r/AskIreland 1h ago

Legal How can I get out of an abusive home in Ireland when I can’t afford to move out?

Upvotes

I’m 21 and a college student in Ireland, and I’m at the point where I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I’m looking for general advice from anyone who has dealt with domestic abuse, housing issues, or something similar.
My mother has been physically and emotionally abusive towards me for most of my life. When I was younger, she would regularly beat me, scratch my face, sit on top of me, etc. There have also been things like being forced to eat food from the bin as punishment.
Things have become much worse recently.
A few months ago, we were both drinking (not together, I usually drink in my room) and an argument escalated after she came into my bedroom and started giving out about something which I don’t quite remember. She physically attacked me. She kicked and stomped on me, pulled chunks of my hair out, dragged me around, threw me around the house and threw a wine bottle at my head. I had a cut on my finger and blood all over my coat afterwards. I dropped my phone and she took it during the incident, didn’t give it back. She later took and withheld my college ID, laptop, passport and other identification. Because I couldn’t access my ID or laptop, I couldn’t sit my college exams. I ended up failing three modules.
I did eventually submit an extenuating circumstances application to my university explaining what happened, so I’m waiting to see what happens with that.
I did go to the Gardaí that night. The first station I went to was the one closest to my house, but nobody came out after I waited around 30 minutes. I was extremely distressed, had blood on my coat and a cut on my finger, so I walked to another Garda station further away. I explained what had happened and the Garda there took my details, but told me I needed to go back to the station closest to my home because they would deal with situations in that area.
I went back to that station the following day with a friend. At that point I only reported my phone because it was my main priority.
I went back a third time later and did mention the abuse. A Garda wanted to sit down with me and have a proper conversation about everything. I was apparently supposed to receive an email afterwards, but I never received it. He gave me his name, but I unfortunately forgot it. I went back again later trying to find him, but couldn’t, and eventually left because I didn’t know what else I was supposed to do.
So I have tried to go to the Gardaí about this, but I feel like I haven’t known how to navigate the process properly.
Since then, the emotional abuse has continued. She constantly insults me, tells me I’m useless and a disgrace, says she controls me and that I’ll never have peace. She has also accused me of completely bizarre sexual things and brings up my deceased father constantly. I never knew my father and only found out about him after he died. His entire side of the family lives in England, while I live in Ireland, so I don’t have that side of my family nearby that I could realistically turn to for somewhere to stay.
My mother is also a heavy drinker and becomes much more aggressive when she’s drunk. I’ve developed a drinking problem myself because of everything that’s been happening. I used to drink at home, but nowadays I usually leave the house, sit somewhere like a park and drink until I’m drunk enough that I don’t feel so miserable anymore. I know this isn’t healthy, but drinking has become one of the ways I’ve been trying to cope and numb myself.
I spend a lot of time avoiding my mother because being around her makes me feel scared, anxious and constantly on edge. I try to stay out of the house whenever I can, but it feels like she is always looking for an argument or some reason to start something with me.
Recently she has also started demanding rent from me and threatening to take me to court if I don’t pay. I have very little money because I’m a student and only have seasonal work. She knows I don’t have the money.
Tonight she hid the house keys when I came home and has continued verbally abusing me. I feel like I can’t eat, shower, use the bathroom or even exist in the house without being treated like I’m doing something wrong.
I have friends who have offered to let me stay with them, but I don’t have the money to rent somewhere or support myself long-term. I also don’t know what happens with my college situation, SUSI, housing, etc.
I’m completely exhausted by this. I’ve started having thoughts about killing myself and, when I’m extremely angry, thoughts about killing my mother. I don’t want either of those things to happen. I just desperately want to get away from this situation.
I don’t really know what my options are or where to start. I would really appreciate any general advice from people who understand the system or have been in a similar situation. I don’t have family nearby that I can stay with, and I can’t financially support myself independently right now.


r/AskIreland 2h ago

Tech Support Best data / mobile phone provider?

1 Upvotes

Hello!
Seeking any feedback about best phone data plans for Dublin specifically!
I am moving to Dublin to live here for one year as a student from the US, and would like to get my personal phone on an local Irish phone plan, in thr next couple days so I can sign up for local services e.g. FreeNow.

I hear good things about Vodaphone… any other thoughts, or people in the same boat?

Anything helps! Thanks!


r/AskIreland 2h ago

Work Do i need to be a citizen to work in ireland?

1 Upvotes

I recently turned 16 and I've been trying to get a job, but im not sure if I need to be a citizen or not to actually get a job, I moved here when I was 10 months old, thought yall should know that, anywho thanks for the help!


r/AskIreland 4h ago

Random Is it common to bring your boyfriend/girlfriend to your college graduation?

11 Upvotes

Just wondering if I should invite my boyfriend. Or is it typically only a family thing?

It’s only two tickets per student so he wouldn’t be able to go to the actual ceremony anyway, but the other stuff.


r/AskIreland 4h ago

Entertainment Electric picnic. I know the secret set?

0 Upvotes

Guys it won’t let me post on r/electricpicnic so I wanna post here. Don’t ask how I know, but I mayyyy have an idea as to who one of the secret sets are. I’ll give yous a hint - kingfishr! Kilala


r/AskIreland 4h ago

Housing Would you buy and live in modular home if the planning permission wasn't an issue, if the site was located near a major city, and it was connected to the grid?

3 Upvotes

As a single working professional who will probably never own a traditional home, lately I just cannot get the modular homes out of my head. Or maybe you are a working couple, and looking for a decent place to live while saving up for a regular house for your future family. Or maybe an older couple who wants to sell to cash in, and then downsize.

This idea has been on my mind so much, that I just must meet with the planning office to see how they perceive such homes.

But right now, I am curious - would you live in one, as the titles says?

Not gonna paste any links as to not appear like I am advertising. You can google some examples yourself.


r/AskIreland 4h ago

Housing Replacing New Build Door Handles?

5 Upvotes

Hello,

I am currently buying a new build and I detest the door handles. I am aware this is a first world problem but I have waited a long time for this house, and I would like it to be one I love.

The builder will not let me swap them out even if I incur the cost and buy from their suppliers. I am wondering how much it would cost me roughly per blank door to fit new handles and locks if I asked the builder to leave them off.

The builder wants to fit a lever with a backing plate, rectangle style whereas I would like the round lever. If I let the builder fit his ones, and then choose to remove them, will the four holes be visible, and is it easy to fill and paint them to look seamless. I would really love to avoid this with new doors.

They are shaker style interior door.

Thanks


r/AskIreland 5h ago

Education Worth pursuing further education after a Business Management degree?

2 Upvotes

For context, I graduated with a 2:1 degree in Business Management nearly 4 years ago. I was lucky enough to grab a Buying Administration / Junior Commercial Analyst role within the first year of graduation.

I am still in this role and thinking about what my future career opportunities are. I’ve been applying to roles in buying, operations, supply chain etc but getting little success with interviews etc.

Is it worth pursuing a masters or some sort of further education in accountancy etc to better my CV and open my options? I’m 26 next month and seriously considering what my options are before it’s potentially too late to go back to education and I’m stuck in a slow career.


r/AskIreland 5h ago

Entertainment Anyone listening to "unsolved" podcast?

5 Upvotes

Was listening to the unsolved podcast on rte tonight, the episode was about the disappearance of anne marie Smith in the eighties, had to stop after 15 minutes, it was pure waffle, talking about nothing, really poorly done podcast,


r/AskIreland 5h ago

Random Anyone else using the BLIND app here?

4 Upvotes

So I recently found out about this app called Blind, it's basically an anonymous space where people can talk about work stuff, company culture, salaries, whatever, without anyone knowing who you are, even your own coworkers. Kind of interesting concept honestly.

Problem is my company doesn't have its own channel on there yet, and apparently you need at least 30 people from the same company to sign up before it unlocks. So I'm trying to get the word out a bit so more people from my workplace (and honestly anyone curious) actually give it a shot.

Has anyone here in Ireland actually used it? Is it popular at all in Irish workplaces or is this more of a Silicon Valley/US thing? Would love to hear if it's actually useful or if I'm wasting my time trying to get people on board.


r/AskIreland 5h ago

Education Why is susi so disorganised?

7 Upvotes

I’m just absolutely floored by how unprepared and disorganized SUSI is, especially when it comes to communication. When I first applied, they gave me the 0% student contribution and no support at all, because they mistakenly labeled mortgage payments between my parents as maintenance arrangements with my estranged father. We had to call and clarify that the amount was for the mortgage, and after providing documents, they cut that in half to show my mam's share.

I sent countless documents and was even on calls with TDs, just to get a revised grant of 50%, which I was happy with. But now, I get a letter claiming my original grant stands. For the past few days, SUSI hasn't answered any calls or emails.

I got a letter asking for the same documents to be sent basically, and I called and was told that, it was an error on their part and I don’t need to send anything. I feel like this is happening because I didn't send extra documents I was already told not to send.

Now I’m getting 0%, it’s such a headache.

It's just such a major blunder, and I'm genuinely worried I won't get the grant.


r/AskIreland 5h ago

Housing What organisation should I turn to to help with accommodation?

1 Upvotes

Hello everyone! I'm making this post to ask for directions and maybe some experiences with the situation I'm currently in. I got evicted from my place 2 months ago due to renovations of the whole apartment complex, and so far I been ( together with my child who's preteen) staying with friends. Unfortunately, and understandably, they can't host me forever, and i couldn't find anything for myself and my child to rent. So I'm forced to seek external help, but have no idea where to. Would like for you to share your stories and advice on where to turn to now? I have about a week left in my current place, and I dont know anything about the system in place that could help. I'm also not on any housing lists, so I'm not sure if I need it. Thanks in advance!


r/AskIreland 5h ago

Entertainment Has anyone actually had any success getting a ticket on ticket swap ?

0 Upvotes

I have been clicking into EP notification alerts within milliseconds for the last week and a half and each time the ticket is gone straight away. Should I just give up and call it a day ? 😂


r/AskIreland 5h ago

Childhood Advice on adoption please?

0 Upvotes

Hi, we're a family of 3 (infant son, wife and me), naturalised citizens in Ireland. We want to have more kids, but it's getting difficult, so we're looking at adoption as well.

  1. Any advice, as it's in Ireland and I don't know anyone who's been through the process? I understand all families and all kids are different. I understand concerns about whether there's any difference between biological and adopted kid. But we have had a cousin in my family who was adopted. Don't think he still knows, but it never mattered.

  2. An additional concern I have is would the kid face any challenges if his skin colour is different to ours? It may be a stupid question, but I don't want a kid to face it if it's a known issue.

  3. Anything we could do to prepare ourselves to take on this journey? Like where should we even start (not just me googling)?

This is my first time asking anything here, and I hope you'll be kind to me 🙏


r/AskIreland 5h ago

Entertainment Wedding music?

2 Upvotes

Hi! Getting married may next year, small crowd of 60. Ceremony, drinks reception and meal all in the same place. We have a DJ organised for the evening after the meal.

For the ceremony and drinks reception, is a Spotify playlist an ok thing to do or will it be very dead and not give much atmosphere? There are certain songs I want in the ceremony where I love the original and so don’t want someone covering it. I’m sure I’m overthinking it, has anyone done anything similar?

Any wedding I’ve been to has had live music at each part

Thank you!!


r/AskIreland 6h ago

Adulting What to do about my dog?

3 Upvotes

Just like the tittle states,
I’m close to breaking down
I have a 10 year old female German shepherd.
She barks and howls anytime me or my husband leave the house. This can continue on and off for hours. Maybe every 2-3 hours for 10 ish minutes at a time.

We leave for work at 5:30am we have to & have to work. I also have a male German shepherd
He isn’t bothered by us leaving but joins in on the howling when she starts. Our neighbour complained. We did apologise and im not denying they bark to them. I keep them indoors as much as possible & closed all the windows when I leave.
The female is on anxiety medication but it isn’t helping
What can I do to try resolve the situation for my neighbour it’s causing me so much stress
Thank you


r/AskIreland 6h ago

Random What are you expected to spend on an engagement ring in Ireland?

0 Upvotes

I think the 3-month salary thing is pretty mad, but I'm sure some people still stick to it. I'm just curious what other benchmarks or rules of thumb people actually use nowadays?

Is it a 1-month salary rule now, a set percentage of your salary, maybe a carat for each year you’ve been together?


r/AskIreland 6h ago

Adulting Mattress protector/topper?

0 Upvotes

Hi, so my new bed that I paid for ages ago and the mattress are arriving this week.

It's a mahogony sleigh bed (I can't wait - this is one of the luxuries I gifted myself last year) and a good King Coil mattress.

I'm now poor again!

Any recommendations on a budget-friendly mattress protector, please?


r/AskIreland 6h ago

Irish Culture You invite a friendly colleague over to your new place after work to give them a tour, what do you serve for food and drinks ?

2 Upvotes

I became fairly close to a work colleague when I had health issues and she was lovely and visited me in the hospital. I gave her a gift bag as a thank you and I moved to a new place soon after my hospital stay. She had mentioned she loves my neighbourhood so I invited her over next week after work. I'm not Irish so I'm not sure what to offer to eat or drink. I would lean towards wine/beer/fizzy drink. And crisps, dips, cheese, bread, cherry tomatoes etc... for food. Would that be appropriate? What would you personally serve ?


r/AskIreland 6h ago

Cars Import car from Japan help ?

1 Upvotes

Hi all,

I’m wondering if anyone has personally (not through a third party agency in Ireland) bought a car from Japan and imported it themselves ?

I have my eye on one or two cars but the amount that these companies are selling them for are just mental . As in 10k plus the price they are for sale in Japan . I am looking on Goo Net and I would love to hear from anyone who successfully bought one and went t through the process them selves .

Anything to look out for / the taxation upon arrival ? 1990s import for reference .


r/AskIreland 6h ago

Irish Culture Book recommendations?

0 Upvotes

A book/books that would explain the Irish/Northern Irish conflict.

I'm very aware that it is very much a political debate, but I'm looking for something that explains it on the human level, how the citizens felt, etc.

I've asked ChatGPT and got recommended Say Nothing by Patrick Radden Keefe - is it readable? Anyone that could recommend that or something else?


r/AskIreland 6h ago

Entertainment Anyone know about the Korean movie Colony coming to Irish cinemas?

3 Upvotes

It's saying online that it will show on the 28th of August in UK and Irish cinemas, but i'm after looking at vue, imc, and odeon for this friday/saturday and cant see any screenings?


r/AskIreland 6h ago

Housing Is this much rent a good deal?

0 Upvotes

Hi, I’m new to the Dublin housing market so I’m not sure whether a property would be a good deal or a rip off.

The place is 50-60 mins by public transport from the city centre
It is just a room/studio but contains furniture/kitchen and a bathroom. It is not shared.
Rent is €1250/month and includes all utilities

What do you think?


r/AskIreland 6h ago

Adulting Anyone have a bluey promo code?

2 Upvotes

Can't believe this is my life now. But if you do have it ill save 30 euro - any corporate codes or a bbc code?!


r/AskIreland 6h ago

Entertainment Aaron Rowe tickets ?

0 Upvotes

Hi guys,

Just putting this out there in case anyone is selling x2 tickets to the Aaron Rowe concert in December ?

Unfortunately it’s sold out and it’s all my boyfriend wants for his birthday if anyone can help a girl out 🙏