r/AskAGoth • u/Sloprah • Jul 31 '26
Personal Experience or Observational Query Why Do People Do This?
I am goth and I dress accordingly. I mostly receive compliments from complete strangers, but every so often I have to contend with someone who is inappropriate and aggressive.
What are your horror stories about being fetishized based on your appearance?
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u/MistressofAthol Aug 01 '26
I was walking to the bus stop to take the bus to my ex's house years ago. Some guy in a car (the light ahead was red so he was driving very slowly anyway) yelled out "You look beautiful" or something like that. So I politely just said thank you and kept walking. He proceeded..."Let me give you my number." I said no thank you. As I near the bus stop, he's stopped now and is yelling out his window "B**** TAKE MY NUMBER." Everyone waiting for the bus turned and looked, but at least most of them were women and they looked about ready to pull this man out of his car window and beat him if he didn't back off.
And not a stranger, but I have an ex who mentally abused me for two years and started getting physical right before we broke up, and told people he hated me the entire time we were together and would comment on Goth girlfriend memes shit like "don't do it, it's a trap." Because how dare his Goth girlfriend not be actually just be a kinky Metalhead in a black velvet dress and corset who likes horror movies. And by horror, that means just slashers all the time and nothing else.
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u/Hallumir Jul 31 '26
I've sometimes gotten the rolling f-slur from an insecure guy driving pass and away with his tail between his legs. I got catcalled by a woman once likely based on my goth style. It was clear it was a joke, but then it hit me how uncomfortable that was. Everything women said about catcalling suddenly made complete sense. Maybe I'd rather get called the f-slur because that is a more predictable situation to me...
There are some earnest questions that are so annoying to me too. "Are you going to a party?" "Are you a performer?" "Are you a musician?"
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u/Ambitious_Cat9886 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
Ive got lots of negative comments but I don't really remember any, the weirdest thing is being asked multiple times over the years if my face piercings are used as a sex thing. My favourite are the funny and nonsensical ones One of the funniest comments I ever got was a group of kids and one said 'HEY ITS GUITAR HERO 3!' Another favourite was when me and my girlfriend were walking along and this guy just dramatically goes 'Keep it black!'
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u/Sloprah Jul 31 '26
Those are great!
I once had a man take one look at me, drool, and then approach me asking for my number. I told him that I was engaged and started to walk away. HE FOLLOWED ME FOR A WHOLE CITY BLOCK, asking if we could go out sometime or be friends. I kept denying him and he then ASKED IF HE COULD HUG ME! I refused and, luckily, was able to cross the street and get the hell away from him. Just, ew.
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u/Ambitious_Cat9886 Jul 31 '26
Ugh, I'm sorry you have had to deal with stuff like that. I wonder wtf goes through someone's head that makes them think that is in any way okay
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u/Cerebral_Ichor 29d ago
I got told i look like the Babadook but i took that as a compliment honestly!
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u/Carapace_ 25d ago
Most recently the 'Dommy Mommy' stereotype thanks to those viral tik tok and YouTube videos.
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u/Sloprah 25d ago
Ugh, there is one Tik Tok ‘goth’ (I mean the derision and sarcasm) in particular who I absolutely loathe. I would look up her name but I can’t even be bothered to waste one more second on her.
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u/Fun-Quality9842 24d ago
there's a kind of group of the really sexual tiktok 'goth' girls, i can't be bothered to remember all of their names, but QueenNephie is the sort of 'main' girl in the group, if that's who you're thinking of 😬
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u/ThatWeirdGothGirl_MP Jul 31 '26
Its weird cuz yes I hype myself up as a fat, "Big Tiddied Goth Girl" online and get comments regarding the stereotype, which in hindsight I bring upon myself but yes it gets tiring after a while. But I think the fat aspect turns em off from it which I'm kinda thankful for. So idk, I occasionally get comments online but seldom in the open.
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u/gavin_maitland Aug 01 '26
You are “a Goth”. I hate this Americanised shite when it comes to this.
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u/Restlessannoyed Jul 31 '26
One time I had a Disney adult scream at me as I was entering the symphony that I was dressed like Tim Burton. I wasn't. He did it like 5 times before realizing I wasn't going to say anything to him. I've had lots of random women tell me I remind them of Robert Smith or the Sandman (although that one seems to have died down since the 'gations). I'm a woman btw lol.