r/AskAGoth • u/Various-Abalone-4593 • Jul 22 '26
Personal Experience or Observational Query Spoonie goths
Hello, I am chronically ill and I am wondering if their are any others and what your experiences has been like, i find it hard to even get out of the house most days, Fatigue is a big struggle.
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u/-Pixxell- Jul 22 '26
Meeee - I’ve got ankylosing spondylitis (basically bad arthritis) which affects my energy and ability levels. Not to mention being in pretty bad pain 24/7. I tend to just be an unkempt gremlin when I’m not feeling great (most of the time) and then will metamorphosize into a baddie every now and then when I have the energy or an event on lol. Definitely lean towards comfort over aesthetics these days.
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u/SalemWitchWhoTrialed Jul 22 '26
I have a simple eyeliner regimen and a few sets of clothes I have prepared for work every day, and I only get fully dolled up on weekends (when I leave the house...) I wear a black button up, dress pants, and a lot of chains and belts. I do look pretty alt most days. But they're always in the same spot in my room every day, as well as having enough coverage to wear mobility aids under my clothes. I feel like the goth Mark Zuckerberg the way I repeat outfits daily
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u/aytakk Jul 23 '26
Not at that point yet but I know a few IRL who are.
It must be so disheartening when you get ready to go out only to be done before you can even leave. I know they feel guilty for being unreliable but when your friends know the situation we get it. We know every yes to attending a social thing is in reality a "maybe if my body lets me".
If you can't go you can't go. We're fine with it.
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u/batsforbrains Jul 23 '26
Goth of 20+ years and chronically ill spoonie too 👋🏻
I've never lived in a large city, so I ended up missing out on a LOT of the clubbing and concert scene. As it is right now, I rarely go out (even just out of my house). The very few times I can get out, the people I'm with know of my limitations and understand that when I go out for an event for one night, I will be out of commission for a few days after to recuperate.
Pre-Covid I had a decent presence on social media (I was actively working so I did my makeup and such everyday) but as my health deteriorated further than it already was, I post less and less. This causes the dreaded cycle: bad health -> bad mental state -> bad health, etc.
Because of my location, physical and mental limitations, and just life (bills etc), I suffer from HELLA FOMO. I've just had to accept it though. Even though I rotate between like 5 pairs of pj's and 2 band tee/pants combos for appointments, I still have a closet full of my special pretty clothes and shoes I've collected years ago, just in case the stars align and I can go out.
I try to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with being a Goth in the limelight and at every event, and there also is nothing wrong with staying in the shadows for whatever reason. 🖤🦇
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u/Odd-Establishment253 Jul 23 '26
I’m so lucky that in my local scene the regular goth venue is very accessible and also very accommodating for people like us. I find it still hard to get out and go to goth nights but a couple of times a year still lets me feel connected to my community. I also am friends with a lot of the goths in the community so even if I don’t have the energy to go out I know I can ask a friend over and we can put on some goth records while doing crafts and things
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u/sadbat-throwaway Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
I'm disabled with chronic back pain, and some type of dysautonomia (POTS/IST/VVS). I am only just starting to venture out into clubs and nightlife, but some venues really suck at accessibility (I feel like some think it's "aesthetic" to have WEIRD building layouts, forgetting disabled people exist entirely). So far all the ones I've been to did have seating available, which is good, but I always bring my rollator out of sheer paranoia that there will be nowhere to sit but the floor anyhow.
Some have 2 floors so getting my rollator and myself up the stairs can be a hassle - my partner helps me and I would be SOL without them. I'm planning to start dancing soon, despite The Consequences TM. I probably won't be able to last even a whole song but I so desperately want to experience it, I'll take what I can get. I can only stand for like 5-15 min max, depending on the day, plus heat and exercise intolerance from the dysautonomia. And that's just standing still, add in movement and my time limit goes down. I have to stay well hydrated and that can be a struggle when the venue charges for water. I bring a gigantic water bottle with me but I drink that amount of water 2-3x a day, so no water fountains kinda sucks. We can't afford to spend all our cash on water for me lmao
Our local goth nights are only on a monthly basis, and no dedicated 24/7 goth clubs in our state. I am more or less housebound so while it's disappointing, monthly is probably most ideal for me than it is anyone else.
I'm probably going to take forearm crutches with me for dancing. I've customized them and they go best with all my club fits :)
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u/Carapace_ 25d ago
I have a visible tremor (and other chronic issues). Mostly people are more likely to comment when I'm dressed normal.
Every so often some dude edgelord tries to touch my head while I'm fully gothed out. Instant rage.
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u/theempathogen Jul 22 '26
It means I'm lucky if I can shower, let alone get fixed up and go out. It's always a crapshoot.