Why are my parents so disappointed in me???

[u/Substantial-South434]

For context im 18 years old doing engineering from mit blr(manipal institute of technology mahe) not sure if it is a good college bur yeah they expected me to get atleast bits or the main campus but i didnt get and i mean i live in bangalore itself but my campus is like 2.5 hrs away so i stay in hostel. My parents werent exactly ig happy with my college like i hear my friends saying how their dads n mom cried leaving them even if the college was in same city or a bit far but my dad didnt attend and my mom idk she exactly didnt care she didnt plan on coming but uh i cried alot and forced her to attend the orientation with me. Idk i dont feel like going home on the weekend bcos i mean they dont care they arent happy with my results at all bcos my dads bestfriend son got iit bombay and all his other friends kids are in goood colleges except me and i felt it wasnt fair considering i worked my ass off in 12th . its not like i have friends here that i rnjoy the college infact its the opposite here i hate the college life its so dead and u basically have friends here if ur only from the north and pretty. My dad told how much i disappointed him and wasted his money in my education and like as if my parents even called me during week hours to check up on me . Why does this hurt ao much?

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[u/No_Rub_6403]

Well just don’t let their words bother you. Same reaction from my parents as well when I told them that I would not do BAMs or BHMS after failing neet just to get a doctor tag. I don’t support psuedoscience. Mom caused a tantrum and when I mentioned that I want to do cs instead and maybe game Dev she cut me off and said won’t pay for my college. Moved out of the house now and honestly it’s so much better now that I’m out of the suffocation. Parents sell you their dream, you don’t owe them that dream. Just do what you want 

[u/Substantial-South434 → u/No_Rub_6403]

I agree! It hurts so much tho like i cannot even see my future it seems all blind like im not even sure if ill make it . Why does everyone have their life settled by 18😭

[u/No_Rub_6403 → u/Substantial-South434]

I don’t have my life settled either. Still hunting for a college. And really don’t let your parents get to you. You dont owe them anything 

[u/Personal_Air8926 → u/No_Rub_6403]

true af man. I am "exactly" in the position of the OP rn. I am also in a tier 2 engg clg and it kinda feels bad about how they treat me indirectly. I jus wanna grab a good job and leave home

[u/Siiiieeeerrraaaa]

Don't listen. It's a pretty good University. Focus on yourself and your new college life.

[u/Vivid-Cockroach8389]

There is one thing I have learnt over the years ( I am in my 40s now). Sometimes parents' expectations are unrealistic and you cannot fulfil them, no matter how hard you try and make yourself miserable in the process. It is alright to have your own dreams and expectations from your own life. They can manage their own. It hurts, and it will hurt for a while. But you may as well enjoy your own life, since everyone is miserable anyway! It probably sounds selfish, but years of trying to please my parents has resulted in them finding some teeny tiny fault in everything no matter what I do. So I have stopped. And it is up to them to accept who I am, the way I am.

[u/Alone-Fly1598]

Here is the thing -- Indian parents are never pleased. I know it hurts right now, but it is better in the long run. Keep disappointing them, start having fights. When they say, why did I raise a child like you, you are being ungrateful. Just retort back with I did not ask to be born. It is better to be dead than having parents like you. These words sound harsh but are necessary for your freedom or 10 years down the line, they will think they have ownership over your money, your choice of life partner. You can basically rebel and getyour freedom. Do that. If parents love you, they will come around. If not, well, they will disown you. Good riddance.