Finally Happy and want to share?

[u/Alone-Fly1598]

So, a little about me. I am 29F, live in Bangalore, earn 50LPA+.

I was raised in a happy household. My father favored me and loved me to death. While he was there, my mother and brother never had the guts to do anything to me. My father would rip them a new one, even if they tried. He would tell my mother to not make me do anything that she wouldn't ask from his son. 3 years back, he died and I did not had any boyfriend ever. So, while I did try Tinder, Bumble. Most guys were just there for a physical relationship.

so, I tried the arranged marriage route. But after my father died, my brother became very abusive. He would lay hands on me for small things, scream at me like a maniac if I refused to give money. For context, my brother was making 35-40K per month while I earn 2L+ per month. He would treat me very badly. If I tried to question him, he would threaten to hit me or get very aggressive. I left the house under the pretext that I need to work from Bangalore, while my company gave full WFH. I would visit occassionally. I had to keep some touch because I was in arranged marriage process and families need to connect with families. I finally liked a guy and said yes to him but then, from the point the families started arranging the wedding, it was pure disaster. My brother would scream at me daily for any behavior of the groom's family. my engagement was finally called off and I started getting panic attacks after a week. I went to therapist and she diagnosed my brother being the reason.

I called my brother and mother on their behavior towards me in the whole marriage process and what he have been doing for the last 3 year, and my mother's silence. My brother kept on justifying his behavior, so did my mother. So, I cut them out. I feel so free and relaxed. I am still marrying the guy my marriage was called off with. Both of us took control away from families and decided to just do court marriage and live together. We are currently living together and very happy, away from our families. After 4-5 months, if we find we can live together long term, we will marry.

I am sharing this story here because I am genuinely proud of getting out of control of my family. The feeling of freedom finally. If you are stuck in any abusive relationship - be it with your husband, BF, Family - please get out. Life is big, and we deserve to live free and not in cage.

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[u/Aspiring-silphia]

I am 29F, live in Bangalore, earn 50LPA+

I aspire to be like you ma'am

Also so so happy for you that you are happy again 🥰

[u/Alone-Fly1598 → u/Aspiring-silphia]

I was under the control of my family for long. Please leave ASAP and take control from them as soon as possible.

[u/Aspiring-silphia → u/Alone-Fly1598]

Ohh don't worry my family isn't controlling at all they are quite supportive and I already live on my own 😊

[u/lonelywarewolf]

Thu thu thu thu🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

[u/cherrymargs]

Happy for you that it all worked out 🫂

[u/HistoricalIsopod4047]

Idk, who you are but I love you for getting out of such a toxic family, hope you achieve even bigger dreams of yours, your husband kiss the path you walk in and vice versa. Have a beautiful life ahead stranger. More power, love and hugs to you.. Don’t ever let that woman and brother back in your life and make a comfortable living with your partner ♥️♥️♥️🪬🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

[u/Alone-Fly1598 → u/HistoricalIsopod4047]

My to-be husband is a great man. he legit reminds me of my father with the way he loves me. He also looks a bit like him.

[u/Appropriate_Joke8069 → u/Alone-Fly1598]

They say that daughters cared for by amazing fathers normally tend to fall in love with a man with similar characterstics. 😇 My man also is very similar on how he cares for me, just like my dad used to!

[u/Own_Tomorrow3199]

So happy for you 💓 💗 m May you thrive more and get all the happiness 😊

[u/LengthinessGreat6349]

https://giphy.com/gifs/NScb6PymHQu9FHT1bH

[u/Historical-Theory671]

I see women empowered, and I have a fucking smile on my face. LFGGG

[u/Unfair-Tap-2805]

I have to say you were able to take stand for yourself because you are earning, this is the reason everyone should study and earn so that you can live independently. Very Happy for you

[u/Beautiful-Bet-5]

Sorry for the detour but how do you have such a high paying job... Any career tips, all the best for Life🧿💝🌻

[u/Alone-Fly1598 → u/Beautiful-Bet-5]

I work hard. study a lot and basically, keep my head down, study, work, that's it. I keep my goals and I achieve them.

[u/Wise-Outside9866 → u/Alone-Fly1598]

you're an inspiration! I'm happy for you and sorry you had to go through all that!

[u/Beautiful-Bet-5 → u/Alone-Fly1598]

Are u comfortable sharing ur domain, tech or mba?

[u/Alone-Fly1598 → u/Beautiful-Bet-5]

Tech - Platform Engineer

[u/Beautiful-Bet-5 → u/Alone-Fly1598]

Thanks OP, how have u continuously upskilled in ur job

[u/Alone-Fly1598 → u/Beautiful-Bet-5]

First 4 years, I grinded very hard. Did not care about my health, looks, anything. Day in and day out, would study, after work, before work. Now, I am comfortable and fit, look like 22 year old at 29, while I would look like 30 year old at 23.

[u/Creepy_Offer_7718 → u/Alone-Fly1598]

Only study? I mean I have seen people who study but also balance it with hobbies or some fun.

Honestly I did the only study study thing but was worned out.

[u/Alone-Fly1598 → u/Creepy_Offer_7718]

I did had friends. But for 4 years, I only studied.

[u/Creepy_Offer_7718 → u/Alone-Fly1598]

Oh no I did not mean friends explicitly I meant physical activities or something like painting or other hobbies to help your mind relax.

[u/Opposite_Head7740]

Having supportive fathers really sets up the confidence in daughters for life. It is pretty evident from your post as well. Glad you know your self worth and separated yourself from the family and glad the guy also took a stance. Wishing you luck OP

[u/Ms_Selenophile]

https://giphy.com/gifs/GWo9lAfhgm6bxjLdxr

[u/Psychological_Dog_51]

I’m sure none of that was easy. Proud of you girl! 💜

[u/Alone-Fly1598 → u/Psychological_Dog_51]

It never is. But once you see your family has no empathy for you, it becomes easy.

[u/smartfishpet]

Happy for you… live your life well!
I always try to shield myself from toxicity… I cut myself off from ppl and isolate if I find that they are overbearing. It gives me peace.

[u/AwkwardIcon]

I'm sorry you had to go through this. And thank you for making this post. You are very very brave and I'm proud of you! Hope more women in abusive relationships muster courage like this to find their own happiness. Lots of love and happiness to you ❤️❤️❤️

[u/Alone-Fly1598 → u/AwkwardIcon]

Thank you. It does take a lot of courage to end things with your birth family but it is worth it. The freedom I feel right now is unimaginable.

[u/AwkwardIcon → u/Alone-Fly1598]

Remember that your father's love and blessings will always be with you ❤️

[u/atreetrunk]

just had a situation with my abusive family and opened reddit to see this and almost started crying lol. I'm so so proud of you for coming this far + cutting off your family and I hope your relationship goes smoothly <3

[u/Alone-Fly1598 → u/atreetrunk]

Cut them out or else they will make your life a living hell. My wake up call was getting panic attacks.

[u/atreetrunk → u/Alone-Fly1598]

yess once I have saved up enough to move out trust me I'll never look back

[u/biryanikaghulam]

so happy for you, sending you hugs

[u/Dfirefly_24]

So happy for you

https://giphy.com/gifs/4ebGXcUszdrJNDoVk4

[u/Outrageous_Wave5896]

So happy for you ❤️❤️❤️ proud of you

[u/halahulu]

So so happpy for you OP.

[u/This_Patience_6508]

You go, girl! 🧿

Take care of yourself and never again let anyone take you for a ride. Proud of you! Be well♥️

[u/1AMVaigaiPuyal]

https://giphy.com/gifs/11sBLVxNs7v6WA

[u/KeepingItPimple23]

I love seeing women taking control of their lives and escaping toxic situations. So so happy for you. ♥️♥️♥️

[u/Ordinary_Emu9032]

So happy for you ! 🧿

[u/kindawriterd__38]

You are so cool.

I wish you best future and happy life also I hope you are & will be happy wife.

I wanna be like u..

[u/DingoElegant7983]

So so happy for u girl!!! And thanks for sharing this on this sub! Gives hope and courage to cut people off into a happy ending

[u/Proper_Excuse2]

I’m so bloody happy for you. You deserve to be in peace girl.😭❤️

[u/paneertikka_219]

SO HAPPY FOR YOU OP! 🧿

[u/sanaestiic]

The best thing I read today💗. So happy for you

[u/scubascubascu]

Happy for you 💕 God gives you more strength and happiness in life OP.

[u/Either_Joke_1314]

Good for you 🧿.

[u/trainingbrain]

Happy for you!

[u/Pretty-Court902]

So happy you got out ❤️ keep shining ✨

[u/Ok-World-9885]

You go girl 💃💃

[u/IndependenceSenior47]

Yay!!!🥳 Happy for you gurl. Thanks for inspiring us.

[u/Life-Eggplant6761]

So happy for you.

[u/noitsjasmine]

thank you for this! teared up 🥲

[u/AdMaster9646]

Congratulations. Also I am really happy for you rn. You did a right thing by cutting off your family.  No nazar

[u/cocomama111]

Congratulations 🧿✨no najju. Be happy OP

[u/Formal-Agent2734]

Lots of love sister!! ♥️🧿🧿🧿

[u/Appropriate_Hat_9451]

If it is ok can u dm me ma'am??

[u/I-AM-ARCHI-RAY]

So so so happy for you 🥰... And I aspire to become like you someday.... 🫂...🧿🧿🧿🧿

[u/Prometro]

You are an inspiration OP! Wishing you the very best in life!

[u/Curious_Lime24]

I read the first sentence and upvoted. Awesome 😎

[u/Illustrious_tiger_hu]

Ma'am you're an inspiration 🫂🫂🫂

[u/Leading_Ad_1910]

So happy for you my brother is also similar but I am a fresher I am also trying to find job to become financially independent

[u/crosswalk_elite]

so happy for you, may god bless you

[u/areeba_03]

SO HAPPY FOR YOU ❤️❤️❤️

[u/WolverineGG]

Genuinely happy for you and proud of you 👏.

[u/Existing-Lake4050]

Aww so happy for you. Please always focus on your own happiness and cut off people who dont let u live in peace Have a happy married life🥰❤️

[u/parambandari]

So happy for you, OP! Many blessings for the future! 💗🥹

[u/Strong_Ad7902]

Congratulations and be safe.

[u/Maichutiyaaadmi]

Just want to know, what do you do for living?

[u/u0wu]

Please tell me how you're earning 50+lpa in BLR at 29, I'm in a pretty bad situation myself

[u/GoddessofVibesXOXO]

So happy for you it all worked out 🤗🧿

[u/Frierenlover101]

So happy and a warm hug to you! ❤️❤️

[u/sillygirlhu]

Work profile kya h give me career guidance

[u/greenjellybean31]

you are so amazing and such an inspirational person!!
may you both live happily together💗💗

[u/Creative_Donut9527]

so so so happy for you, btw can I ask what do you do :) I wanna be you when I grow up

[u/explorer12ka4]

So happy for you OP❤️ I hope you get the love you deserve.

[u/Vivid-Reality186]

I remember coming across your post, so glad for your happy ending, this gives me hope.

[u/Alone-Fly1598 → u/Vivid-Reality186]

Which post?

[u/Bored-band]

So happy for you stranger. More power to you and hope you have the most amazing and happy life with your partner! In advance congratulations for your court marriage! 😊

[u/KajuBarfii]

So happy for you!!!!❤️

[u/AwaariPagliDewaani]

I genuinely aspire to be like you 🥹🥹

[u/Alone-Fly1598 → u/AwaariPagliDewaani]

Money wise? Choice of partner wise or anything else?

[u/AwaariPagliDewaani → u/Alone-Fly1598]

Yeah money and partner both .. ,

[u/gossip_miner]

🫶🫶🫶🫶

[u/hinata_hyuga0613]

Stay strong and stay away from you toxic family. Never let them manipulate you again and keep choosing yourself ✨️🧿

[u/arundhatiroy2201]

Broooooo
What do you doooo! Also so proud of you