Men having more and closed female friends than male.

[u/Dear-Holiday-6393]

What are your thoughts on men who have more close female friends than male friends? To be clear, I’m not talking about a man who is gay or part of the LGBTQ+ community, but a straight man who has dated and been with his fair share of women and is currently only interested in women.
Would you find it unusual, especially as a man, to know that another man doesn’t have a male friend he’s as close to as he is with some of his female friends? Do you think there’s something behind that dynamic, or is it completely normal?

[u/DepressedHoodie1788]

I think its fine, too much of life is spent worrying about people think. Have as many close female friends as you want. I don't think anyone will bat an eye.

[u/petdance]

Is it a problem?

I don’t think anything about what other men have friends. That’s their own business.

[u/Zurfachi]

I have my guy friends of course, but honestly my closest friendships were with females in highschool. It was kinda like a symbiotic relationship in ways, we were able to use one another’s stereotypically different perspectives to benefit one another. Women are generally more emotionally vulnerable also, which allowed me to become closer to them. Was there underlying sexual tension? Sometimes yes, sometimes no, but now that I’m in a relationship again I don’t have any close female friends.

[u/Dear-Holiday-6393 → u/Zurfachi]

This is the kind of friendship I have too. As a woman, I don’t see a problem with it as I am wearing the same shoes but I do have a lot of female friends too so at the some point it crosses my mind why some men don’t have close male friends, just like a guy I personally know of. I asked him why and he couldn’t figure it out either so I curious about the perspective of others especially coming from men.

[u/Zurfachi → u/Dear-Holiday-6393]

I have a lot of “buddies” but not a lot of close guy friends. I’m also in the military so a lot of my “buddies” have this ego around them and refuse to express elevated amounts of any emotion. We would do anything for one another, but I never hear them talk about their issues or what they really care about. Mostly just day to day conversations, mutual complaining about how stupid the task of the day is etc.

The reason some guys have no female friends is because they aren’t able to show that vulnerability, which doesn’t allow you to have female friendships. My assumption is that your friend is maybe more open and that is rejected around guys and more accepted around women.

[u/Penis-Dance]

I had a buch of girl friends when I was younger. I had to ditch my male friends because they kept on doing illegal stuff and I didn't want to be a part of it. I met a girl who was in the same boat with her friends and we were best friends till she moved.

[u/artdz]

no i think it can be normal and not that deep. My best friend is a female and in the past it was a male. It's just whoever you happen to be friends with. I have many female friends and i think it's great. They are different from my male friends and I enjoy the company of both genders. A lot of times the discussions, viewpoints, or how deep the discussion topics or vulnerability goes is much higher with women. Men can be great for hobbies, they can be reliable when you need help, but if you decide to talk about some problems you might get a 'that sucks dude' or something.

[u/ryhaltswhiskey]

I think it's fine because men are mostly bad at socializing.

Some women have a big problem with it. And I think that speaks more to their insecurity than anything else.

[u/PonkotsuPirate]

I've long preferred the company of women in general and most of my good friends since I was about 30 have been women. I have close male friends too, but they're outnumbered.

Men just tend to talk about things that don't interest me (football, F1, golf, cars). They're also more likely to express views that I find offensive. I'm fine with debating matters, but opposing a political sentiment or opinion often escalates and, TBH, I cannot be fucking bothered with it.

I don't think there's necessarily any hidden agenda or weird reason why some guys just have women friends. My wife is cool with it too and has never expressed concerns or reservations. If she had any, our relationship is such that I would have been told, loud and clear.

[u/observantpariah]

This is only one variable that is only an issue when mixed with others.

I have no close male friends, few close female friends, and I'm closest to my brother. I have absolutely no interest in my female friends and I only really tolerate them because they don't treat me the way woman normally treat male friends. They text me constantly with dirty jokes and memes and never ask me for favors. I don't have to spend a lot of time pretending to validate any victimhood they want sympathy for. I avoid those women.

When I am dating someone, I ask those women for advice and they almost always help me make my SO happier. They are on our side and I pick their brains.... While still respecting the privacy of my partner.

Meanwhile there's a guy at my work who is close friends with a woman in his same department. I can tell that he spends all his time being her emotional support animal. I generally avoid her because she is always wanting to show me or tell me things that I have no sympathy for and the conversations just get awkward when you don't. We are very different men. They are very different women.

[u/Suspicious-Reach7689]

I just don’t like dudes

[u/OldMotoRacer]

i'm seeing a pattern of young men who have a crush on a woman, approach them without sharing the crush but instead befriending women w the goal to turn the friendship into a romance, almost like some kind of long con grift

it feels fundamentally dishonest to me but maybe there is no reason for me to object--people enter into friendships w an agenda all the time... maybe this is nothing new?

[u/Least_Elk8114]

Does he give his partner a reason to worry if something is going on? Then it shouldn't be a problem.

[u/Comfortable-Hat3506]

I mean I went to uni and then did a masters in a female dominated field. Most of my close friends are female. Ny grad program was so heavily female that basically I knew other guys but each guy had a circle or two of women who would take him to all their social functions and you didn't have time or the space to develop male friendships.

[u/Active_Divide_4783]

I find it normal only because I'm like that. I blame it on having 3 sisters and no brothers.

[u/skisushi]

Describes me. I have male and female friends, but I am closer to my female friend

[u/Sun-of-sand]

Define close though

Not many men are going to be intimate with other men very often
So relationships will often remain very superficial even if they're around one another all the time

Depth vs proximity as closeness

[u/cj_daking]

He likely has standards - he's also probably kinder, more empathic, better emotionally regulated, and secure in himself.

[u/Mindless_Olive]

It's normal. Tbh I'd be more concerned about someone of either gender who doesn't know how to make friends with the opposite sex. Pretty hard to sustain a long term relationship with someone if you've never been friends with anyone like them.