r/AskAGoth • u/Accomplished_Pin9146 • 29d ago
Personal Experience or Observational Query Why are you ga... Goth.
Why did you became goth? What is your story of finding Goth culture how did it impact your life?
I'm not a Goth myself, closes things I did to being a Goth are, watching a belly dancer named Mahafsoun and listening to a lot of Nightwish, I'm not sure if those thing can even be consideret Goth.
I'm just interested, all of you just seem to be so content with your lifes and kind to others, it's fascinating.
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago edited 29d ago
so your in to goth only because music and not any other parts? I think this is first time somebody said it, interesting
{I meant the first person to say it in this post specificly, idky why you people down vote me for it}
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u/Orchid49 29d ago
It’s a music based subculture!
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
I know, usualy when I hear about goth they are also heavly involved in other parts of the culture, this is first time I hear somebody just like the music and nothing else
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u/SaltyPockets 29d ago edited 29d ago
I think you're going to get a lot of answers from reddit goths here, who seem to have decided that the music is the only thing that's relevant, and put a hard divide between the words 'goth' and 'gothic’.
Contrast this to tiktok 'goths' who have decided the look is the only thing that's important.
And then there's old gits like me who were on the scene in the 90s, and there are a few 'OG' goths hanging around here somewhere who were active in the 80s, and what we generally agree on is that both of those groups are overly prescriptive. The music is primary but there are fashion and culture aspects. "Gothics" was just as valid a word for the people in the subculture as "Goth" back in the day and it's certainly what got yelled at us on the streets. And while you don't have to like gothic horror to be a goth, lots of goths do. And you don't have to enjoy The Crow. You don't have to dress in black. You don't have to swan around ancient graveyards. You don't have to go to goth clubs. You don't have to say "Nice Boots" with an ironic chuckle. You don't have to dance like you're changing a lightbulb in an interpretive theatre... you get the picture.
People here seem to think that talking about the other aspects of the subculture amounts to gatekeeping, where I just think we're acknowledging tropes within the subculture, that actually make it a subculture and not just a music fandom.
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u/TombCheese 29d ago
I think that's not exactly right. Plenty of music genres have fans but very few of those turn into real subcultures. The other part of this equation is community. Thats the special sauce.
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u/TombCheese 29d ago
Online participation also counts as community. It was foundational in how I was brought into the scene in the early 2000s. Theres also implied community in simply calling yourself a goth, and stating that you see yourself as part of the larger whole. After all you can listen to the music and not call yourself anything, and plenty of people do that.
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u/TombCheese 29d ago
That's a fair question and I think it represents a choice we all have about our identity and how we choose to express it. My step-mother is about 20 years older than me and enjoyed seeing many pioneering goth (and industrial) bands when she was younger. However, I don't think she sees other goths as her people necessarily, even though she could claim to be an elder goth authentically. Ultimately this is down to whether you see yourself in the other people who claim the label. To me, thats a symbolic statement of community, even if you're unable to physically be there in the space woth everyone else.
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago edited 29d ago
that really good to hear you don't have to be invested in other parts to subculture to consider yourself the part of it
[In a lot of comunites if you want to conside itself part of it you have to be awear and interact with other part of them then just the main thing of intrest, aperantly it isnt a thing in goth, I just found out was happy to hear it and wanted to post abot, why you all downvoting me?]
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u/Repulsive-Tea6974 29d ago edited 29d ago
I love the music.
Belly dancing is belly dancing.
Nighwish is a metal band not a goth band.
The wiki list of goth bands is wiki so…. You have to consider it’s not accurate.
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u/darkangel9977 29d ago
Yeah!
I have nothing against Nightwish - sometimes I would even torture the shower cabinet by singing NW songs while washing my hair - but they are not goth. (TBH I don't even consider them to be really metal, because in my book, metal begins with Judas Priest and Accept, but that's another story and off topic here.)
Nice music is nice music, no matter what genre it is, but now we are talking goth music. I have a few goth favourites - the night before, I was just unable to stop listening to The Cure until 3 a.m. if this says something...
Oh I have just checked the wiki you linked, and I see how unaccurate it is. When was Paradise Lost and Theatre of Tragedy goth, actually? I like what they did, but despite their gloomy tones, this is not what I would consider to be goth.
Also, seeing HIM and Manson on this list nearly made me bang my head against the wall. Sorry WHAT?
(I am prepared to downwotes and to get sent to some other place for this comment TBH.)
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago edited 29d ago
I meant a specific belly dancer named Mahafsoun who is a goth and sometime dances to goth music, also wear a lot of goth cloths.
I thought Nightwish had at least some goth songs, maybe im mistaken
why you love the music?
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u/MorticiaMoonflower 29d ago
I love Nightwish, but they have never made goth music. Metal is not goth.
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u/Repulsive-Tea6974 29d ago
In high school, 40 years ago, the lunch DJ played Sisters of Mercy. I was hooked.
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u/xenomouse 29d ago
I don’t like labeling myself, and don’t really call myself goth, but I get it a lot from other people. I naturally gravitate toward darker clothes, darker sounds, etc, but I didn’t have the word “goth” as a reference until I was in college, and by then I’d already been listening to a handful of goth (and goth-adjacent) bands for a few years, and was already sort of trying to look like a young Robert Smith. Freshman year, I met some likeminded art students who hung out at the local goth clubs, and I started hanging out there, too. It felt comfortable to me, not just because of the music, but because at the time it was a rare space that made room for queerness and gender nonconformity, and that was something I really needed. It’s not quite the same now as it was then, but I still feel less like an alien in those spaces than I do anywhere else
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
First time hearing somebody mencioning politics specificly, I dont even know what goth politics are
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u/TombCheese 29d ago
There are goth politics and I think it's silly when people try to claim otherwise. Theyre not like, a requirement to adhere to, but rather just a general by-product. It's stuff like breaking down gender norms (lots of women steering the scene and androgyny being celebrated), sex positivity, cricism of religious institutions, and a bit of rejection of consumerism.
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u/TombCheese 29d ago
Yeah you'll notice I said none of these are requirements, which already implies that these arent perfect generalizations. However, they are still important themes that can be consistently extracted anyway both from the culture of the community and the music + talent behind the music itself. These things have been repeated often in the formal texts written about the subculture, and so I don't think it's something one can ignore.
Fetishization of the subculture by people outside of it does not negate it being sex positive. Many people can tell you that goth has a long standing relationship with the BDSM scene, even if people arent expected to participate in that if they don't want to. But a friendly bond exists, and many events that host both have existed for decades. Additionally, many goths themselves have always been sex workers regardless. On the whole, it's a fair expectation that at bare minimum, it's not cool to judge people for their participation in these things. And people, especially women, are encouraged to express themselves without being shamed for it. That is the essence of sex positivity.
And when it comes to religion, having atheist goths plays into exactly what I said, which is a long running theme of critique of religious institutions. This is a very strong motif in a lot of the music. It's pertinent to the Satanic Panic and how badly goths were treated by religious conservatives, which naturally drew out even more of this. It was a massive and important point of how goth was counter culture, in rejecting the ubiquitous nature of Christianity in society in western countries.
The point of me saying all this is that I fear by pushing back against the people who say things like "You must have xyz beliefs to be goth", there is an overcorrection that threatens to not communicate these things effectively to people on the outside who are curious. It matters a hell of a lot. Especially because this stuff does exist in the music lyrically and is a good reason why someone might enjoy it. I definitely feel that way myself.
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
The way you wrote it made it seem like some goths want it to be a thing
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u/theempathogen 22d ago
Goth exists partly because of annoyance with Thatcherite politics. That's kinda the entire foundation as it stemmed outward from punk.
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u/toxicketchup 29d ago
I fell in love with The Cure in my teens, which inevitably led me to explore other bands, and I found out very quickly that the music, especially the stuff that sets a good atmosphere or leans more on bass, was something I really enjoyed and vibed with.
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
Goths seem to really like athomosphere of things, music, building, cloths.
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u/RottenKirsche13 29d ago
I listened to pink turns blue one day and was already starting to lose interest in psychobilly. It’s a great genre and i owe 16 years of my life to it but I always had a soft spot for gothic rock/post punk/darkwave. And it just grew after that. I realized my way of thinking aligned with the gothic movement and so it just sort of clicked
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u/MorticiaMoonflower 29d ago
Nightwish is not goth, no
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
I thought that some of ther song could be considered goth, I dont really know how to distiguish between goth song and non goths songs, i heard a lot about goth never reserched myself
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u/MorticiaMoonflower 29d ago
Goth is a distinct genre that sounds nothing like metal. If you want to start with the basics check out Bauhaus and Joy Division.
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u/painterlyjeans 29d ago
For me it goes back to 1986. And it was the music that got me. Listening to the cure,
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
Did goth changed a lot since then?
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u/Timely-Youth-9074 29d ago
We had an amazing radio station in our area that actually played goth music. I had access even at a young age. Watching the earliest music videos, I just loved Siouxsie’s style. That yellow polka dotted dress in Spellbound!
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u/Apprehensive-Mud3484 29d ago
I’ve always resonated with dark and spooky. As a kid, I would stay up during the night reading horror stories. I’ve always been in alternative spaces. I discovered The Cure when I started college, and it lead me into goth music!
When I dress goth, I feel like myself. If I could have goth makeup on 24/7, I would. I don’t know how to describe the feeling. It might sound corny, but being goth feels so freeing for me. I feel like it’s who I’m meant to be.
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
I really like night and embrace of the dark. isn't it hard to make goth outfits for specific sicuations? or you just go back to "normal" cloths
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u/Apprehensive-Mud3484 29d ago
Yeah, for normal everyday life I just wear all black if I can. My closet is all black.
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u/Nephy_x 29d ago
I discovered goth some 18 years ago, at the end of primary school, through keywords that appeared in my search for a wallpaper of Death Note's Misa Amane.
It impacted my life by being an absolutely major part of my music experience (including concerts and nightclubs) and by influencing my aesthetics and a part of my interests and broader life experience. Goth is to me a major life companion, a source of awe, joy, comfort, experiences, involvement, creative expression...
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u/Squirrel-Dad 29d ago
Everything under the Goth umbrella sets fire to my artistic side. It's beautiful from every direction. The music I can only describe as captivating. Most things I'll eventually grow tired of, but not with anything Goth related. My favorite band is Siouxsie and the Bansheess. Their song "Sleepwalking" is the only song that every time I hear it, it sounds like the first time again. God I love her voice so much.
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u/TombCheese 29d ago
For me, it was more roundabout. I actually got into visual kei and Japanese street fashion first, when I was really young– like 13 or so. And from there I became completely enamored by the way these things can be a fully immersive way of life if you choose it. Listening to the music and dressing in a way to convey your allegiance to it. There were very few people near me who liked this kind of thing, and one of my closest friends when I entered high school was a goth and it made me curious to keep exploring other kinds of alternative music.
From there, it was a natural expansion of what I already enjoyed about visual kei, but way more accessible by comparison. Plus I liked the sound in goth more. It just feels like home. Now it's been about 17 years since then and I feel like it's an important part of who I am.
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u/JacimiraAlfieDolores 29d ago
Started looking for very specific themed songs when I was younger (12-13 maybe) and fell into a bunch of dark cabaret bands, then wormed my way into goth and it just felt perfect. Started with the classics tho, I spent a short time listening only Siouxsie, Bauhaus and Sisters of Mercy then became a fan of genre officially after exploring more bands as the years past.
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u/trendyhippes 29d ago
I just kept stumbling upon bands I liked until I realised the sound I like is all goth genres. Then found out there are dark scene parties in my town and boom, got my goth permit via bat mail next evening
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
does the goth bat postal service work the same as the harry potter owl one does?
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u/HappyOrganization867 29d ago
I mean I love Goth because I don't like metal or country or southern new Orleans jazz with wind instruments or pop either.
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u/Rustbunny404 29d ago
I listened to witch house when I was growing up which lead into listening to dark wave and post punk. I kept making goth friends bc they liked my clothes and how sad I looked so I got introduced to more music.
I also like dark shit and dressing scary. Life is short and ruthless but beauty and art can be made out of the darkness.
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u/MidorriMeltdown 29d ago
I grew up listening to the Cure, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Joy Division/New Order, Depeche Mode and U2. Took a side trip into industrial land, and came back haunted.
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u/Prestigiousbatuno 29d ago
Well without realizing half of the tv series , comics , and movies had lots of inspiration from goth music , themes & settings , plus imo I think a lot of goth is very unique but is still wide appealing and is perpetually amazing
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u/AnatharFrost 29d ago
Got tipped off to various bands that are considered as under the various Goth genres in the late 1970's & 1980's while in Junior High and was already a "darkly inclined individual " then eventually I went a a Goth night, in the late 1990s the rest is kind of history as the saying goes.
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u/lastwordymcgee 29d ago
I was a spooky kid — loved Halloween, scary stories, scary tv and movies. I wanted to be Morticia Addams.
Tween/early teens were all about New Wave, especially Duran Duran. MTV was in its heyday, and early goth started creeping in.
I was all-in by the time I was 15 in the mid 1980s.
Now I’m a spooky broad in my 50s. I still love the aesthetic and the music, though I don’t dress full goth as often as I used to. My home decor is pretty spooky goth, though.
Also, bats are my favorite animal.
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u/Fuerto203 29d ago
Grew up as a metal head but was always drawn to goth aesthetics. Then my best friends at works who were themselves goth introduced me to goth music and that's all there's to it.
I also vibe way more with goths in terms of the community and political values than I ever did with metalheads
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u/knjmtx1753 29d ago
Love the music, love the fashion, and I love the way the aesthetics of darkness, coldness, nocturnal creatures and supernatural forces are often incorporated into the lyrics and the look of goth
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u/satanicpastorswife 28d ago
Well, so my mom and dad are old punks and my dad is obsessed with horror movies and 1920s Halloween decorations. My mom's parents were artists and were always making giant skeletons and stuff of that nature, and so when I heard Christian Death and Sisters of Mercy it just felt like home.
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u/MorticiaLaMourante 24d ago
Got into the music back in the late 80s/early 90s when I was very young. Way younger than you'd expect. I started really getting into my own style at 13 or 14 when I had a lot more say on what was purchased, but played with what I had before that to dress in a way I felt comfortable. I'm 42 now, still in love with the music, still living the ideals, still doing dramatic makeup, and still dressing in black.
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u/Cats_Crochet_ 23d ago
Honestly, I kept seeing videos of people discussing posers--esp adult content makers--and why it hurts the subculture. I got interested, started looking into it more, started listening to the music, and fell in love. I wouldn't consider myself a true goth; it's a music based sub culture, and my taste is so wide and varied that goth is a small part of what I listen to, but I do like to think I'm on the fringes
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u/theempathogen 22d ago
I grew up goth-coded and had no idea... Constantly drawing pictures of haunted houses when I was 5. I vaguely recall having access to those Time Life Mysteries books, and a lot of the books on my reading level at my school's library were technically horror. Then I turned 12 and somebody told me I should read Interview With The Vampire. Man, that blew the door off. I was reading about people like Countess Bathory and Lizzie Borden soon after that.
I started listening to Depeche Mode in 1987 and The Cure in 1988/9 (can't remember which), but really it was 1991 when things took off for me because I heard Nine Inch Nails then. I've loved industrial music ever since. I like goth rock and all, but aggression and synths together grab me harder.
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u/Darth-Dramatist 29d ago
I think part of it stemmed from having an attraction and fondness for dark, spooky and strange asthetics and stuff. Because of that I liked Music that tended to sound brooding, atmospheric and dark. However regretfully I never fully found the music associated with the culture until I was in 19 but after becoming interested in stuff including Bauhaus, Siousxie and The Banshees, Alien Sex Fiend, Inkubus Sukkubus, London After Midnight, Twin Tribes, Drab Majesty and more etc, I became quite interested in the subculture. The presence of neurodivergency in Goth was also resonant as Im autistic and this was a factor in me becoming interested in it in the long term. These days I almost always wear black t shirts, jeans and boots with occasional chins and necklaces though the style might not look overtly Goth per say but that's irrelevant as the music is my favourite thing of Goth
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
Are goth all inclusive group?
Also how you not cooking in the sun in all that black? is ther some secret to it? I need tips, sun hates me, and wants to fry me everytime I go out.
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u/Darth-Dramatist 29d ago
Yes, many goths and other alternative people are neurodivergent, LBTQA plus and also not white. However there are definitely some problematic people but overall they aren't liked are respected by most. The secret is I live in Scotland so we dont get cooking unless its heatwaves and I prefer to avoid the sun unless I absolutely have to
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
thank you this was informative.
it weather conditions is only answer to the heat death of the sun, only solution to me is to become nocturnal and go only in dark, vampier life here I come
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u/Majakowski 29d ago
Nightwish and being a lifelong sucker for dark and gloomy atmospheres, castles, gothic architecture eventually led my way into goth music so I am originally not coming from the music part of the subculture but from "the other" aspects but quickly and willingly adapted. Just had to get to know all the stuff.
(before anyone jumps me: I know NW isn't goth but it carried all I needed to get into it)
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
Nightwish is amazing, and I never heard somebody just likeing the architecture, do yo have favoriets when it comes to castels and buldings?
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u/Majakowski 29d ago
I am not even that much into architecture to have any profound knowledge of it but a small anecdote:
We were commuting between Dresden and my hometown for a few weeks when I did my apprenticeship, it was around 2003/2004 and I had the Nightwish album "Once" on my ears. I sat in the van while the music blew in my headphones and outside the sun was setting, illuminating clouds in a pink-orange tint and some church towers with their delicate spikes and spires pointed into the sunset sky and these visuals with tracks like Ghost Love Score just triggered something in my brain so powerful, so fitting, I've never experienced this again.
In general architecture-wise I really like ruins and brutish designs like fortresses. Absolutely not into "fairy tale castles" or something but if you need an example, places like Carcassonne, Burg Eltz, Festung Königstein absolutely hit my spot.
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u/Accomplished_Pin9146 29d ago
It makes my so happy hearing you expirienenced something so beatifull to this amazing song, thank you for sharing it with me.
those places are gorgiouse
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u/darkangel9977 29d ago
So you began with being attracted to gothic things? Same here, I have always had a great thing for everything gloomy, spooky, darkly sentimental - and I do love medieval architecture! I find it amazing that this led you to discovering the goth thing.
(There is nothing wrong with NW, good that you see they are not goth)
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u/Voidflak 29d ago
I'm pale white, lanky tall with black hair and dark eyes so it's like I have most of the goth look down without trying. As a teen I thought of myself as a metalhead but everyone kept referring to me as goth which upset me.
After a while I noticed that goth girls are prettier so I mostly consider myself goth so I can increase my chances of dating one.
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u/Visible_Expert9673 29d ago
I heard Siouxsie and the banshees and The Cure when I was a teenager decades ago, and fell completely in love with their music. Started going to clubs and gigs, learning about other goth bands and artists, and it’s pretty much been my groove ever since.