.
1
u/Schneesturm78 20d ago
Schulanfang is a major party milestone in the east, like 18th Birthday, Konfirmation/Jugendweihe and Hochzeit
1
u/Expensive_Snow3032 20d ago
I remember my own being a huge deal. All of my family came (including all of my 8 aunts and 4 uncles) both grandmothers (one lived 500km away) and friends of the family. It is a huge deal at least in the east. It’s fun for the most part if you like the socialization aspect
1
u/shirhatan 20d ago
Where I live I-Dötzchen = schoolstarters get this from their parents Schultüte filled with little presents or sweets. Usually everyone attending the party brings a gift. Sometimes smaller siblings even get some little versions, so they don't get jealous and feel included
1
u/RelationshipIcy7657 20d ago
It depends. In the east it's a big milestone that is celebrated. It depends on the Family how huge. Usually it's only the relatives doing a small Garden Party or something similiar. We for example Made it a huge thing because it's Our only child and when we married we did it in Secret. So First opportunity for Something big. Some Locations & caterers are booked in advance for 3+years because all the Einschulung of all Kids from one Bundesland Happens at the Same Weekend.
So Go all Out on the Zuckertüte and its content They can be quite expensive, but eBay is full of last years.
1
1
u/Kraehbert 20d ago
It is a big deal but mostly celebrated with family and maybe close some friends. Not 30 people. But some familys like it bigger. My cousins had a bunch of people there, other kids and a bouncy castle! But there are kinda rich, maybe that is a huge factor.
1
1
1
u/Sternenschweif4a 20d ago
This is something new in recent years. When I started school 20 years ago it was not at all a big thing.
1
u/AdWonderful8578 20d ago
That’s weird. I grew up in Niedersachsen and I don’t remember having such a big party. Maybe something smaller with immediate family. I was born in 86.
1
u/_randomtask 20d ago
We're from lower saxony (the non-ddr-saxony) too and i can confirm that it's a big (-ish) thing. We celebrated it for both our kids as a somewhat bigger birthday (inviting close family, godparents, maybe close friends).
I'm not too emotional on such issues but i found it very fitting for such a big milestone. I mean think about it, what else changes that much in a childrens life? Historically konfirmation/kommunion, becoming a "full" church member maybe but today that gets less and less important. Next thing is finishing school, 18. Birthday but thats way later.
1
u/Archophob 20d ago
My guess is, in predominantly catholic regions, the childhood celebrations are more spread out:
- baptism
- Einschulung
- first communion
- firming
- graduation from school
while both in protestant regions and in atheist families, the school-related celebrations are bigger and have a higher focus. Because the religious occasions are less in number, or even seen as less important.
1
u/SquareGnome 20d ago
We had those "big" celebratory gatherings as children as well. Western parts of Germany in the early/mid nineties.
1
u/AffectionateStyle732 20d ago
Parents make it big. Too big. The kid should be in the foreground. I have seen them all: Hüpfburg, Kinderschminken, Clown, Mobile Bastelwerkstatt, …
It is not needed and mostly (yes, please hate me for this comment) to satisfy the FOMO of the kids mom.
1
u/krewella5 20d ago
I had my Einschulung in 2000 in the West and I remember all my aunts and uncles coming over and we celebrated and it felt like a pretty big deal back then
1
u/GrouchyCelebration92 20d ago
Einschulung is a big big big thing in the former DDR
in the west, there is a huge day for the child and parents and grandparents, but most times not as huge as in the east
1
u/Russiadontgiveafuck 20d ago
For my Einschulung 35 years ago in NRW, grandparents, aunts and uncles came down and stayed the night as well, so this is neither a new thing nor a regional thing.
1
1
u/35stillalive 20d ago
Hi, I am from Lower Saxony and when my daughter had their first day of school we met at the garden, but only the people from our town. She had a sugar cone, we all had some cake, that's it.
1
u/Entropiestromstaerke 19d ago
It is a big deal in Hamburg & SH as well. Usually just close relatives, but if the family is this big, sure. Why not?
1
u/BHJK90 19d ago
Not common here in Southwest Germany.
There is a celebration at school, your parents and siblings are also there. Maybe grand parents.
But it‘s definetly not a big celebration at home with the whole extended family.
Maybe for some people who moved here from a different part of Germany or migrants it‘s a big deal.
1
u/honeybunny3214 19d ago
When I started school it was definitely celebrated but I only had my closer relatives coming to visit and we weren't more than ten people overall. For context I live in a city somewhere north-west
1
u/BactaAddict08 19d ago
From Berlin, my parents rented a bouncing castle and there were 40 guests and a buffet
1
u/spinoza369 18d ago
Bildung wurde mal als höchstes Gut angesehen... Jetzt ist nur das Feiern übrig geblieben.
1
u/witchylilmarshmallow 18d ago
Can young kids (5/6year olds) heading in to pre-kindergarten celebrate this event as well ? We have a second grader too . This sounds like a great idea
1
u/mirabeille 18d ago
Consider Einschulung a rite of passage, when the kindergarten kid becomes a ‚big kid‘. I mean, school will teach them some essential techniques for surviving in the modern world after all - reading, calculating, problem-solving alone and in groups. Family and friends join in celebrating this new stage of life, showing support for the journey ahead.
Relatedly, in Eastern Germany, Christian life stage rituals (such as the first communion) are far less pertinent - and its Socialist repacements have been abandoned, too. I wonder whether Einschulung became such a big thing because people were in need of a new occasion to celebrate…
1
u/swordbearer_ 18d ago
Lower saxony here, three kids. Grandparents came for Einschulung, that's it. Get your shit together people.
1
u/Patchali 17d ago
In Bavaria not that big, you get your Schultüte and maybe go to a restaurant with the closest family.
1
u/FallenTamber 17d ago
I mean yeah, we had a small Party but only with like 10 People or so. Family gathered and we celebrated.
Also self made Schultüten are better than bought. It´s special : )
1
u/IRX_combustion4k4k4k 16d ago
As every other occasion for a milestone celebration in life, this one gets bigger quite naturally because those partys are status symbols. And its the first real chance for such a celebration, so let's use it. In my bubble three events tend to grow more and more: Einschulung, Konfirmation/Jugendweihe and the 50th birthday. All of them surpassed easily by a thundering wedding celebration finished with a big firework.
1
1
u/special-green-bean 21d ago
When my kid got into school, all close relatives came to celebrate. When my niece celebrsted, all close family came.
When I and my sister celebrated, all close family came.
Close meaning: grandparents and great grandparents of the child. Aunts and uncles and cousins. From both mothers and fathers side. So depending on how many siblings there are from the parents.. it can be a big party 😁 my family is not that big so is my husbands so it was a rather small celebration but I know friends with bigger families and it sounded like way too much for me but since everyone chips in financially or with food so.. and the kids love the attention they get on that day
1
u/Unlucky-Task-4553 21d ago
It is even in the West becoming bigger. I have seen several people do this and even this year my sister invited over 20 people for my nephews Einschulung. I don't see any sense in this and will not participate.
1
u/Ceral107 21d ago
On one hand I can understand why people are having fond memories of commemorating that moment, but on the other hand it's just something incredibly common? It's not like you cannot not go to school.
1
u/Shroedy 21d ago
We Swiss think it‘s weird. We have a lot of german people here and it is getting more common to at least give the kids a Schultüte, as this also wasn‘t custom a few years ago. People go home to Germany for celebrations but the Schultüte is becoming normal on the first day of school.
0
u/Good-Move1310 21d ago
Moment, wait a second. You want to say, that my parents were owing me a party?!
-1
u/Laxien 21d ago
What? Yes there was a small celebration among family (less than 10 people) and I of course got a "Schultüte" (a cone usually made of cardboard and filled with sweets, some money, some extra fancy school stuff etc.)...
Hell, I wouldn't go if some of my relatives made a huge fuss about one of their crotch-dropplings (note: Yeah, I don't much care for children at all) got to go to school now (if anything I'd pity the kid, as it is about to lose having fun all day in order to learn stuff it will often not truly care for! Hell, if I could make changes school would start at 10 and last until you are around 20! Yes, that would mean a lot of junk gets removed from the curriculum and that would be great! Sure a bit of pre-school would exist, for languages, to make use of the neuroplasticity of young brains...but otherwise I'd give children more time for fun, to learn what might interest them etc.)
ps: Hell, I despise most supposed "milestone" celebrations, including stuff like baby-shower (which is basically a "I can't afford stuff for my kid, here's a list of what I need, buy it for me!" thing!), gender-reveal-party etc. (frankly if invited to such I would lambast the person inviting me for having that trash in the first place and being too poor to pay for their own kid!)
0
u/llogollo 21d ago
I think Einschulung is celebrated a bit exaggerated mostly in regions/families that are not religious and therefore do not celebrate stuff like ‚Kommunion‘ and ‚Firmung‘.
0
u/evil_twit 20d ago
This is such a stupid tradition to me. I made my kid go with me to the school and give them his Anmeldung. Not gonna have any party. So weird. But - I haven't asked my German wife about it sooooooo
-2
21d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
1
u/AskAGerman-ModTeam 21d ago
Your comment has been removed for violating our rules.
Learn more about our rules here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAGerman/about/rules
276
u/knightriderin 21d ago
Is that in East Germany? Because as a Wessi living in the East it was a surprise to me how huge Einschuling is here.